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steelernation77
03-18-2010, 10:52 AM
"I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp"

http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-james-does-not-disappoint-with-her-tiger-sext-messages

They get a lot nastier so just a forewarning.

tjsunstein
03-18-2010, 10:53 AM
Tiger inventing sexting.

tjsunstein
03-18-2010, 11:01 AM
These were my favorite. The last few.

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl

Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously

Tiger:Sent: 11:31 AM 10/04/2009:
This has been a total **** trip. Im sorry i ****** up last night. And this ****. We will get it right next time so we can spend more time together.

Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything

Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't ******* talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, ****

EdReedUnstoppable
03-18-2010, 11:08 AM
Tiger Woods is the ******* man!!!

Scotty D
03-18-2010, 11:11 AM
What an idiot..try cheating with some classy hoes next time

steelernation77
03-18-2010, 11:13 AM
I personally liked the ones about butt sex.

Brodeur
03-18-2010, 11:13 AM
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Now I'm turned on.

steelernation77
03-18-2010, 11:16 AM
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Now I'm turned on.

Ha, wow, didn't see those. Classic.

Addict
03-18-2010, 11:17 AM
I personally liked the ones about butt sex.

Ah yes, his true love.

I enjoyed reading Tiger likes his dick to be 'earned'.

Also: a lot of ass to mouth references.

tjsunstein
03-18-2010, 11:18 AM
Of course she did everything. She's in porn.

JFLO
03-18-2010, 11:32 AM
No turkey, unless it's a club sandwich

LizardState
03-18-2010, 11:45 AM
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't ******* talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, ****

Tiger should have saved that msg. in his blackberry buffer to c&p to his other 15-17 hoes Elin found on his cell. Before preferably, not after.....:rolleyes:

The Unseen
03-18-2010, 01:34 PM
lololololololololol

ElectricEye
03-18-2010, 01:50 PM
Tiger Woods' legendary focus is really apparent in these.

thedong
03-18-2010, 02:04 PM
Tiger Woods is my idol, the guy is the man.

I say, f-kkkk b!!!tchez and get money.

SwagU
03-18-2010, 02:10 PM
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't ******* talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, ****

Tiger should of took this as a warning that....

http://api.ning.com/files/zXU9NTjbK8U5dMOzipQNvAVwtIeZ7oQKDuQZTEd5aXc_/tiger3.jpg

slightlyaraiderfan
03-18-2010, 02:34 PM
Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
So ur sn is a perfect score? that's cute, come on down now:)

Addict
03-18-2010, 02:51 PM
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight

Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe

Tiger:Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins


fill in the answers and Tiger got peed on...

BaLLiN
03-18-2010, 03:21 PM
Tiger, wow, this is just ridiculous

DiG
03-18-2010, 03:24 PM
No turkey, unless it's a club sandwich

ha i laughed at this one too.

mqtirishfan
03-18-2010, 03:29 PM
This is why I love the internet.

ccB
03-18-2010, 06:06 PM
Tiger Woods is the ******* man!!!

Agreed. Play on player.

Addict
03-18-2010, 06:18 PM
Tiger, wow, this is just ridiculous

if by rediculous you mean insanely hot and awesome, you are correct.

BigBanger
03-18-2010, 06:22 PM
No turkey, unless it's a club sandwich

No turkey unless it's a club sandwich


******* HILARIOUS!!!!!!

K Train
03-18-2010, 06:24 PM
personal fav

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

ccB
03-18-2010, 06:24 PM
I think this one's my favorite:

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little *****. Put my **** in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Sounds like an average wednesday night in the Job/Brodeur home.

LonghornsLegend
03-18-2010, 06:42 PM
ahahahahashahahaha


http://420.thrashbarg.net/this_thread_delivers_ups_chick_amazon.jpg



LOL I had no idea some of these text were this crazy, Tiger is a fool. I can't even finish reading some of these at work.

Prowler
03-18-2010, 07:20 PM
Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little *****. Put my **** in your a** and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my f****** w****

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and **** that *** that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the **** up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

those are definitely my personal favorites

MetSox17
03-18-2010, 07:23 PM
Tiger is da man.

RoyHall#1
03-18-2010, 07:23 PM
He spells "your" wrong :/

ATLDirtyBirds
03-18-2010, 07:51 PM
of you
Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little *****. Put my **** in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my ******* *****
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and **** that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the **** up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and **** you till mercy


Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)

Tiger:Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this


My favorites. The top sequence was hilarious.

LonghornsLegend
03-18-2010, 07:59 PM
I like how once the **** started to hit the fan and he started getting caught up she started going off about how she was about to ruin his life lol and to don't ******* talk to him lmao. Tiger obviously doesn't know the rules to cheating.


If your going to cheat, it needs to be done ALL by phone conversation, on some cheap ass boost mobile from the 7-11. Text are way too easy to be saved and used as evidence the 1st time you piss her off, and the phone records could be pulled on your own cell # so you'd have to use something else.


Then again he probably wasn't giving a **** obviously, he just likes to eat club sammiches and pissing on whores out of morbid curiousity.

Job
03-18-2010, 08:23 PM
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Now I'm turned on.

What do you want to do tonight, honey?

Brodeur
03-18-2010, 08:39 PM
What do you want to do tonight, honey?

My Richard Alpert related boner is still in effect so I think we just do the usual bed stuff, unless you think that won't do.

Whistler6
03-18-2010, 08:59 PM
http://cache-06.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/500x_tigerbarclaystoilet.jpg

Tiger taking the walk of shame...Leaving the house of mistress # ___.

Addict
03-18-2010, 09:07 PM
My Richard Alpert related boner is still in effect so I think we just do the usual bed stuff, unless you think that won't do.

I'm no psychic, but I'm guessing Job is in the mood for beeds tonight.

Job
03-18-2010, 09:10 PM
My Richard Alpert related boner is still in effect so I think we just do the usual bed stuff, unless you think that won't do.

That should do. I usually like it a lot.

bored of education
03-18-2010, 09:14 PM
Sniper wood get all grammatical on his ass

Brodeur
03-18-2010, 09:17 PM
That should do. I usually like it a lot.

Good, I'm happy. I get the left side of the bed tonight though.

Wouldn't you think a dude who went to Stanford for two years would know the difference between your and you're?

Job
03-18-2010, 09:30 PM
I always prefered the right side. Being next to the window can be a bit too cold.

aNYtitan
03-18-2010, 09:37 PM
Well this is just amusing

Brodeur
03-18-2010, 09:38 PM
I always prefered the right side. Being next to the window can be a bit too cold.

That's why I always try to cuddle to warm you up.

Job
03-18-2010, 09:54 PM
I love when you do that.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
03-18-2010, 09:55 PM
Epic comment is epic.

09:45 PM (http://deadspin.com/comment/20668067)


If this feature gets cut from career mode in Tiger Woods '11, I'll be pissed. Reply (http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-james-does-not-disappoint-with-her-tiger-sext-messages#)

vikes_28
03-18-2010, 10:56 PM
This is awesome.

ElectricEye
03-18-2010, 11:09 PM
Epic comment is epic.

09:45 PM (http://deadspin.com/comment/20668067)


If this feature gets cut from career mode in Tiger Woods '11, I'll be pissed. Reply (http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-james-does-not-disappoint-with-her-tiger-sext-messages#)

Lol of lols on that one.

Also, Job and Brodeur are being cute.

CC.SD
03-19-2010, 12:27 AM
http://fi.somethingawful.com/customtitles/title-cool_kids_inc..gif

TACKLE
03-19-2010, 12:28 AM
Also, Job and Brodeur are being cute.

Cute? Is that what they call it now. ;)

yo123
03-19-2010, 12:34 AM
I lost it with the turkey one. By far the best.

descendency
03-19-2010, 03:57 AM
To be honest, those are some s***ty sexts. I've seen 12 year olds come up with better.

Oh... and South Park's episode on Tiger Woods is f***ing hilarious. I can't stop laughing about it.

CJSchneider
03-19-2010, 10:34 AM
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i *** you better start sucking my **** to get it hard


That's why Tiger Woods is American Football.

zachsaints52
03-19-2010, 11:18 AM
I don't think he did it.

A Perfect Score
03-19-2010, 11:22 AM
I don't think he did it.

Im with you. He did not have sexual relations with that woman.

zachsaints52
03-19-2010, 11:22 AM
Im with you. He did not have sexual relations with that woman.

I want a acquittal.

Addict
03-19-2010, 12:02 PM
That's why Tiger Woods is American Football.

I thought he golf?

ElectricEye
03-19-2010, 12:17 PM
http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/images/joslyn-james-tiger-woods-pic-121009-lg-82999805.jpg

Meh.

CJSchneider
03-19-2010, 03:41 PM
I thought he golf?

Obviously, he's doing it wrong.

Addict
03-19-2010, 05:24 PM
Obviously, he's doing it wrong.

he seems to be performing sub-par you mean. Cuz was hittin' birdies earlier on.

CJSchneider
03-19-2010, 05:39 PM
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/gatorade1.jpg

Gatorade

Is it deep inside you?

OSUGiants17
03-19-2010, 05:45 PM
No turkey, unless it's a club sandwich

my fave quote.

This is so funny, cause when you see Tiger in an interview, he is Erkle, but then you see this and just go "WTF?"

OSUGiants17
03-19-2010, 05:48 PM
fill in the answers and Tiger got peed on...

lol, Tiger is one kinky ************

Sniper
03-20-2010, 11:13 PM
I lost it with the turkey one. By far the best.

Easily tops.

Jvig43
03-21-2010, 02:21 AM
Recently Gatorade announced it would drop their Tiger woods brand gatorade. They said that it had nothing to do with the whole sex scandal, but I'm sure that it didnt help that the logo was "tiger woods, is it in you".


One of my fav jokes.

kalbears13
03-21-2010, 07:25 PM
What if he hit the tree because he was sexting?

CJSchneider
03-21-2010, 07:31 PM
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/gatorade1.jpg

Gatorade

Is it deep inside you?

Recently Gatorade announced it would drop their Tiger woods brand gatorade. They said that it had nothing to do with the whole sex scandal, but I'm sure that it didnt help that the logo was "tiger woods, is it in you".


One of my fav jokes.


I think I beat Gatorade to the joke.

Addict
03-21-2010, 07:35 PM
how 'bout his "Just do It"-nike deal?

Prowler
03-21-2010, 08:09 PM
or Gillette- "because necks aren't just for choking *****es."

"when the best men get all they can get''