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  • Help with my research paper.

    Hey guys, this was kinda big and also I was kinda tired and lazy to go through and find the HW help thread but anyway, I have a research paper due and I have finished it up. It is is pretty big deal, and I am a little nervous so I just wanted to see some opinions good or bad. By the way it's like 8 pages im going to put it in spoiler form and feel free to just skim through it. Lastly, I am in 10th grade and this is my first ever research paper so there WILL be mistakes I do not expect perfection, but neither should you I am not doing a college paper, but do tell me if you think anything is bordering plagiarism. Ans thanks in advance guys!


    Bone Krusher, the best

  • #2
    Malaka when is this due?
    my scent?...like making love to a lumberjack
    <TACKLE> i will ngata give you a bj raji
    <+BOE> Scott, with Burfict's character concerns (whether legit or not) you think Pioli would draft him. :D
    <+ScottWright> Why not. Baldwin does need a sparring partner...
    Originally posted by Hermstheman83
    What's with the hate on Ricky Stanzi? Those youtube clips of him with the hulk hogan theme music instantly make him better than Luck.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by bored of education View Post
      Malaka when is this due?
      It's due the 25th this is my final draft.

      Bone Krusher, the best

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      • #4
        I am also working on a research paper, due today at 6 pm ET. I'm 35 out of 1500 words through. I feel your pain and will try to give you some tips on yours when I'm done my assignments till next week.


        Originally posted by Scott Wright
        Terrellezzzzzzzz Pryorzzzzzzzz!
        Originally posted by njx9
        do i tell you when to flip the burger?

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        • #5
          Quick correction: "To Whitman the soul and mind were much important aspects of life than the empirical," is missing the concept of more. Incorporate it however you see fit.

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          • #6
            What is your thesis statement? Is it to prove that Whitman was a more of a transcendentalist than a realist? You picked a decent enough work to do so, but if you are looking to prove a point, comparing him to a known realist, say... Mark Twain may be a good thing to include.




            2 C 5:6-8 Jakob Murphy aka themaninblack

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            • #7
              Originally posted by CJSchneider View Post
              What is your thesis statement? Is it to prove that Whitman was a more of a transcendentalist than a realist? You picked a decent enough work to do so, but if you are looking to prove a point, comparing him to a known realist, say... Mark Twain may be a good thing to include.
              My goal or thesis is to show what influenced Walt Whitman to write "When I heard the Learn'd Astronomer".

              I felt transcendentalism did this best, so I put emphasis on it, my teacher actually graded the intro to make sure things were going smoothly for everybody and I got an A (I guess she missed the more in the sentence too, but thanks mqtirishfan I will fix it) so more or less everything but the intro needs some going over, mostly for simple mistakes like plagiarism.

              I know plagiarism is not a simple mistake but I mean ignorant plagiarism, like something stupid that I forgot to cite.

              Please help me if you have the time CJ I know you're a teacher I'd really appreciate and value your analysis. (And you too SABF)

              Bone Krusher, the best

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              • #8
                i gotz a research paper due next week, my teacher is ********, she essentially told us to write a persuasive essay.

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                • #9
                  Do not confuse plagarism with improper citing. At the HS level I doubt your teacher will gig you on this one. As far as Whatman's influences, allow me to expand. For as far as real influences, no doubt there were a multitude of astrological discoveries, mostly asteroids between Mars and Jupiter, during the 1860's - Neptune having been discovered in 1849. You are by no means wrong that this poem has a flare for the "transcendentalist" inside Whitman. More than anything, he was a realist and a romanticist. His description of the "mystical moist night air" gives some evidence of this; as if there is something almost "magical" in the natural world and discovery there in. As for stylistic influences, saying transcendentalism was it is by no means wrong. Let me be very clear about that. You provide a wealth of information and it shows you did your research. Your best point being "Lastly, from the mouth of famous transcendentalist, Ralph Waldo Emerson, “[transcendentalists] urged that each individual find an original relation to the universe”; which means that everyone must find their own role in existence (qtd “Transcendentalism”). "
                  What I think may help even more may be when you compare him tio some contemporary realists such as Mark Twain and Stephen Crane. A statement and/or small examination juxtapositioning that Whitman's poem seems to express an isolated personal opinion about established academia as opposed to a general way of life may be what's missing in order to fortify your paper's thesis statement.




                  2 C 5:6-8 Jakob Murphy aka themaninblack

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by CJSchneider View Post
                    Do not confuse plagarism with improper citing. At the HS level I doubt your teacher will gig you on this one. As far as Whatman's influences, allow me to expand. For as far as real influences, no doubt there were a multitude of astrological discoveries, mostly asteroids between Mars and Jupiter, during the 1860's - Neptune having been discovered in 1849. You are by no means wrong that this poem has a flare for the "transcendentalist" inside Whitman. More than anything, he was a realist and a romanticist. His description of the "mystical moist night air" gives some evidence of this; as if there is something almost "magical" in the natural world and discovery there in. As for stylistic influences, saying transcendentalism was it is by no means wrong. Let me be very clear about that. You provide a wealth of information and it shows you did your research. Your best point being "Lastly, from the mouth of famous transcendentalist, Ralph Waldo Emerson, “[transcendentalists] urged that each individual find an original relation to the universe”; which means that everyone must find their own role in existence (qtd “Transcendentalism”). "
                    What I think may help even more may be when you compare him tio some contemporary realists such as Mark Twain and Stephen Crane. A statement and/or small examination juxtapositioning that Whitman's poem seems to express an isolated personal opinion about established academia as opposed to a general way of life may be what's missing in order to fortify your paper's thesis statement.
                    Very interesting point CJ, I hope I can find a way too add that comparison in somehow, I might have to dig up some new sources though. I thought this particular poem showed the transcendental side of Whitman which in its own right is a "romantic" philosophy. This is why I put the Closet Transcendentalist as my title, although he was never a true transcendentalist its obvious he was at the very least influenced by Ralph Waldo Emerson who was a transcendentalist. I actually hoped for a better word than closet because I thought she might get mad seeing as Whitman has been thought to be *** or bisexual.

                    Aside from that, honestly I messed up my rough draft and was "plagiarized" because I didn't cite enough, things like his birthday andmea D for the rough draft only because of that, she didn't read the thing just looked over works cited and such. She told me she knew I was a good student and made an honest mistake and promised that if I had a killer paper she'd change the grade to an A. Honestly, as it stands do you think the work I have done is deserving?

                    Bone Krusher, the best

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Malaka View Post
                      I actually hoped for a better word than closet because I thought she might get mad seeing as Whitman has been thought to be *** or bisexual.

                      Honestly, as it stands do you think the work I have done is deserving?
                      I like the title. As far as a grade that is dependent on what ever grading criterea your teacher is using. As I said in the rep comment, I. for one, like your paper.




                      2 C 5:6-8 Jakob Murphy aka themaninblack

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by CJSchneider View Post
                        I like the title. As far as a grade that is dependent on what ever grading criterea your teacher is using. As I said in the rep comment, I. for one, like your paper.
                        Well I must thank you again CJ you have been a huge help and have calmed my nerves a bit. Lastly, I'll leave you with one more question: throughout the poem was there anywhere that might need citing and I forgot, I have a feeling she will ride me hard for it.

                        Bone Krusher, the best

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                        • #13
                          Not that I saw. I love this line of your paper by the way. It shows you "get it".

                          "here we see how the speaker, alone, finds the perfect happiness and understanding of the universe: the simple beauty of it."

                          I can hear it being said by the late Carl Sagan himself.




                          2 C 5:6-8 Jakob Murphy aka themaninblack

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                          • #14
                            damn cj, you are one helluva guy.... i struggle to correct stuff at work much less during my online "social life". :D
                            Originally posted by MichaelJordanEberle (sabf)
                            Thanks jerks, I have an exam tomorrow and reading this lowered my IQ by 14 points. Dicks.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by CJSchneider View Post
                              Not that I saw. I love this line of your paper by the way. It shows you "get it".

                              "here we see how the speaker, alone, finds the perfect happiness and understanding of the universe: the simple beauty of it."

                              I can hear it being said by the late Carl Sagan himself.
                              Well thank you very much CJ :D I hope my teacher feels the same way.

                              Bone Krusher, the best

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