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Dogs and Cats

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  • Dogs and Cats


    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    Day 983 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ********.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ..

    Thought ya'll would like that.

  • #2
    I had a 5 dollar bet in high school that I would eat a can of dog food. There is not much more degrading than that but I was very excited to do it. I am upset it never happened though.

    I did like that write up. Dogs are awesome.


    • #3
      If that doesn't explain to you why cats are better than dogs than there's just no reaching you.


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mr. Hero View Post
        If that doesn't explain to you why cats are better than dogs than there's just no reaching you.
        and what is "better" in your opinion?


        • #5
          Originally posted by BRAVEHEART View Post
          and what is "better" in your opinion?
          Not ******** > ********, is all i'm saying. A pet that has a memory will develop character, whereas a ****** is a ******.


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mr. Hero View Post
            Not ******** > ********, is all i'm saying. A pet that has a memory will develop character, whereas a ****** is a ******.
            I have a Chow Chow (dog), it's the coolest pet I've ever had. Friendly like a dog, independent and chill like a cat (also moody and douchy like a cat too :( ), and still loyal like a dog. I would call them the "cat's guy dog". Martha Stewart only has Chow's, they are a great breed.


            • #7
              My ******** pug is awesome. He seriously is mentally disable but looks so ******* hilarious that I can't not like him.


              • #8
                This confirms my beliefs that cats are nothing but lurker creepers.


                • #9
                  Dogs rule, cats **** in sand boxes.

                  by BoneKrusher
                  <DG> how metal unseen
                  <TheUnseen> Drunken Canadian Bastard: There's an APS for that


                  • #10
                    Anyone who says dogs don't have memories has never ever been in contact with a dog for more than 20 seconds. Dogs are awesome, though i like cats too, I just always had ****** luck and always got asshole cats. I'm a dog guy though. If you want a really good dog, get a mutt, they combine the best of each breed and there is a lot less chance of genetic deformities due to in-breeding.
                    Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir is a goddess

                    Rest in Peace, themaninblack


                    • #11
                      I like both but I'm more of a cat person there just great I have pretty much always had a cat my whole life.


                      • #12
                        Dogs are so much more awesome. Cats just look cute in lolcats and in reality run away and lurk in corners. Dogs are playfull and fun and so awesome. You can't ******* wrestle with your cat or play fetch/catch or football in the snow and **** I do with my awesome dog.
                        We ALL bleed scarlet
                        New York Giants Super Bowl 46 Champs
                        UNITED: I actually attend the college I root for
                        Originally posted by PalmerToCJ
                        BTW, if it's 3rd and 97... I'm throwing a screen pass to Brian Leonard and he will convert.


                        • #13
                          Hooray dogs :)


                          • #14
                            I am more of a dog person as I have 2 Great Danes, 2 Jack Russells, and my girlfriends chihuahua.
                            But I also like cats. If you get a cat while it is a kitten you can get it used to human contact that way they aren't such bitches the rest of their lives. I've had three cats before and loved most of it (minus the blinds). Not all cats are loners.
                            I've had two cats that are more like dogs than you can imagine. Always wanting to cuddle, play fetch, slept in the bed with me, and came when they were called.
                            Cats are cool too but dogs are cooler.

                            Silverback....still the best.

                            +rep to Jakey for the sig


                            • #15
                              I don't mind dogs, but I wouldn't trade my cat for any other animal. He's not your typical cat. He follows me around the house all day, sleeps on my bed every night, and is more friendly with me than any dog I've ever come into contact with. Actually, now that I think about it my cat might have an unhealthy obsession with me, lol.



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