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BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:19 PM
I didnt know where to put this, probably couldve found a place but i didnt want to drag a thread up or anything or spend awhile finding the right one.

So im a highschool student and i do track, we really dont have anything to talk about so we share stories. There assorted, but most of them are vulgar and involve degrading women and sexual things, the typical stuff.

I have many, so i hope this will turn into a bigger thing, but theres a pretty messed up few id like to share before this thread goes kaput.

Story 1-

My friend's sister, not really a party girl but she gets trashed and is a senior so she lets loose, also hooked up with a freshmen and danced really weird (grinding but like not).

So anyway, shes visiting colleges and she goes to a party because she can stay over night (her friend goes there). And this guy is buying all the girls drinks and starts hitting on her. So she and him hooked up and danced, but then she didnt want to do anything else, shes kindof almost going out with another guy. So the guy asks her to come back to his house, and she says no, although shes borderline smashed.

The girls (her "friends") tell her to go with him, im not sure if he even attends the school anymore because he had an apartment all to himself and money lol. So he gives her his number anyway, and thats that.

The next day she has bumps on her face, doesnt show her mom, and tells her brother that she probably has herpies and to tell her mom that shes sick. She drives herself to the doctors and gets examined.

The doctor comes in shuts the door and seriously looks in her face, asks her what shes been doing. She explained the party and all, and then he said well you have the black flee. Which you get when you come into contact with dead bodies.

So basically the guy who she almost went to the apartment with has been raping and killing girls and keeping them in his apartment probably still kissing and touching.

Story 2-

This one was pretty gross, so dont blame me. This kid has an obsession with jacking off, he has gotten tired of normal things like magazines, computers, and such. So he looks online one day for some way to jack off.

There were a few ones that caught his eye but since he had a pool he decided to use this one. Diving for Pearls. Basically you go to the bottom of the pool, hold your breath, and like stay ontop of the sucky thingy on the bottom (filter idk) and just do it.

His parents and sister arent home so he goes down and decides to do it, makes sure theres not that much clorine so it wont burn and so he can see what hes doing. He gets to the bottom starts doing his thing and then he ejaculates. Hence the diving for pearls (cum). And then he goes back down and tries to do it again, this time he doesnt have as much breath, so he starts going back up.

He feels a sharp pain, and looks down. His intestine is fricken stuck to the filter. He tries to pull it loose but it just hurts alot and wont come off. So hes losing breath and decides to bite it off.

His parents find him on the side of the pool with a bleeding intestine protruding from his butthole. Oh and the week it turns out his sister got pregnant.

STORY 3-

So our football team sucks ridiculously, im on it lol, and we wound up winning our opener somehow. The soccer kids basically run the parties because they can do whatever they want their coach doesnt care because he thinks theyre all gods.

So there is a party at a football seniors house, he has beer and everything, i left because i dont drink and i was frankly not going to get any. So this senior guy who was a virgin and clearly because he acted so gay, finally got some, but they decided to leave and go to her house (i dont know why no parents were in the houses).

So they get there, things get serious, she gets horny and asks him if he has a condum. And of course he doesnt hes a virgin. So she asks if he has lube. and he doesnt. They start doing it but it doesnt feel good. So they look for something to use, and of course they go into the fridge.

She sees cottage cheese on the counter and they start using it. And its fine. The next day shes like having crazy orgasms in class and does know why. She finnaly goes to the nurse (she gets asked sexual stuff all the time) and asks her whats wrong. So of course the nurse asks to see her vag and takes out her gloves. She reaches in after asking her wat she did and the girl said she used cottage cheese and all.

The nurse takes her hand out and there are maggots in her palm.

B-Dawk
04-16-2009, 01:21 PM
doubt its true, ive heard the same thing about a friend of a friend

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:22 PM
doubt its true, ive heard the same thing about a friend of a friend

well she does track too and hasnt been there, but he has. I still havent found anything called the "black flee"

terribletowel39
04-16-2009, 01:23 PM
Is this real?? And if so, why isn't the guy behind bars??

Calvin & Kevin
04-16-2009, 01:23 PM
I didnt know where to put this, probably couldve found a place but i didnt want to drag a thread up or anything or spend awhile finding the right one.

So im a highschool student and i do track, we really dont have anything to talk about so we share stories. There assorted, but most of them are vulgar and involve degrading women and sexual things, the typical stuff.

I have many, so i hope this will turn into a bigger thing, but theres a pretty messed up few id like to share before this thread goes kaput.

Story 1-

My friend's sister, not really a party girl but she gets trashed and is a senior so she lets loose, also hooked up with a freshmen and danced really weird (grinding but like not).

So anyway, shes visiting colleges and she goes to a party because she can stay over night (her friend goes there). And this guy is buying all the girls drinks and starts hitting on her. So she and him hooked up and danced, but then she didnt want to do anything else, shes kindof almost going out with another guy. So the guy asks her to come back to his house, and she says no, although shes borderline smashed.

The girls (her "friends") tell her to go with him, im not sure if he even attends the school anymore because he had an apartment all to himself and money lol. So he gives her his number anyway, and thats that.

The next day she has bumps on her face, doesnt show her mom, and tells her brother that she probably has herpies and to tell her mom that shes sick. She drives herself to the doctors and gets examined.

The doctor comes in shuts the door and seriously looks in her face, asks her what shes been doing. She explained the party and all, and then he said well you have the black flee. Which you get when you come into contact with dead bodies.

So basically the guy who she almost went to the apartment with has been raping and killing girls and keeping them in his apartment probably still kissing and touching.

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o188/xperryxbitex/GIFs/DramaticChipmunk.gif

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

Borat
04-16-2009, 01:24 PM
So basically the guy who she almost went to the apartment with has been raping and killing girls and keeping them in his apartment probably still kissing and touching.

Whoa. That's a gigantic reach. Maybe he works at a morgue.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:24 PM
Is this real?? And if so, why isn't the guy behind bars??

well if hes really that messed up he probably knows how to avoid trouble

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:26 PM
Whoa. That's a gigantic reach. Maybe he works at a morgue.

thats what i said, but how the heck would it explain it? does he touch the bodies constantly? and then touches his mouth?

i dunno about you but what average person would touch a dead person they dont know on the skin enough to contract something like this and on their mouth?

Edit: plus i doubt bodies just being laid to rest are decomposing by then.

MetSox17
04-16-2009, 01:27 PM
I don't know if this is accurate, but i've heard on multiple occasions that you don't get symptoms of STDs until weeks after you've contracted them. I don't even think it would come out on tests if you got tested like the day after all this happened.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:27 PM
Maybe the sister is a ***** and likes dead bodies but refuses to admit it. That is just as possible as the crazy **** story you just told Ballin.

terribletowel39
04-16-2009, 01:28 PM
Well the fact that nothing comes up in WebMD or Google means this black flee thing doesn't exsist, therefore the story is a fabricated one.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:29 PM
Maybe the sister is a ***** and likes dead bodies but refuses to admit it. That is just as possible as the crazy **** story you just told Ballin.

ok your right gonzo, shes the one that rapes guys and kills them, makes sense now.

bantx
04-16-2009, 01:29 PM
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i251/Bantx/Pictures/rkellywtfio8.gif

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:29 PM
Well the fact that nothing comes up in WebMD or Google means this black flee thing doesn't exsist, therefore the story is a fabricated one.

fine, ill tell another one god.

tjsunstein
04-16-2009, 01:30 PM
yXXpMwXKWk

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:30 PM
ok your right gonzo, shes the one that rapes guys and kills them, makes sense now.

She could be breaking into funeral parlors or digging up dead bodies. Necrophilia is more common than you think...

terribletowel39
04-16-2009, 01:31 PM
ok your right gonzo, shes the one that kills them, makes sense now.
i think he is on to something. she obviously doesn't rape the guys because she is in track so she is atleast decently fit. a guy wouldn't say no. she just kills them.

Borat
04-16-2009, 01:34 PM
Gonzo, I love you.

You don't have "Black flee" right?

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:34 PM
Did your friends sister look like this?

http://www.fantasyphenoms.com/userfiles/image/crazyeyezkilla8ux.jpg

******* Krazee Eyez Killah.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:36 PM
Story 2-

This one was pretty gross, so dont blame me. This kid has an obsession with jacking off, he has gotten tired of normal things like magazines, computers, and such. So he looks online one day for some way to jack off.

There were a few ones that caught his eye but since he had a pool he decided to use this one. Diving for Pearls. Basically you go to the bottom of the pool, hold your breath, and like stay ontop of the sucky thingy on the bottom (filter idk) and just do it.

His parents and sister arent home so he goes down and decides to do it, makes sure theres not that much clorine so it wont burn and so he can see what hes doing. He gets to the bottom starts doing his thing and then he ejaculates. Hence the diving for pearls (cum). And then he goes back down and tries to do it again, this time he doesnt have as much breath, so he starts going back up.

He feels a sharp pain, and looks down. His intestine is fricken stuck to the filter. He tries to pull it loose but it just hurts alot and wont come off. So hes losing breath and decides to bite it off.

His parents find him on the side of the pool with a bleeding intestine protruding from his butthole. Oh and the week it turns out his sister got pregnant.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:38 PM
Seriously, get the **** out of here. You stole that directly from Guts and didn't even tell it properly.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:38 PM
She could be breaking into funeral parlors or digging up dead bodies. Necrophilia is more common than you think...

how can a girl have sex with a dead body? thats like impossible and a guy doing it is just gross, what could be in there? yeck

TitleTown088
04-16-2009, 01:38 PM
Urban legend. Everyone has heard that story dead girl story about "someones" friend at one point or another. I heard it about some girl who gave a dude a blowie in a bar parking lot.It's BS.

The pool intestine thing actually used to happen to little kids back in the day from what I've heard.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:38 PM
Seriously, get the **** out of here. You stole that directly from Guts and didn't even tell it properly.

lol shut up, you tell a story then

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:38 PM
how can a girl have sex with a dead body? thats like impossible and a guy doing it is just gross, what could be in there? yeck

Rigor mortis fool.

tjsunstein
04-16-2009, 01:39 PM
Why? What is this? Ew.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:39 PM
lol shut up, you tell a story then

Hahaha, you should have at least not plagiarized it. How about I steal the other two stories from Guts but we won't tell anyone?

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:40 PM
Hahaha, you should have at least not plagiarized it. How about I steal the other two stories from Guts but we won't tell anyone?

fine go ahead, as long as doing dead bodies arent involved

Brent
04-16-2009, 01:41 PM
His intestine is fricken stuck to the filter. He tries to pull it loose but it just hurts alot and wont come off. So hes losing breath and decides to bite it off
There are many other crappy stories for to waste your time with here: http://www.snopes.com/

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:41 PM
fine go ahead, as long as doing dead bodies arent involved

Hey you started it. Never question my knowledge of necrophilia.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:42 PM
There are many other crappy stories for to waste your time with here: http://www.snopes.com/

dont be a sour puss these are quality

Borat
04-16-2009, 01:43 PM
These are hilarious. Ballin's next story will involve some kids camping and a mysterious hook.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:44 PM
These are hilarious. Ballin's next story will involve some kids camping and a mysterious hook.

oh damn, i need some new material now :(

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:45 PM
STORY 3-(last one of the day for me)

So our football team sucks ridiculously, im on it lol, and we wound up winning our opener somehow. The soccer kids basically run the parties because they can do whatever they want their coach doesnt care because he thinks theyre all gods.

So there is a party at a football seniors house, he has beer and everything, i left because i dont drink and i was frankly not going to get any. So this senior guy who was a virgin and clearly because he acted so gay, finally got some, but they decided to leave and go to her house (i dont know why no parents were in the houses).

So they get there, things get serious, she gets horny and asks him if he has a condum. And of course he doesnt hes a virgin. So she asks if he has lube. and he doesnt. They start doing it but it doesnt feel good. So they look for something to use, and of course they go into the fridge.

She sees cottage cheese on the counter and they start using it. And its fine. The next day shes like having crazy orgasms in class and does know why. She finnaly goes to the nurse (she gets asked sexual stuff all the time) and asks her whats wrong. So of course the nurse asks to see her vag and takes out her gloves. She reaches in after asking her wat she did and the girl said she used cottage cheese and all.

The nurse takes her hand out and there are maggots in her palm.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:46 PM
Seriously, excellent thread Ballin. I am laughing at the fact that you seemed to have believed all these stories that people told you (although the Guts story did happen, just not to a friend of a friend). I also love that you defend these stories.

terribletowel39
04-16-2009, 01:47 PM
oh damn, i need some new material now :(
Go with three bears leave the house and a blonde goes into the house.....you finish the rest.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:53 PM
Seriously, excellent thread Ballin. I am laughing at the fact that you seemed to have believed all these stories that people told you (although the Guts story did happen, just not to a friend of a friend). I also love that you defend these stories.

hey im a believer in the creepy crawlies. plus the second one was probably made up although its possible it could happen.

the new story is above

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
04-16-2009, 01:53 PM
Congratulations Ballin, you are officially a part of NFLDC lore and will never live this down.

El Peefs?????
04-16-2009, 01:54 PM
Here i've got a good story for you, one that I was actually around to witness. Was at a friends, bunch of people over, lots of drinking taking place. Now I have two friends notorious for passing out. Well call them Steve & Mike. Steve passed out first upstairs on the couch. So like usual, we decided to mess with him. Well Mike took it a bit far. How many of you are familiar with Dave's Insanity Sauce?

http://www.davidsbbq.com/store/images/INSANITY%20Sauce.jpg

Well the stuff is ridiculously hot. Mike ended up pouring this sauce all over Steve's face then wandered off to the basement with some chick, most assumed they were hooking up. A little later Steve wakes up and the sauce goes immediately into his eyes as he opens them. He starts yelling and screaming rather high pitched like, wakes up my buddies roommate who was sleeping and had work in the morning. Roommate was pissed, Steve was pissed (i was entertained).

Shortly after this the chick who had gone downstairs with Mike comes storming back up and leaves without saying anything. One of the other guys who lives in the house goes downstairs to find Mike passed out on his bed with his pants around his ankles and his dick hanging out. Apparently he had fallen asleep mid blow job. Well Steve has an idea. We get another girl there to take the insanity sauce down stairs and rub it all over Mikes dick. Well needless to say shortly after that Mike comes sprinting up the stairs screaming and cussing about his dick. He grabs a half gallon of ice cream from the freezer and proceeds to hump & have sex with it for the next half hour.

To this day we still call him hot rod.

The end.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 01:55 PM
I want to punch you in the mouth Ballin. If anyone knows who I am talking about, you sound exactly like Karl Pilkington (if you don't you need to listen to the podcasts he is in, rarely has anything made me laugh as much as those podcastst). This is hilarious. There is no way the ******* happened to someone you know. No ******* way.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:57 PM
lol nice one peefs, not sure how you fall asleep mid blowjob though

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 01:58 PM
I want to punch you in the mouth Ballin. If anyone knows who I am talking about, you sound exactly like Karl Pilkington (if you don't you need to listen to the podcasts he is in, rarely has anything made me laugh as much as those podcastst). This is hilarious. There is no way the ******* happened to someone you know. No ******* way.

all i have to say is, some crazy **** can happen. and Marijuanna is a hell of a drug

El Peefs?????
04-16-2009, 01:58 PM
lol nice one peefs, not sure how you fall asleep mid blowjob though

The guy was infamous for passing out. Get that dude drunk and there is a 90% chance hes passing out for at least a couple hours somewhere in your house.

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 02:00 PM
The end.

That sauce is pretty good considering how hot it is.


Also, if that really happened that is awesome. I remember someone putting hot sauce in a friends ear and he got all pissed off saying "I have had an ear infection since I was 7yrs old" he was like 15-16 at the time.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:00 PM
The guy was infamous for passing out. Get that dude drunk and there is a 90% chance hes passing out for at least a couple hours somewhere in your house.

and he still does it knowing that he'll pass out thats funny in itself or just stupid

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 02:02 PM
all i have to say is, some crazy **** can happen. and Marijuanna is a hell of a drug

Marijuana doesn't make people stick cottage cheese in their vag. What was it weed laced with Heroin? Who does that. Why did she not notice maggots falling out of her *****. This story doesn't add up. The guy never getting liad because he acted gay. WTF? Why not use butter instead of cottage cheese? Did she not realize that cottage cheese goes bad. What. The. ****.

JHG722
04-16-2009, 02:02 PM
Gotta love the friend of a friend stories.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:02 PM
Congratulations Ballin, you are officially a part of NFLDC lore and will never live this down.

its actually SWDC but i liked the old one better :(

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:04 PM
Marijuana doesn't make people stick cottage cheese in their vag. What was it weed laced with Heroin? Who does that. Why did she not notice maggots falling out of her *****. This story doesn't add up. The guy never getting liad because he acted gay. WTF? Why not use butter instead of cottage cheese? Did she not realize that cottage cheese goes bad. What. The. ****.

well what if she did have butter? cottage cheese is the next best thing, and maybe she has a very deep vag? i didnt say she had a billion of these guys she had some. and i meant like in a non homosexual way GOD

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 02:05 PM
its actually SWDC but i liked the old one better :(

When I type in NFLDraftcountdown.com this site comes up so NFLDC is correct

El Peefs?????
04-16-2009, 02:05 PM
well what if she did have butter? cottage cheese is the next best thing, and maybe she has a very deep vag? i didnt say she had a billion of these guys she had some. and i mean gay like like a *** not **** GOD

Just use saliva. Its better than some household crap youll find in the fridge. Remember when Jenna Jameson had her little campaign, don't use lube, just spit!

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:07 PM
Just use saliva. Its better than some household crap youll find in the fridge. Remember when Jenna Jameson had her little campaign, don't use lube, just spit!

well jenna jameson probably has a very very very very loose vag, this girl is a senior and not like a huge pornstar

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 02:09 PM
well jenna jameson probably has a very very very very loose vag, this girl is a senior and not like a huge pornstar

I find it hilarious that you continue to defend these made up stories.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:10 PM
When I type in NFLDraftcountdown.com this site comes up so NFLDC is correct

well it works yes, i still type in nfldraftcountdown but it says draftcountdown in the Url and the title on the football thing says scott wrights draft countdown.

Speaking of scott, i hope he shares a story

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:11 PM
I find it hilarious that you continue to defend these made up stories.

fine gonzo, theyre not real, we're not real, im not really typing this into my computer, or even thinking it, its all written in a book and the book is fiction.





just keep telling yourself that

Brent
04-16-2009, 02:15 PM
I got a story, once there was a guy who thought he would take urban myths and post them as real stories because he's a gullible high schooler.

but if you want a real story, here you go:

This guy who played guard for our football team started 'roiding before our senior year, and he started having issues with his anger. Well, one day he is having sex with his girlfriend and he says, "I want to do anal" and she goes, "no I dont want to do that." So, of course, in his steroid-driven anger, he says, and this is for real because she told this to me and another guy, "FLIP OVER!" She probably would have eventually gone with it but in this situation she is scared that he is going to hit her or something so she succumbs and let's him do it. And, while he is, she's crying the whole time because of the whole situation.

The end. To follow up on that story, they ended up dating for like 3 more months afterward.

tjsunstein
04-16-2009, 02:21 PM
I got a story, once there was a guy who thought he would take urban myths and post them as real stories because he's a gullible high schooler.

but if you want a real story, here you go:

This guy who played guard for our football team started 'roiding before our senior year, and he started having issues with his anger. Well, one day he is having sex with his girlfriend and he says, "I want to do anal" and she goes, "no I dont want to do that." So, of course, in his steroid-driven anger, he says, and this is for real because she told this to me and another guy, "FLIP OVER!" She probably would have eventually gone with it but in this situation she is scared that he is going to hit her or something so she succumbs and let's him do it. And, while he is, she's crying the whole time because of the whole situation.

The end. To follow up on that story, they ended up dating for like 3 more months afterward.

I need to see a picture of this girl before I sympathize. Kidding, but that really sucks. I once asked a girl and she said no so I continued to carry on but I was really bummed for a split second.

drowe
04-16-2009, 02:21 PM
how can a girl have sex with a dead body?

it's not that hard.

hehe. see what i did there?

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:21 PM
oh thats a sad story, he played guard :(

Brent
04-16-2009, 02:22 PM
I need to see a picture of this girl before I sympathize. Kidding, but that really sucks. I once asked a girl and she said no so I continued to carry on but I was really bummed for a split second.
From time to time, me and my friends will use the line "FLIP. OVER." as a goof.

El Peefs?????
04-16-2009, 02:25 PM
From time to time, me and my friends will use the line "FLIP. OVER." as a goof.

All you need to do now is throw a syringe at her and shell likely freak out and offer her anus to you.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:25 PM
im going to get a sandwhich, by the time im done this thread will probably be done, unfortunately people like brent and peefs poison our minds with such BS.

Brent
04-16-2009, 02:28 PM
im going to get a sandwhich, by the time im done this thread will probably be done, unfortunately people like brent and peefs poison our minds with such BS.
You tell urban legends while we offer true stories and we're the ones full of ****?

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 02:32 PM
You tell urban legends while we offer true stories and we're the ones full of ****?

now your coming around!

The Unseen
04-16-2009, 02:32 PM
Gullible-Gullible Island

Brent
04-16-2009, 02:37 PM
Gullible-Gullible Island
"Do you think I'm a gullible? Or even a gulli-calf?"

Hawk
04-16-2009, 02:54 PM
This thread is so full of win.

ATLDirtyBirds
04-16-2009, 02:58 PM
What the ****...

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 03:13 PM
What the ****...

what can i say im gangsta

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 03:40 PM
im going to get a sandwhich, by the time im done this thread will probably be done, unfortunately people like brent and peefs poison our minds with such BS.

it never ceases to amaze me how smart i am

drowe
04-16-2009, 03:48 PM
it never ceases to amaze me how smart i am

yeah. smart enough to actually believe those stories are real.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 03:53 PM
yeah. smart enough to actually believe those stories are real.

well theres a possibility they are, as a story teller i would like to try to convince, but myself, i dont believe the first one (i just thought it was too good) the second one is made up but could be real, and the third one is 100% real.

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 03:56 PM
well theres a possibility they are, as a story teller i would like to try to convince, but myself, i dont believe the first one (i just thought it was too good) the second one is made up but could be real, and the third one is 100% real.

You post more than I do and that is a lot. Every time I click "new posts" you already posted on all the threads.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 03:59 PM
You post more than I do and that is a lot. Every time I click "new posts" you already posted on all the threads.

ill admitt it, i have no life, especially on break, i have nothing to do

CashmoneyDrew
04-16-2009, 04:01 PM
I'm calling ******** on all three of those original stories.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 04:07 PM
well theres a possibility they are, as a story teller i would like to try to convince, but myself, i dont believe the first one (i just thought it was too good) the second one is made up but could be real, and the third one is 100% real.

your good arent you voodoo lol

CashmoneyDrew
04-16-2009, 04:21 PM
your good arent you voodoo lol

I'm not one to brag. You could probably ask your mom though......

That one was for Wingboy.

BlindSite
04-16-2009, 04:22 PM
1. This is an urban legend and it varies based on the telling whether it was on her face or her arms or whatever and where and when she met the guy.

2. This is a blatant rip off of a short story from the Chuck Palanhuik novel Haunted, in which a bunch of "writers" are locked in a house to complete their master piece. There's a guy in his late 20s with a colostomy bag and "guts" is his story. The full version, and legally can be found by clicking this link (http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts)

3. The last one I don't know if it's true, but based on the other two I have serious doubts. For a start anyone who knows anything about a woman and has any game whatsover shouldn't need lube...

Also, if it's cottage cheese, from a fridge chances are it's not filled with maggots since:
a) Maggots are generally laid in meat and rarely in dairy,
b) it's inside an airtight fridge, kept under the right temperature, so in other words; a magical fly, capable of withstanding temperatures it's body can't operate at opened a fridge door, removed the top off some cheese, laid maggots into food it wouldn't, which then surivived where they couldn't, subsisting on food they couldn't and ended up in a vagina.

drowe
04-16-2009, 04:24 PM
no. no.

the 3rd story is also BS. i will now list reasons why this story is BS. and just for fun, i'll start with aspects that are MOST believable and work my way down.

-2 people going from unprotected sex to cottage cheese....especially when a virgin is involved.
-any sequence of events where cottage cheese in the vag sounds like the most logical solution.
-2 people not noticing that the food product they were shoving in their oraface was maggot infested.
-a school nurse giving a pelvic exam.
-maggots giving a girl an orgasm.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 04:25 PM
Maybe she just had a really dirty vag and the cottage cheese had nothing to do with it. That is why the gay guy could get with her. It all makes sense now...

the decider13
04-16-2009, 04:30 PM
Did your friends sister look like this?

http://www.fantasyphenoms.com/userfiles/image/crazyeyezkilla8ux.jpg

******* Krazee Eyez Killah.

are you my caucasian?

I'm your mother****in caucasian

Hawk
04-16-2009, 04:33 PM
Unless of course, once the cottage queso was in her vag, a fly went on the improbable mission to literally "get into her pants" and laid eggs in her vag, where they then developed into maggots and the girl became aroused.

I can so see that happening........

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 04:37 PM
Unless of course, once the cottage queso was in her vag, a fly went on the improbable mission to literally "get into her pants" and laid eggs in her vag, where they then developed into maggots and the girl became aroused.

I can so see that happening........

So we all agree that the story is true because this is obviously what happened???

bantx
04-16-2009, 04:42 PM
congratulations ballin you just won

Matthew Jones
04-16-2009, 04:49 PM
2. This is a blatant rip off of a short story from the Chuck Palanhuik novel Haunted, in which a bunch of "writers" are locked in a house to complete their master piece. There's a guy in his late 20s with a colostomy bag and "guts" is his story. The full version, and legally can be found by clicking this link (http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts)

I actually tried to read the story while holding my breath, then my dad was like, what the hell are you doing? Hahaha. I'm gonna try again later. Is that weird?

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 04:57 PM
1. This is an urban legend and it varies based on the telling whether it was on her face or her arms or whatever and where and when she met the guy.

2. This is a blatant rip off of a short story from the Chuck Palanhuik novel Haunted, in which a bunch of "writers" are locked in a house to complete their master piece. There's a guy in his late 20s with a colostomy bag and "guts" is his story. The full version, and legally can be found by clicking this link (http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts)

3. The last one I don't know if it's true, but based on the other two I have serious doubts. For a start anyone who knows anything about a woman and has any game whatsover shouldn't need lube...

Also, if it's cottage cheese, from a fridge chances are it's not filled with maggots since:
a) Maggots are generally laid in meat and rarely in dairy,
b) it's inside an airtight fridge, kept under the right temperature, so in other words; a magical fly, capable of withstanding temperatures it's body can't operate at opened a fridge door, removed the top off some cheese, laid maggots into food it wouldn't, which then surivived where they couldn't, subsisting on food they couldn't and ended up in a vagina.

1. im fine with that, its still possible lol

2. its a story, it couldve happened (hmmmm maybe it did now)

3. it happened A) rarely is a possibility b) you didnt read well, it was outside muhahah

no. no.

the 3rd story is also BS. i will now list reasons why this story is BS. and just for fun, i'll start with aspects that are MOST believable and work my way down.

-2 people going from unprotected sex to cottage cheese....especially when a virgin is involved.
-any sequence of events where cottage cheese in the vag sounds like the most logical solution.
-2 people not noticing that the food product they were shoving in their oraface was maggot infested.
-a school nurse giving a pelvic exam.
-maggots giving a girl an orgasm.

-guy was a virgin
-it does thank you
-its possible
-yea she has one of those too, our nurse is notorious for it
-well they move around dont they?

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 05:00 PM
Maybe she just had a really dirty vag and the cottage cheese had nothing to do with it. That is why the gay guy could get with her. It all makes sense now...

Gonzo, thats a nice twist, very possible. i mean we're talking top 5 slutiest girl in my school and this kid is like 5'5'' 135 pounds tops, not muscular, and not real cool

congratulations ballin you just won

thank you bantx, ill share my wealth with you for a story

Brent
04-16-2009, 05:14 PM
top 5 slutiest girl in my school
You should be hanging out with them, if you know what's good for you.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 05:20 PM
You should be hanging out with them, if you know what's good for you.

nope i sadly have a girlfriend from another school, she isnt slutty but decent

Brent
04-16-2009, 05:21 PM
nope i sadly have a girlfriend from another school, she isnt slutty but decent
I didnt say date them. Just hang out with them and get what you can. ;)

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 05:26 PM
Get THE BLACK FLEE!!!!!!!

VoteLynnSwan
04-16-2009, 05:26 PM
this seems like a pathetic attempt at a GRF esque post.

Brent
04-16-2009, 05:28 PM
this seems like a pathetic attempt at a GRF esque post.
I always think of his post when I go any where that has a drive-thru.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 05:30 PM
I didnt say date them. Just hang out with them and get what you can. ;)

aids? ill pass, ive got alot of time to get stuff like that

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 05:34 PM
aids? ill pass, ive got alot of time to get stuff like that

What the **** is up with your school and unprotected sex?

Borat
04-16-2009, 05:36 PM
-a school nurse giving a pelvic exam.


This was the most obvious one.

I think the nurse also did a full cancer test as well. Turns out the girl had stage 4 breast cancer, but the nurse started her on emergency chemotherapy and fried that ******* cancer up in time for the girl to take a pop quiz in her geography class. Now she's cancer free and eager to try sex with guacamole as a lubricant.

BaLLiN
04-16-2009, 05:36 PM
What the **** is up with your school and unprotected sex?

idk all i know is we have 3 seniors with aids, ill tell you the numbers by after prom.

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-16-2009, 05:41 PM
Use protection. Safe sex is the safest sex.
http://www.heidischoefs.be/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/safe_sex.gif

Gay Ork Wang
04-16-2009, 09:07 PM
wow what a tool

drowe
04-16-2009, 09:19 PM
This was the most obvious one.

I think the nurse also did a full cancer test as well. Turns out the girl had stage 4 breast cancer, but the nurse started her on emergency chemotherapy and fried that ******* cancer up in time for the girl to take a pop quiz in her geography class. Now she's cancer free and eager to try sex with guacamole as a lubricant.

i've never done this before...but, i'm truncating this quote and sig quoting it.

Shahin
04-16-2009, 09:57 PM
idk all i know is we have 3 seniors with aids, ill tell you the numbers by after prom.

the odds of your high school having any aids-ridden seniors is pretty slim, bro.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 10:02 PM
the odds of your high school having any aids-ridden seniors is pretty slim, bro.

I think Ballin has already proven he is the most gullible man on the planet. I am sure he believes all rumors he hears.

Hawk
04-16-2009, 10:23 PM
Three people with AIDS already. I doubt that. It would be much more believable if it was HIV but still.

Dr. Gonzo
04-16-2009, 10:25 PM
Three people with AIDS already. I doubt that. It would be much more believable if it was HIV but still.

No way man, they all go HIV at age 10 by attending church.

BaLLiN
04-17-2009, 07:30 AM
Three people with AIDS already. I doubt that. It would be much more believable if it was HIV but still.

yes i meant HIV positive, god

the decider13
04-17-2009, 09:40 AM
Thats a lot of aids...soon your whole school will have it. It's gonna happen.

Gay Ork Wang
04-17-2009, 10:20 AM
I had this friend of a friend...AND HE ACCIDENTLY A WHOLE FLESHLIGHT!

CJSchneider
04-17-2009, 10:22 AM
I know that guy, he accidentally the whole thing.

Gay Ork Wang
04-17-2009, 10:31 AM
i mean the whole thing, how do u do that? Accidently the whole thing, thats sick

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-17-2009, 10:55 AM
i mean the whole thing, how do u do that? Accidently the whole thing, thats sick

Accidently did what with the whole thing?????

Gay Ork Wang
04-17-2009, 11:00 AM
dude, he accidently the whole fleshlight. just like that.

BaLLiN
04-17-2009, 11:08 AM
we american football?

bored of education
04-17-2009, 11:17 AM
i could tell so many stories, the time i got arrested for impersonating a police officer, the time i was 12 years old at fenway going after a foul ball and this old guy choked me in front of about 500 people, the time i was pronounced dead, etc

BaLLiN
04-17-2009, 11:20 AM
i could tell so many stories, the time i got arrested for impersonating a police officer, the time i was 12 years old at fenway going after a foul ball and this old guy choked me in front of about 500 people, the time i was pronounced dead, etc

those seem pretty believable go ahead

the decider13
04-17-2009, 11:44 AM
You should tell the one about impersonating an officer.

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-17-2009, 12:09 PM
You should tell the one about being dead.

bored of education
04-17-2009, 12:24 PM
1. When I was 17, I bought a siren from Radio Shack and ws pulling people over for a few months after school and basektballs games just for shits and giggles. One day my friend and I are chasing someone with the the roller going. I was going 47 in a 30 which was not good. So I am crusiing along and I see the rollers in the rear view. fml. I get pulled over and thank god i knew the cop. He asks me for license/registration and of course I forgot my wallet. He told me if he had been a state trooper that he would have had to cuff me right there and impound the vehicle and that i committeda felony. he also informed me that their were 11 complaints filed and reported about m and that would have made my chances fof not goign to jail pretty bleak.

thats one stroy ill type up the other in a lil while

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-17-2009, 12:30 PM
1. When I was 17, I bought a siren from Radio Shack and ws pulling people over for a few months after school and basektballs games just for shits and giggles. One day my friend and I are chasing someone with the the roller going. I was going 47 in a 30 which was not good. So I am crusiing along and I see the rollers in the rear view. fml. I get pulled over and thank god i knew the cop. He asks me for license/registration and of course I forgot my wallet. He told me if he had been a state trooper that he would have had to cuff me right there and impound the vehicle and that i committeda felony. he also informed me that their were 11 complaints filed and reported about m and that would have made my chances fof not goign to jail pretty bleak.

thats one stroy ill type up the other in a lil while

That is awesome. Me and a couple friends used to mess with people with a siren on the car but never actually pulled anyone over. I mean they pulled over but we would just keep it moving.

Malaka
04-17-2009, 12:34 PM
Three things I got from this thread.

1. Ballin is gullible

2. Gonzo is a necrophiliac

3. And I am wondering why my school doesn't have these weird stories :(

bored of education
04-17-2009, 01:10 PM
The other story was that I drank all day and i could go into specifics about waht I dran kand waht I did that day from waht I heard and remember but that would be yucky. I was pronounced brain dead at the hospital but i came back like 2 minutes later. I don't know alot of the details as to waht I drank or did that day though. :(

Dr. Gonzo
04-17-2009, 01:13 PM
The other story was that I drank all day and i could go into specifics about waht I dran kand waht I did that day from waht I heard and remember but that would be yucky. I was pronounced brain dead at the hospital but i came back like 2 minutes later. I don't know alot of the details as to waht I drank or did that day though. :(

I knew that much semen in the body was deadly :)

Awesome story, you are a trooper. I have only ever blacked out for hours which is not nearly as cool as what you did. I want to hear about the old man choking you out. At first I thought it was Chris Benoit but he would have been to young and you are not disabled enough to incur his wrath.

bored of education
04-17-2009, 01:21 PM
I knew that much semen in the body was deadly :)

Awesome story, you are a trooper. I have only ever blacked out for hours which is not nearly as cool as what you did. I want to hear about the old man choking you out. At first I thought it was Chris Benoit but he would have been to young and you are not disabled enough to incur his wrath.

I ran over this 65 year old guy at a Red Sox game back in umm 1994ish. i trampled him and he started yelling and i said dude im going for the ball and he choked me for like 5 seconds and we had people track him down him and he went to jail after goignto court and stuff. it was fun times!

GYK305
04-17-2009, 01:24 PM
I ran over this 65 year old guy at a Red Sox game back in umm 1994ish. i trampled him and he started yelling and i said dude im going for the ball and he choked me for like 5 seconds and we had people track him down him and he went to jail after goignto court and stuff. it was fun times!

As long as you trampled and he was a Red Sox fan you did good that day. :D

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
04-17-2009, 01:29 PM
I remember a time me and like 3 of my friends killed literally my friends mom's whole bar. At least 20 fiths of liquor. My friend had to go to GED classes and it was like 2pm when we were finished so we started early. Well he ended up trying to fight all the staff in the building so we had to get him out. Then he started trying to hit all of us. I was getting pissed because I just got hit in the mouth and I can't do nothing because it is my friend and he is just smashed. Well we get him home and me and his brother end up going and passing out on a bed laying in a alley. We woke up a couple hours later and there were cops and an ambulance outside of his house and we just dipped. Well come to find out his brother had to go to the hospital and he died twice and came back to life. **** was crazy. I will never drink 20+ fiths of liquor in that short amount of time again.

bored of education
04-17-2009, 01:30 PM
As long as you trampled and he was a Red Sox fan you did good that day. :D

he was and im not!

GYK305
04-17-2009, 01:33 PM
he was and im not!

Then you my friend have my respect.

Borat
04-17-2009, 04:04 PM
I was pronounced brain dead at the hospital but i came back like 2 minutes later.

This actually explains a lot.

bored of education
04-17-2009, 04:14 PM
This actually explains a lot.

Yeah I know. It tells me that I cannot be killed and thats why I am so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

;)

Borat
04-17-2009, 04:19 PM
Yeah I know. It tells me that I cannot be killed and thats why I am so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

;)

Totally. That's exactly what I was alluding to.

bored of education
04-17-2009, 04:25 PM
Totally. That's exactly what I was alluding to.

I know you were.

The_Dude
04-18-2009, 10:51 AM
I went to college at UW ~ Madison and have many vague memories that include large amounts of alcohol, etc. This is probably too long, but it is one of my favorite stories....

I was out drinking with a bunch of friends one night. We were doing massive amounts of shots and closed down the bar. We were headed back to a buddy's apartment for a night cap. Well, his building was having some sort of Mexican Fiesta that weekend, so they had sombraros lying all around the front desk area. As we walked by i stole one of the hats (this will come up later ;)). As everyone walks toward the elevator, a girl (let's call her Emily) and i snuck out the side door.

We made our way back to her apartment across town, and started to go at it. We were in her bedroom, completely naked, "gettin' it on" when we could hear screaming out in the streets. The screaming kept getting closer and closer. Pretty soon the screaming was in her building (a house split into several apartments) and then right outside of her bedroom door!

By this time, penetration had occurred (repeatedly ;)) and the screamer kicked in her bedroom door and started screaming at the 2 of us: "You *****, you ****, i love you, **** you!!!" etc. He was one of the people that we were out drinking with & had been pining over Emily for quite some time.

So there i am, sitting on the end of the bed with a missle. I tell the guy that he has to get out, which he does, reluctantly/amazingly without conflict. After he leaves, we get back to what we were doing. (Amazing concentration, i know :)) While we are humping, we can still hear this guy yelling at us from the street.

By now it was about 3 or 4 in the morning and some of her neighbors were annoyed and called the police. We heard the police subdue him and then there was a knock on Emily's door. Its the cops. They want to interview us, so i crawl out of bed, with the sombraro still on & wrap a towel around my waist.

I had to do an interview with 2 female cops for about 10 minutes wearing nothing but a sombraro & towel.. drunk off my ass. Trying to get a timeline of the events, one of the cops asked me: "So, he came into the apartment while you two were, uh, getting intimate?" I laughed and said something like: "You could say that"... with my drunk-ass slurred speech, of course.

Well, they hauled that dude off to detox & Emily and I went back and finished our night/morning off right!

A long story, yes... but i laugh everytime i think about it.

BaLLiN
04-18-2009, 08:10 PM
very nacce contribution from the dude

Brent
04-19-2009, 03:29 PM
Amazing concentration, i know
Championship.