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The Simpsons Quotes Thread

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  • #16
    Everything is coming up.....




    <+fenikz> "**** the Police, ride my fischstache bitches"

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    • #17
      I wish I could post youtube clips at work.

      Basically anything by Ralph.

      "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
      "The doctor said I wouldn't get so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

      And the best song of all time that someone needs to post a clip for:

      "Max Power, that's the man who's name you'd love to touch,
      but you musn't touch!
      That name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it,
      you musn't fear.
      'Cause that name could be said by anyone!"

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      • #18
        Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!

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        • #19
          "Now now now, just because Bart is my son doesn't mean he'll get any special treatment.... He'll be calling me coach just like everyone else... as our NEW STARTING QUARTERBACK!!!" - Homer

          Bart: These clothes just plain suck!"
          Marge: Bart, where did you learn that language!
          [pans over to homer on the phone]
          Homer: Yeah Moe, that team last night sure did suck. I've seen teams suck before but mannnnn... those were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
          Marge: Homer!
          Homer: sorry Moe, gotta go my weiner kids are listening.
          Last edited by soybean; 01-14-2011, 10:48 PM.

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          • #20
            Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
            Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely
            Everytime I see that episode I still laugh.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by senormysterioso View Post
              Gun Shop Guy: Woah! Careful there Annie Oakley
              Homer: I don't have to be careful, I got a gun!
              Gun Shop Guy: Well You'll Probably Want the accessory kit; holster?
              Homer: yup
              Gun Shop Guy: bandolier?
              Homer: oh baby...
              Gun Shop Guy: silencer?
              Homer : yup
              Gun Shop Guy: loudener?
              Homer: uhuhuh
              Gun Shop Guy: automatic cocker?
              Homer: ooh, I like the sound of that
              Gun Shop Guy: And this is for shooting down police helicopters
              Homer: I don't need anything like that...yet. Just give me my gun!
              Gun Shop Guy: Sorry, the law requires a five day waiting period, we have to run a background check.
              Homer: Aww...five days but I'm mad now, I'd kill you if I had my gun.
              Gun Shop Guy: Yah, well you don't.
              I forgot about this one. Great find!
              "If you have one finger pointing at somebody, you have three pointing towards yourself."
              ~Nigerian Proverb

              Da riddum is too much for you.
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nKx27QrgO0

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              • #22
                Lisa: Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
                Marge: I wouldn't bother him, honey. He's making some sort of model for a contest. He says it's really high-tech stuff that we wouldn't understand.
                Homer: (opens basement door) Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?

                (At the children's nuclear power plant contest)
                Mr. Burns: (to Homer) Could you explain your model, young man?
                Grimes: (from audience) What's to explain? He's an idiot!
                Lenny: Pipe down!
                Homer: Well basically, I just copied the plant we have now.
                Mr. Burns: Hmmm.
                Homer: Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance. And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp.
                Mr. Burns: Agreed. First prize. (gives Homer a blue ribbon)
                Grimes: What?!
                Carl: Way to go, Homer!
                Lenny: You're number one, Homer!
                Grimes: But it, it was a contest for children!!
                Lenny: Yeah! And Homer beat their brains out!

                sig by BoneKrusher

                PACKERS BADGERS BREWERS BUCKS

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                • #23
                  Abe: I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me.

                  sig by BoneKrusher

                  PACKERS BADGERS BREWERS BUCKS

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                  • #24
                    Grandpa: "Now, my story begins in nineteen dickity two. We had to say 'dickity,' because the Kaiser had stolen our word 'twenty'. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickity-six miles."

                    I still say dickity randomly.

                    Homer: And you didn't think I'd make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus.
                    Marge: While you were out earning that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
                    Homer: Woo Hoo! Four-day weekend!
                    Last edited by iowatreat54; 01-15-2011, 01:53 PM.

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                    • #25
                      I could go on for days on this thread. I'll just go from a few episodes.

                      Barney: [in Moe's Tavern] And I say, that England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
                      Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
                      Barney: Lord Palmerston!
                      Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
                      Barney: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!
                      [punches him out]
                      Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barn'!
                      [disbelieving]
                      Moe: Pitt the Elder...
                      Barney: Lord Palmerston!
                      Mr. Burns: I've decided to bring in a few ringers, professional baseballers. We'll give them token jobs at the plant and have them play on our softball team. Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown...
                      Smithers: Uh, sir?
                      Mr. Burns: What is it, Smithers?
                      Smithers: I'm afraid all of those players have retired and, uh... passed on. In fact, your right-fielder has been dead for a hundred and thirty years.


                      My favorite clip from my favorite Simpsons episode.

                      Moe: Moe's Tavern.
                      Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.
                      Moe: Hold on, I'll check.
                      [calls]
                      Moe: Hugh Jass! Hey, I want a Hugh Jass! Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
                      Hugh Jass: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
                      Moe: Telephone.
                      Hugh Jass: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
                      Bart: Uh, hi.
                      Hugh Jass: Who's this?
                      Bart: Bart Simpson.
                      Hugh Jass: What can I do for you, Bart?
                      Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta back-fired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
                      Hugh Jass: All right. Better luck next time.
                      [hangs up]
                      Hugh Jass: What a nice young man.
                      Homer: I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs...
                      Moe Szyslak: Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.
                      Number One: Everybody takes the same oath!
                      Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the Metric system down?

                      We do, We do.

                      Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?

                      We do, We do.

                      Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?

                      We do, We do.

                      Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night?

                      We do, We do!
                      Last edited by djp; 01-15-2011, 03:08 PM.
                      "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."

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                      • #26
                        "This should just be a general Simpsons discussion thread, so I can complain about how my local CW and Fox affiliates ONLY SHOW DAMN NEW EPISODES NOW."

                        That was not an actual Simpsons quote, but rather a quote by me which I felt I should write in this thread. And then I did. And then I am about to hit Post Quick Reply now.

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                        • #27
                          I think that is a common complaint because newer Simpsons are lame.


                          RIP TheManInBlack

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Brodeur View Post
                            I think that is a common complaint because newer Simpsons are lame.


                            After I saw this for the first time, I drank a lot of bleach, took a whole bottle of sleeping pills, cut my hands off, and then stabbed myself in the throat with my wrist nubs. True story.

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                            • #29
                              You know, I was just about to post how the new intro is garbage and then saw that. And it made me even more upset. Even the new animation is awful. While I didn't mind the Simpsons Movie, although it was about 10-12 years too late, it has ruined an already declining masterpiece.

                              But seeing Ralph in the lost and found was awesome. There's pretty much nothing Ralph can do wrong.

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                              • #30
                                I blame Family Guy for the decline of Simpsons. It got popular and the Simpsons thought they had to be a disjointed string on nonsense rather then a clever and well written series.

                                sig by BoneKrusher

                                PACKERS BADGERS BREWERS BUCKS

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