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View Full Version : Inmate at it again


skinzzfan25
08-17-2007, 04:50 PM
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293625,00.html

The prisoner who made headlines by filing a "63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit against NFL quarterback Michael Vick is at it again, this time suing new home run king Barry Bonds, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and a character unable to defend itself — Hank Aaron's bat.

This guy just has way too much time on his hands, this "claim" however is much crazier than the Vick one, and that's saying A LOT. Just imagine Bonds cracking the Liberty Bell with Hank Aaron's bat, lmao.

HoopsDemon12
08-17-2007, 04:52 PM
this guy really needs to just shut up... next he will be sueing the pope for somthing... i bet he is just doing as much as he can in hipes he can win one

JeffSamardzijaIRISH
08-17-2007, 04:56 PM
He loses money though doesn't he?

umphrey
08-17-2007, 04:58 PM
this guy really needs to just shut up... next he will be sueing the pope for somthing... i bet he is just doing as much as he can in hipes he can win one

Yeah, I really think he accused Barry Bonds of using Hank Aaron's steroid-filled bat to crack the liberty bell because he thought he'd win the lawsuit.

bsaza2358
08-17-2007, 04:59 PM
The first one was ridiculously funny in a sad way. This one smacks of either parody or desperate attempt for attention.

Vikes99ej
08-17-2007, 05:00 PM
How can he file a lawsuit from prison?

slightlyaraiderfan
08-17-2007, 05:08 PM
I hope he keeps the lawsuits coming, these are f'n great.

gbpackers0065
08-17-2007, 05:17 PM
He loses money though doesn't he?

He could, but so what? He's in Jail if he's in debt what are they gonna do?

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
08-17-2007, 05:34 PM
Seriously, like I said in the other thread, he must be playing Mad Libs.

nobodyinparticular
08-17-2007, 05:59 PM
This guy should seriously write for The Onion. This is good stuff.

Paul
08-17-2007, 06:20 PM
FoxNews would be the only outlet printing this s***.

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:01 PM
My two favorite parts:

"Riches also says Bonds left him a threatening message on his iPhone, bench-pressed him against his will to show off in front of his buddies, got him indicted because he threatened to expose his steroid and cocaine abuse and even sold steroids to nuns."


"Riches wants the court to impose a "preliminary injunction temporary restraining order against............ [sic], defendant's pets and associates from any future contact with plaintiff.""

Philliez01
08-17-2007, 07:06 PM
The first one was ridiculously funny in a sad way. This one smacks of either parody or desperate attempt for attention.

I was thinking a parody as well. Well you're in jail and you're bored. Instead of getting gang raped, why not try to create a laugh or two. Then you can write your own Tell-All book about your true motives and become an NY Bestseller. But yet he's still in jail which is probably the catch.

BigDawg819
08-17-2007, 07:13 PM
I like how he writes in his lawsuit that he does business as "The White Suge Knight".

Damix
08-17-2007, 07:17 PM
I hope he keeps the lawsuits coming, these are f'n great.



Agreed, this guy has nothing to lose if hes in prison. I doubt he has any assets that all these people he is suing can counter sue against.

He is bored and trying to pass the time. Bravo to him.

Windy
08-17-2007, 07:20 PM
on the news they said his previous lawsuits were against tony danza and the ming dynasty.

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:37 PM
on the news they said his previous lawsuits were against tony danza and the ming dynasty.

More than that. Apparently he filed a 57 page defendant list in another lawsuit. Some of the names included in the suit?

James Hoffa, google.com, Pope Benedict XVI(looks like he already has sued a pope hoopsdemon), Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, accuweather.com, Adolph Hitler's National Socialist Party(Nazi's), the Gambino crime family, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami(this one kind of makes sense if you think about it lol), GEICO, Israel, Tsunami Victims, The Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Al-Qaida, Outback Steakhouse, Chris Berman(he may have a point here), Meals on Wheels, Plato, the Lincoln Memorial, Buddhist monks, The Mossad, Medieval Times(not the restaurant mind you, the actual time period), Brotherhood of the Snake, Rastafarians, the National Association for Stock Car Racing(again, he might have a point), the Illuminati, Wu-Tang Clan, Nordic Gods(again, not a brand name, the actual Gods), Lambeau Field(I guess it does get pretty cold...), Pizza Hut, Gangs in Hong Kong, National Hockey League Players Association(again.......), the Philadelphia Eagles 2005 roster.

And there were definately a bunch more. I'd cut and paste it, but the site won't let me, so I thought I'd give some of the funnier ones. Here's a link as well.

http://www.bootsandsabers.com/index.php/weblog/permalink/prisoner_lawsuit_against_michael_vick/

BigDawg819
08-17-2007, 07:39 PM
More than that. Apparently he filed a 57 page defendant list in another lawsuit. Some of the names included in the suit?

James Hoffa, google.com, Pope Benedict XVI(looks like he already has sued a pope hoopsdemon), Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, John Deere, accuweather.com, Adolph Hitler's National Socialist Party(Nazi's), the Gambino crime family, Islamic Republic of Iran, University of Miami(this one kind of makes sense if you think about it lol), GEICO, Israel, Tsunami Victims, The Red Cross, Jessica Alba, Al-Qaida, Outback Steakhouse, Chris Berman(he may have a point here), Meals on Wheels, Plato, the Lincoln Memorial, Buddhist monks, The Mossad, Medieval Times(not the restaurant mind you, the actual time period), Brotherhood of the Snake, Rastafarians, the National Association for Stock Car Racing(again, he might have a point), the Illuminati, Wu-Tang Clan, Nordic Gods(again, not a brand name, the actual Gods), Lambeau Field, Pizza Hut, Gangs in Hong Kong, National Hockey League Players Association(again.......), the Philadelphia Eagles 2005 roster.


How exactly does one sue the Medieval Time Period?

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:41 PM
How exactly does one sue the Medieval Time Period?

Well, it was pretty turbulent.

BigDawg819
08-17-2007, 07:45 PM
Well, it was pretty turbulent.

I don't disagree, but how do you sue a time period?

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:46 PM
I don't disagree, but how do you sue a time period?

Maybe he figures the government has a secret time machine and they can go back and collect a goat from everyone back then.

BigDawg819
08-17-2007, 07:49 PM
Maybe he figures the government has a secret time machine and they can go back and collect a goat from everyone back then.

Maybe, personally I'd go for a chicken.

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:50 PM
How about a comely wench?

BigDawg819
08-17-2007, 07:51 PM
How about a comely wench?

Possibly, but the chickens are a bit more tempting.

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 07:53 PM
Easier to carry, if anything.

Windy
08-17-2007, 08:05 PM
http://casedocs.justia.com/michigan/miedce/2:2007cv13041/222743/1/0.pdf




Count 1

All Defendents are in a vast interconnect conspiracy to kidnap my mind.
Defendents have a secret headquarters where the Detroit Tigers play Football

ironman4579
08-17-2007, 08:09 PM
http://casedocs.justia.com/michigan/miedce/2:2007cv13041/222743/1/0.pdf

It's no wonder we keep drafting high. Placido Polanco doesn't have the measurables and Kenny Rogers doesn't have the scrambling ability. Plus our Oline is too small.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
08-17-2007, 08:54 PM
He sued Plato?

P-L
08-17-2007, 09:01 PM
I'm with sarf, I hope he keeps suing people. This stuff is great.

Vikes99ej
08-17-2007, 09:12 PM
That guy shouldn't be in prison, he should be in a mental ward.

skinzzfan25
08-17-2007, 09:25 PM
I like how he writes in his lawsuit that he does business as "The White Suge Knight".

Yeah lmao I saw that and I was cracking up so bad.

EDIT: The best part though has to be where he said he saw Barry selling steroids to nuns.

SuperMcGee
08-17-2007, 10:21 PM
This guy is great

Ming Dynasty, tsunami victims, and Medieval times. Outstanding.

The defendant list just keeps getting better the more it piles up.

Aztec pyramids, Peter Jennings' widow, Kyoto Protocol, Elian Gonzalez, Statue of Felix Dzerzhinsky, Trojan Horse

ATLDirtyBirds
08-18-2007, 06:31 AM
This dude is awesome. Great way to pass the time.

BigDawg819
08-18-2007, 02:55 PM
Who else thinks he gets a show on Comedy Central upon his release?

jballa838
08-18-2007, 03:06 PM
this is impossible. how did bonds slam him against the wall and leave messages on his iphone if he was in jail?
even more strange, HOW THE F*** DID HE GET AN IPHONE?

BigDawg819
08-18-2007, 03:11 PM
this is impossible. how did bonds slam him against the wall and leave messages on his iphone if he was in jail?
even more strange, HOW THE F*** DID HE GET AN IPHONE?

Commissary, he traded a lot of cigarettes.... :D

trkaline
08-18-2007, 03:14 PM
O **** this stuff is classic they should release him based on those statements,those guys put him through enough poor poor guy....He Needs Justice he needs...HARVEY BIRDMAN Attorney at Law!!!!

jballa838
08-18-2007, 03:14 PM
also, in that list one page 1 of the people he is sueing...
the most likely reason for the names on there was he was sitting in prison flipping through channels and he decided whenever something of value was said, he would sue them.
damn you jessica alba. you ruined this mans life.

trkaline
08-18-2007, 03:18 PM
The Detroit Tigers playing football, gotta be better than the Detroit Lions playing football...