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bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:12 PM
Need advice your boy BOE is here to help

Brent
02-21-2011, 10:13 PM
dear BOE,

how do I get rid of AIDS?

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:13 PM
Dear BOE,

Crickett's tusks provide a large obstacle in bed. What should I do?

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:14 PM
Dear BOE,

Crickett's tusks provide a large obstacle in bed. What should I do?

And to clarify, I mean the robot, not the poster.

CaneBang
02-21-2011, 10:14 PM
Dear BOE,

Long time reader, I have a colorful discharge emerging from my "Thunder Down Under", what do I do?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:15 PM
dear BOE,

how do I get rid of AIDS?

bleach and sandpaper.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:16 PM
And to clarify, I mean the robot, not the poster.

they only make it more fun, not an obstacle

Giantsfan1080
02-21-2011, 10:16 PM
Long time listener, first time poster,

How do you fake getting so much vag?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:16 PM
Dear BOE,

Long time reader, I have a colorful discharge emerging from my "Thunder Down Under", what do I do?

Well, depending on color.

Red - qtip inside the tip of your ***** for a week you will be fine
green - chop it off
pinkish/blue - kill yourself

DeepThreat
02-21-2011, 10:17 PM
Dear BOE,

I'm having a hard time picking up chicks. Would you recommend roofies or another drug of a similar nature?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:17 PM
Long time listener, first time poster,

How do you fake getting so much vag?

for every 7 chicks i say I have banged, i have banged one

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:18 PM
Dear BOE,

I'm having a hard time picking up chicks. Would you recommend roofies or another drug of a similar nature?

35 gallon garbage bag, bag of lime, duct tape and shovel

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:18 PM
Dear BOE,

I am dating a woman who is a mortician. She wants to have sex in a graveyard in an open grave. I am very uncomfortable with this. How should I confront her?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:20 PM
Dear BOE,

I am dating a woman who is a mortician. She wants to have sex in a graveyard in an open grave. I am very uncomfortable with this. How should I confront her?

Make her play dead in the grave, kill her then you will be more comfortable.

Also, black lipstick and paint your nails black before hand make it a much more enjoyable experience.

Brent
02-21-2011, 10:25 PM
dear BOE,

There are not many women where I live. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it "Federated States Of Micronesia." Is having sex with livestock a viable option? I was considering sheep, what are your thoughts? Also, I enjoy rubbing Poi on my *****, is that a poor choice?

CJSchneider
02-21-2011, 10:27 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently caught my younger sister watching porn. What course of action do you recommend?

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 10:28 PM
Dear BOE,

I am alone in Bangkok with several thousand dollars on my person. What do I to get the best value for my dollar?

Hurricanes25
02-21-2011, 10:28 PM
Dear BOE,
My girlfriend has a *****. How should I approach this?
Sincerely,
the dong

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:28 PM
dear BOE,

There are not many women where I live. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it "Federated States Of Micronesia." Is having sex with livestock a viable option? I was considering sheep, what are your thoughts? Also, I enjoy rubbing Poi on my *****, is that a poor choice?

Well sir, you have addresed me with a complex issue. When there are a lack of females you always have to resort to livestock. I personally would take the route of smothering sheep with coconut oil and drinking large amounts of Malibu rum. Then you throw on Colt Brennan jersey on the sheep and proceed to an epic night of love making. Two things, the oil prevents the razor burn because midfornicating i enjoy shaving the sheep's coats off, second, once the wool is saturated i go to market and trade for other lovely items. like aborted fetuses.

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:28 PM
Dear BOE,

Everyone on this Draft Forum I post on makes fun of me. What lies can I tell to make them respect me?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:29 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently caught my younger sister watching porn. What course of action do you recommend?

If you want to beat it join her!

DeepThreat
02-21-2011, 10:30 PM
Dear BOE,

My girlfriend recently moved to Australia, moving me into a deep state of depression. My already considerable drinking problem only grew worse upon her move. I am now having problems getting it up, and have simply been pissing off people on the internet. What should I do?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:31 PM
Dear BOE,

I am alone in Bangkok with several thousand dollars on my person. What do I to get the best value for my dollar?

You should pay me for the epic advice that I have given you, then buy every hooker and start an LLC using legalzoom.com and market that **** and make money back 10000 fold!

Paul
02-21-2011, 10:31 PM
Hey Boe,

My girlfriend is getting a bit rounded around the edges, and I don't like it. She's around 55lbs right now. What is the best way to tell her that I'll find her grotesquely if she pushes over that 55, and everyman will ridicule her mercilessly for being a fat *****, without further contributing to her serious anorexia problem?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:31 PM
Dear BOE,
My girlfriend has a *****. How should I approach this?
Sincerely,
the dong

Ummm, in the butt no rubber

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:32 PM
Dear BOE,

Everyone on this Draft Forum I post on makes fun of me. What lies can I tell to make them respect me?

Well you must make up stories about fornicating numerous women, then talk about how your uncle knows a regional scout for the Seahawks and he is getting you a job, then talk about killing yourself, then kill yourself.

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 10:33 PM
Dear BOE,

My girlfriends father passed away this week and she is very upset. I feel like I have been incredibly understanding about the situation and helping her move on from the emotional trauma she has been dealing with. How do I parlay this into introducing anal?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:34 PM
Dear BOE,

My girlfriend recently moved to Australia, moving me into a deep state of depression. My already considerable drinking problem only grew worse upon her move. I am now having problems getting it up, and have simply been pissing off people on the internet. What should I do?

Now this is a tough case of 'my life sucks', drink yourself until you wake up in a puddle of your piss. Then purchase some ****** and go to a local Prom and pick up some freshies.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:35 PM
Hey Boe,

My girlfriend is getting a bit rounded around the edges, and I don't like it. She's around 55lbs right now. What is the best way to tell her that I'll find her grotesquely if she pushes over that 55, and everyman will ridicule her mercilessly for being a fat *****, without further contributing to her serious anorexia problem?

Make her swallow your kid and in a bulemic fashion have her give you oral satisfaction until she vomits, that is bound to keep her under 55lbs. See I like it the opposite I want them over 255 so its a tough one here sir. Thanks hope I was a help.

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:36 PM
Dear BOE,

Sometimes I hear my girlfriend using a vibrator. When I catch her, she claims it is just some massaging device from Brookstone. How do I get her to tell the truth?

Crickett
02-21-2011, 10:36 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently cheated on....... the SWDC skype community with a skype community from a different forum. Now, this is a forum I chatted with on skype pretty regularly for a few months early last ago, but a lot of drama I didn't really fully understand built up and I left them around May of last year in what was a fairly bitter parting. I occasionally check up on this forum, but fairly infrequently, just to see how the forum is doing, but my interest in participating dissipates fairly quickly.

What should I do?

Brent
02-21-2011, 10:37 PM
dear BOE,

I am currently dating a girl who has lots of money and takes me to Colts games, however, I don't like her that much. How do I get anal from this before she departs for Spain?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:37 PM
Dear BOE,

My girlfriends father passed away this week and she is very upset. I feel like I have been incredibly understanding about the situation and helping her move on from the emotional trauma she has been dealing with. How do I parlay this into introducing anal?

If you are good, you can parlay any situation good or bad into a situation that induces anal. Just say the pain you feel in your hear from the loss of your father will be much less than the pain you will feel. It will make her really forget about her loss.

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:37 PM
Dear BOE,

I am one of the few successful black coaches in the NFL, but people think I am extremely stupid. How do I use my sex life to prove them wrong?

TomTom Out.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:38 PM
Dear BOE,

Sometimes I hear my girlfriend using a vibrator. When I catch her, she claims it is just some massaging device from Brookstone. How do I get her to tell the truth?

Catch her in the act. That always helps.

Don Vito
02-21-2011, 10:38 PM
Dear BOE,

I met this girl and we quickly hit it off. I brought her home and I proceeded to lay my game down, but she said that she "was not ready". Despite her attempts to squirm away, we did the deed. It was amazing and I need to see her again. I have had no contact with her since I drove her back to Chuck-E-Cheese's. What do you suggest my next move be?

Brent
02-21-2011, 10:39 PM
dear BOE,

I used to be overweight, but recently I switched to an all-corndog diet. How do I get girls to like me when my body odor and breathe all smell like corndogs?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:39 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently cheated on....... the SWDC skype community with a skype community from a different forum. Now, this is a forum I chatted with on skype pretty regularly for a few months early last ago, but a lot of drama I didn't really fully understand built up and I left them around May of last year in what was a fairly bitter parting. I occasionally check up on this forum, but fairly infrequently, just to see how the forum is doing, but my interest in participating dissipates fairly quickly.

What should I do?

Well sir, I may not respond to you in an educational manner. I feel hurted. But I will tell you this, cheating leads to infinite sadness and once you reach that point and come crawling back you will not be accepted. Thanks

scottyboy
02-21-2011, 10:40 PM
Dear BOE,
I love you.
What should I do?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:40 PM
dear BOE,

I am currently dating a girl who has lots of money and takes me to Colts games, however, I don't like her that much. How do I get anal from this before she departs for Spain?

Paint the number 18 in blue on your white ***** she will accept it in any orifice.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:41 PM
Dear BOE,

I am one of the few successful black coaches in the NFL, but people think I am extremely stupid. How do I use my sex life to prove them wrong?

TomTom Out.

Whip it out 24-7. Works for men of a color.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:42 PM
Dear BOE,
I love you.
What should I do?

Do what makes you feel good. It makes me feel good.

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 10:43 PM
Dear BOE,

I just tried what you said with my girlfriend and she swallowed a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt that has yet to succeed. Do I still proceed with the plan?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:43 PM
Dear BOE,

I met this girl and we quickly hit it off. I brought her home and I proceeded to lay my game down, but she said that she "was not ready". Despite her attempts to squirm away, we did the deed. It was amazing and I need to see her again. I have had no contact with her since I drove her back to Chuck-E-Cheese's. What do you suggest my next move be?

Get a job at that said Chuck-E-Cheese and you will find her. Once they go the Chucks they go at least 19 more times before the age of 18.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:45 PM
dear BOE,

I used to be overweight, but recently I switched to an all-corndog diet. How do I get girls to like me when my body odor and breathe all smell like corndogs?

Sounds like you may also be the type of cheat @ video games as well. Altoids. Altoids. Altoids. Works for masking every awful smell. Dye your hair brown too.

WMD
02-21-2011, 10:45 PM
BOE I want to rape everyone that's trying too hard to be funny in this thread. That includes you. What color condom should I wear when performing a mass rape?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:46 PM
Dear BOE,

I just tried what you said with my girlfriend and she swallowed a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt that has yet to succeed. Do I still proceed with the plan?

punch her in the throat over and over and over and over and over until I tell you to stop, ok.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:47 PM
BOE I want to rape everyone that's trying too hard to be funny in this thread. That includes you. What color condom should I wear when performing a mass rape?

the invisible BOEZO condoms. best ones.

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 10:48 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently tried to order root beer from a girl at burger king that was a different ethnicity than me. I couldn't understand her accent and much to my surprise when I pulled up to the window it was a coworker. I drove off post haste and played it off like it wasn't me. How do approach our next encounter?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:50 PM
Dear BOE,

I recently tried to order root beer from a girl at burger king that was a different ethnicity than me. I couldn't understand her accent and much to my surprise when I pulled up to the window it was a coworker. I drove off post haste and played it off like it wasn't me. How do approach our next encounter?

Learn her language via Rosetta stone and order root beer in her language. That is a way straight to her heart.

Brent
02-21-2011, 10:52 PM
dear BOE

I posted a thread about Hakeem Nicks and included a scouting report. However, I was then attacked by other posters, who didnt believe me when I said that I was 18, living at home, and engaged, all while playing college football. How can I be awesome like you?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:54 PM
dear BOE

I posted a thread about Hakeem Nicks and included a scouting report. However, I was then attacked by other posters, who didnt believe me when I said that I was 18, living at home, and engaged, all while playing college football. How can I be awesome like you?

Just learn from every post in this thread apply to every instance in your life from there.

Don Vito
02-21-2011, 10:55 PM
BOE,
How can I become an internet master like you one day?

Shane P. Hallam
02-21-2011, 10:56 PM
Dear BOE,

I have a webcam and asked all the girls I know to add me to Skype but they denied me for some reason. Why is this?

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 10:56 PM
Dear BOE,

In a thread about a genre of music I enjoy, I got into an argument with some members of this forum I post on. When I threatened physical retribution and tried to arrange it, they all sort of laughed at me... especially when I tried to get people to meet me in a park in a *** area of Atlanta. What do I do to track them down and kill them all?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:57 PM
BOE,
How can I become an internet master like you one day?

Pretend to be a funny person online and talk about sexing 505309 women.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:58 PM
Dear BOE,

I have a webcam and asked all the girls I know to add me to Skype but they denied me for some reason. Why is this?

Because they are not comfortable with seeing you naked via cam but are waiting for being with you in person.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 10:59 PM
Dear BOE,

In a thread about a genre of music I enjoy, I got into an argument with some members of this forum I post on. When I threatened physical retribution and tried to arrange it, they all sort of laughed at me... especially when I tried to get people to meet me in a park in a *** area of Atlanta. What do I do to track them down and kill them all?

I am nervous to answer this honestly because I feel you may kill me too sir.

Brent
02-21-2011, 11:00 PM
dear BOE,

I move to America a few years ago, but recently, while drunk, I got a tattoo of a symbol synonymous with a political party which ruled a country that believed in the persecution of certain ethnic groups, all while holding a pistol. How can I convince people that I am not a fascist and, instead, that I am a nice guy who happens to sound like Bronson Pinchot?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:03 PM
dear BOE,

I move to America a few years ago, but recently, while drunk, I got a tattoo of a symbol synonymous with a political party which ruled a country that believed in the persecution of certain ethnic groups, all while holding a pistol. How can I convince people that I am not a fascist and, instead, that I am a nice guy who happens to sound like Bronson Pinchot?

was that english sir?

fenikz
02-21-2011, 11:19 PM
Dear Boe,

My ***** looks like a guitar what do I do!?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:21 PM
Dear Boe,

My ***** looks like a guitar what do I do!?

Jimi Hendrix that ****

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 11:22 PM
Dear BOE

I am taking a new heart medication to combat a rare condition that has effected me since birth. The stress of this situation has made me increasingly lonely and longing for companionship, yet I am unable to obtain it do to a busy life and immense anxiety about my condition. I have begun to spend more and more intimate time with myself with the absence of female friendship. Within those sessions, I have recently discovered that in my greatest moments of pleasure, I excrete a substance that is unmistakably Cheese Whiz instead of the one considered biologically canonical. How do I use this to my advantage ruling out obese women as a viable option?

OSUGiants17
02-21-2011, 11:22 PM
Dear BOE,
I am desperatly trying to come up with a funny and witty question to ask you like everyone else has done so I can win rep on teh internetz but can't think of anything. What should I ask?

Jvig43
02-21-2011, 11:23 PM
Dear boe,

Sometimes I wake up and my ***** is in my vagina. What do I do to prevent this from happening?

fenikz
02-21-2011, 11:23 PM
Jimi Hendrix that ****

are you telling me to light my dick on fire?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:23 PM
Dear BOE

I am taking a new heart medication to combat a rare condition that has effected me since birth. The stress of this situation has made me increasingly lonely and longing for companionship, yet I am unable to obtain it do to a busy life and immense anxiety about my condition. I have begun to spend more and more intimate time with myself with the absence of female friendship. Within those sessions, I have recently discovered that in my greatest moments of pleasure, I excrete a substance that is unmistakably Cheese Whiz instead of the one considered biologically canonical. How do I use this to my advantage ruling out obese women as a viable option?

any event that involves Cheese Whiz and does not involved horseradish is uneventful. add horseradish, your life will be complete.

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:24 PM
Dear BOE,
I am desperatly trying to come up with a funny and witty question to ask you like everyone else has done so I can win rep on teh internetz but can't think of anything. What should I ask?

maybe if you healed your anal fissure from the rapings you had recently you could come up with something creative

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:25 PM
are you telling me to light my dick on fire?

after you use it 50503909390 times it will need to be lighten on fire

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:26 PM
Dear boe,

Sometimes I wake up and my ***** is in my vagina. What do I do to prevent this from happening?

you are making this question out to be something that is bad. if this happened i would never leave the house and never post again in this thread. this is one of the best things a man can ask for.

OSUGiants17
02-21-2011, 11:28 PM
maybe if you healed your anal fissure from the rapings you had recently you could come up with something creative

But I wasn't raped...I asked Brooke Lopez to do such things to me

Jvig43
02-21-2011, 11:31 PM
you are making this question out to be something that is bad. if this happened i would never leave the house and never post again in this thread. this is one of the best things a man can ask for.

So your telling me this has never happened to you?

bored of education
02-21-2011, 11:35 PM
So your telling me this has never happened to you?

i wish sir

OSUGiants17
02-21-2011, 11:38 PM
Dear BOE
Did you know the packers had injuries this season???? I just found this out and I'm in total shock!

yodabear
02-21-2011, 11:41 PM
Dear BOE,
Why are my balls so scratchy?

Your bestest,
Yoda

Jvig43
02-21-2011, 11:43 PM
Dear BOE
Did you know the packers had injuries this season???? I just found this out and I'm in total shock!

Hey stop it. Someone is going to come in and accuse me of starting the packer hate. GB12 seems to think I started every packer fan joke on this forum, I really dont know why.

OSUGiants17
02-21-2011, 11:48 PM
Dear BOE

How do I prevent sweaty balls/ball stuck to leg? I've tried deoterent, free balling, and streaking 24/7. Nothing works, please help

Crickett
02-21-2011, 11:49 PM
Hey stop it. Someone is going to come in and accuse me of starting the packer hate. GB12 seems to think I started every packer fan joke on this forum, I really dont know why.

Because the team you root for is such a hated divisional rival of the Green Bay Packers.

SuperMcGee
02-21-2011, 11:52 PM
Did anybody else expect this thread to follow BOE in his new VH1 series in which he moves into a local middle school in search of love?

yodabear
02-21-2011, 11:52 PM
Dear BOE

How do I prevent sweaty balls/ball stuck to leg? I've tried deoterent, free balling, and streaking 24/7. Nothing works, please help

Duke, take a shower.

fenikz
02-21-2011, 11:53 PM
Dear Boe,

If you were a muffin what kind of muffin would you be?

ElectricEye
02-21-2011, 11:56 PM
Did anybody else expect this thread to follow BOE in his new VH1 series in which he moves into a local middle school in search of love?

I would not only watch that show but help finance it.

Jvig43
02-21-2011, 11:58 PM
Because the team you root for is such a hated divisional rival of the Green Bay Packers.

This is true, but I did root for the Packers in the super bowl.

eaglesalltheway
02-22-2011, 12:07 AM
Dear BOE,

For the past few years I've been noticing that I'm being followed by a man In a Rutgers jersey, wearing only mine or Brian Leonard's jersey, and sometimes I have these strange dreams that this same man crawls into bed and cuddles up close to me, slowly caressing my thighs. What is my next move?

Sincerely, Raymell

vidae
02-22-2011, 12:26 AM
Dear Boe,

If you were a muffin what kind of muffin would you be?

We have a winner.

ElectricEye
02-22-2011, 12:33 AM
Dear BOE,

Study this image carefully. In particular, the brain.
http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/2883/1298355104163.jpg


Convince me that there's not a smaller octopus inside the octopus controlling it.

The Unseen
02-22-2011, 01:10 AM
Dear BOE,

Is Mastodon awesome or completely ******* awesome?

Your pal,
TU

kalbears13
02-22-2011, 01:56 AM
Dear Boe,

I had a very embarrassing moment today. I took my last final at college today. I was about a half hour from home, and I was thirsty. So I went to the Burger King drive through. The key to the story is that I am wearing a hat and sunglasses so remember that.

I go up to the machine, and the women is talking spanish. So I am like "this is america, I speak english". So then the women is like "welcome to burger king can I take your order?". I say that I just want a medium Root beer. and this women gets it wrong about 4 times thinking that I want a meal... So eventually, I was like I just cant understand what your saying. So I then drive up to the window where your supposed to pay (I was the only car there, surprisingly) and figure I can just tell her in person what I want cause its just a drink.

At this point, I look in and see that the women working there is my co-worker at the supermarket i work in.... So I am kind of hoping she doesnt notice me. Because I was very rude over the intercom. But she of course, says "kalbears13 is that you?" so I have no idea why, but I said no. then she questions me further "you dont work at __________?" and I was like no... then she says "ok.... well you look exactly like my co-worker."

So my question is, how do I get her in bed tomorrow?

Sportsfan486
02-22-2011, 03:11 AM
Dearest BoE,

Recently I've encountered bouts of anal bleeding. How can I turn this potentially embarrassing situation into a way to pick up chicks? Fat won't work but goth is cool.

Yours truly,
Sportsfan486

Mr. Goosemahn
02-22-2011, 07:00 AM
Dear boe,

I recently found out this guy I post with is called Jinx. How do I tell him he's named after a terrible Pokemon, and that he should change his name to a much cooler Pokemon, like Charizard, without hurting his feelings?

Thanks in advance,
Mr. Goosemahn

fischbowl
02-22-2011, 07:34 AM
Dear BOE,

What kind of setting would you like to be in when I'm punishing your asshole later this week? Candlelit with a slight Kenny G in the background?

Much Love!

Fischbowl

CJSchneider
02-22-2011, 05:01 PM
Did anybody else expect this thread to follow BOE in his new VH1 series in which he moves into a local middle school in search of love?

I would not only watch that show but help finance it.

I believe I am in a perfect position to be a casting director.

Jvig43
02-22-2011, 05:36 PM
Dear Boe,

There are some here that don't have faith that you are able to replace the relationship thread. What would you say to the nay sayers?

- Jvig

Shane P. Hallam
02-22-2011, 06:42 PM
Dear BOE,

Will you quit your job and focus on answering questions in this thread?

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:36 PM
Dear BOE,
Why are my balls so scratchy?

Your bestest,
Yoda

two words: the seven year itch. look it up!

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:39 PM
Dear BOE

How do I prevent sweaty balls/ball stuck to leg? I've tried deoterent, free balling, and streaking 24/7. Nothing works, please help

When ball stick to inner thighs you must first remove the velcro from your ***** sack then you can definitely not experience that ball stucking to inner thighs syndrome.

One thing I use is Flour. Flour makes everything dry and yummy.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:39 PM
Dear Boe,

If you were a muffin what kind of muffin would you be?

Corn chocolate chip blueberry cranberry orange muffin toasted with butter.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:41 PM
Dear BOE,

For the past few years I've been noticing that I'm being followed by a man In a Rutgers jersey, wearing only mine or Brian Leonard's jersey, and sometimes I have these strange dreams that this same man crawls into bed and cuddles up close to me, slowly caressing my thighs. What is my next move?

Sincerely, Raymell


What you must do is have your upper inner thighs provide him with ear muffs. If he doesn't reciprocate then you kill him. You kill him good. If you feel him in your sleep, the reason is that he is in bed with you sucking your *****. If he does that, just go with it bro.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:41 PM
Dear Boe,

I had a very embarrassing moment today. I took my last final at college today. I was about a half hour from home, and I was thirsty. So I went to the Burger King drive through. The key to the story is that I am wearing a hat and sunglasses so remember that.

I go up to the machine, and the women is talking spanish. So I am like "this is america, I speak english". So then the women is like "welcome to burger king can I take your order?". I say that I just want a medium Root beer. and this women gets it wrong about 4 times thinking that I want a meal... So eventually, I was like I just cant understand what your saying. So I then drive up to the window where your supposed to pay (I was the only car there, surprisingly) and figure I can just tell her in person what I want cause its just a drink.

At this point, I look in and see that the women working there is my co-worker at the supermarket i work in.... So I am kind of hoping she doesnt notice me. Because I was very rude over the intercom. But she of course, says "kalbears13 is that you?" so I have no idea why, but I said no. then she questions me further "you dont work at __________?" and I was like no... then she says "ok.... well you look exactly like my co-worker."

So my question is, how do I get her in bed tomorrow?

you sir remind me of someone.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:42 PM
Dear BOE,

Study this image carefully. In particular, the brain.
http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/2883/1298355104163.jpg


Convince me that there's not a smaller octopus inside the octopus controlling it.
that looks like something my mother used to suffocate me with, i am hazing flash backs,

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:42 PM
Dear BOE,

Is Mastodon awesome or completely ******* awesome?

Your pal,
TU

******* awesome holmes

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:43 PM
Dearest BoE,

Recently I've encountered bouts of anal bleeding. How can I turn this potentially embarrassing situation into a way to pick up chicks? Fat won't work but goth is cool.

Yours truly,
Sportsfan486

Anal bleeding has one cure, pine cones.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:44 PM
Dear boe,

I recently found out this guy I post with is called Jinx. How do I tell him he's named after a terrible Pokemon, and that he should change his name to a much cooler Pokemon, like Charizard, without hurting his feelings?

Thanks in advance,
Mr. Goosemahn


he sucks, kill him. ill let you use my steak knives i order from this infomercial and a slap chap. you cannot hurt his feelings, be honest, never fails, ever.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:45 PM
Dear BOE,

What kind of setting would you like to be in when I'm punishing your asshole later this week? Candlelit with a slight Kenny G in the background?

Much Love!

Fischbowl



Call me sweet tits. I wanna taste you and your man milk!

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:46 PM
Dear Boe,

There are some here that don't have faith that you are able to replace the relationship thread. What would you say to the nay sayers?

- Jvig

well they are not bring any questions that stimulate my senses in more ways than three. I think if people were interesting and brought more to the table than hand jobs then i would be interested.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 08:46 PM
Dear BOE,

Will you quit your job and focus on answering questions in this thread?

this is my night job only gents.

Sportsfan486
02-22-2011, 09:05 PM
Dearest BoE,

Upon heeding your advice and devouring no less then 3 pine cones, to no avail, and then shoving 2 more pine cones up my anus.. I have found the anal bleeding to be even more noticeable. In fact, I'm beginning to grow a tad faint and dizzy. I have come to the only sane conclusion.. that I misused the pine cones. Please regard to the correct usage of said pine cones.

Yours truly,
Sportsfan486

P.S. - I may lose conciousness shortly so if you are able to answer this in haste it would be appreciated.

bored of education
02-22-2011, 09:06 PM
Dearest BoE,

Upon heeding your advice and devouring no less then 3 pine cones, to no avail, and then shoving 2 more pine cones up my anus.. I have found the anal bleeding to be even more noticeable. In fact, I'm beginning to grow a tad faint and dizzy. I have come to the only sane conclusion.. that I misused the pine cones. Please regard to the correct usage of said pine cones.

Yours truly,
Sportsfan486

P.S. - I may lose conciousness shortly so if you are able to answer this in haste it would be appreciated.


I really hate you.

Shane P. Hallam
02-22-2011, 09:28 PM
Dear BOE,

I am in love with my best friend. He played football at UCLA and has a ton of muscles despite being a midget. After thinking he was cheating on me with David Garrard, I took a picture of myself holding an illegal drug next to him while he was sleeping. He is now in big trouble. What should I do?

bored of education
02-22-2011, 09:30 PM
Dear BOE,

I am in love with my best friend. He played football at UCLA and has a ton of muscles despite being a midget. After thinking he was cheating on me with David Garrard, I took a picture of myself holding an illegal drug next to him while he was sleeping. He is now in big trouble. What should I do?

Is your name yourfavstoner?

Bosanac01
02-22-2011, 09:55 PM
Dear BOE,

Fapping, or Drunk Fapping?

bored of education
02-22-2011, 09:58 PM
Dear BOE,

Fapping, or Drunk Fapping?

Dappung Firnk

Bosanac01
02-22-2011, 10:10 PM
Dappung Firnk

Whoa, how did you do that?

yodabear
02-22-2011, 10:23 PM
Dear BOE,

Will u do the dance with no pants with me?

Spank Me,
Yodapoopsicle