Public restrooms.

[M.O.T.H.]

Whose **** in a porta potty? Those are pretty nasty and usually ******* smell so bad.

I'd rather piss outside. They're so disgusting.

And here, you're liable to get pushed over while in one. Which is hilarious from a far, but I'm sure would probably be no fun, if you were in there.

[soybean]

I don't usually watch Dane Cook but his bit about public restrooms is pretty funny.

I like how he goes "why, when you go in is everyyyyyyyythinggg WET???"

start at 2:55

[MetSox17]

I'd ******* kill someone if they tipped over one of those things with me inside.

[M.O.T.H.]

I'd ******* kill someone if they tipped over one of those things with me inside.

Yeah I'm with you. Someone would die that day. Then I'd probably cry myself to sleep...the killing weighing on my conscious? No. More to do with the **** I cant get out of my ears. ughhhh. lol.

[Ness]

When I'm in school, I follow the same philosophy as Brent. Find the most deserted bathroom and let it rip. I usually took the handicap toilet too, partially because I like the leg room.

I do the same thing at my college. In some of the buildings there are floors where there is one around. Used to do the same thing in high school. Or went during parts of the day where a lot of students weren't around (hour before school or an hour after if I'm still there). I knew my "safe spots" so to speak.

I absolutely destroy the faculty men's room at school. If I am out in public, I will drop the deuce only if I must. I prefer a bit more privacy then the standard public restroom stall affords.

Funny story: A few months ago, I was at Books-a-million and had no choice but to go their restroom and take the Browns to the Super Bowl. I fouled that place up something awful as I was just getting over a case of the stomach flu. Just as I was walking out some guy is walking in and as I step out the door I can hear this guy say "Good God, wtf happened in here?".

Reminds me of when I was taking a deuce once in one of my school buildings bathrooms and two guys walk in and I can hear one saying "Damn why does it always smell like someone is taking a **** in here?" and his partner says "Well it's because someone is always taking a **** in here". At that point I just happened to have my iPod with me. Thank you Steve Jobs.

Pissing or ******** in your pants > Porta Potties.

Word.

[Paul]

There is a restroom on campus where no one ever goes to, and I mean no one. It's amazing and it's always spotless. It' like my little private oasis, with a crapper.

[SuperMcGee]

I still remember many of my choice spots, too:

-Numerous floors in Harrington Tower
-6th floor of Evans library
-Several of the upper floors at Blocker
-Second floor of the Academic Building (only during summer school)

Good times.

I always go up to the top floor when I have to go at the library. The air-conditioned administrative building is full of clean ones. Bacon just has so many that it's not hard to find privacy.

I absolutely destroy the faculty men's room at school. If I am out in public, I will drop the deuce only if I must. I prefer a bit more privacy then the standard public restroom stall affords.

Funny story: A few months ago, I was at Books-a-million and had no choice but to go their restroom and take the Browns to the Super Bowl. I fouled that place up something awful as I was just getting over a case of the stomach flu. Just as I was walking out some guy is walking in and as I step out the door I can hear this guy say "Good God, wtf happened in here?".

When I was first doing my teaching observations last year, I was in a city school that had several of the bathrooms closed for vandalization or something. So when I couldn't find one in my off time, they just told me to use the one in the faculty lounge. What proceeded was me taking an absolute stink monster of a dump in a bathroom that was a little too close to the lounge tables, for my liking, during which time a seemingly large number of faculty had come in to take lunch. I panicked a little as I heard them all come in and start chatting, even trying to enter my occupied bathroom. Then out comes the young man that nobody knows or had seen enter the bathroom some time ago, bringing a deadly stench with him. I then walked the wrong way from the lounge exit, pretended to look at a vending machine, and fled.

[Hurricanes25]

Fun story: I never went to the bathroom in my high school. Not once. Don't even know what they look like inside.

I made it all 4 years without ever doing it. Not a fear of public bathrooms or anything, but I remember a couple months into my grade 9 year realizing I hadn't done it, and deciding to make it a goal.

Thought I'd share. I feel I need recognition for this outrageously dumb accomplishment to justify my doing it.

Same here. I went when I woke up, when I got home and then again before bed. Not once did I go into the bathroom in HS.

[descendency]

As long as I don't have to touch the Gonorrhea infested room.

[Go_Eagles77]

One day last fall semester was the only time I used a public bathroom to **** since I was in elementary school. I guess the egg salad sandwich I grabbed for lunch that day wasn't as fresh as advertised. Woops.

[nepg]

Went to the bars and stayed after hours with some friends once, then we went to their house and drank some more before making the walk to Kansas City's infamous DB Cooper's (bars close at 3AM, DB Cooper's OPENS at 6AM - earliest allowed)... We thought it was hilarious that they had Busch on tap, so we drank a few pitchers because we thought it was funny...

Well, after drinking for 12 hours, then sleeping for 4, I woke up perfectly sober with zero hang over... Then the Busch hit me while I was driving around town around 2pm that day... Made the mad dash to the restroom of a restaurant and probably ruined their plumbing permanently. I had to drive around in agony for a bit while I tried to get to a place I felt comfortable pooping. It takes a lot for me to take a **** in a public restroom. Work is slightly different...have to have the handicap stall.

Don't drink Busch, kids. I didn't learn anything from that because I should've already known what was going to happen before I drank a pitcher of the swill.

[Donno]

Went to the bars and stayed after hours with some friends once, then we went to their house and drank some more before making the walk to Kansas City's infamous DB Cooper's (bars close at 3AM, DB Cooper's OPENS at 6AM - earliest allowed)... We thought it was hilarious that they had Busch on tap, so we drank a few pitchers because we thought it was funny...

Well, after drinking for 12 hours, then sleeping for 4, I woke up perfectly sober with zero hang over... Then the Busch hit me while I was driving around town around 2pm that day... Made the mad dash to the restroom of a restaurant and probably ruined their plumbing permanently. I had to drive around in agony for a bit while I tried to get to a place I felt comfortable pooping. It takes a lot for me to take a **** in a public restroom. Work is slightly different...have to have the handicap stall.

Don't drink Busch, kids. I didn't learn anything from that because I should've already known what was going to happen before I drank a pitcher of the swill.

Hahahaha so damn funny, Busch should be a constipation medication lol

[Borat]

I think the more important questions is:

Assuming there is no auto-flusher, do you use your foot to flush?

Me - always.

[Paul]

Without a doubt.

[MetSox17]

Always, ALWAYS use the bottom of your shoe to flush. One time i dropped a wicked deuce in a restroom that had an auto-flusher. Problem is, i got up and the ************ wouldn't flush, and this one didn't have a little button in case the sensor wasn't picking up movement. I stayed there for like five minutes jumping around like a dumbass trying to get it to flush cause there was someone waiting to use the stall.