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someone447
04-15-2007, 05:18 PM
I've been working with a speed trainer for about 8 months in hopes of going somewhere to play next year(I'm not sure where yet, I just know I am going somewhere.) I haven't been timed in the 40 since I ran my 4.62 at UTEP, but if I had to guess I could run a 4.5 right now.

However, I did run a 4.19 20 yard shuttle and a 6.92 and 6.98 3 cone test when I was timed on thursday. My next time on the shuttle was a 4.48 but I slipped really bad. If I can figure out how to get the .VRO file from the disc the camcorder recorded it on onto my computer I will post the video. So if anyone knows how to do that, please let me know.

I am going to say this now, **** YOU IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!! Just look at past posts I have had about my life, I say the bad along with the good.

So, anyone that is overly proud of an accomplishment they have, post it here.

shuttle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkSIkdZ93Es

neko4
04-15-2007, 05:19 PM
I ummmm, did something, i'll comeback when i remeber

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 05:21 PM
I am a striking young man.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:22 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

neko4
04-15-2007, 05:23 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

o yeah that was it!

duckseason
04-15-2007, 05:24 PM
Don't mean to sound cocky or anything, but I'm currently on a streak 4 consecutive no-wipers. That's right fellas, read it and weep.

Go_Eagles77
04-15-2007, 05:24 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

Did you have material (magazine, video) or did you use your imagination?

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 05:25 PM
Don't mean to sound cocky or anything, but I'm currently on a streak 4 consecutive no-wipers. That's right fellas, read it and weep.

That is quite impressive

someone447
04-15-2007, 05:26 PM
Don't mean to sound cocky or anything, but I'm currently on a streak 4 consecutive no-wipers. That's right fellas, read it and weep.

That is a definite goal to aspire to. I've never had more than 2 in a row.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:26 PM
Did you have material (magazine, video) or did you use your imagination?

I used a video 6 times, a magazine 4 times, and a pamphlet the last three.

someone447
04-15-2007, 05:26 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

Ouch, that must hurt. I sure hope you used lotion.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 05:27 PM
I won in Madden 2006 by 70+ Points
I have a 4.7 40 time at age 16
I won in NBA Live 05 by 56 Points

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 05:27 PM
I used a video 6 times, a magazine 4 times, and a pamphlet the last three.

I only use videos, i need to see movement

princefielder28
04-15-2007, 05:27 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

Thats skill!!!

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 05:28 PM
That is a definite goal to aspire to. I've never had more than 2 in a row.

Nor have I

Go_Eagles77
04-15-2007, 05:28 PM
I used a video 6 times, a magazine 4 times, and a pamphlet the last three.

Oh so you really did it 13 times? The 1st time you said 12, don't be so modest.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:29 PM
Ouch, that must hurt. I sure hope you used lotion.

Nope. Just an old leather glove. I like it rough.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 05:29 PM
Nope. Just an old leather glove. I like it rough.

LMAO, now thats funny. + REP

duckseason
04-15-2007, 05:30 PM
Ouch, that must hurt. I sure hope you used lotion.
Nah, lotion dries out too fast man. If you're a marathoner, Olive oil is the only way to go. Just trust me on that. It's good for the skin too. And it's always handy.

ricky bobby
04-15-2007, 05:30 PM
I have a 4.0 GPA in college.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 05:30 PM
Nah, lotion dries out too fast man. If you're a marathoner, Olive oil is the only way to go. Just trust me on that. It's good for the skin too. And it's always handy.

that will give acne wont it, i use vaseline or baby oil...

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:31 PM
Oh so you really did it 13 times? The 1st time you said 12, don't be so modest.

I can't really remember. Crazy day. I'll just say it was 12.5 times, then.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 05:31 PM
I have a 4.0 GPA in college.

Now that's an accomplishment. Good job

duckseason
04-15-2007, 05:32 PM
that will give acne wont it, i use vaseline or baby oil...

Nah hell no. Olive oil is hella good for the skin. Been using it for years. Baby oil doesn't seem to have the right texture. Too watery. Not thick enough.

Go_Eagles77
04-15-2007, 05:32 PM
I can't really remember. Crazy day. I'll just say it was 12.5 times, then.

lol this thread is getting a little too personal.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:35 PM
I have a 4.0 GPA in college.

I have a wife.

someone447
04-15-2007, 05:38 PM
I have a wife.

We said an accomplishment you are proud of, I don't think losing all right to sex and being castrated is something to be proud of :-D

jballa838
04-15-2007, 05:39 PM
I'm kind of a big deal, people know me. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
plus i piss excellence

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:40 PM
We said an accomplishment you are proud of, I don't think losing all right to sex and being castrated is something to be proud of :-D

That's why I self-love so much.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 05:41 PM
That's why I self-love so much.

Self loving is the way to go.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 05:43 PM
We said an accomplishment you are proud of, I don't think losing all right to sex and being castrated is something to be proud of :-D

At least he has something to have sex with on a regular basis. It's more than I can say right now.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 05:44 PM
At least he has something to have sex with on a regular basis. It's more than I can say right now.
gotta love the usage of the word "something." haha

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 05:44 PM
I ran 10 miles in 70 minutes.
walked 25 miles with 40 pounds on my back
I walked 12 miles in under 2 and half hours with 40 pounds on my back
jumped out of a plane over 40 times
got engaged
I lifted a semi off of a trapped child with one hand while stopping a bank robbery with my other and still managed to pose for a picture that appeared in GQ magazine.


Ok, that last one isn't true, but still.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 05:46 PM
gotta love the usage of the word "something." haha

Well when you get married, your spouse becomes more of an object than anything else. ;)

duckseason
04-15-2007, 05:48 PM
Well when you get married, your spouse becomes more of an object than anything else. ;)
Can't argue with that. It's when her title morphs from *insert name* to "woman."

Jay
04-15-2007, 05:50 PM
-I've had photos published in a few magazines, newspapers, CD's and websites.
-Kerry King's wife once pulled down her pants and underwear to show me a tattoo
-I rode in an elevator with Ol Dirty Bastard in Miami at a parking garage and he had a gun and two white hookers with enormous, memorex titties.
-I ran into Manny Ramirez at a mall in Tampa and gave him a high five and the next day he requested a trade. I blame myself.

That's all I got at the moment...

gbpackers0065
04-15-2007, 05:54 PM
I invented the question mark

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 05:55 PM
I made through an entire Vikings season without killing myself.

Staubach12
04-15-2007, 05:57 PM
I'm awesome.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 05:59 PM
Can't argue with that. It's when her title morphs from *insert name* to "woman."

Haha! :D

I admire Vikes though, I've had enough trouble trying to get a girlfriend. See the "What Approach Do You Take" Thread.

someone447
04-15-2007, 06:04 PM
I made through an entire Vikings season without killing myself.

If I was a Vikings fan I would have killed myself 20 years and 7 months ago.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 06:06 PM
If I was a Vikings fan I would have killed myself 20 years and 7 months ago.

I don't know what happened then, but sure, I'll run with it.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 06:09 PM
I don't know what happened then, but sure, I'll run with it.
I'm assuming it was his birth.

LitoSheppard
04-15-2007, 06:14 PM
Discovered my great basketball skills and I'm going NBA in a few years :)

DChess
04-15-2007, 06:17 PM
almost done with one year of school

ny10804
04-15-2007, 06:18 PM
Word to the wise: NEVER use shampoo as, you know...

WMD
04-15-2007, 06:20 PM
I pretty much know all of the dialogue in "A Christmas Story".

bored of education
04-15-2007, 06:21 PM
If I could toot my own horn, I'd never the leave my apartment.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 06:21 PM
Word to the wise: NEVER use shampoo as, you know...

Or rubbing alcohol.

I went to a Sox game about 5 years ago and we all painted our chests and faces. Well it was like this permanent crap that I couldn't get off. So I brough out the rubbing alcohol, which did in fact get it off but the bad part was when it dripped down to my man region. I don't think I've ever been so much pain in my life. It hurt like a sonna biotch.

Oh, and I got a full ride scholarship to play soccer at my college. I guess I'll toot my horn about that! The crappy part is that I'll only get the scholarship for a semester b/c it's a two year school, and I'll be a sophomore next season. :(

TPFKA#1SaintsFan
04-15-2007, 06:25 PM
I'm hung like an infant.

An infant with a freakishly large and fully developed trouser snake.

bored of education
04-15-2007, 06:27 PM
I'm hung like an infant.

An infant with a freakishly large and fully developed trouser snake.

Ahh you must suffer from the Napoleonic Wang Complex.

GB12
04-15-2007, 06:29 PM
I have started 13 games on my grade 4 pee wee football team. I have 46 tackles and 5 sacks. My dad keeps stats.

Boston
04-15-2007, 06:32 PM
I have started 13 games on my grade 4 pee wee football team. I have 46 tackles and 5 sacks. My dad keeps stats.

All while playing all 11 positions on defense, of course?

someone447
04-15-2007, 06:35 PM
Or rubbing alcohol.

I went to a Sox game about 5 years ago and we all painted our chests and faces. Well it was like this permanent crap that I couldn't get off. So I brough out the rubbing alcohol, which did in fact get it off but the bad part was when it dripped down to my man region. I don't think I've ever been so much pain in my life. It hurt like a sonna biotch.

Oh, and I got a full ride scholarship to play soccer at my college. I guess I'll toot my horn about that! The crappy part is that I'll only get the scholarship for a semester b/c it's a two year school, and I'll be a sophomore next season. :(

So kick ass and get a scholarship to a 4 year school after it.

Freddy G
04-15-2007, 06:37 PM
I scored a hat trick in a soccer game when i was a Jr...and lost my virginity in the same night (totally unrelated to the soccer game, so it must have been my lucky day).

I can make the greatest fake fart noise of all time with my hands.

My quads are amazing.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 06:38 PM
So kick ass and get a scholarship to a 4 year school after it.

We'll see. I want to go to Colombia College in Chicago and they don't have sports.

jag
04-15-2007, 06:39 PM
My quads are amazing.

He's not lying.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 06:44 PM
kl ;plosxtgfed wsith m yh elbows. (it's hard)

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 06:50 PM
I just realized I havent masturbated in 6 days. Is it possible to get sick of it?????

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 06:52 PM
I just realized I havent masturbated in 6 days. Is it possible to get sick of it?????

I don't know... is it possible to get sick of having the best time of your life?

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 06:57 PM
Ok preference fellas:

A) Having sex with a special lady friend

B) Jackin your Johnson

Personally, I love option B, but I have to go with A here.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 06:58 PM
Ok preference fellas:

A) Having sex with a special lady friend

B) Jackin your Johnson

Personally, I love option B, but I have to go with A here.

Your Johnson doesn't bother the hell out of you when you're trying to watch a football game.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 06:58 PM
Ok preference fellas:

A) Having sex with a special lady friend

B) Jackin your Johnson

Personally, I love option B, but I have to go with A here.

I am gonna say A. Depends on how tight the vagina is though. Or the bumhole if you're dirty unlike me.

someone447
04-15-2007, 07:00 PM
Your Johnson doesn't bother the hell out of you when you're trying to watch a football game.

Neither does a random.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 07:01 PM
Your Johnson doesn't bother the hell out of you when you're trying to watch a football game.

Good point. But sex is the apex of all sexual feeling. Masterbation does feel good, don't get me wrong, but in my experience nothing is better than having sex with a girl, especially one you like.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 07:01 PM
I am gonna say A. Depends on how tight the vagina is though. Or the bumhole if you're dirty unlike me.

Dude that's a sig quote, haha.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 07:02 PM
Neither does a random.

I think I'd rather go shopping with a boner than a chick.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 07:02 PM
Good point. But sex is the apex of all sexual feeling. Masterbation does feel good, don't get me wrong, but in my experience nothing is better than having sex with a girl, especially one you like.

But at the same time you cant have sex with a girl I know too well.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 07:03 PM
almost done with one year of school

So how did Kindergarten go?

SuperKevin
04-15-2007, 07:03 PM
I may be the most influential and controversial MS Paint artist since the late great Andy Rothstein back in 2003.

Oh and going back to the beginning of this thread and I also enjoy masturbation......a lot.....a whole lot. It's actually quite unhealthy

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 07:05 PM
I may be the most influential and controversial MS Paint artist since the late great Andy Rothstein back in 2003.

Its Super Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woah, your rep went from 1 (2) 3 in like a week. Good Job.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 07:05 PM
But at the same time you cant have sex with a girl I know too well.

Oh yes I can. Also, randoms suck balls. I mean you aren't even thinking about sex and it just pops up.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 07:06 PM
I may be the most influential and controversial MS Paint artist since the late great Andy Rothstein back in 2003.

Oh and going back to the beginning of this thread and I also enjoy masturbation......a lot.....a whole lot. It's actually quite unhealthy

That's strange. From what I hear, it's actually quite beneficial to jerk the gerkin a good three to five times a day.

sweetness34
04-15-2007, 07:07 PM
That's strange. From what I hear, it's actually quite beneficial to jerk the gerkin a good three to five times a day.

You're right Vikes. I've read that masterbation is quite healthy for you. I guess it gets rid of all the backed up semen if you aren't sexually active on a regular basis.

Big Mike
04-15-2007, 07:07 PM
Oh yes I can. Also, randoms suck balls. I mean you aren't even thinking about sex and it just pops up.

I commend you for that then. If I've known a person for so long, i couldnt do nothing with them unless they're my girl. Same with those goodie girls, its alsoeasier with the girls who are horny and want it more than you do. Sadly thats rare... unless you know a pornstar:)

DChess
04-15-2007, 07:09 PM
So how did Kindergarten go?

the finger painting final was a *****

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 07:10 PM
I heard that if you're a boxer, masturbating is bad for you. Apparently it takes away your tension and aggressiveness.

bantx
04-15-2007, 07:10 PM
i read a picture book the other day.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 07:13 PM
I commend you for that then. If I've known a person for so long, i couldnt do nothing with them unless they're my girl. Same with those goodie girls, its alsoeasier with the girls who are horny and want it more than you do. Sadly thats rare... unless you know a pornstar:)
ALL girls are horny. They just like to keep that fact hidden for fear of seeming slutty. The rare ones you speak of are the ones who don't care, or are too dumb to realize the way they come across.

SuperKevin
04-15-2007, 07:14 PM
ALL girls are horny. They just like to keep that fact hidden for fear of seeming slutty. The rare ones you speak of are the ones who don't care, or are too dumb to realize the way they come across.

I wish you could convince my wife that girls are ALWAYS horny

someone447
04-15-2007, 07:16 PM
Also, randoms suck balls. I mean you aren't even thinking about sex and it just pops up.

Ok, I think you guys misconstrued what I was talking about. Random sex partners don't bother you when the game is on. And yes, they do suck balls, random head is ******* awesome, it is all dirty pornstar style.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 07:17 PM
ALL girls are horny. They just like to keep that fact hidden for fear of seeming slutty. The rare ones you speak of are the ones who don't care, or are too dumb to realize the way they come across.

I have a hard time thinking that the wierd, fat girl who is always reading books in the corner of my cafeteria is horny, but hey, anything's possible.

SuperKevin
04-15-2007, 07:19 PM
I have a hard time thinking that the wierd, fat girl who is always reading books in the corner of my cafeteria is horny, but hey, anything's possible.

She's probably the horniest of them all because she knows nobody will ever sleep with her

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 07:20 PM
She's probably the horniest of them all because she knows nobody will ever sleep with her

... except for maybe Frodo Baggins.

bantx
04-15-2007, 07:20 PM
She's probably the horniest of them all because she knows nobody will ever sleep with her

shes probably like this girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qayupJHL5BI

SuperKevin
04-15-2007, 07:21 PM
... except for maybe Frodo Baggins.

Dude Frodo and Sam are totally *** for each other

someone447
04-15-2007, 07:27 PM
ALL girls are horny. They just like to keep that fact hidden for fear of seeming slutty. The rare ones you speak of are the ones who don't care, or are too dumb to realize the way they come across.

That is completely true, the biggest difference is that because many guys have a hard time getting laid, they will **** anything that moves. (Hell, I get laid a good amount and if I am drunk I will **** anything that moves.) All decently attractive girls have more options than most guys, therefore, they can be more picky on who they sleep with. 20 guys and 20 year old girls have about the same amount of sex. However, the average 20 year old girl has more sex than the average 20 year old guy. How is that possible you ask? 10% of the guys do 90% of the *******. The girls are more evenly spread out.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 07:27 PM
I wish you could convince my wife that girls are ALWAYS horny

My bad bro. I'll try to ease up on her so she has a bit more of it to display around you. j/p
Not that it's my business, but has sex become routine for you guys? Like a chore? That could be the problem. Just run up on her when she's bending over in front of the dryer. She'll love the spontaneity and be all up on it.

bantx
04-15-2007, 07:28 PM
My bad bro. I'll try to ease up on her so she has a bit more of it to display around you. j/p
Not that it's my business, but has sex become routine for you guys? Like a chore? That could be the problem. Just run up on her when she's bending over in front of the dryer. She'll love the spontaneity and be all up on it.

lol pounce on her

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 08:01 PM
I wish I could be around the girls you know, Duckseason.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 08:18 PM
I wish I could be around the girls you know, Duckseason.
I would assume that you are. There is the rare girl who may have been traumatized or something to the point where she has convinced herself that sex is evil, but other than that all girls are perpetually horny. Just like us. They think about sex all day, and masturbate just like you do. The surface level appearance is not the true measure of what's going on in a girls head. Most of them opt to play the role of little miss innocent in hopes of being coveted more highly by males. That's just nature. You've got to realize it's just a facade, and at most, play along for a bit if you need to. I usually just bulldoze it right off the bat, and let it be known that I know what goes on between her thighs. You definitely don't want to follow the mirage into the desert.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 08:36 PM
I can give a killer blow job!!!!!!

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 08:37 PM
I can give a killer blow job!!!!!!

I think it's time for the Awkward Turtle!

Shiver
04-15-2007, 08:47 PM
Speaking of ... My best friend one time swapped out the lotion with mayonnaises, for a joke, and I didn't notice. He was laughing hysterically when he found out about that.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 08:48 PM
Speaking of ... My best friend one time swapped out the lotion with mayonnaises, for a joke, and I didn't notice. He was laughing hysterically when he found out about that.

That's just gross.

someone447
04-15-2007, 08:53 PM
I would assume that you are. There is the rare girl who may have been traumatized or something to the point where she has convinced herself that sex is evil, but other than that all girls are perpetually horny. Just like us. They think about sex all day, and masturbate just like you do. The surface level appearance is not the true measure of what's going on in a girls head. Most of them opt to play the role of little miss innocent in hopes of being coveted more highly by males. That's just nature. You've got to realize it's just a facade, and at most, play along for a bit if you need to. I usually just bulldoze it right off the bat, and let it be known that I know what goes on between her thighs. You definitely don't want to follow the mirage into the desert.

Unless they have been raped/molested/brought up in a strict religious home and bought into it, they are all just looking to get laid, just like guys.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 08:54 PM
This thread is growing like a pube on steroids.

DChess
04-15-2007, 08:54 PM
Speaking of ... My best friend one time swapped out the lotion with mayonnaises, for a joke, and I didn't notice. He was laughing hysterically when he found out about that.

ahha thats great

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:07 PM
I ate four spicy beef and bean burritos, and I ended the night with only three trips to the bathroom.

MP123
04-15-2007, 09:13 PM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

I don't believe. An addict couldn't do that. And I'm surprised the word "masturbate" isn't edited.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 09:13 PM
An accomplishment of mine is that I rarely get gas after I eat double digits of Whtie Castle burgers.

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 09:18 PM
An accomplishment of mine is that I rarely get gas after I eat double digits of Whtie Castle burgers.

I consider that a huge accomplishment, considering White Castle burgers.

Jimmy
04-15-2007, 09:19 PM
y are there no white castles in CT

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:23 PM
y are there no white castles in CT

Not rich enough.

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 09:23 PM
y are there no white castles in CT

I don't know, why? Oh, I figured there was punchline to that, like "because of all the hookers!" or something.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:24 PM
THIS IS NOT A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I once went 24 hours without jacking off... NO LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 09:24 PM
y are there no white castles in CT

Because White Castle execs don't care about Connecticut.

Bengals1690
04-15-2007, 09:29 PM
has anyone else ever beat off with their left hand? damn that was tough.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 09:31 PM
has anyone else ever beat off with their left hand? damn that was tough.

Are you seriously that ignorant to think that lefties don't masturbate with their left hand?

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:33 PM
has anyone else ever beat off with their left hand? damn that was tough.

I'm a righty, but I stroke with my left.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 09:33 PM
has anyone else ever beat off with their left hand? damn that was tough.

Nope. And I'm a lefty. I think it's because the first time I ever did it, I needed my left hand to turn the pages.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:34 PM
has anyone else ever beat off with their left hand? damn that was tough.

I once broken my finger in 3 places..And had to beat off with my left hand for like a month! It was a b****







(I'm really not lieing this time)

Bengals1690
04-15-2007, 09:35 PM
Are you seriously that ignorant to think that lefties don't masturbate with their left hand?

i mean, the hand you are least comfortable using of course.

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:35 PM
I once broken my finger in 3 places..And had to beat off with my left hand for like a month! It was a b****







(I'm really not lieing this time)

Dude, just think, if you had no hands... that would suck.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 09:37 PM
Dude, just think, if you had no hands... that would suck.

You could use some sort of a mechanical device to beat yourself off

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 09:38 PM
You could use your nubs I guess.

Jimmy
04-15-2007, 09:39 PM
Because White Castle execs don't care about Connecticut.

well i promise you connecticut cares about white castle

Jimmy
04-15-2007, 09:39 PM
on a second note, how ******* funny are those threads cartman made

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:40 PM
Dude, just think, if you had no hands... that would suck.

That would suck...How would i beable to warp woman up with rope and rape them, with no hands????? What a crapping life that would be!!!!!!!!!

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:40 PM
You could use some sort of a mechanical device to beat yourself off

Too... much... work...

Jimmy
04-15-2007, 09:42 PM
That would suck...How would i beable to warp woman up with rope and rape them, with no hands????? What a crapping life that would be!!!!!!!!!

i had to

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i187/joynorris/you_gonna_get_raped.jpg

Vikes99ej
04-15-2007, 09:43 PM
i had to

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i187/joynorris/you_gonna_get_raped.jpg

That used to be my MSN picture.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:43 PM
i had to

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i187/joynorris/you_gonna_get_raped.jpg

I'd hit it!

Jimmy
04-15-2007, 09:45 PM
I'd hit it!
lol... i wonder who the poor guy is in real life
+ rep time.

Bengals1690
04-15-2007, 09:46 PM
i have dated my girl for 10 months and we havent had sex yet?

wait...nvm

757Dawg
04-15-2007, 09:48 PM
Bowled a 300.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:50 PM
i have dated my girl for 10 months and we havent had sex yet?

wait...nvm

Really? I had sex with your girl twice last night.......I know have Aids :*(

Make sure you wrap it up tight!

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 09:51 PM
i have dated my girl for 10 months and we havent had sex yet?

wait...nvm

I'm not sure if that's an accomplishment or a reason for suicide.

draftguru151
04-15-2007, 09:51 PM
So toot your own horn is the new name for jerking off?

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 09:53 PM
So toot your own horn is the new name for jerking off?

Seems that way.

BuckNaked
04-15-2007, 09:56 PM
So toot your own horn is the new name for jerking off?

Nice to see you caught on, tooting somebody else's horn would be a handjob.

someone447
04-15-2007, 09:57 PM
Well, here is the shuttle I ran
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkSIkdZ93Es

I'll get the other when it posts.

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 09:57 PM
I'm not sure if that's an accomplishment or a reason for suicide.


Fat/ugly = Accomplishment

Hot = Reason for suicide

Bengals1690
04-15-2007, 09:59 PM
i cant take it much longer. my girl is so fine but she wont let me hit it ive tried so hard. o well.

someone447
04-15-2007, 10:00 PM
i cant take it much longer. my girl is so fine but she wont let me hit it ive tried so hard. o well.

Then end it, plenty of other fish in the sea, to use a tired cliche.

Bengals1690
04-15-2007, 10:01 PM
Then end it, plenty of other fish in the sea, to use a tired cliche.

i know. but idk. whilst not having sex with her, i fell in love. damnit

KILLERSANTA
04-15-2007, 10:02 PM
i know. but idk. whilst not having sex with her, i fell in love. damnit
Love is a made up word by man to make woman happy....It doesn't really mean anytime ;)

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 10:07 PM
i know. but idk. whilst not having sex with her, i fell in love. damnit

Sucks to be you then. Hopefully if you guys get married in the future, you don't find out that you're sexually incompatible once it's too late.

duckseason
04-15-2007, 10:19 PM
Well, here is the shuttle I ran
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkSIkdZ93Es

I'll get the other when it posts.
Pretty quick out there.
Beware though, your flowing mane will likely be a major turn on for some the guys around here.

someone447
04-15-2007, 10:22 PM
Pretty quick out there.
Beware though, your flowing mane will likely be a major turn on for some the guys around here.

It's my curse, both guys and girls love my hair. I went to a Cross Canadien Ragweed concert the other day, 3 girls and a guy commented on my hair. Flattering, but slightly disturbing.

Unfortunately I didn't have a good view of my 40.

steelersfan43
04-15-2007, 10:25 PM
your mom was tooting my horn last night :p


funny thread.

tEk
04-15-2007, 10:27 PM
what do you guys call it when a girl "toots her horn"?

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 10:30 PM
dehydrating the jerky. I know, kind of redundant.

Nightmares Win 6-0
04-15-2007, 10:34 PM
i know. but idk. whilst not having sex with her, i fell in love. damnit

tell her she would do it if she really loved you...

works every time...

someone447
04-15-2007, 10:50 PM
i know. but idk. whilst not having sex with her, i fell in love. damnit

Tell her that yes, sex is an important part of any mature relationship. That it is natural and if done with the right intentions, a good thing(even if that is just some ********, it is good even if done for the wrong reasons, sex is always good.)

critesy
04-15-2007, 10:52 PM
i ran the 20 yard shuttle in 4.59, 4.59 and 4.50 last week. i was pretty proud of that :)

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
04-15-2007, 10:58 PM
I impregnated a convent of nuns in Tuscany. Years later, the babies those nuns ejected became the '72 Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in Pro Football History.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
04-15-2007, 11:00 PM
Bowled a 300.

I bowled a 450. In five pin.

ironman4579
04-15-2007, 11:01 PM
I impregnated a convent of nuns in Tuscany. Years later, the babies those nuns ejected became the '72 Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in Pro Football History.

Yea, well you know Mary, mother of Jesus? That wasn't no virgin birth, let me tell you.

someone447
04-15-2007, 11:05 PM
Here is my 3 cone:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbWO8839lVY

VoteLynnSwan
04-15-2007, 11:18 PM
Here is my 3 cone:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbWO8839lVY

i like the cell phone in the background...

DaBears9654
04-16-2007, 09:46 AM
Yesterday on my day off, I went into the Rock Springs, Wyoming, Staples and had an Associate of the Month award laminated.

Vikes99ej
04-16-2007, 10:02 AM
I end a term in College Calculus with only a C+.

ricky bobby
04-16-2007, 10:05 AM
I end a term in College Calculus with only a C+.

I'm very proud of you.

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 10:08 AM
i am moving into a house with some roomates on the weekend of the draft. so i don't really know if that is an accomplishment because i am going to miss the draft, but in the sense of responsibility, it is an accomplishment.

Vikes99ej
04-16-2007, 10:13 AM
I'm very proud of you.

I wish my dad would tell me that...

luckyjackaubrey
04-16-2007, 10:51 AM
I just tooted my own horn and I don't think anyone here at the library really appreciated the taco pot pourri...

gbpackers0065
04-16-2007, 11:48 AM
Weird how a thread about masturbation is this popular annd mine about homophobia got locked and i got an infraction

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 11:50 AM
Weird how a thread about masturbation is this popular annd mine about homophobia got locked and i got an infraction

thats mainly because homophobia could be offensive to somebody on here. not everybody is *** but every guy on this site and his mother masterbates.

p.s. i like gina.

someone447
04-16-2007, 11:57 AM
It wasn't supposed to be about masturbation.

tEk
04-16-2007, 11:57 AM
enough tooting of your horns. just zip up your pants and stop typing.

gbpackers0065
04-16-2007, 12:00 PM
thats mainly because homophobia could be offensive to somebody on here. not everybody is *** but every guy on this site and his mother masterbates.

p.s. i like gina.

i havent in a couple years

someone447
04-16-2007, 12:10 PM
i havent in a couple years

Either people admit it, or they are lying. Unless of course, you have no sex drive whatsoever. I do it regardless if I have been having lots of sex or not.

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 12:12 PM
i havent in a couple years

then you need to get something checked out. even if you have a sex hungry wife, there should be a couple of times a year when she is out of town or you are or something and you want to reminisce about the old days.

gbpackers0065
04-16-2007, 12:13 PM
then you need to get something checked out. even if you have a sex hungry wife, there should be a couple of times a year when she is out of town or you are or something and you want to reminisce about the old days.

I am not married and have at least 2 one-night-stands a week

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 12:13 PM
Either people admit it, or they are lying. Unless of course, you have no sex drive whatsoever. I do it regardless if I have been having lots of sex or not.

exactly, sometimes you do it just to make it go away. other times well......regardless every guy does it.

22,895
04-16-2007, 02:25 PM
I was actually Master of My Domain for three days. It was crazy. Never do that again.

Jimmy
04-16-2007, 02:32 PM
i know this the toot your own horn thread but how bout toot somebody elses horn and show a little respect even if it is for the day.. the hour.. half an hour

i made this sig.. .just thought it would be sort of a small way to pay resepcts


http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o94/jgbiii/nfldcsig-1.jpg

Big Mike
04-16-2007, 02:33 PM
i know this the toot your own horn thread but how bout toot somebody elses horn and show a little respect even if it is for the day.. the hour.. half an hour

i made this sig.. .just thought it would be sort of a small way to pay resepcts


http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o94/jgbiii/nfldcsig-1.jpg

respect to you

Big Mike
04-16-2007, 02:34 PM
Either people admit it, or they are lying. Unless of course, you have no sex drive whatsoever. I do it regardless if I have been having lots of sex or not.

When did you guys all start. I started at age 14.

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 02:38 PM
When did you guys all start. I started at age 14.

in the womb.......yes i know i stole it.

Vikes99ej
04-16-2007, 03:24 PM
When did you guys all start. I started at age 14.

14 or 15 years.

Go_Eagles77
04-16-2007, 03:26 PM
When did you guys all start. I started at age 14.

15 for me, very helpful in the latter stages of puberty.

Philliez01
04-16-2007, 03:27 PM
When did you guys all start. I started at age 14.

13. '

someone447
04-16-2007, 03:59 PM
I cannot honestly remember. I don't care how many times you have sex a week, even when I had a girlfriend and we were having sex 10-15 times a week at least, I still jacked off 5-7 times a week. But then again, I am constantly horny, so I may be an exception.

PalmerToCJ
04-16-2007, 04:02 PM
I cannot honestly remember. I don't care how many times you have sex a week, even when I had a girlfriend and we were having sex 10-15 times a week at least, I still jacked off 5-7 times a week. But then again, I am constantly horny, so I may be an exception.

My god, I'm guessing you didn't have a job? How did you make time for all of this lol

someone447
04-16-2007, 04:04 PM
My god, I'm guessing you didn't have a job? How did you make time for all of this lol

College student, class from 9-noon and nothing to do the rest of the day. Plus it is easy to find 5 minutes to get some self love in. The sex was also easy, if I was going to be spending time with her, we were having sex.

tEk
04-16-2007, 04:11 PM
College student, class from 9-noon and nothing to do the rest of the day. Plus it is easy to find 5 minutes to get some self love in. The sex was also easy, if I was going to be spending time with her, we were having sex.sounds heavenly.

terribletowel39
04-16-2007, 04:13 PM
sounds heavenly.

sounds like chlamydia to me. :D

Boston
04-16-2007, 04:16 PM
sounds like chlamydia to me. :D

Sounds like somebodies going to die.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
04-16-2007, 04:40 PM
yo someone447, can I have her number? Lol.

Anyway, I've been doing it(well sorta) since I was real young. I experimented around and it felt good, not really knowing what i was doing, until one day when i was like 12, stuff came out i was like wtf?

Bigbadbob72
04-17-2007, 12:19 AM
I cannot honestly remember. I don't care how many times you have sex a week, even when I had a girlfriend and we were having sex 10-15 times a week at least, I still jacked off 5-7 times a week. But then again, I am constantly horny, so I may be an exception.

Why did you end this relationship?

Ward
04-17-2007, 12:23 AM
Why did you end this relationship?

Ouch. Touchy subject for someone447

Bigbadbob72
04-17-2007, 01:18 AM
Ouch. Touchy subject for someone447

it seems so perfect for a man i dont know why you would end it. dont answer if you dont want.

Addict
04-17-2007, 02:45 AM
sounds like chlamydia to me. :D

He already said heavenly.

someone447
04-17-2007, 03:20 AM
it seems so perfect for a man i dont know why you would end it. dont answer if you dont want.

Meh, its been a year, no longer a touchy subject. In fact, it was the best thing she ever did for me. She cheated on me.

drowe
04-17-2007, 09:09 AM
wow, this thread is great...because seriously, there are 2 kinds of people in the world: people who beat off and people who don't have arms.


as far as when i started...i dunno....i always liked to play...then, one time, i made a mess.


as far as doing it now...hah. pregnant wife....figure it out.

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 09:55 AM
wow, this thread is great...because seriously, there are 2 kinds of people in the world: people who beat off and people who don't have arms.


as far as when i started...i dunno....i always liked to play...then, one time, i made a mess.


as far as doing it now...hah. pregnant wife....figure it out.

i've heard that pregnant pooty is the best b/c of the hormones and the woman being so hungry for the man meat. is this true??

drowe
04-17-2007, 09:58 AM
i've heard that pregnant pooty is the best b/c of the hormones and the woman being so hungry for the man meat. is this true??


i'll let ya know. :(

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 10:01 AM
i'll let ya know. :(

haha ok deal. but make it detailed. ;)

ironman4579
04-17-2007, 10:13 AM
Don't forget the special pregnant lady sex positions for when she's ready to pop either.

JPLUFF
04-17-2007, 10:23 AM
I masturbated 12 times in an hour.

What? If I do it once I'm ready for some Taco Bell and a nap.

villagewarrior
04-17-2007, 03:59 PM
I skipped all 8 pages just to say this:

I invented the question mark.

I hope nobody beat me to it.

gbpackers0065
04-17-2007, 04:04 PM
I skipped all 8 pages just to say this:

I invented the question mark.

I hope nobody beat me to it.

sorry to ruin your day but check page 2

duckseason
04-17-2007, 04:05 PM
i've heard that pregnant pooty is the best b/c of the hormones and the woman being so hungry for the man meat. is this true??

It's also hotter, tighter, and the titties are bigger.

BuckNaked
04-17-2007, 04:05 PM
yo someone447, can I have her number? Lol.

Anyway, I've been doing it(well sorta) since I was real young. I experimented around and it felt good, not really knowing what i was doing, until one day when i was like 12, stuff came out i was like wtf?

Let us toast to that. Isn't this how it began for all of us?

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 04:11 PM
It's also hotter, tighter, and the titties are bigger.

greatness.

DChess
04-17-2007, 04:12 PM
Meh, its been a year, no longer a touchy subject. In fact, it was the best thing she ever did for me. She cheated on me.

damn how horny can you be

BuckNaked
04-17-2007, 04:13 PM
damn how horny can you be

Horny enough to get off to his girlfriend getting banged by some other guy.

gbpackers0065
04-17-2007, 04:15 PM
sounds heavenly.

sweet ive been sig-quoted

M.O.T.H.
04-17-2007, 04:15 PM
Don't toot your own horn... you'll make god cry.

someone447
04-17-2007, 04:29 PM
damn how horny can you be

heh, well by that time the sex had tapered off A LOT. It was going to end soon anyway, neither of us had enough guts to just straight up end it though. I went out of town for a week, and she ****** the guy the first night I was gone.

BuckNaked
04-17-2007, 04:35 PM
heh, well by that time the sex had tapered off A LOT. It was going to end soon anyway, neither of us had enough guts to just straight up end it though. I went out of town for a week, and she ****** the guy the first night I was gone.

kids these days......

Notredameleo
04-17-2007, 04:39 PM
Great thread

gbpackers0065
04-17-2007, 05:17 PM
i have a big horn:
http://www.tuba.is.nl/tubas/giant.gif

Vikes99ej
04-17-2007, 05:36 PM
I actually made it through an entire song on Guitar Hero.

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 05:43 PM
I actually made it through an entire song on Guitar Hero.

haha you went out and got it?? i forgot and i don't have the monetary funds to complete such a transaction at the moment. is it that hard??

someone447
04-17-2007, 05:46 PM
haha you went out and got it?? i forgot and i don't have the monetary funds to complete such a transaction at the moment. is it that hard??

When you first start playing it is real hard, but once you get the hang of hammer on and pull offs it gets a lot better. Some songs on expert are still incredibly hard though.

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 05:52 PM
When you first start playing it is real hard, but once you get the hang of hammer on and pull offs it gets a lot better. Some songs on expert are still incredibly hard though.

yea well i have played it a bit. although i have no idea what you are talking about when you say "hammer on" and "pull offs" - are those bedroom terms??

LitoSheppard
04-17-2007, 06:00 PM
the finger painting final was a *****

nice..lmao

Vikes99ej
04-17-2007, 06:03 PM
I'm talking about on Hard. It's pretty easy to get a 5-star on medium.

scottyboy
04-17-2007, 06:28 PM
i went into the giants locker room after the big playoff win over the vikings in a blowout 41-0. before that Jesse Armstead gave me an autographed football of the starters for christmas.

Vikes99ej
04-17-2007, 07:03 PM
i went into the giants locker room after the big playoff win over the vikings in a blowout 41-0. before that Jesse Armstead gave me an autographed football of the starters for christmas.

Were you a Make-A-Wish kid or what?

terribletowel39
04-17-2007, 07:05 PM
Were you a Make-A-Wish kid or what?

i can't tell if this is a joke or you being serious, i also don't know if he is or not, so i will just say yea are you??

scottyboy
04-17-2007, 07:20 PM
haha no seriously im not. my aunt is a travel agent for many players in the NFL. armstead was here best client when he was playing, and actually was a pretty good friend of mine.

villagewarrior
04-17-2007, 07:21 PM
sorry to ruin your day but check page 2

eh, you win some you lose some.

someone447
04-17-2007, 07:46 PM
yea well i have played it a bit. although i have no idea what you are talking about when you say "hammer on" and "pull offs" - are those bedroom terms??

Do the tutorial, I don't know enough about music to be able to correctly explain them. The best way I can say is when the notes are closer than the lines, you don't need to use the fret to hit the notes.

Bigbadbob72
04-19-2007, 01:20 AM
we need more people to toot their horn.

Dam8610
04-20-2007, 02:06 AM
I'm kind of a big deal, people know me. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

I - I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too. He comes over...on occasion. It's stupid really.

BlindSite
04-20-2007, 04:16 AM
I once ****** one of my best mates sisters on his bed, during his birthday party.

Jimmy
04-20-2007, 06:37 AM
i sat next to ms mcnabb at the draft 2 years ago

Vikes99ej
04-20-2007, 07:28 AM
yea well i have played it a bit. although i have no idea what you are talking about when you say "hammer on" and "pull offs" - are those bedroom terms??

Those are when you have little note at the end of a long streak. There's no black border around the note like the other, normal notes. This means that you don't have to pluck them; you just have to press the corresponding button.

someone447
04-20-2007, 11:55 AM
I once ****** one of my best mates sisters on his bed, during his birthday party.

That isn't an accomplishment, that is just being a dick.

asmitty45
04-20-2007, 02:40 PM
I got an internship at NESN (New England Sports Network) this summer.

Big Mike
04-20-2007, 02:45 PM
That isn't an accomplishment, that is just being a dick.

i hear that

Phrost
04-20-2007, 03:28 PM
Nope. Just an old leather glove. I like it rough.

LOL, Rep +

BlindSite
04-20-2007, 04:39 PM
That isn't an accomplishment, that is just being a dick.

Oh no, you haven't seen his sister.

Bengals1690
04-20-2007, 04:39 PM
Do the tutorial, I don't know enough about music to be able to correctly explain them. The best way I can say is when the notes are closer than the lines, you don't need to use the fret to hit the notes.


a hammer on is when you dont pick the string when you want to make a note, you basically hit the fret hard with your finger.

A pull off is when you have a a finger on one fret and pull it off in a downward motion, so that the note changes to the note of a lower fret you have a different finger on.


They are used to play fast, faster than with a pick. See ACDC's Thunderstruck. He doesn't pick one note in the begining, he just uses hammers and pulls.

someone447
04-20-2007, 05:13 PM
Oh no, you haven't seen his sister.

Regardless, still just being a dick.

ironman4579
04-21-2007, 01:03 PM
Not really. If your buddy doesn't mind, then why are you a dick? If she's hot, old enough, and wants that good monkey lovin', then why are you a dick? Only way I see it as being a dick is if the friend's pissed, she's underage(then you're not just a dick, you need to be beaten with a rotting corpse), or she's drunk or something. Otherwise, she's fair game.

Primetime21
04-21-2007, 01:24 PM
I have had sideline passes to almost every single Boise State for the past 4 years, and also have season tickets to the Seahawks. I have an unopened 48 pack of pop tarts in my pantry at this very moment. Dont even get me started on my Jackie Brown down South in Funkytown.

someone447
04-21-2007, 08:16 PM
Not really. If your buddy doesn't mind, then why are you a dick? If she's hot, old enough, and wants that good monkey lovin', then why are you a dick? Only way I see it as being a dick is if the friend's pissed, she's underage(then you're not just a dick, you need to be beaten with a rotting corpse), or she's drunk or something. Otherwise, she's fair game.

My guess is his friend isn't too happy about it. Especially considering it was on HIS FRIENDS BED, ON HIS FRIENDS BIRTHDAY!!!

tEk
04-22-2007, 12:51 AM
alright just thought i'd let you guys know i tooted my horn 4 times yesterday.

mfkrush
04-22-2007, 09:58 AM
I had sex with two supermodels 4 times last night after I won the lottery.

asmitty45
04-22-2007, 10:17 AM
I was on the radio in Madison Wisconsin.

BufFan71
04-22-2007, 01:36 PM
16 years old
Started my Sophmore season at Guard
5'11 240lbs
260lb bench
460 squat
5.3 Forty (i kno bad)
3.9 G.P.A

remix 6
04-22-2007, 02:27 PM
i shook Tom Brady's hand.

Zim3031
04-22-2007, 02:29 PM
i shook Tom Brady's hand.
I hope you washed it.

remix 6
04-22-2007, 02:31 PM
I hope you washed it.

no. i cut it off and put it plastic container that can never be opened

Addict
04-22-2007, 02:39 PM
I idolize bats and try to live like them. In fact, every post I have made here has been typed whilst hanging upside down from the ceiling.

It gets annoying sometimes with all the blood going to my head, but the pure sensation and fun of taking a dump on the floor every now and again makes up for the headaches.

Flyboy
04-22-2007, 03:18 PM
I've talked to Gianna Michaels, Haley Paige, and Sandra Romain on the phone before.

I've received a lapdance from Kami Andrews.

...

Whoo?

Dam8610
04-22-2007, 04:38 PM
no. i cut it off and put it plastic container that can never be opened

Well, at least you still got rid of the diseased appendage.

mfkrush
04-22-2007, 05:19 PM
i shook Tom Brady's hand.

How did you get past the 7 layers of protection?

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
04-22-2007, 05:43 PM
I sold my soul for the Devils to win the cup in 03.

steelersfan43
04-22-2007, 05:46 PM
I can hold my breath for 4 minute 26 seconds. :)

draftguru151
04-22-2007, 05:47 PM
I had sex with a polar bear, not a black bear though, because I've heard they are *****.

Naked Jehuty
04-22-2007, 11:06 PM
Ive stalked Vida Guerra for 8 months and 3 weeks before she realized it. In the end, we made that dirty, nasty love. You know, with cranberry sauce and that frosting from Dunkaroos.

DChess
04-22-2007, 11:25 PM
i kicked stuart scott in the balls and stood over him yelling boo-ya

Tubby
04-22-2007, 11:49 PM
I am Scott Wright in disguise and I always have been
Note: in case I might be breaking some sort of rule; Im not Scott Wright.

steelersfan43
04-23-2007, 02:54 AM
i eat walrus blubber