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View Full Version : What an idiot


jayceheathman
08-11-2008, 04:12 AM
I found this really really funny and quite desturbing.

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his ***** out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

When police arrive they found Xian stuck face down where he had been stuck for some time.

When doctors arrived on the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but the ***** was so swollen that they ended up having to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

4 painful hours later, Doctors finally separated Xian from his bench.

Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer, they would have had to remove his *****.

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-*****-humping-steel-bench/

BRAVEHEART
08-11-2008, 04:15 AM
I guess that's why "you should'nt **** chairs"...huh? If that's not the moral of the story, then what is?

Rob S
08-11-2008, 04:19 AM
haha.....that was awesome. that is a rep gainer.

Caddy
08-11-2008, 04:29 AM
I would have just assumed it was common knowledge not to put your **** into a park bench.

eaglesfan_45
08-11-2008, 04:42 AM
lol was he that desperate? and I can't imagine his train of thought. "I'm going to **** the park bench!" lol.

fenikz
08-11-2008, 04:47 AM
was he so turned on by the bench that he couldn't get rid of his boner?

eaglesalltheway
08-11-2008, 07:55 AM
That struck me as odd too, I wonder if he had a ******? haha.

PackerLegend
08-11-2008, 08:27 AM
Hey there baby.... your looking hot tonight......

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/5365/marissa11wm0.jpg


No Not Her.... This lovely beaut


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2353/2338369943_e9d4190aec.jpg

iworshipbender
08-11-2008, 08:34 AM
Hey there baby.... your looking hot tonight......

ugly


No Not Her.... This lovely beaut


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2353/2338369943_e9d4190aec.jpg

That is a damn fine bench. I want to caress those armrests slowly as I run my lips along the seat.

eaglesalltheway
08-11-2008, 08:37 AM
Not funny man, not funny;).

Rob S
08-11-2008, 10:36 AM
was he so turned on by the bench that he couldn't get rid of his boner?

must have been so tight the blood couldnt drain? He was probably a major grower lol

Bills2083
08-11-2008, 10:40 AM
Haha, that's hilarious.
If I were one of the doctors or police, I'd be laughing my ass off the whole time I was there.

Brent
08-11-2008, 11:24 AM
I thought this was going to be about Matt Jones... but still hilarious.

slightlyaraiderfan
08-11-2008, 12:00 PM
+rep for Xian.

bored of education
08-11-2008, 12:03 PM
At least benches can't so no!

PackerLegend
08-11-2008, 06:14 PM
At least benches can't so no!

Come on BOE you messed it up. Say not So... Anyways the bench doesnt have to talk.. when that fine little beauty aint in the mood she just tightens up on your junk... She is secretly saying I told you I wasnt in the mood b****

alca1992
08-11-2008, 06:47 PM
what do you expect him to do. not **** the bench

619
08-11-2008, 06:59 PM
He almost got his ******* ***** removed ... his ******* ***** man ...

thule
08-11-2008, 06:59 PM
must have been so tight the blood couldnt drain? He was probably a major grower lol

I didn't know asians could be major growers >_>

CJSchneider
08-11-2008, 07:00 PM
I dry humped a couch once.

619
08-11-2008, 07:02 PM
I dry humped a couch once.

No need for this kinda **** in this thread. Oh, please no lol .

thule
08-11-2008, 07:07 PM
I dry humped a couch once.

http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/beanbag/img/chair_17.jpg

???

bored of education
08-11-2008, 07:20 PM
I Destroyed My Joke. Idiot Boezo

iworshipbender
08-11-2008, 07:40 PM
http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/beanbag/img/chair_17.jpg

???

Hole's too small, and the velcro would hurt

PackerLegend
08-11-2008, 11:56 PM
Hole's too small, and the velcro would hurt

Might as well wack off with sandpaper... it would be just as awful as velcro.