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stephenson86
03-10-2011, 05:26 PM
Guys started writing a blog, if any of you take the time out to read, feedback, comment and what not, it would be appreciated. Want to make a go of blogging.

http://stephenson86.wordpress.com

Danke.

Sportsfan486
03-10-2011, 05:39 PM
Guys started writing a blog, if any of you take the time out to read, feedback, comment and what not, it would be appreciated. Want to make a go of blogging.

http://stephenson86.wordpress.com

Danke.

I'm not sure this thread will avoid being deleted or locked but if you'd like some feedback I don't mind giving it to you, although I might be a bit brutally honest.

Your style of writing is rambling and filled with obscure details that slow down reading and simply aren't pertinent. For example..

"Minding my own business I was cut up by a woman with a push chair and two children clinging on at either side forming a 3 person wall across the path between stalls that was conveniently just small enough to block my path and piss me off."

That's far too long of a sentence for a blog and contains details that are going for accuracy but actually hinder the reader's ability to form a mental image. I would form that sentence more like..

"I was minding my own business when, just to spite me, a woman cut in front of me. As if that wasn't bad enough, she was pushing along a chair with two small children hanging from the sides like little monkeys; effectively blocking any chance of my scooting past."

Blogging requires a style of writing that some people will want to read. It has to be entertaining. Your writing needs a lot of work on formation and structure of sentences.

stephenson86
03-10-2011, 05:41 PM
Tell me about it, really appreciate the feedback and the alteration to what I put. Nice one man (I got a D in English lit), so any help is great.

Sportsfan486
03-10-2011, 05:50 PM
Tell me about it, really appreciate the feedback and the alteration to what I put. Nice one man (I got a D in English lit), so any help is great.

The thing with blogging in that style is that people can imagine it. It's all real-world stuff. Your goal isn't to build a world for your readers as it may be in a story or a novel; your goal is to entertain your readers with your view of the world or the circumstances which came upon you.

So for the example I gave before, it's implied that a woman and two kids side-by-side would be a hindrance and an obstacle. Stating that simply slows things down and bores the reader. You should focus more on your reaction to that event, how it affected you and what your solution/reaction was.

If you read a lot of the heavily followed blogs they almost always have something catchy about them that intrigues those readers to keep reading. Maybe it's a self-admonishing sense of humor, a bleak outlook on the world or a completely eschewed perspective from their own. People don't want to read what they would have written.

josh07039
03-10-2011, 06:03 PM
Just a basic note. I feel like a lot of your sentences ramble a bit and border on run-on sentences. You seem like you are trying to jam as much as you can into each sentence.

Also, not to be mean, but a lot of your observations are fairly typical. I understand it is hard to always be original, so the thing is, you may need to develop a tone/style that makes you stand out. Whether you are really angry, sarcastic, whatever, you need to work hard at it to develop a style all your own.

From a design standpoint, you need to justify your columns because it is very annoying to read in the format you have.

I wish you luck, coming from a failed blogger, I know how hard it is to keep going. Stick with it.

stephenson86
03-10-2011, 06:05 PM
Just a basic note. I feel like a lot of your sentences ramble a bit and border on run-on sentences. You seem like you are trying to jam as much as you can into each sentence.

Also, not to be mean, but a lot of your observations are fairly typical. I understand it is hard to always be original, so the thing is, you may need to develop a tone/style that makes you stand out. Whether you are really angry, sarcastic, whatever, you need to work hard at it to develop a style all your own.

From a design standpoint, you need to justify your columns because it is very annoying to read in the format you have.

I wish you luck, coming from a failed blogger, I know how hard it is to keep going. Stick with it.

Cheers man, I will do, I'm a very extreme guy, so I may need to go with that. I often say pretty disgraceful things to make my point about the world so holding back less might be a good idea.