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Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.
"Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."
A few that generally rotate in & out of my sigs on various boards are:
"I can't live the button down life like you. I want it all. The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middle. Sure, I might offend a few of the blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers - who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'what's to be done with this Homer Simpson'."
"Read your town charter, boy. "If foodstuff should touch the ground, said foodstuff shall be turned over to the village idiot." Since I don't see him around...start shoveling!"
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women . . ."
Really, just about any line from the "Lisa's Rival" episode is worthy of this thread. By far the (queue comic guy voice) Best. Episode. Ever.
Car forum, especially, gets:
"I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas brake honk. Gas brake honk. Honk honk punch. Gas gas gas."
Condensed version of the one below from the movie was my sig recently.
EPA Soldier: I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
Russ Cargill: Damn it! Well, then you find 'em, and you get 'em back in the dome! And to make sure nobody else gets out, I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24-7! I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And here's how I want them arranged: tough, soft, tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft, tough, soft!
EPA Soldier: Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
Russ Cargill: Of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you!
'It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.'
Homer tears the slot machine from the stand:
Marge: Homer slow down!
Marge: Think before you say each word.
Homer: Excuse me, professor Brainiac. But I worked in a nuclear power plant for ten years, and I think I know how a proton accelerator works.
Professor: Well, please come down and show us.
Homer: All right, I will.
<everyone runs out screaming while the building is glowing>
Homer: In there guys.
Hazmat team: Thanks Homer.