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  • creepy

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    • Originally posted by slightlyaraiderfan View Post


      creepy
      This is what happens when you have sex with your cousins people.

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      • I guess I'm an optimist -
        I say stick this on his head and tell him to clean the floor.





        2 C 5:6-8 Jakob Murphy aka themaninblack

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        • Spider-man is born.

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            • Disguised Weapons
              Posted at: 2010-02-09 06:06:07

              Original ad:
              **** Disguisable weapons wanted ****
              Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc.....
              Offering: cash, items for barter

              From Me to **********@***********.org:

              Hey,

              I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.

              Thanks,

              Mike

              From Jeff ****** to Me:

              I am. lets see what you got.

              From Me to Jeff ******:

              Jeff,

              Here you go:



              Looks like a normal spoon, right?



              Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

              I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.

              Mike

              From Jeff ****** to Me:

              that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.

              From Me to Jeff ******:

              Jeff,

              I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.

              Mike

              From Jeff ****** to Me:

              fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can **** off.

              From Me to Jeff ******:

              Jeff,

              Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:



              At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.



              Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.



              This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

              Let me know if you want any of these items.

              Thanks,

              Mike

              From Jeff ****** to Me:

              youre a ******* dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, ******** dipshit. you prob walk around with that **** too you dumb mother ******. I hope you get hit by a car. **** off, eat ****, and die.
              10 characters



              Xbox Repairman
              Posted at: 2010-01-08 12:16:03

              Original ad:
              Broken Xbox 360? Red ring of death? Disc-read error? No problem! We repair broken Xbox 360s for $50 or less. Call or email ***-***-2811 or **********@comcast.net
              From Me to **********@comcast.net:

              Hello,

              I sure hope you will be able to help me. I'm not sure what is wrong with my Xbox but it will not turn on. I've tried plugging it in to a bunch of different outlets, but none of them seem to work. Do you think you can help?

              Thanks,

              Mike

              From Dean ****** to Me:

              Hi Mike,

              The outlet most likely has nothing to do with why your system won't turn on.

              I certainly can help you though. I will rectify your xbox and can have it back to you in a week or so depending on the problem. Do you live in the area or would you like to ship the console?

              Dean

              From Me to Dean ******:

              Oh my god, you are sick! I will not let you do that unspeakable act to my Xbox. I always knew that the internet is full of freaks and sexual deviants, but you have reached a new low. I thought your ad was for Xbox repairs, but I have been horribly mistaken.

              From Dean ****** to Me:

              Mike,

              I'm not sure what you think I was saying. To rectify is to repair or mend something that is broken. I was only trying to tell you that I would repair your Xbox. I am sorry for any misunderstanding.

              Dean

              From Me to Dean ******:

              Dean,

              Don't lie to me. I know what rectify means, and the fact that you want to do it with an Xbox is disgusting. I can't even imagine how it is possible to do it with something that big, or what kind of pleasure that could possibly bring to a pervert like you. Regardless, I want my Xbox to be fixed, not to be violated and returned to me covered in ass hairs and feces. I will just mail it back to where I bought it and hope that the warranty is not void.

              Mike

              From Dean ****** to Me:

              You clearly don't know the definition of rectify. I assure you I only want to fix your system.

              From Me to Dean ******:

              Dean,

              I don't even want to know what you mean by "fix my system." Leave me alone before I call the police, you pervert.

              Mike

              From Dean ****** to Me:

              I mean I am going to solve the problem that is causing your Xbox 360 to not turn on. That is all.

              From Me to Dean ******:

              Dean,

              Even if you did return it to me and it worked, I would never be able to look at my Xbox the same way. There will always be the thought in the back of my mind that you took it and violated it.

              I am going to post an ad warning other unsuspecting victims about the true disgusting motive behind your ad. What you are doing is sick.

              Mike

              From Dean ****** to Me:

              If you do that then I will post an ad explaining that you are a ******* idiot that doesn't know what "rectify" means. Go **** yourself.
              Last edited by Bills2083; 02-10-2010, 06:25 PM.


              Originally Posted by scottyboy
              my lord...I cannot imagine such a world where I can mention Raymell Rice's thighs around a girl and not be the only one sexually aroused
              But for everyone reading this in Buffalo and Cleveland and everywhere else, take solace in the following: As crazy as it sounds, you're lucky. Your Mount Everest experience is still ahead of you. It's waiting, and it's glorious.- Bill Simmons

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              • Originally posted by BeerBaron View Post
                Hopefully this angers PETA somehow.

                What do the vikings and marijuana have in common? Every time you put them in a bowl
                they get smoked.

                2010-2011 Super Bowl Champions
                Hint:Not the Bears.

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                • Pick the Winners Champion 2008 | 2011

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                    • Some nights are just better than others.

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                      • Originally posted by Paul View Post


                        Some nights are just better than others.
                        My Avy! Reddit rocks.

                        Thanks to BoneKrusher Credit and Rep to him for the sig.

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                        • Last edited by fenikz; 02-11-2010, 02:27 AM.

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                            • Originally posted by CC.SD View Post


                              Originally posted by Scott Wright
                              Terrellezzzzzzzz Pryorzzzzzzzz!
                              Originally posted by njx9
                              do i tell you when to flip the burger?

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