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Hi, my name is Brady Quinn and I used to play football.
Hi, my name is Brady Quinn and I'll be at the end of the bench in case you want to interview me about my backup Tim Tebow.
Hi, my name is JaMarcus Russell, how can I take your order?
Hi, my name is Sam Bradford and I'm boring.
Hi, my name is Antonio Cromartie and I forgot to pull out.
Hi, my name is Mike Vick and that is not my marijuana. And those ain't my dead dogs.
Hi, my name is Chad Johnson, look what I can do. Now, look at this. Keep looking at me. Look at me. My name has changed. It's Ochocinco and I'm going to get blanketed today and act like it never happened.
Hi, my name's Matt Jones and I have another nose bleed.
Hi, my name is Fred Thomas and you're gonna kill it in your fantasy league today.
Hi, my name is Brett Favre and this will be my last year. I'd say there is 50% chance I don't come back next year. I guarantee that. Oh, and **** it, I'm going deep into double coverage.
Hi, my name is Joe Namath and I couldn't care less about football.
Hi, my name is Derek Anderson and I can throw a football over them mountains.
Hi, my name is Jeff Fisher, and I like to string along an old owner desperate for a Superbowl ring for close to 20 years by playing such a conservative style of football that the chances I do terrible enough to get fired is very slim, but the chances I do well enough to inspire hope for next season is good, particularly given that if I do well enough to even be in the running for the playoffs late, the media, the local members of which I totally control, will make me look like a brilliant coach, because the very same dated and boring style of football I enforce makes it hard for my key players to do well individually and this confuses the league into thinking it's all me, all the while lowering expectations.