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diabsoule
03-07-2010, 12:03 PM
Can you just be friends with a girl that you find attractive and want to date? There have been several friends of mine that I have had to cut ties with because I wanted to date them but they didn't feel the same way about me and get mad whenever I say "well, then I can't be your friend". They don't seem to get it. So, can YOU just be friends?

bored of education
03-07-2010, 12:04 PM
My life story. My best girl friends are girls I either dated or professed my love to them via drunk texts in college. I am too nice of a guy at times Yes I am not a man *****.

vidae
03-07-2010, 12:05 PM
It's not possible to be just friends with someone you have feelings for. No matter what happens, they'll always get in the way.

diabsoule
03-07-2010, 12:05 PM
My life story. My best girl friends are girls I either dated or professed my love to them via drunk texts in college. I am too nice of a guy at times Yes I am not a man *****.

I'm not a man ***** either. And yeah, I can definitely be too nice but if I tell a girl that I like her and she says "I like as a friend..." then I don't talk to her as much or at all from then on. My female friends are girls that I don't want to date.

irishbucsfan
03-07-2010, 12:06 PM
My life story. My best girl friends are girls I either dated or professed my love to them via drunk texts in college. I am too nice of a guy at times Yes I am not a man *****.

Drunk confession texts FTW!

bored of education
03-07-2010, 12:09 PM
:( Text from last night should have been made for the texts I sent in college. I was such a douche about it. I'd hang out with a girl and make out with her then text her while drunk 'I think you are the one for me" then restraining order. Hmm nothing else happened in between the text and restraining order, I swear.

MetSox17
03-07-2010, 12:09 PM
No, you can't just be friends.

Jvig43
03-07-2010, 12:18 PM
If I find a girl to be attractive, or I like her I dont go to the whole friend thing, I pretty much just start flirting and making moves. The second you start doing overly nice things you become the "friend" which will never work out.

Brent
03-07-2010, 12:22 PM
No, you can't just be friends.
x1000

if you are attracted enough to a girl that you want to date her, you cannot be friends. it will be awkward. girls have a 6th sense about this ****, I swear.

CJSchneider
03-07-2010, 12:22 PM
Can you just be friends with a girl that you find attractive and want to date?

The answer is no. Eventually feelings will get in the way somehow. It's better to break it off before you get in too deep and do something stupid.

KCJ58
03-07-2010, 12:34 PM
http://z.about.com/d/movies/1/0/e/d/7/justfriendsposter.jpg

funny movie, is this what we are talking about

TitleTown088
03-07-2010, 01:13 PM
:( Text from last night should have been made for the texts I sent in college. I was such a douche about it. I'd hang out with a girl and make out with her then text her while drunk 'I think you are the one for me" then restraining order. Hmm nothing else happened in between the text and restraining order, I swear.
At least you said something about it to her. Better than my usual routine of not saying anything when I like a girl, leads nowhere.

kalbears13
03-07-2010, 01:52 PM
http://www.pineapple.com.hk/blog/ignatius/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/movie-when-harry-met-sally11.jpg

Ladder Theory

PS I ****ing hate the "F" word. It should be replaced in the dictionary with "let's never talk again."

ShutDwn
03-07-2010, 02:01 PM
PS I ****ing hate the "F" word. It should be replaced in the dictionary with "let's never talk again."

Yea. Nowadays I think that let's be friends really means lets stay friends on facebook but never talk to each other again.

Addict
03-07-2010, 02:08 PM
My life story. My best girl friends are girls I either dated or professed my love to them via drunk texts in college. I am too nice of a guy at times Yes I am not a man *****.

I feel your pain. Of my four best friends, three are girls and two of those I never even came close to kissing. With one there was a near miss.

The worst thing is my gf does not mind me sleeping over at all. I'm that sexually non-threatening.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
03-07-2010, 02:12 PM
Are we talking like at the time? Or ever? I think it's possible to one day be friends with them. Once the feeling goes away, it can happen. But it isn't a good idea as long as you still have feelings for them, because each time you see them you start to like them more and more and it's just gonna make it worse when you fully realise it's time to give up.

iowatreat54
03-07-2010, 02:14 PM
A friend of mine said she will only date guys she's been friends with before.


Boosh. Mind blown.

kalbears13
03-07-2010, 02:19 PM
A friend of mine said she will only date guys she's been friends with before.


Boosh. Mind blown.

That's got to be a mind-**** for whatever guy gets with her.

The Unseen
03-07-2010, 02:21 PM
A friend of mine said she will only date guys she's been friends with before.


Boosh. Mind blown.

Ladder theory just shat bricks

Shane P. Hallam
03-07-2010, 02:25 PM
http://breaklamps.com/home/index.php/2010/02/you-want-out-of-friend-zone-smash-the-homies/

VoteLynnSwan
03-07-2010, 03:06 PM
http://www.pineapple.com.hk/blog/ignatius/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/movie-when-harry-met-sally11.jpg

Ladder Theory

PS I ****ing hate the "F" word. It should be replaced in the dictionary with "let's never talk again."

i was gonna comment on that movie... And no, definitely not. One of the parties always wants it to be something more. That's just nature.

Addict
03-07-2010, 03:12 PM
i was gonna comment on that movie... And no, definitely not. One of the parties always wants it to be something more. That's just nature.

I beg to differ.

AntoinCD
03-07-2010, 03:27 PM
It depends. If you just want to **** them because they're hot then yeah you can stay friends but it's best to tell them so it doesn't get weird. Then you can always say 'if you don't get any tonight and I don't either then we could sort each other out'. It's sweet. Now if you actually have strong feelings for a girl then friendship is just not going to work out. You'll just end up not trying to pull girls when your out with her and hate anyone she ever goes out with.

thule
03-07-2010, 04:07 PM
As a ladder theoryologist No. Idk if you are familiar with it...but definitely spend some time and wiki the ladder theory. Great information in there.

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

http://ladderwiki.com/w/images/6/6d/Womansladder.jpg

The first thing to notice here is that a woman has not one, but two ladders. This is because in addition to the normal ladder, a woman also has a friends ladder. The friends ladder is where a woman puts guys that she considers "just friends". More to the point where she puts guys who don't get to have sex with her.
The problem arises because a woman never lets a guy know which ladder he is on. Obviously there is a huge difference, or gap between these two ladders. It is in this gap that kisses of death are delivered and intellectual whores are made. All a man can do is "go for it" and make a move on a girl; ask her out, try to kiss her, write her a love note or whatever. If he's on the good ladder fine. If he is on the friends ladder this is a case of ladder jumping. The man is trying to jump the gap from the friends ladder to the real ladder. The girl has two choices at this point: she can let him on the ladder and all is well, or, more likely, she can kick him in the head, and off the ladder. If you look you'll see that below the ladder is the Abyss (what was it Nietzsche said about a man being on a rope stretched over an Abyss?....well it's worse than he thought; there is no rope.) So the man falls into the Abyss. The Abyss isn't really as bad as it sounds. Mostly it's a period of self-loathing, embarrassment, and of course utter awkwardness with the girl in question if they are talking at all.
To fully illustrate the point I'll now examine some common scenarios and their ladder theory explanations. For purposes of these examples Tom will be our boy and Jane will be our girl.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start hanging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to kiss her. Jane tells Tom she doesn't think of him that way and she wants to remain friends. The next few weeks contact between the two falls off. Jane starts ******* an outlaw biker.
Ladder Theory Explanation: Tom met Jane. Tom was immediately placed on the friends ladder. Tom didn't know this. Tom tried to jump ladders. Jane kicked Tom in the head rather than let him on and sent him hurtling to the Abyss below. The oulaw biker was not on her friends ladder (they never are) but rather on her good ladder.

Scenario 2: Tom meets Jane. She's cute and seems smart. After an appropriate amount of time he asks her out on a date. She acccepts and they have what seems to be a perfectly nice date. Tom thinks he has a chance with Jane. He asks her out again. She says no, either explicitly or by never returning his phone call. Tom has no idea what the Hell just happened. Jane starts ******* an unemployed alcoholic.
Ladder Theory Explanation: Jane misrepresented which ladder Tom was on. He thought he was on the good ladder because of her acceptance of the date. Mistake. This led to an unintentional ladder jump. He was kicked into the Abyss. In this situation, Jane often wants to stay friends because you are so interesting and funny or some **** like that. If this happens you are most likely an Intellectual *****. I'm sorry. This is most likely to be a ninja-*****.

Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:
"You're like a brother to me"
"You're like a big teddy bear"
"I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
"You're so nice"
"Can you help me with my homework"
Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.

http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Original_Ladder_Theory

thule
03-07-2010, 04:08 PM
You'll note that a man has one ladder while a female has two. The man is lacking a "friends ladder." The man's ladder reflects the conventional wisdom that a man generally only wants one thing. That's because the conventional wisdom is correct. This leads us back to the conclusion that many women I have explained this to find so distasteful:
IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS
Many women want to argue this point and say things like "I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:
The guy is ***
The guy does not find you attractive.
The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder
Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:
1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. Comply
Remember this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.

from ladderwiki

scottyboy
03-07-2010, 04:31 PM
one of my best friends is a girl who I told her I pretty much loved early in high school but she didn't feel the same, but we're still like best friends. she still knows I want to bone the **** out of her, but somehow she doesn't care and we're still really really good friends. Exception to the rule?

CJSchneider
03-07-2010, 04:33 PM
I'd say so. Good luck on the boning part though.

scottyboy
03-07-2010, 04:46 PM
I'd say so. Good luck on the boning part though.

Oh I've long gotten over the fact that won't happen, but she's cool about it. I mean I grab her ass all the time like it's no big deal haha.
It's just the worst when I'm the one she tells about all her guy troubles and all the dudes she's banged and I'm just like... *sigh*

CJSchneider
03-07-2010, 04:47 PM
Never say never, stranger **** has happened.

Brent
03-07-2010, 05:06 PM
It's just the worst when I'm the one she tells about all her guy troubles and all the dudes she's banged and I'm just like... *sigh*
If she does that tell her you dont give a **** about that.

OSUGiants17
03-07-2010, 05:08 PM
I hate when this happens

Bills2083
03-07-2010, 05:21 PM
If I find a girl to be attractive, or I like her I dont go to the whole friend thing, I pretty much just start flirting and making moves. The second you start doing overly nice things you become the "friend" which will never work out.


I had this exact conversation with a friend of mine the other night.
If you are friends then you're basically out of a shot to date her.

TitanHope
03-07-2010, 06:14 PM
Thule just blew my mind... I mean, I've always known that, and have tried to explain it to girls who I've had failed relationships with who ask me, "Can we still be friends?" and I'm like, "Haha, no..." and they're like, "Well, why not? We were friends before we went out." and I'm like, "Um, not really." and they don't understand. But now I have that **** on paper!

SickwithIt1010
03-07-2010, 06:15 PM
Girls are dumb...its so hard to be friends if you have feelings for them, because as soon as you tell them, it either ruins your friendship, or just makes it awkward forever.

I have this girl that is my "Best friend", but ill be honest...i like her....and shes kinda like that girl that you can see yourself marrying because you guys are so close...well i suggested the whole being more than friends thing, and seeing if we could make it work out this summer, and well....ive talked to her maybe 5 or 6 times since then, because girls idk.....dumb lol

wogitalia
03-07-2010, 11:09 PM
You'll note that a man has one ladder while a female has two. The man is lacking a "friends ladder." The man's ladder reflects the conventional wisdom that a man generally only wants one thing. That's because the conventional wisdom is correct. This leads us back to the conclusion that many women I have explained this to find so distasteful:
IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS
Many women want to argue this point and say things like "I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:
The guy is ***
The guy does not find you attractive.
The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder
Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:
1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. Comply
Remember this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.

This...


one of my best friends is a girl who I told her I pretty much loved early in high school but she didn't feel the same, but we're still like best friends. she still knows I want to bone the **** out of her, but somehow she doesn't care and we're still really really good friends. Exception to the rule?

Given the first quote... Do we go with *** or that you are already with someone higher on the ladder which allows the friendship to still work :) I guess she just knows that you will always have more love for Ray and that she can always defer to him if it gets awkward ;)

I have a "friend" who is a girl and also one of my best mates sisters. It takes the awkward thing to new levels. Like some mystery 3rd ladder floating in there, worse is that I am sort of hanging on that third ladder in that I'm pretty sure she is DTF but also that she considers me a friend and that the mate is basically all that is stopping the disaster that would be us actually going through with it. She is a nice girl and all, but she isn't very bright and she is kind of annoying, as in I know there would be no longterm and it would just **** **** up in all directions. She also has pretty awful taste in guys, which might explain why she would be DTF me :).

As for the original question... I think there are exceptions. I will still be friends if they are above an 8.5, as in they have wifey looks because I know a lot of people(my older brothers friends) who basically end up with their friends because as people age they sort of mature and realise that the same things that make for good friends make for good partners but I'm still not a big fan. Pretty much all my close female friends are girls I have no interest in sleeping with which keeps it safe.

Kramer
03-07-2010, 11:24 PM
I have a few friends that are girls that are good looking that I am fine being just friends with and its not too much of a problem, except with two situations.

I met a girl this summer who I really didn’t have that much interest in for a while because she had a boyfriend and she is way too good looking, but she’s not intimidating in anyway, shes really friendly and outgoing. I was good friends with her for a while, then when she was single we started hanging out more and my friend thought that she might have wanted me. Well I tried making a move for her one night but she was interested in someone else. A few months later my first time seeing her since then we met up in NYC and one night hanged out purely as friends then I tried putting the move on again the next night to her surprise, and she gave me the “I like you too much as a friend.” It was probably the most upset I have ever been over a girl because I liked her a lot, took me months to get over it. We still stay in good contact and can easily still be “just friends”.

I also had another case with one girl who I was friends with, but I wanted more with her and when I made my move she made things really awkward, told me she wasn’t over her ex who she dated for 2 years, then I heard rumors of her hooking up with this other guy, I confronted her about it she denied it and got mad at me then the next week I saw them together, called her out on her lies, and we haven’t talked since and I hate her guts.

PalmerToCJ
03-07-2010, 11:28 PM
I have this argument all the time.

It's impossible to just be friends with a girl. I'm not friends with a single girl that I don't find attractive. I don't want to date all of them for whatever reasons but I would still get busy with them.

The lone exception is my friends girlfriends, they automatically get put in 'sister' zone, no matter how hot they are. The lone exception being if I knew them an extended period before them becoming an item with one of my friends, in which case they are somewhat grandfathered into 'i still think they're hot' zone.

It's pretty simple really. The real question is, do any of you have a girl that is a closer friend who you don't find attractive?

eaglesalltheway
03-07-2010, 11:42 PM
As a rule, no, but there are exceptions.

My last relationship was with a girl who I cared about, but thought there was no way in hell I was on the right ladder. I even got the whole "teddy bear" remark and the "best friend" schpiel, so I figured I had a snowball's shot in hell, honestly. But eventually it came down to it after a while and I asked her if it was even a possibility, and she said she was wondering when I'd ask.

Moral to the story (as if everyone didn't already know this): Women are confusing as ****.

Canadian_kid16
03-07-2010, 11:54 PM
I'm friends with my ex and the first girl I ever admitted to crushing on (friends as in I don't want to **** them at all). Does that count?

eaglesalltheway
03-07-2010, 11:58 PM
I'm friends with my ex and the first girl I ever admitted to crushing on (friends as in I don't want to **** them at all). Does that count?

Depends on what your situation is, have you had other women that have stayed higher on your ladder since the breakup? If so, that may not count.

Kramer
03-07-2010, 11:59 PM
I am also so prone to getting into the “Friends Zone” with girls, sucks.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:00 AM
This thread made me think about my ladder's current situation. Without getting into too much detail, its a ****** up situation, or separate set of situations, lol.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:04 AM
I am also so prone to getting into the “Friends Zone” with girls, sucks.

In terms of the whole friend zone thing, I am the same way, mostly because I'm "the nice guy" who actually treats women well. (That and, to be honest, I am not a very attractive man) I have just as many, if not more, female friends than I do males. And of my closest friends, it is pretty even in terms of the male/female ratio. I have broken free of the friend zone, but it is a rare occurance. If you feel strongly enough, don't give up on it, you may get lucky like I did.

Don't be dissapointed if you fail though, lol, as I said before, I wasn't expecting success, lol.

Kramer
03-08-2010, 12:14 AM
Haha, I tried getting out of the friendszone once, did not work out, our friendship meant too much to her.

MetSox17
03-08-2010, 12:14 AM
If i'm into a girl, i would never, ever, EVER, in any situation, listen to **** about her banging other dudes. There's a line you gotta draw, and mine says if you aren't into me like i am into you, i'm not listening to you babble about some guy that took you home and didn't call you back. Unless you're a sadist, in which case go right ahead.

The Unseen
03-08-2010, 12:16 AM
Wait, does this include girls that we are friends with that we would like date but are currently in a serious relationship? Cause I've got one of those.

Kramer
03-08-2010, 12:16 AM
Yeah I hate hearing that. The same girl who I keep talking about anytime I see that shes with a guy or whatever it pisses me off. She knows it, and I always make fun of her about it in a friendly way just to be funny and she finds it amusing.

SwagU
03-08-2010, 12:20 AM
I am also so prone to getting into the “Friends Zone” with girls, sucks.

The dreaded Friend Zone. If you have the intentions of boning a girl, you have to establish that right off the bat to avoid it going that route. If you are to friendly and caring, you will come off as just a friend. I have been talking to this girl lately and she has a on and off BF. My friend who sits with us in class was too friendly and caring in the getting to know her part that she officially said to me he is in the friend zone. As for me on the other hand I was friendly enough to seem like a good guy, but I constantly flirted with her and it kept me in the Dateable Zone. She said to this other guy in our class that my friend was the one that doesen't have a shot. Golden rule guys make a move early and flirt your ass off.

Kramer
03-08-2010, 12:23 AM
Yeah I don’t have the cocky attitude type game needed to show girls that I wanna **** them rather then be friends with them. I even managed to get in the friends zone with this girl I hooked up with recently and barely even knew before. Majority of my friends are guys but I do manage to get myself in the friendszone with girls easily, or they hate me.

I’m just banking on girls getting more mature as I get older and realize that you can’t be only just friends with someone, and all that.

Bengalsrocket
03-08-2010, 12:25 AM
If a girl doesn't want any part of you, outside of rape, you're not going to close the deal.

But if she's even slightly into you, "friend zone" or not, it's never impossible.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:31 AM
If i'm into a girl, i would never, ever, EVER, in any situation, listen to **** about her banging other dudes. There's a line you gotta draw, and mine says if you aren't into me like i am into you, i'm not listening to you babble about some guy that took you home and didn't call you back. Unless you're a sadist, in which case go right ahead.

I can't even fathom why anybody who is seriously interested in a woman would want to hear about that. Why do that to yourself? lol

SwagU
03-08-2010, 12:32 AM
It's not about the game as it is establishing a flirtatious relationship. Plus I would not describe the attitude in the game as cocky, girls hate cocky dudes. It's more about having charisma, to draw that girl in.

dolphinfan2k5
03-08-2010, 12:33 AM
I’m just banking on girls getting more mature as I get older and realize that you can’t be only just friends with someone, and all that.

Yes, because that is clearly the more mature viewpoint.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:34 AM
Wait, does this include girls that we are friends with that we would like date but are currently in a serious relationship? Cause I've got one of those.

Yea, I'd say so. That's exactly what my last relationship was, and to complicate that situation even more her previous relationship was with a good friend of mine, but that is a whole other predicament.

MetSox17
03-08-2010, 12:35 AM
I can't even fathom why anybody who is seriously interested in a woman would want to hear about that. Why do that to yourself? lol

That's what i'm saying. I've had that situation where a girl trusted me, and loved spending time with me, but didn't want me as a boyfriend, and i was cool with it. One day we were watching a movie at my house, the next i stopped texting/calling her and i haven't spoken to her in two months. ***** ain't hurting me. I'm sure she misses my friendship a lot more than i miss hers.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:36 AM
It's not about the game as it is establishing a flirtatious relationship. Plus I would not describe the attitude in the game as cocky, girls hate cocky dudes. It's more about having charisma, to draw that girl in.

So in essence, don't be like your avi, lol.

As with anything involving women, it depends on the woman, but you gotta have confidence (not cockiness, like you said) and it has to be obvious you are interested. You're already 90% there if you have those set.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 12:43 AM
That's what i'm saying. I've had that situation where a girl trusted me, and loved spending time with me, but didn't want me as a boyfriend, and i was cool with it. One day we were watching a movie at my house, the next i stopped texting/calling her and i haven't spoken to her in two months. ***** ain't hurting me. I'm sure she misses my friendship a lot more than i miss hers.

Sucks for her, that's all I can say, I've been there too. I'm perfectly fine with being freinds with a woman, but I don't want to hear bout her business, just like she wouldn't want to hear about mine. Its a matter of respect. I don't talk with my guy friends about my girlfriend in bed, so why would I tell another woman? I've come to realize I am terribly old fashioned for today's standard though.

Vikes99ej
03-08-2010, 12:58 AM
No, no, no, no, no. Just my opinion, but as soon as I realize I'm not gonna get anywhere I'm gonezo

vikes_28
03-08-2010, 12:58 PM
I hate the friend-zone. Got it all the time in high school. "oh, I want to get to know you cause I want to be friends, not cause I want to date you."

"Sorry, you're not my type, we can be friends though."

"I see you as a brother, and it would be weird if I dated my brother."

**** YOU

All that a guy has heard at least once in his life.

CC.SD
03-08-2010, 01:07 PM
Even the title of this thread is depressing.

For a while I was 'friends' with an ex girlfriend, aka the most horrific experience in the world. Cutting ties is a must.

diabsoule
03-08-2010, 05:37 PM
Even the title of this thread is depressing.

For a while I was 'friends' with an ex girlfriend, aka the most horrific experience in the world. Cutting ties is a must.

I'm trying not to be friends with an ex even though she texts me out of the blue a lot and asks me if I'm dating anyone and then tells me she's in a serious relationship. Talk about make me feel like a dog's ass.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 06:29 PM
I'm trying not to be friends with an ex even though she texts me out of the blue a lot and asks me if I'm dating anyone and then tells me she's in a serious relationship. Talk about make me feel like a dog's ass.

The line has been drawn, and she has crossed it. Cease all communication, it really is for the best.

CJSchneider
03-08-2010, 07:03 PM
The line has been drawn, and she has crossed it. Cease all communication, it really is for the best.

Grudge **** her for old times sake, then proceed as "waffles" has advised.

sbh15
03-08-2010, 07:22 PM
IMO you have to go into the friendship with absolutely no intention of dating the girl.

Although, usually you don't befriend ugly girls on a whim, and if the girl is attractive, most non-******** guys would have no problem eventually getting with the girl, so that's a hard thing to do.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 07:23 PM
Grudge **** her for old times sake, then proceed as "waffles" has advised.

I hope I'm half as smart as you when I reach your age. Check that. I wish I get to reach your age... lol

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 07:23 PM
IMO you have to go into the friendship with absolutely no intention of dating the girl.

If you do that though, are you only fooling yourself?

Brent
03-08-2010, 07:27 PM
IMO you have to go into the friendship with absolutely no intention of dating the girl.
or they are dating your friend, which makes then off limits anyway

prock
03-08-2010, 07:29 PM
I ******* hate girls. They always pull friend card ****. Lead you on and BOOM, friend card.

wogitalia
03-08-2010, 07:40 PM
It is pretty obvious from this thread that absolutely every guy in here has been burned by the friend card at least once.

eaglesalltheway
03-08-2010, 07:41 PM
It is pretty obvious from this thread that absolutely every guy in here has been burned by the friend card at least once.

Just about every guy over the age of 15 has had that happen to them, not just on here, lol. I can't tell you how many outstanding friend cards I have, lol.

CJSchneider
03-08-2010, 07:42 PM
Or at least an ugly break-up (it's were I got the grudge **** idea from)

edit: I take it back - THAT *****!

sbh15
03-08-2010, 07:56 PM
or they are dating your friend, which makes then off limits anyway

This too, it's actually the case with one of my best girl friends.

diabsoule
03-08-2010, 08:35 PM
Grudge **** her for old times sake, then proceed as "waffles" has advised.

I would but there is no way to grudge **** her. Just absolutely no way.

BRAVEHEART
03-08-2010, 08:43 PM
***** just activated her friend card.

http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/duelevolutionbackup/TeaGardner.png

eaglesalltheway
03-09-2010, 11:58 AM
I would but there is no way to grudge **** her. Just absolutely no way.

Then just eliminate her from your life, cut all ties and then proceeed with your life.

CJSchneider
03-09-2010, 12:00 PM
I would but there is no way to grudge **** her. Just absolutely no way.

Oh, she likes it rough, does she!

ATLDirtyBirds
03-09-2010, 04:26 PM
or they are dating your friend, which makes then off limits anyway


The absolute worst.

CC.SD
03-09-2010, 04:41 PM
I just want to know who waffles is.

ps the #1 way to recover from being friend carded is to eat only salad and chicken for 2-3 months while working out vigorously, including running in the morning.

IndyColtScout
03-09-2010, 04:49 PM
Here is the answer, show her your ding dong. If it's big, she will let you ladder jump. Normal will get you slapped, and acorns will get you laughed at.

nrk
03-09-2010, 04:52 PM
The absolute worst.

The worst is getting the "I love you like a brother" line, then she dates and marries your brother.

CJSchneider
03-09-2010, 05:07 PM
I just want to know who waffles is.


Waffles is Eagles All The Way

He tells the story better - I'll let him explain.

ATLDirtyBirds
03-09-2010, 06:23 PM
The worst is getting the "I love you like a brother" line, then she dates and marries your brother.


I imagine that must not be good. Basically, I've had a situation where there is an undeniable connection, but can't make a move seeing as she's with one of my closest friends. It kind of works though because tying myself down to one person does not generally work.

Brent
03-09-2010, 06:46 PM
He tells the story better - I'll let him explain.
he pooped on someone's laptop keyboard, then shut said laptop.

CJSchneider
03-09-2010, 07:08 PM
he pooped on someone's laptop keyboard, then shut said laptop.

Like a guy who had the trouble he had getting his likeness uploaded to the webz is going to go near a laptop.

No, the acronym of his name "EATW" made a fellow poster (not me) think of the phrase "Eat waffles". The "waffles" is the only part that stuck as so far as a nickname.

nrk
03-09-2010, 07:28 PM
I imagine that must not be good. Basically, I've had a situation where there is an undeniable connection, but can't make a move seeing as she's with one of my closest friends. It kind of works though because tying myself down to one person does not generally work.

It wasn't at first, but I'm happy for them now. I also have an awesome nephew from it. But yeah, that's a ****** situation too. Good thing you're a good friend. My friend's ex cheated on him with his friend, and now has dated 3 more of his friends since. I've been in the middle of another situation like that, minus the girl keep dating his friends. Experiences like that show you who are real friends.

Brent
03-09-2010, 09:07 PM
Like a guy who had the trouble he had getting his likeness uploaded to the webz is going to go near a laptop.

No, the acronym of his name "EATW" made a fellow poster (not me) think of the phrase "Eat waffles". The "waffles" is the only part that stuck as so far as a nickname.
what I described is a poop prank called "waffling"

CJSchneider
03-09-2010, 09:10 PM
I know, I was taking the oppurtunity to get a jab in.

eaglesalltheway
03-09-2010, 11:07 PM
So while I was out, this became the "derivative of why CJ calls EATW waffles thread".... CJ pretty much took care of it. I think it was Bos who did it on IRC... not sure though.

XxXdragonXxX
03-10-2010, 12:17 AM
one of my best friends is a girl who I told her I pretty much loved early in high school but she didn't feel the same, but we're still like best friends. she still knows I want to bone the **** out of her, but somehow she doesn't care and we're still really really good friends. Exception to the rule?

I had a friend like this for a while, she only wanted to talk when things weren't going good...whenever she got in a fight with her dumbass boyfriend she'd text me...then we didnt talk for a while...then she broke up with her dumbass boyfriend and texted me because she "needed someone to talk to." 24 hours later she was back with her dumbass boyfriend and wouldnt respond to my texts. I decided she was a complete idiot and I didn't want to see or talk to her ever again. On Christmas she texted me "Merry Christmas" I had to ask who it was because I deleted her # out of my phone. Long story short I called her a whoredyke which was her dumbass boyfriend's "pet name" for her before they started dating. Oh, I found out via myspace that she broke up with her dumbass boyfriend yesterday, which I find hilarious. Of course if she texted me saying she wanted to **** I'd hit it and never talk to her again.

CJSchneider
03-10-2010, 05:38 AM
Of course if she texted me saying she wanted to **** I'd hit it and never talk to her again.

No doubt, that's "Man-law".

619
03-10-2010, 07:46 AM
So while I was out, this became the "derivative of why CJ calls EATW waffles thread".... CJ pretty much took care of it. I think it was Bos who did it on IRC... not sure though.

You know that nickname is gonna stick now, right? ;)

CJSchneider
03-10-2010, 09:52 AM
Don't mention it...

http://sidowsky83.com/images/donkey_shrek.jpg
Waffles!

Prowler
03-10-2010, 10:50 AM
prowler's guide to understanding women (sexist but true)

this isn't directed at anybody in particular, but just general rules/advice so please don't anybody take this personally because i didn't fully read the other posts in this thread. this is just a generalized guide and not meant for any one poster, but for every man in the english speaking world.

there are exceptions to every rule, and if you know somebody who is above all of these things, then good for you. you probably live on the moon or the girl is out of your league.

1. women are helpless and horrible at making correct decisions.

this is not their fault. chances are they have not had to work at a single thing in their lives. guys endlessly throw themselves at them with little effort on their part. chivalry is cute but also a curse. fathers don't beat their daughters and drag them up out of bed at 4am to build a fence or manual labor. even if they have managed straight As, study 12 hours a day, and get screwed over by discriminating employers upon graduation(my gf had 3.9 college GPA but lost out on jobs to guys with 2.9GPA with no internships); they will never have faced the amount of competition guys have been subjected to in life. when challenged they generally will cry and wait for somebody else to resolve the problem....

2. the man's role in a relationship is to lead, the girls is to be thankful to be with the man and be in a supportive role. your indecisiveness and begging for a woman's attention will always lead to her saying, ''love you like a brother, please hold the camera while some other guy does me.'' it almost doesn't matter if you dress like hitler, women respect power and achievement. since women have no clue what they are doing, they will respect the fact that you've made a choice and have a direction.

3. women want it as bad as you do. chances are women only think about sex 1/2 as much as you do....which good news, that is still a lot.

4. upon realizing that 1) women lack the competitive drive to make good decisions, 2) look for someone with purpose to attach themselves to, 3) realizing that they want it as bad as you, then you can ask for the sale. 1st rule of selling (products, yourself, whatever) is that you should never be afraid to ask for the sale. the results of you saying, ''hey lets make out and see where this goes,'' only has two directions it can go; awkward or making out. it can't be any worse than awkwardly sitting on the couch and then having the girl think that you are gutless and then going out and doing your best friend.

if anybody is offended by this then prove me wrong or i'll just make a prowler's guide to men...which would be awkward.

in conclusion my advise would be to say whatever you want to say and not worry about the consequences. would you like to be a 40 year old virgin and look back to this moment as the one chance you had for someone you loved? don't hold back and you won't have regrets. you will only get better with practice. even if you fail this time, then chances are you'll be better suited to handle the next situation. if you want a trial run with talking to girls, then cruise by internet chat sites and try and pick up random strangers. see what works and what turns them off. with internet chicks you can be as dickish as you want without any real consequence.

with that said, i don't recommend being a dick, just be yourself, but communicate yourself effectively. if you want to be sweet then try, ''listen I know i'm not ________(brad pitt), but i like you and the idea of you being with somebody else drives me insane and makes me want to a better man. i want to be worth you and i know what i need to do to make that happen. if you want to know love and purpose in life then be with me.''

if you can say that without your voice cracking or choking up then you can probably have half a chance of living up to that standard you just laid out to her. just have a plan without being too clingy or obsessed. (no marriage or life goals)

also, it's always worked for me to mention something that demonstrates personal maturity. for example, tell her that the worst evil in the world is cowardice. picture a father who yells at his crying daughter and then walks out. he pauses at the door and then for that moment he considers going back and reassuring his crying daughter and apologizing. however due to hesitancy and cowardice he shuts the door and walks out. these types of situations happen daily and in every aspect of life. its what you do when tested in thise situations that determines you worth as a man. its a very real and direct situation and depending on how you explain your thoughts on the situation, she could end up thinking the world of you and actually trusting and believing that you offer something special that no other man can offer. its just one thing you can do to give her something to think of when she thinks of you.

619
03-10-2010, 10:58 AM
Prowler, you are the ******* man. I actually agreed with 95% of what you said.

The Unseen
03-10-2010, 11:13 AM
yay sexism :/

619
03-10-2010, 11:15 AM
yay sexism :/

I guess I'm sexist as well..

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:16 AM
You know that nickname is gonna stick now, right? ;)

There are much worse thing to be called, who wouldn't want to be thought of when they are enjoying a delicious breakfast...

The Unseen
03-10-2010, 11:19 AM
I guess I'm sexist as well..

"1. women are helpless and horrible at making correct decisions."
"2. the man's role in a relationship is to lead, the girls is to be thankful to be with the man and be in a supportive role."

yep.

619
03-10-2010, 11:21 AM
"1. women are helpless and horrible at making correct decisions."
"2. the man's role in a relationship is to lead, the girls is to be thankful to be with the man and be in a supportive role."

yep.

That's why I said I agreed with 95% of it. :)

The Unseen
03-10-2010, 11:22 AM
well those are the premises of like 2/3 of his post. the end sounds good.

nrk
03-10-2010, 11:22 AM
"1. women are helpless and horrible at making correct decisions."
"2. the man's role in a relationship is to lead, the girls is to be thankful to be with the man and be in a supportive role."

yep.

Don't forget: "when challenged they generally will cry and wait for somebody else to resolve the problem...."

lol talk about sexist.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:23 AM
Prowler...
Re-write this so it can be published.
Publish and copywrite it.

PROFIT!

ElectricEye
03-10-2010, 11:28 AM
EbH3bAvTYjg

Can't believe this hasn't been posted. Seriously d00ds? Five pages?

Also, Prowler and Ladder theory is all very true in my experience. There are girls that don't play by those rules, but they are so god damned rare and you usually have to get to them first.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:30 AM
EbH3bAvTYjg

Can't believe this hasn't been posted. Seriously d00ds? Five pages?

Also, Prowler and Ladder theory is all very true in my experience. There are girls that don't play by those rules, but they are so god damned rare and you usually have to get to them first.

In my life, I have only ever run across one confirmed instance of this, lol.

619
03-10-2010, 11:31 AM
well those are the premises of like 2/3 of his post. the end sounds good.

I agreed with the premise of what he was saying, given his perspective, but at the same time didn't take it very seriously at all. I thought it was a humorous, yet intriguing post with a few points that he seemed to have really nailed down on the subject matter. It's stuff you realize after the fact, but don't always think about. It's not stuff I'd go tell my female friends either.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:33 AM
I agreed with the premise of what he was saying, given his perspective, but at the same time didn't take it very seriously at all. I thought it was a humorous, yet intriguing post with a few points that he seemed to have really nailed down on the subject matter. It's stuff you realize after the fact, but don't always think about. It's not stuff I'd go tell my female friends either.

This is exactly what I thought, as I was reading that post, it brought back specific memories in each different point he made.

And it goes without saying not to tell your female friends.

ElectricEye
03-10-2010, 11:33 AM
In my life, I have only ever run across one confirmed instance of this, lol.

I've gotten two. But I was the first real dude in any of those girls lives. Well, with one of them anyway. Actually, I got Biz Markied' with the first one. I do have the advantage of going for shy girls with glasses though. Works out really well for me.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:38 AM
I've gotten two. But I was the first real dude in any of those girls lives. Well, with one of them anyway. Actually, I got Biz Markied' with the first one. I do have the advantage of going for shy girls with glasses though. Works out really well for me.

Well it depends on how you view it. I had a girl friend that was just a friend, but Eventually it came down to it and we ended up having sex. I don't count that one, because it was just a small fling. The one I refer to was my last relationship, where I fully ladder jumped. So depending on your definition of ladder jumping, I have two, but I say only one.

CJSchneider
03-10-2010, 11:41 AM
Well it depends on how you view it. I had a girl friend that was just a friend, but Eventually it came down to it and we ended up having sex. I don't count that one, because she was my cousin.

Fixed it for you.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 11:47 AM
Fixed it for you.

No you didn't :(.

Prowler
03-10-2010, 11:53 AM
i fully realize that i am sexist and i tend to fully agree with gerard butler from the ugly truth. with that being said don't get me wrong, i would saw my arm off for a 50 year old plain looking woman if it meant saving her life, and i am fairly romantic. however, i would rather be loathed and truthful with people, than loved and reserved. please don't disregard what i said completely, but just leave it in the back of you mind and adapt accordingly. each woman has the potential to be different, but there is a basic mainstream ideology and approved way of thinking that leads to both women and men being fairly predictable.

so yes don't tell the females, but i'm willing to be the bad guy in this situation if it means enlightenment to my fellow man. i've witnessed my mom work 3 jobs for me, heard she had an abortion before i was born, and was also potentially raped. so women do have hard lives and are tested at times, but not daily and 95% aren't to that extent.

with every girlfriend i've ever had, they would always cry and hold grudges for weeks unless i solved the problem, confronted them, or eased her mind. so when i say that a man's role is to lead.....well the consequences of him not leading are what lead to problems.

CJSchneider
03-10-2010, 12:08 PM
http://images5.cafepress.com/product/116558235v2_480x480_Front_Color-White.jpg

The Unseen
03-10-2010, 12:08 PM
i would saw my arm off for a 50 year old plain looking woman if it meant saving her life, and i am fairly romantic.That's not a saving grace. Chivalry is as much sexist as anything else. Ever heard of a "prized possession"?

Okay, you've admitted twice you're sexist anyways, but my point is that that is not even close to being a positive thing in your favor.

Prowler
03-10-2010, 12:16 PM
who says i have to be positive? i am an ***hole with the way i think about women. i treat them outstandingly, but knowing is half the battle. i don't need a saving grace. being yourself is one of the keys to happiness. its not about lying to chicks, its about removing the barriers to you having them.

LonghornsLegend
03-10-2010, 12:19 PM
Yea I could be just friends, but that's because I want to be as close as possible until she wants to have sex one night just because she's comfortable around you, or realizes you really would be good for her. So to an extent no, I can't be "just friends", because I'd just want to be friends and wait for the day we eventually had sex I just wouldn't act like it. I feel like eventually that night will come, whether she's drunk, or horny, or you just catch her on the right night when she's down for some casual sex, it'll happen.



Other then that, all my female friends who are strictly good friends nothing more I'm nowhere close to being attracted to, but the fine ones it doesn't bother me to play the friend role waiting for the dude she talks to to screw her over.

CC.SD
03-10-2010, 12:35 PM
http://images5.cafepress.com/product/116558235v2_480x480_Front_Color-White.jpg

Waffles all the way. I want this teddy bear.

eaglesalltheway
03-10-2010, 04:05 PM
http://images5.cafepress.com/product/116558235v2_480x480_Front_Color-White.jpg
I'm hoping you shopped that, if not, its the best stuffed animal ever.
Waffles all the way. I want this teddy bear.

Now what happens if a girl comes up to you and says, "I want this teddy bear"? Have her ladders just crashed together? lol