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  • My Life is Average

    cause this website (www.mylifeisaverage.com) deserves its own thread.

    Today, I was having Thanksgiving early with my dad's side of the family. My cousin's idiot girlfriend was there, and though she's too young to drink, she insisted on making a toast. She said, "To Chris, you're the Edward to my Bella." After she sat down, my grandmother said, "Chris, dump her or I write you out of my will." I love you Grandma. MLIA

    Today at lunch, a girl I didn't know very well turned to me and said, "Do you smell cinnamon?" in a very serious manner and continued to glance around, looking for the source. She was eating a cinnamon roll. I'm worried. MLIA

    Today, while running the movie projectors for the theatre I work at, New Moon shut off suddenly. I fixed it, but it was funny when two teenage girls started crying. MLIA

    A few days ago I was sitting at my desk at work, when 2 of my co-workers came to me to help them solve a dispute. They looked me square in the eye and asked me "Was Vietnam a country or a war?" I told them it was both, and they walked away to ask someone else who "wouldn't lie to them just to get them to stop arguing." MLIA

    Today, while taking a biology test my teacher started to laugh to her self saying "those silly ninjas". I'm still confused. MLIA

    by BoneKrusher
    <DG> how metal unseen
    <TheUnseen> Drunken Canadian Bastard: There's an APS for that

  • #2
    doest come close to the epicness of textsfromlastnight.com but still entertaining


    Saints 2014 draft wish list:
    - No pass rusher till the fourth round (or preferably at all)
    - Corner or Wideout in the first
    - No reaching
    - No Kelvin Benjamin

    Comment


    • #3
      Today, while running the movie projectors for the theatre I work at, New Moon shut off suddenly. I fixed it, but it was funny when two teenage girls started crying. MLIA
      I think it was H.L. Mencken who said that nobody ever got poor by underestimating the taste of the American public.... :)

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by wicket View Post
        doest come close to the epicness of textsfromlastnight.com but still entertaining
        its a lot better.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by The Unseen View Post
          A few days ago I was sitting at my desk at work, when 2 of my co-workers came to me to help them solve a dispute. They looked me square in the eye and asked me "Was Vietnam a country or a war?" I told them it was both, and they walked away to ask someone else who "wouldn't lie to them just to get them to stop arguing." MLIA
          This... can't be real...

          Comment


          • #6
            Today, I decided to tan on the balcony. I took my top off and my neighbor came out and saw me. He's a guy. So am I. We greeted each other. MyLifeIsAverage.
            epic

            Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA
            simply epic
            Stafford Sig by touchdownrams the rest of the sig by Sig Master Bone Krusher Avy by King of all avys renji


            DEATH NOTE MAFIA SIGNUP!

            Originally posted by njx9
            oh please. as if canadians even know what beer is.

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            • #7
              Today I put all my orange tictacs into a pill bottle so people would quit asking me for one. I then proceeded to stand in front of my Chemistry teacher and ask for my test grade. When he said 98, I replied, "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" and chugged twenty tic tacs straight. The look on his face was definitely worth explaining to the counselor that i did not have issues. MLIA
              I will do this one day.



              Originally posted by Jurrell Casey
              I love light skin and white women but my main chick is brown skin

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              • #8
                Today i was walking through town and i came across a cute guy wearing the same shirt as me. I didn't find my soul mate, I didn't get his number. All i got was a weird look when i tried to high five him. MLIA
                awesomeness

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                • #9
                  Yesterday in English class we were discussing Romeo and Juliet. Suddenly a cheerleader shouts out, "Hey, Shakespeare totally stole this from that Taylor Swift song!!" Never again will I question high school stereotypes. MLIA

                  Today, in history class my teacher told us that at some point in history two countries had enough nuclear weaponry to destroy the entire earth. A girl in my class leaned forward with her mouth open in shock and asked, "Did they?" Even my teacher couldn't contain his laughter. MLIA.

                  Today at work I was interviewing a new patient and asking him some general health questions (Family History, Health Problems, Smoker/Drinker, etc) when it came to drug use. I asked "Any recent use of Narcotics, like Marijuana or Cocaine?" and he replied "I dont do cocaine, i just like how it smells." I laughed so hard i forgot to ask if he was serious. MLIA

                  Today, I realized my school blocks MLIA because of "pornographic content on the site". I'm still looking for this hidden porn. MLIA.

                  Today I went to see New Moon. Every time Jacob Black took his shirt off (which was most of the time), everybody screamed their little teenage girl hearts out. The one time Edward took his shirt off, the theater was dead silent, except for one girl who said "EW." I laughed. MLIA.

                  Two days ago, I was walking through the halls on my way to physics class. As I was walking, a guy that I had seen around but had never talked to walked up and put his arm around me (he was a senior and I am a freshmen). He was walking with another girl and he said to her. “I can’t I promised I would take my little sister out to dinner. It is her birthday tomorrow night.” The girl looked at me sadly and nodded. I played along, nodding my head. The girl walked off and the guy smiled and said “thanks! She keeps trying to get me to ask her out.” I nodded and then explained that he was now required to take me out to dinner on Friday night to return the favor. Guess who has a dinner date with a new (HOT) older brother? MLIA

                  Today I've discovered what my future occupation is: I'm going to open a pizza restaurant called Cheesus Crust. And if you order the "Noah's ark special" You get two for 1. Brilliant. MLIA.

                  by BoneKrusher
                  <DG> how metal unseen
                  <TheUnseen> Drunken Canadian Bastard: There's an APS for that

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Job View Post
                    This... can't be real...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      72.16% of americans can't locate their city or town on a map.

                      BK

                      Originally posted by AcheTen
                      JPP is a better and more productive player than Brandon Graham
                      Originally posted by abaddon41_80
                      Is Shaun Hill a top 10 QB? Definitely not. Is he a top 20 one? Almost certainly.
                      Originally posted by JBCX
                      Most misleading 10+ sack season EVER.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I just enjoyed myself watching about 20 clips of people being spectacularly dumb on gameshows


                        Saints 2014 draft wish list:
                        - No pass rusher till the fourth round (or preferably at all)
                        - Corner or Wideout in the first
                        - No reaching
                        - No Kelvin Benjamin

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Crickett View Post
                          holy crap. id still **** her

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Rosebud View Post
                            72.16% of americans can't locate their city or town on a map.
                            you for real?


                            Saints 2014 draft wish list:
                            - No pass rusher till the fourth round (or preferably at all)
                            - Corner or Wideout in the first
                            - No reaching
                            - No Kelvin Benjamin

                            Comment


                            • #15


                              "Just Win Baby"- Al Davis
                              @SirStackAlot707

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