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  • Fail 2.0

    I can't seem to find the old FAIL thread that I made. So here is an all new FAIL thread, where we can discuss all of your FAIL moments that happen to you in your recent days.

    I have a longggg story to tell. And believe it if you want..

    But I was a sophomore in high school, and I was going to a Halloween party with some of my friends. Well, I had eaten something that night that didn't agree with my stomach. So I'm sitting there the whole time, feeling extremely uncomfortable because my stomach is A) Making awkward noises, and B) I had to poop so bad. But you know the whole crappophobia thing (look it up on urban dictionary).

    So I was sitting pretty good while i was just sitting down, but then the person who was putting on the party had a scavenger hunt planned... I had to get up, and I had to walk for over 5 miles.

    It was getting to be about 9 at night, so it was really dark. I said to one of my friends, "Dude, I have to poop so bad, I don't think I can make it back to the house."

    "What? Why can't you hold it?"

    "I don't feel good man."

    So with that, In somebodies front yard, I pull my pants down and just let it fly, my friend hears the plop of the **** on the grass. And his words were "OHH man! That's nasty."

    So, I was wearing depression pants (running tights), and I pulled them up, and I started to feel the un-wiped **** smearing all over my ass, I get inside, smelling like ****, and go strait to the bathroom. I sit down, and start wiping the **** off of my ass with toilet paper. Eventually I get to wiping it off my pants, and what do you think happens next?

    Yeah...You guessed it, I flushed the toilet and it didn't flush. I don't understand why people don't put plungers next to toilets...

    So that night I became a man, and actually stuck my hand in toilet paper and water, pulled the toilet paper out and threw it in the bathtub. Did that work? Noooooo, of course not. I flushed the toilet again, and this time water started pouring out on the floor. At that point, I hollered at the owner of the house and asked about a plunger....

    And the owner of the house wasn't mad, but he was a little irritated. After this incident, I left, majorly embarrassed, because not only did I ruin their bathroom, but I also **** myself.

    FAIL? I think so.

    sig by fenikz
    Originally posted by ImBrotherCain
    You are just a terrible person.
    Originally posted by bigbluedefense
    I have an iPhone.

  • #2
    That just made my day. Just an awesome story.

    Sig by BoneKrusher

    Comment


    • #3
      Lmao, one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. I feel your pain Vikes I too have crappophobia.

      Comment


      • #4
        Very good story Vikes.
        I have no such stories - Good for me :) Bad for you :(


        Originally Posted by scottyboy
        my lord...I cannot imagine such a world where I can mention Raymell Rice's thighs around a girl and not be the only one sexually aroused
        But for everyone reading this in Buffalo and Cleveland and everywhere else, take solace in the following: As crazy as it sounds, you're lucky. Your Mount Everest experience is still ahead of you. It's waiting, and it's glorious.- Bill Simmons

        Comment


        • #5
          You gotta whipe your ass with leaves or other foliage, that is the key man. Ive taken a few outdoor shats, you gotta work with what youve got.

          Comment


          • #6
            I went home with a girl one night after a party, and we both were still a little tipsy. We started fooling around a little bit, and I knew I had to **** but I could hold it off. What I couldn't hold off what the immense amount of pressure to fart. We ended up having sex, and at some point during, it slipped and I let out the most heinous smell known to man. She said she had to go to the bathroom, and I quietly exited her apartment, called a friend and had him pick me up. Haven't heard from the girl or seen her since.


            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by The Peefs View Post
              You gotta whipe your ass with leaves or other foliage, that is the key man. Ive taken a few outdoor shats, you gotta work with what youve got.
              That's the problem...there was no leaves to do it with. They all fell off the trees. :(

              sig by fenikz
              Originally posted by ImBrotherCain
              You are just a terrible person.
              Originally posted by bigbluedefense
              I have an iPhone.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by vikes_29 View Post
                That's the problem...there was no leaves to do it with. They all fell off the trees. :(
                You could have resorted to what dogs do.
                Sit on your buttocks and slide across the rug/carpet. Or in this case, the grass.


                lol


                Originally Posted by scottyboy
                my lord...I cannot imagine such a world where I can mention Raymell Rice's thighs around a girl and not be the only one sexually aroused
                But for everyone reading this in Buffalo and Cleveland and everywhere else, take solace in the following: As crazy as it sounds, you're lucky. Your Mount Everest experience is still ahead of you. It's waiting, and it's glorious.- Bill Simmons

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by vikes_29 View Post
                  That's the problem...there was no leaves to do it with. They all fell off the trees. :(
                  Gotta find something, I used grass once just picked up clumps of it. After that I figured I already took a crap nn the guys lawn, whats the harm in using his hose to wash myself off?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    muahahahaha Cool story bro.


                    mucho props to wiscbadgerfootball


                    Originally posted by scottyboy
                    like honestly lebron, instead of south beach, why don't you take your talents and just shove them up your ass.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dude, there's so many ways you could have saved yourself that epic embarrassment.

                      1. Use your socks
                      2. Use your boxers/briefs
                      3. Use an undershirt
                      4. Man up and use your hand (if you were man enough to stick your hand in the toilet, why couldn't you wipe your ass?).

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I was having sex with this girl in my jeep, while camping. Anyways, ( continuing with the poop theme) I had to **** all of a sudden. She told me to hurry up, but then I remembered that I didn't have any toliet paper in the jeep and I didn't want to walk to the campsite. So I grabbed one of my socks and took it with me.

                        I did my business outside, and went back to the jeep and continued with the girl. Then, unfortunately, I had to poop again. This time, she was getting frustrated and told me to hurry up and to not let it happen again. So I grabbed my other sock and did my business once again.

                        Thankfully, I didn't have to **** again before finishing up with her.

                        However, the next morning, she found her socks the next morning in a bush covered in ****.

                        FAIL.

                        BoneKruser with the DOPE sig

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by JFLO View Post
                          I was having sex with this girl in my jeep, while camping. Anyways, ( continuing with the poop theme) I had to **** all of a sudden. She told me to hurry up, but then I remembered that I didn't have any toliet paper in the jeep and I didn't want to walk to the campsite. So I grabbed one of my socks and took it with me.

                          I did my business outside, and went back to the jeep and continued with the girl. Then, unfortunately, I had to poop again. This time, she was getting frustrated and told me to hurry up and to not let it happen again. So I grabbed my other sock and did my business once again.

                          Thankfully, I didn't have to **** again before finishing up with her.

                          However, the next morning, she found her socks the next morning in a bush covered in ****.

                          FAIL.
                          Were you wearing her socks?

                          Let's not make this thread poop themed, cause the last thing on this forum that was poop themed got deleted. :(

                          sig by fenikz
                          Originally posted by ImBrotherCain
                          You are just a terrible person.
                          Originally posted by bigbluedefense
                          I have an iPhone.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by vikes_29 View Post
                            Were you wearing her socks?

                            Let's not make this thread poop themed, cause the last thing on this forum that was poop themed got deleted. :(
                            No we both took them off and she must have put hers right next to mine...

                            BoneKruser with the DOPE sig

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by vikes_29 View Post
                              Were you wearing her socks?

                              Let's not make this thread poop themed, cause the last thing on this forum that was poop themed got deleted. :(

                              Oh god... i have a poop/piss story and its just aching to be told



                              Sig thanks to Bonekrusher

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