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View Full Version : Who would be the best fictional football player ever?


PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 01:38 AM
This is just a hypothetical situation, I am drunk as **** and was wondering who the best hypothetical football player would be. I am in a debate with myself.

Xonraider
01-20-2012, 01:40 AM
Obviously Superman

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 01:41 AM
I just got done making a ten option poll for this and now it doesn't work.

I want to cry in a corner.

robert pancake gallery
01-20-2012, 01:44 AM
fausto carmona is the best hypothetical person, so there's that

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 01:44 AM
fausto carmona is the best hypothetical person, so there's that

What about chief wahoo?

robert pancake gallery
01-20-2012, 01:46 AM
What about chief wahoo?

chief wahoo doesn't have a nervous breakdown every time there's someone on base.

chief wahoo also actually exists.

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 02:03 AM
My opinion would be Thud Butt from Hook honestly, he could just fatty ass roll over the offensive line and tackle anyone. Not even Tebow could escape the somersault of that fat ass.

The Dynasty
01-20-2012, 02:20 AM
Danny Bateman from The Replacements

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTc2ODAyNDU4OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTY3NjI3._V1._ SX500_SY749_.jpg

fenikz
01-20-2012, 02:27 AM
Tim Tebow.

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 02:32 AM
Tim Tebow.

That was one of my options, sadly this ******* poll did not register and I want to cry.

robert pancake gallery
01-20-2012, 02:34 AM
Danny Bateman from The Replacements

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTc2ODAyNDU4OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTY3NjI3._V1._ SX500_SY749_.jpg

i change my vote to patrick bateman.

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 02:35 AM
i change my vote to patrick bateman.

qwicLgOGJOI

HIP TO BE SQUARE

Lil Quip
01-20-2012, 03:45 AM
Obviously Superman

No kidding.

Leaping tall buildings in a single bound? Hand it off to him, he jumps the entire field and scores a TD. And by proxy, he would dunk the football over the goalpost which would somehow register as a TD and a FG on the same play, even though no one knows how. Plus I don't see a hail mary getting past him.

Lil Quip
01-20-2012, 03:46 AM
Tim Tebow.

Yes the fictional Tim Tebow would be amazing...

unfortunately for Broncos fans, the actual Tebow is hardly comparable.

WCH
01-20-2012, 04:35 AM
Superman obviously wins, but I think that The Flash would be almost as great. Obviously, Superman would be better at catching jump balls, blocking kicks, and intercepting passes (not to mention that if his team somehow lost, he could just fly around the world really fast and turn time back). But The Flash would match him in terms of being able to score every time you handed off to him, and being able pick off the snap if the other team tried to play out of a shotgun.

Also, The Flash has a slightly better 40 time, so we know who Al Davis would have favored.

TACKLE
01-20-2012, 04:36 AM
it's obviously nightcrawler.

Ngatachance92
01-20-2012, 04:56 AM
When talking fictional characters Superman will win pretty much any hypothetical debate because those bastards at DC Comics made a being that can't be beaten unless subjected to Kryptonite(which is very rare and hard to come by) and Batman.

Wodwo
01-20-2012, 05:45 AM
That was one of my options, sadly this ******* poll did not register and I want to cry.

Ok, you're awesome. I'm so + repping the **** out of you. This thread rules.

My obvious answer for the day would be God. Which of course still leads back down the same path that any discussion in this thread inevitably will... Tebow.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6e/Touched_by_His_Noodly_Appendage.jpg

Wodwo
01-20-2012, 05:59 AM
When talking fictional characters Superman will win pretty much any hypothetical debate because those bastards at DC Comics made a being that can't be beaten unless subjected to Kryptonite(which is very rare and hard to come by) and Batman.

No. This beautiful idea must not devolve into the age old argument of which Super Hero is more bad ass.

Anyway, everybody knows The Hulk would take a massive dump all over Super Man's "underwear on the outside" ass.

Wait... damn... see what you made me do?

OSUGiants17
01-20-2012, 06:07 AM
Time fr another super hero football draft?

brat316
01-20-2012, 08:44 AM
hypnotoad

http://i638.photobucket.com/albums/uu105/ivegotabikeucanride/Icons/4920120LJboomstick.gif

killxswitch
01-20-2012, 08:50 AM
hypnotoad

http://i638.photobucket.com/albums/uu105/ivegotabikeucanride/Icons/4920120LJboomstick.gif

I really doubt he- ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD.

Gay Ork Wang
01-20-2012, 09:08 AM
Time fr another super hero football draft?
Nightcrawler beasted for me so hard.

Saints-Tigers
01-20-2012, 09:17 AM
Goku>Superman.

Splat
01-20-2012, 09:37 AM
WiVzyGXr9CI

CJSchneider
01-20-2012, 09:47 AM
Rid Tidwell

http://www.delvecchio.ca/images/enjoy.jpg


...again.

Sloopy
01-20-2012, 10:03 AM
Time fr another super hero football draft?

Could we safely say that Aquaman would be Mr. Irrelevant?

Theoretical superhero:Juggernaut at running back or Beast at pretty much any position

Theoretical non-superhero: Shane Falco as a replacement for Joe Flacco

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 12:14 PM
I'm so damn bummed that I couldn't make a poll, this thread had such great potential :/

Unfortunately the only single name I remember being on there was Tebow and I think Dohvakiin

Shane P. Hallam
01-20-2012, 12:52 PM
Invisible Woman. Done!

DraftSavant
01-20-2012, 01:00 PM
Wolverine, because the best ability is availability.

killxswitch
01-20-2012, 01:06 PM
The Juggernaut would make one hell of a FB.

Sloopy
01-20-2012, 01:12 PM
The Juggernaut would make one hell of a FB.

Hell just give him the ball and say run into the endzone. His momentum can't be stopped, only possibly diverted.

Beast would make an awesome LB/safety; superhuman strength, agility and speed with amazing intellect to go along with it

Shane P. Hallam
01-20-2012, 01:15 PM
Hell just give him the ball and say run into the endzone. His momentum can't be stopped, only possibly diverted.

Unless Blob was your NT! Hahaha!


Epicness:
http://www.draftcountdown.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22403

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 01:18 PM
I think that a boy and his blob would be the best because of the variety of incredible things they could do. It would be like watching the Harlem Globejermiahtrotters.

robert pancake gallery
01-20-2012, 01:20 PM
The Juggernaut would make one hell of a FB.

what type of FB are you referring to

Shane P. Hallam
01-20-2012, 01:23 PM
I think that a boy and his blob would be the best because of the variety of incredible things they could do. It would be like watching the Harlem Globejermiahtrotters.

Feeding a blob jellybeans takes too long!

ChiFan24
01-20-2012, 01:29 PM
The RB from the beginning of the Last Boy Scout.

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 01:32 PM
Feeding a blob jellybeans takes too long!

Well we have skittles on the sideline already we can have jelly beans ready.

Brown Leader
01-20-2012, 01:35 PM
http://wrixel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/924357-459124_dr_manhattan_pic_super.jpg

/end

A Perfect Score
01-20-2012, 01:43 PM
http://wrixel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/924357-459124_dr_manhattan_pic_super.jpg

/end

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060505143433/marveldatabase/images/2/2b/Galactus_005.jpg

/end

SuperPacker
01-20-2012, 01:46 PM
http://www.reelinsider.com/hulk.jpg

He would be a pretty beastly DT!

soybean
01-20-2012, 01:47 PM
Water Boy.

Shane Falco. (he's like the non religious tebow)

Dawson's Creek.

Coach Al Bundy. (while we're at it, fullback Al Bundy)

soybean
01-20-2012, 01:48 PM
http://www.reelinsider.com/hulk.jpg

He would be a pretty beastly DT!

Unnecessary roughness ftl...

EDIT: btw, he already exisits. his name is ndamukong suh

SickwithIt1010
01-20-2012, 01:54 PM
vNFft6r6Des

/end thread.

Sloopy
01-20-2012, 01:55 PM
http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/1110/andrew.luck.sweepstakes/images/andrew-luck-opxu-52808.jpg

Am I doing this right?

Saints-Tigers
01-20-2012, 01:58 PM
Before Willie Beamen, wasn't Cap Rooney like the Joe Montana of that fictional league?

Bengalsrocket
01-20-2012, 04:00 PM
Before Willie Beamen, wasn't Cap Rooney like the Joe Montana of that fictional league?

I don't think it was ever specified how good he was. I believe Diaz's character at one point stated that the team won multiple championships with him, but they never went into the detail of his statistics.

He possibly could have been more like a Phil Simms.

soybean
01-20-2012, 04:06 PM
Am I doing this right?

I don't get it.

PoopSandwich
01-20-2012, 04:34 PM
we should make a team by position of amazing fictional people that have big dicks

Wodwo
01-20-2012, 04:34 PM
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0901/know-your-old-ones-c-t-h-u-l-h-u-cthulhu-not-cthuluh-demotivational-poster-1231634484.jpg

robert pancake gallery
01-20-2012, 04:39 PM
we should make a team by position of amazing fictional people that have big dicks

if i can one up you, we should do a big-dick-pic/sexting mock dick draft (but real people); i'm completely serious and would be willing to create the thread and set up the rules... i'm not sure about what type of team/sport by position would make the most sense, all i know is that the prospect of having grady sizemore holding a teacup over his dick and pierced nipple ray edwards on the same team would be nothing short of spectacular.

killxswitch
01-20-2012, 05:16 PM
This **** just got weird.

Jakey
01-20-2012, 05:27 PM
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldp3jukzHo1qb9a2wo1_500.png

A Perfect Score
01-20-2012, 05:36 PM
if i can one up you, we should do a big-dick-pic/sexting mock dick draft (but real people); i'm completely serious and would be willing to create the thread and set up the rules... i'm not sure about what type of team/sport by position would make the most sense, all i know is that the prospect of having grady sizemore holding a teacup over his dick and pierced nipple ray edwards on the same team would be nothing short of spectacular.

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/2011/05/81526128/WTF.gif

Brent
01-20-2012, 05:40 PM
http://media.egotvonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/jesus-football.jpg

nepg
01-20-2012, 05:44 PM
Uhhh.... I always thought The Flash would be the winner in this...always.

yodabear
01-20-2012, 05:47 PM
Jonathan......

CMNry4PE93Y.....future Maryland Terrapin BABY!

Sloopy
01-20-2012, 08:01 PM
if i can one up you, we should do a big-dick-pic/sexting mock dick draft (but real people); i'm completely serious and would be willing to create the thread and set up the rules... i'm not sure about what type of team/sport by position would make the most sense, all i know is that the prospect of having grady sizemore holding a teacup over his dick and pierced nipple ray edwards on the same team would be nothing short of spectacular.

How in the...

Bulldogs
01-20-2012, 08:06 PM
if i can one up you, we should do a big-dick-pic/sexting mock dick draft (but real people); i'm completely serious and would be willing to create the thread and set up the rules... i'm not sure about what type of team/sport by position would make the most sense, all i know is that the prospect of having grady sizemore holding a teacup over his dick and pierced nipple ray edwards on the same team would be nothing short of spectacular.

You have finally won me over.