The Official Chuck Norris Thread

[ny10804]

We all know how great Chuck Norris is, so I think it is in accord that his own thread be started.

Feel free to pay your dues or post you favorite Chuck Norris FACTS. As of this momemnt, you can watch the Chuckery kick some @$$ on Spike TV in what is automatically one of the greatest movies of all time because Chuck is in it: Missing In Action.

I'll go ahead and start this off: Chuck Norris was on first base, second base, and third, so, Ray, you have your answer.

[Charger Fanatic]

He's the man's man....


http://www.pathguy.com/lectures/chuck_norris_age_49.jpg

http://www.watchmeeatahotdog.com/images/diet/norris.jpg

[Nerv]

I think "mantastic" is a perfect label for the Chuck Norris.

[scoopdawg]

walker texas ranger!:
http://www.hollywood-diecast.com/HOW%20Walker%20Texas%20Ranger.JPG

http://members.tripod.com/~rowdygrl/chucktv.jpg

http://www6.big.or.jp/~syntax/texasranger/wtrtitle.jpg

[Twiddler]

http://members.tripod.com/~rowdygrl/chucktv.jpg

:lol:

[Tobzilla]

http://youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM&search=young%20chuck%20norris

[bengalsLB]

http://youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM&search=young%20chuck%20norris

OMG LMAO

[snuff]

overrated.

[Twiddler]

http://youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM&search=young%20chuck%20norris

Haha, good stuff. I enjoy anything making fun of Chuck Norris, which is why I love Conan O'Brien.

[jetsfan3]

I think "mantastic" is a perfect label for the Chuck Norris.

[Twiddler]

I think "mantastic" is a perfect label for the Chuck Norris.

Do you ever post anything?

[Tobzilla]

http://youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM&search=young%20chuck%20norris

Haha, good stuff. I enjoy anything making fun of Chuck Norris, which is why I love Conan O'Brien.

yeah he needs to get that "chuck norris" leaver back

[Twiddler]

http://youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM&search=young%20chuck%20norris

Haha, good stuff. I enjoy anything making fun of Chuck Norris, which is why I love Conan O'Brien.

yeah he needs to get that "chuck norris" leaver back

I know, that was plain old brilliant.

[therock6000]

all you need to know

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why if your erection lasts for 4 hours you should console a doctor, his erections are known to last up to 4 days.

[CGF 216/137]

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why if your erection lasts for 4 hours you should console a doctor, his erections are known to last up to 4 days.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with an erection, there were no survivors.

I guess you can figure out that i perfer the Vin Diesel facts because I was spreading those months ago, and now over night people have gotten into the Chuck Norris ones. I could never say Chuck Norris was as badass as Vin Diesel because I have that Bruce Lee Movie were he kicks Norris's ass

[Vince Lombardi]

Famous producer Jerry Bruckheimer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000988/) thinks Chuck Norris is such a badass, that he tries to look just like him. :shock:

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/2343/pearlharbor6oi.jpg

[Boston]

If Chuck Norris could cry, his tears would cure cancer.

Every night the boogieman goes to bed, he checks under his bed to make sure chuck norris isn't there.

:lol: :lol:

[CGF 216/137]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised

[CGF 216/137]

When Vin Diesel was born the nurse screamed "Holy Crap that's Vin Diesel!" and proceded to have sex with him, at that point she became the third women Vin Diesel had had sex with.

[Vince Lombardi]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

Vin Deisel is as dumb as a brick.

[CGF 216/137]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

Vin Deisel is as dumb as a brick.

he isn't that dumb, not smart but I've seen dumber actors, i.e. Tom Cruise. I watched an interview with him and he didn't seem like a total idiot.

Even if he was what does that have to do with him as an actor?

[Vince Lombardi]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

Vin Deisel is as dumb as a brick.

he isn't that dumb, not smart but I've seen dumber actors, i.e. Tom Cruise. I watched an interview with him and he didn't seem like a total idiot.

Even if he was what does that have to do with him as an actor?

He's also a terrible actor and a complete ego maniac.

[CGF 216/137]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

Vin Deisel is as dumb as a brick.

he isn't that dumb, not smart but I've seen dumber actors, i.e. Tom Cruise. I watched an interview with him and he didn't seem like a total idiot.

Even if he was what does that have to do with him as an actor?

He's also a terrible actor and a complete ego maniac.

He's a good action hero, like Arnie was. Don't care about his ego. how do you know he has a big Ego? He didn't seem to have a big ego on the commentary to Pitch Black. He was always complimenting the other guy talking about how he had "great shots".

[kick mike hass]

check my signature



some other jokes jokes:
just to prove getting over cancer wasn't a big deal. Chuck norris smoked 15 packs a day and came down with 7 different types of cancer but to rid himself of cancer
he Flexed for 30 min. no more cancer beat that lance armstrong



it takes chuck norris 20 min. to wacth 60 min.



chuck norris once burnt down an entire forest experimenting with water


chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnafying glass....at night



chuck norris needs no explination

when chuck norris gets in the water chuck norris doesn't get wet the water gets chuck norris

chuck norris once vacationd in a whales gut for three months just to call jonah a *****

chuck norris has not a clock in his house so when you say i gotta go its getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down

chuck norris invented water

chuck norris once did a backflip off the great wall of china

The asians built the great wall of china to keep chuck norris out...it didn
t work

a truck hit black ice then chuck norris....you tell me what did the damage

check alexander the great sig

[Alexander The Great]

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P bwahahaahahhhahahahh chuck norris pwns j00 all !2@!@!@!@!!!!1!1!!11111!!!!!!111!!111111111!1!!!1! !!1!!11!!1!!!!!

[Alexander The Great]

w00t

[kick mike hass]

chuck norris is the greatest don't spam

[Vince Lombardi]

que?

[nobodyinparticular]

That was great.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Alexander The Great]

chuck norris is the greatest don't spam

ur right *bows down to chuck norris*

[snuff]

Chuck Norris is almost as played out as Rick James ....

[P-L]

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

[Alexander The Great]

and on the 7th day God created chuck norris and it was his most succesful creation

Someone told me this one last night and I thought it was worth bumping this thread back up to share...

Chuck Norris's mom signs her name "Chuck Norris's mom."

[RexGrossmans-cheesecake]

Will Smith once saw Chuck Norris and waved to him, 9 months later his wife had a baby who was half white, he never doubted it.

[yodapoop]

Not this **** again......Chuck Norris is overrated.

[Don2118]

God said let there be light and Chuck Norris said say please

If you look at Chuck Norris straight in the eyes you will turn into stone

He has a massive ass mouth LMAO these are great

[ny10804]

Not this *********** again......Chuck Norris is overrated.

Look at when I started this thread.....

[Brodeur]

Vin Diesel is the only man to beat the wall in tennis.

Vin Diesel has counted to infiniti twice.

Vin Diesel invented the wheel twice.

Just like Dr. Evil Vin has a clone exactly 1/8 his size, we call that clone god. :D

Vin Deisel is as dumb as a brick.

he isn't that dumb, not smart but I've seen dumber actors, i.e. Tom Cruise. I watched an interview with him and he didn't seem like a total idiot.

Even if he was what does that have to do with him as an actor?

He's also a terrible actor and a complete ego maniac.

That's complete horseshit. Vin Diesel has no ego and every interviewer that has talked to him said he was a really nice guy who always worked to their schedule. Don't try and make things up now.

Oh, and Bruce Campbell > Chuck Norris. I will always say that.

[iworshipbender]

When George Mason made it to the final 4, it caused everyone in the would to simultaneously ejaculate prematurely... even the legendary Chuck Norris was unable to resist the feat, and thus prematurely ejaculated himself.

[Canadian_kid16]

http://www6.big.or.jp/~syntax/texasranger/wtrtitle.jpg

Only show I have ever heard of Chuck Norris, but he was amazingin that show