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  • #31
    Originally posted by Brent View Post
    There are many other crappy stories for to waste your time with here: http://www.snopes.com/
    dont be a sour puss these are quality

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    • #32
      These are hilarious. Ballin's next story will involve some kids camping and a mysterious hook.
      The Brian Sabean sig is no more. I disagreed with you on so many levels. And then you went out and built a dynasty. I am lame.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Borat View Post
        These are hilarious. Ballin's next story will involve some kids camping and a mysterious hook.
        oh damn, i need some new material now :(

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        • #34
          STORY 3-(last one of the day for me)

          So our football team sucks ridiculously, im on it lol, and we wound up winning our opener somehow. The soccer kids basically run the parties because they can do whatever they want their coach doesnt care because he thinks theyre all gods.

          So there is a party at a football seniors house, he has beer and everything, i left because i dont drink and i was frankly not going to get any. So this senior guy who was a virgin and clearly because he acted so gay, finally got some, but they decided to leave and go to her house (i dont know why no parents were in the houses).

          So they get there, things get serious, she gets horny and asks him if he has a condum. And of course he doesnt hes a virgin. So she asks if he has lube. and he doesnt. They start doing it but it doesnt feel good. So they look for something to use, and of course they go into the fridge.

          She sees cottage cheese on the counter and they start using it. And its fine. The next day shes like having crazy orgasms in class and does know why. She finnaly goes to the nurse (she gets asked sexual stuff all the time) and asks her whats wrong. So of course the nurse asks to see her vag and takes out her gloves. She reaches in after asking her wat she did and the girl said she used cottage cheese and all.

          The nurse takes her hand out and there are maggots in her palm.
          Last edited by BaLLiN; 04-16-2009, 01:51 PM.

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          • #35
            Seriously, excellent thread Ballin. I am laughing at the fact that you seemed to have believed all these stories that people told you (although the Guts story did happen, just not to a friend of a friend). I also love that you defend these stories.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by BaLLiN72 View Post
              oh damn, i need some new material now :(
              Go with three bears leave the house and a blonde goes into the house.....you finish the rest.


              Silverback....still the best.

              +rep to Jakey for the sig

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Dr. Gonzo View Post
                Seriously, excellent thread Ballin. I am laughing at the fact that you seemed to have believed all these stories that people told you (although the Guts story did happen, just not to a friend of a friend). I also love that you defend these stories.
                hey im a believer in the creepy crawlies. plus the second one was probably made up although its possible it could happen.

                the new story is above

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                • #38
                  Congratulations Ballin, you are officially a part of NFLDC lore and will never live this down.


                  Originally posted by Scott Wright
                  Terrellezzzzzzzz Pryorzzzzzzzz!
                  Originally posted by njx9
                  do i tell you when to flip the burger?

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                  • #39
                    Here i've got a good story for you, one that I was actually around to witness. Was at a friends, bunch of people over, lots of drinking taking place. Now I have two friends notorious for passing out. Well call them Steve & Mike. Steve passed out first upstairs on the couch. So like usual, we decided to mess with him. Well Mike took it a bit far. How many of you are familiar with Dave's Insanity Sauce?



                    Well the stuff is ridiculously hot. Mike ended up pouring this sauce all over Steve's face then wandered off to the basement with some chick, most assumed they were hooking up. A little later Steve wakes up and the sauce goes immediately into his eyes as he opens them. He starts yelling and screaming rather high pitched like, wakes up my buddies roommate who was sleeping and had work in the morning. Roommate was pissed, Steve was pissed (i was entertained).

                    Shortly after this the chick who had gone downstairs with Mike comes storming back up and leaves without saying anything. One of the other guys who lives in the house goes downstairs to find Mike passed out on his bed with his pants around his ankles and his dick hanging out. Apparently he had fallen asleep mid blow job. Well Steve has an idea. We get another girl there to take the insanity sauce down stairs and rub it all over Mikes dick. Well needless to say shortly after that Mike comes sprinting up the stairs screaming and cussing about his dick. He grabs a half gallon of ice cream from the freezer and proceeds to hump & have sex with it for the next half hour.

                    To this day we still call him hot rod.

                    The end.

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                    • #40
                      I want to punch you in the mouth Ballin. If anyone knows who I am talking about, you sound exactly like Karl Pilkington (if you don't you need to listen to the podcasts he is in, rarely has anything made me laugh as much as those podcastst). This is hilarious. There is no way the ******* happened to someone you know. No ******* way.

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                      • #41
                        lol nice one peefs, not sure how you fall asleep mid blowjob though

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Dr. Gonzo View Post
                          I want to punch you in the mouth Ballin. If anyone knows who I am talking about, you sound exactly like Karl Pilkington (if you don't you need to listen to the podcasts he is in, rarely has anything made me laugh as much as those podcastst). This is hilarious. There is no way the ******* happened to someone you know. No ******* way.
                          all i have to say is, some crazy **** can happen. and Marijuanna is a hell of a drug

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by BaLLiN72 View Post
                            lol nice one peefs, not sure how you fall asleep mid blowjob though
                            The guy was infamous for passing out. Get that dude drunk and there is a 90% chance hes passing out for at least a couple hours somewhere in your house.

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by The Peefs View Post

                              The end.
                              That sauce is pretty good considering how hot it is.


                              Also, if that really happened that is awesome. I remember someone putting hot sauce in a friends ear and he got all pissed off saying "I have had an ear infection since I was 7yrs old" he was like 15-16 at the time.
                              Originally posted by SunTzu_22
                              Just let it go RWO.
                              We as Ravens fans are clearly scum of the earth, and should just be happy that these great people, who cheer for nothing than the finest, morally impeccable players, playing on the finest, most morally impeccable teams, will grace us with their presence, and words of wisdom.

                              John Wall
                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4CbQGBbUOw

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by The Peefs View Post
                                The guy was infamous for passing out. Get that dude drunk and there is a 90% chance hes passing out for at least a couple hours somewhere in your house.
                                and he still does it knowing that he'll pass out thats funny in itself or just stupid

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