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CJSchneider
06-08-2008, 05:04 PM
Now, I saw a beer appreciation thread, which I will look at later, but not this one. I think the purpose of the thread speaks for its' self.

I'll go first.

1. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

2. Man may call "Bull****"

JF4
06-08-2008, 05:07 PM
What if all the urinals except for one are full?

CJSchneider
06-08-2008, 05:11 PM
1a. When all urinals are full Man has option of : waiting, using the sink, or going outside. Conversation is highly frowned upon in the "Men's Room".

fenikz
06-08-2008, 05:12 PM
then it doesn't matter

No fruiting the beer
No wasting alcohol in the name of humor
Shammings are acceptable

princefielder28
06-08-2008, 05:27 PM
If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.

JF4
06-08-2008, 05:28 PM
One of the oldest man-law's...

bro's before ho's.

princefielder28
06-08-2008, 05:46 PM
One of the oldest man-law's...

bro's before ho's.

unless they take off their clothes

Bills2083
06-08-2008, 05:48 PM
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

wicket
06-08-2008, 05:55 PM
Men shall not show their emotions besides by the words coming from his mouth.

Men shall never participate in physical contact between anything else than the hands except when
- said contact is in a sport-related context
- the contact is violent
- both subjects are italian and/or part of organised crime

Brent
06-08-2008, 07:17 PM
Law: Men shouldn't be homophobes.

Staubach12
06-08-2008, 07:21 PM
Men shall not show their emotions besides by the words coming from his mouth.

Men shall never participate in physical contact between anything else than the hands except when
- said contact is in a sport-related context
- the contact is violent
- both subjects are italian and/or part of organised crime

Those both suck balls. There's a time for showing emotions, and horsing around is the bomb.

yo123
06-08-2008, 07:33 PM
What if I have to choice between violating the 1 urinal seperation rule or pissing in the short urinal? I ran into this one today and I was pretty flustered.

Canadian_kid16
06-08-2008, 07:45 PM
1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her itís a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friendís home)

5. Short shorts have been bannedÖ Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.

11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then youíre not a man.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.


13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be replayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really ****** and the owner doesnít care about muddy seats.

16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.

17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.

18. You poke it you own it.

19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.

20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.

21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not countÖ rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.

22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E Ö Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a betÖ or if a man is figuratively in a girls pantsÖ (Or any other article of clothing).

23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop his collar.

24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.

25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.

26. All men must eat meat. A ******** of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick **** like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.

27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.

28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"

29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.

30. under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Letís just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch.

31. Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.

32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesnít mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used is said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it (Cameron Ross, Nick Polyzos, Kristina Brockmann, and Drew Westerfield).

33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.

34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to Manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.

35. Women can't drive.

36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.

37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.

38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the military should at least support the troops, even if you donít agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support

39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.

42. A man will not live in his parentís house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.

43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". And the right to leave the room.

44. Sex is more important then talking

45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.

46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.

47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat

48. Men will invite other men to Man Law

49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "itís not their brand."

50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.

51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.

52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.

53. If you spill a manís beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.

54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you canít drink it in said time, donít open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.

55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.

56. It is never a manís responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighborís lawn.

57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.

58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.

59. The bachelorís party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).

60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Itís understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.

61. A man purse is still a purse. (David Emadi)

62. No man shall dance for fun unless itís to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.

63. Body paint is only acceptable on a man if itís on game day and to support his team.

64. No man shall bring a woman to the guyís night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.

65. If you do not sweat, itís not a sport. (People sweat during Beer Pong.)

66. If a large snake catches a man off guard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.

67. No man shall wear a beret unless itís for his military service.

68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.

69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.

70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.

71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.

72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring.

73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.

74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.

75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.

76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.

77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.

78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.

79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch.

80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice.

81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, Lacrosse, or Ice Hockey.

82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys.

83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle.

84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female.

85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.

86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.

87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away.

88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man.

89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions.

90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her.

91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monte Cristo, CAO (Cade Mayo).

92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined (Eric Gartenberg).

93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones)

94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.

95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.

96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".

97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "********!" (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)

98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.

100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.

101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.

102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.

103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friendís birthday is optional)

104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriendís cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.

105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing. You should know such things.

106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.

107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you donít let him be the last sorry son of a ***** standing on the sideline.

108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.

109. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.

110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.

111. Everybody is Irish on St. Patricks Day. And as such said people must consume alcohol on St. Patricks Day. Green and/ or gold body paint may be worn, but no glitter.

112.When passing another man in a tight area were contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "***" may be deamed necessary. Resulting immediate demotion in man status. (Cody Miller)

**113.
"Under no circumstance shall a man bail on his friends over a girlfriend. Unless she is hot and providng tang, there is no excuse for ditching friends on guys night out when beer is the main topic. Nor shall that man be on the phone with her all night. If she calls more than once within 10 minutes, that man is obligated to turn his phone off. No text messages, no calls. This also falls under ML # 90 in which no man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. If for any reason a man cuts guys night short or bails on future plans to spend time with his girlfriend for any reason other than sex, he is officially known as the "***** whipped *****" of the group. Consequence other than title is to purchase a free round of drinks for his buds the following time he is "allowed" to go out.
(Steve Fuhrman)

*This indicates how important a law is. (Not all laws have been reviewed for this)

props to Facebook for giving me these

Go_Eagles77
06-08-2008, 08:06 PM
This thread reminded me of this video -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

Brent
06-08-2008, 08:17 PM
Law: I should not be expected to read an essay-long list of laws.

Go_Eagles77
06-08-2008, 08:19 PM
Law: I should not be expected to read an essay-long list of laws.

I only got to 14. lol

CJSchneider
06-09-2008, 09:11 AM
No man shall ever be considered an "expert" at wrapping oddly-shaped Christmas gifts.

eaglesalltheway
06-10-2008, 07:47 AM
Man Law:
Men should never wear band-aids, no matter the severity. If its that bad either go to the hospital or die. If its little, you'll live,

Brothgar
06-10-2008, 08:32 AM
Man Law: Men are not allowed to make lists unless they are multiples of 10.

Content of such lists must either be involved with sports or Worlds blankiest blank.

Man Law: Unless a spider is larger than your foot or head a man must be willing to crush it.

Brent
06-10-2008, 09:40 AM
Man Law: Unless a spider is larger than your foot or head a man must be willing to crush it.
To those of us who live in the area where you can find a Brown Recluse, I disagree.

Staubach12
06-10-2008, 09:55 AM
Yeah, I disagree with the spider one, too.

http://api.ning.com/files/DCm7URGUTVH8fohistUexTO562kRQ2slftoSma7aySdTphlK8f e9aY7ZtmO9MnZtZaQPkSryGiDAXNfdEo1wUHTZrPlNEyGu/1.jpg

UKfan
06-10-2008, 11:29 AM
Someone violated the urinal rule at my work today, I was not at all amused. What should I have done in the situation?

BeerBaron
06-10-2008, 12:17 PM
Man Law: Men are not allowed to make lists unless they are multiples of 10.

Content of such lists must either be involved with sports or Worlds blankiest blank.

Man Law: Unless a spider is larger than your foot or head a man must be willing to crush it.

no. simply....no.

CJSchneider
06-10-2008, 12:35 PM
Man Law: Unless a spider is larger than your foot or head a man must be willing to crush it.

You wan't me to step on a spider larger than my foot. Let's change "crush" to "kill". That way we can use explosives if need be.

villagewarrior
06-10-2008, 12:39 PM
Since all of the laws are void if getting sex is an option, why even have the list? Every man here knows they would do anything for a chance with a hot chick.

The only law a man should abide by:

A real man should know what is manly.

JT Jag
06-10-2008, 01:00 PM
A man can never ask for directions. It is acceptable for a man to own a GPS, but he can never brag about it. If he does brag about it, it is a count against manliness that may be taken to the Court of Man Law for adjudication.

Watchman
06-10-2008, 02:53 PM
To those of us who live in the area where you can find a Brown Recluse, I disagree.

Its a spider, once you've seen the spider, the spider has lost.

eaglesfan_45
06-10-2008, 02:59 PM
Yeah, I disagree with the spider one, too.

http://api.ning.com/files/DCm7URGUTVH8fohistUexTO562kRQ2slftoSma7aySdTphlK8f e9aY7ZtmO9MnZtZaQPkSryGiDAXNfdEo1wUHTZrPlNEyGu/1.jpg

I don't know what I would do if I saw that, I would probably call 911, I would flip the **** out.

I have a phobia with spiders and bees

BeerBaron
06-10-2008, 03:01 PM
Its a spider, once you've seen the spider, the spider has lost.

unless your barefoot in your basement with nothing to smash it with nearby.....and i know ones there, dont kill it, and lose it, im like terrified to go back into that area for a little while

I don't know what I would do if I saw that, I would probably call 911, I would flip the **** out.

I have a phobia with spiders and bees

im not so bad with bees but spiders.....****. i used to make my little brother kill them for me, lol.

Brothgar
06-10-2008, 03:06 PM
Yeah, I disagree with the spider one, too.

http://api.ning.com/files/DCm7URGUTVH8fohistUexTO562kRQ2slftoSma7aySdTphlK8f e9aY7ZtmO9MnZtZaQPkSryGiDAXNfdEo1wUHTZrPlNEyGu/1.jpg

Well I'm pretty sure that this spider is bigger than my foot. But good call on the brown recluse. Amendment all spiders that will kill you are also exceptions.

(Just so we're on the record I am scared of bees too.)

UKfan
06-10-2008, 03:09 PM
Yeah I am no good with spiders either.

Go_Eagles77
06-10-2008, 03:16 PM
Yesterday I saw a spider crawl into a tiny crack where the wall meets the ceiling in my living room. This just makes me think theres hundreds of them up there multiplying.

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 03:18 PM
ABSOLUTELY NO PILLOW BITING!!! If you're going to be a butt pirate just don't bite you're damn pillow.

Go_Eagles77
06-10-2008, 03:19 PM
wtf is pillow biting

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 03:21 PM
unless your barefoot in your basement with nothing to smash it with nearby.....and i know ones there, dont kill it, and lose it, im like terrified to go back into that area for a little while



im not so bad with bees but spiders.....****. i used to make my little brother kill them for me, lol.

I remember in fourth grade we were sitting in the hall waiting to get let into class and I saw a spider climbing on the wall across the hall and just straight up froze. I couldn't move until my teacher killed that *****.

I refuse to open the skimmers on outdoor pools because I'm scared of finding a nest of spiders. Nercophilia, sure. Spiders, HELLZ NO.

eaglesfan_45
06-10-2008, 03:30 PM
Those giant freaking black bees *chills* I take off any time I see those

http://www.dpughphoto.com/images/bee%20black%20cbsp%20101905.JPG

Go_Eagles77
06-10-2008, 03:33 PM
There's a nest of these about 2 feet away from my front door

http://www.naturephoto-cz.com/photos/krasensky/wasp-0071.jpg

I always run inside in fear of them either stinging me or getting inside my house. lol

eaglesfan_45
06-10-2008, 03:36 PM
There's a nest of these about 2 feet away from my front door

http://www.naturephoto-cz.com/photos/krasensky/wasp-0071.jpg

I always run inside in fear of them either stinging me or getting inside my house. lol

there was a wasp's nest at my Grandma's house once and it was right by the giant window above the Front Door, I used to sit there with binoculars just spying on them, andd thinking of a plan to kill them.

BTW you should call an exterminator or something those look nasty

Brent
06-10-2008, 03:45 PM
wtf is pillow biting
justfuckinggoogleit.com

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 03:48 PM
justfuckinggoogleit.com

remind me to +rep you later

Go_Eagles77
06-10-2008, 04:22 PM
justfuckinggoogleit.com

Good idea.

Mr.Regular
06-10-2008, 04:42 PM
Law: Men shouldn't be homophobes.
http://www.notinaday.com/kelly/images/Rachel.jpg

Mr.Regular
06-10-2008, 04:49 PM
Since all of the laws are void if getting sex is an option, why even have the list?
http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/2996/bobbummernu4.jpg

iworshipbender
06-10-2008, 05:18 PM
2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really ****** and the owner doesnít care about muddy seats.

33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.

39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

42. A man will not live in his parentís house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.

54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you canít drink it in said time, donít open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.

58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.

75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.

2. Unless said birth control is either A. condoms B. vasectomy C.abortion

A15. Bros before hoes, no woman deserves to override your friend's shotgun call unless she is your mother or wife.

33.This rule is null if A.the woman can't cook B. you are a much better cook than them, and you want to cook

39. It is acceptable to crush beer cans on your head if you are under 25 and only if you crush multiple cans in one night.

42.No man will live in his parent's house past the age of 24, as he should already have graduated college or in a paying job/career

54. Ales are supposed to be served lukewarm, and taste better that way.

58. You should NEVER ditch your friends, even for sex. Because your friends are more important than someone you're having sex with. Besides, you can always get sex from them after you're done hanging out with your friends.

75. It is acceptable to sit with your foot resting on your knee, provided you aren't wearing shorts.

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 05:29 PM
58. You should NEVER ditch your friends, even for sex. Because your friends are more important than someone you're having sex with. Besides, you can always get sex from them after you're done hanging out with your friends.

75. It is acceptable to sit with your foot resting on your knee, provided you aren't wearing shorts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwUf0HEBHgo

Sitting cross legged shoulld be accepted giving proper "medication"

CJSchneider
06-10-2008, 05:38 PM
Man shall not watch the "Lifetime" channel, EVER. "License to Grill" and DIY home-improvement shows are acceptable.

Michigan
06-10-2008, 06:17 PM
32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesnít mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used is said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it (Cameron Ross, Nick Polyzos, Kristina Brockmann, and Drew Westerfield).


Whole list void.

Byrd430
06-10-2008, 11:37 PM
Ok, so, have you noticed those women magazines that feature stuff like "10 things guys ____".

I've always felt the urge to pick up one and read that section because I'm curious as to what these women actually know about men.

What's the man law on that?

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 11:39 PM
Ok, so, have you noticed those women magazines that feature stuff like "10 things guys ____".

I've always felt the urge to pick up one and read that section because I'm curious as to what these women actually know about men.

What's the man law on that?

You need special clearance for that. talk to bob in research.

Crickett
06-10-2008, 11:50 PM
You should NEVER ditch your friends, even for sex. Because your friends are more important than someone you're having sex with. Besides, you can always get sex from them after you're done hanging out with your friends.

Bulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllshit.

TheGreatEscape
06-10-2008, 11:59 PM
Bulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwUf0HEBHgo

CJSchneider
06-11-2008, 07:05 AM
Ok, so, have you noticed those women magazines that feature stuff like "10 things guys ____".

I've always felt the urge to pick up one and read that section because I'm curious as to what these women actually know about men.

What's the man law on that?

That could be considered "Gathering Intel" which gives it a hard, military, "spying on the enemy" sound to it. It could also be one hell of a segue into a pick up line.