View Full Version : Ideas For Jimmy Haslam's Tenure With The Browns

robert pancake gallery
09-19-2012, 11:39 PM
I was brainstorming some ideas for Jimmy Haslam III to bring onboard now that he's the owner of the Browns franchise.

selling stadium naming rights to skoal
replacing cupholders with spittoons
replacing hot dogs and italian sausage with grits and biscuits with gravy
making WGAR 99.5 the official radio partner of the cleveland browns
bringing the pro-bullriding and rodeo circuits to cleveland browns stadium
replacing the great lakes science center adjacent to the stadium with a baptist church
providing a reduced-rate parking lot on gameday exclusively for american-made trucks
replacing available stadium beer selection with busch
making the cleveland browns brand an official sponsor of NASCAR
installing crucifixion insignia on the bottom halves of both goalposts
halftime cornhole tournaments on the field for registered republicans
making a bid to host the SEC championship game
replace game programs with bibles
show biblical verses on the scoreboard after big plays instead of highlights
pregame chili cookoffs where jimmy himself is one of the judges
promotional events such as "show off your daughter day", where if you bring your daughter in a short-skirt and/or low-cut top to the game that day, she gets in free and can enter a contest to meet jimmy in a one-on-one session
work to get cracker barrel to do catering in louges
at least one hooters restaurant kiosk on each stadium level
outsource team shop responsibilities to walmart
square-dance nights on saturdays before home games
hanging of the gadsden flag in each corner of the stadium by american flags
ban all rap music

these were just a couple ideas i had, let me know if you can think of some more

09-20-2012, 12:54 AM
The nascar one made me laugh hard. In all actuality he is having 3 groups evaluate Cleveland browns stadium for a retractable roof so the stadium can be a venue to other events such as concerts, college games etc