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BRAVEHEART 04-17-2009 03:23 AM

Dogs and Cats
 
Dog:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat:

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ********.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ..


Thought ya'll would like that.

Dr. Gonzo 04-17-2009 03:30 AM

I had a 5 dollar bet in high school that I would eat a can of dog food. There is not much more degrading than that but I was very excited to do it. I am upset it never happened though.

I did like that write up. Dogs are awesome.

Mr. Hero 04-17-2009 03:34 AM

If that doesn't explain to you why cats are better than dogs than there's just no reaching you.

BRAVEHEART 04-17-2009 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Hero (Post 1604995)
If that doesn't explain to you why cats are better than dogs than there's just no reaching you.

and what is "better" in your opinion?

Mr. Hero 04-17-2009 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRAVEHEART (Post 1604996)
and what is "better" in your opinion?

Not ******** > ********, is all i'm saying. A pet that has a memory will develop character, whereas a ****** is a ******.

BRAVEHEART 04-17-2009 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Hero (Post 1604999)
Not ******** > ********, is all i'm saying. A pet that has a memory will develop character, whereas a ****** is a ******.

I have a Chow Chow (dog), it's the coolest pet I've ever had. Friendly like a dog, independent and chill like a cat (also moody and douchy like a cat too :( ), and still loyal like a dog. I would call them the "cat's guy dog". Martha Stewart only has Chow's, they are a great breed.

Dr. Gonzo 04-17-2009 03:46 AM

My ******** pug is awesome. He seriously is mentally disable but looks so ******* hilarious that I can't not like him.

yourfavestoner 04-17-2009 03:47 AM

This confirms my beliefs that cats are nothing but lurker creepers.

The Unseen 04-17-2009 07:17 AM

Dogs rule, cats **** in sand boxes.

eaglesalltheway 04-17-2009 08:56 AM

Anyone who says dogs don't have memories has never ever been in contact with a dog for more than 20 seconds. Dogs are awesome, though i like cats too, I just always had ****** luck and always got asshole cats. I'm a dog guy though. If you want a really good dog, get a mutt, they combine the best of each breed and there is a lot less chance of genetic deformities due to in-breeding.

Splat 04-17-2009 09:02 AM

I like both but I'm more of a cat person there just great I have pretty much always had a cat my whole life.

scottyboy 04-17-2009 09:11 AM

Dogs are so much more awesome. Cats just look cute in lolcats and in reality run away and lurk in corners. Dogs are playfull and fun and so awesome. You can't ******* wrestle with your cat or play fetch/catch or football in the snow and **** I do with my awesome dog.

steelersfan43 04-17-2009 09:14 AM

Hooray dogs :)

terribletowel39 04-17-2009 09:27 AM

I am more of a dog person as I have 2 Great Danes, 2 Jack Russells, and my girlfriends chihuahua.
But I also like cats. If you get a cat while it is a kitten you can get it used to human contact that way they aren't such bitches the rest of their lives. I've had three cats before and loved most of it (minus the blinds). Not all cats are loners.
I've had two cats that are more like dogs than you can imagine. Always wanting to cuddle, play fetch, slept in the bed with me, and came when they were called.
Cats are cool too but dogs are cooler.

P-L 04-17-2009 09:28 AM

I don't mind dogs, but I wouldn't trade my cat for any other animal. He's not your typical cat. He follows me around the house all day, sleeps on my bed every night, and is more friendly with me than any dog I've ever come into contact with. Actually, now that I think about it my cat might have an unhealthy obsession with me, lol.

vidae 04-17-2009 09:45 AM

I've grown up with both dogs and cats, but I prefer cats. My cat is pretty awesome. He acts like a dog though, which is weird. He fetches (only receipt paper, and I have to crumple it up and he'll chase it and bring it back in his mouth). I've had him for about 15 years now. He rules.

RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES 04-17-2009 09:51 AM

I grew up always having dogs(yes never just one) and I have had a couple cats. I think I prefer fish

Splat 04-17-2009 10:09 AM

Cats can be very play full not all of them but they can be pretty active I think the biggest difference between most Cats and Dogs is Cats seem to get attached to one person while Dogs will go to any one.

FlyingElvis 04-17-2009 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottyboy (Post 1605148)
Dogs are so much more awesome. Cats just look cute in lolcats and in reality run away and lurk in corners. Dogs are playfull and fun and so awesome. You can't ******* wrestle with your cat or play fetch/catch or football in the snow and **** I do with my awesome dog.

Yup, you've never had a good cat. lol


I have a bunch and only one hides. Several will wrestle (though you can't tackle them like you could a large dog) and one plays fetch. All of them are sociable and friendly and will mess with you on occasion.


Dogs are awesome, too. Loldogs don't work the way cats do, but if you combine them . . .


iowatreat54 04-17-2009 11:23 AM

Cats are only good for lolcatz.

Seriously, I don't mind cats. They are cool to play with when other people have them, but I could never own one. I just love dogs so much more.

One thing though, dogs are always soooo happy to see you whenever you come home and so sad when you leave them. Most cats could care less, or just never show it.

FlyingElvis 04-17-2009 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iowatreat54 (Post 1605393)
Cats are only good for lolcatz.

Seriously, I don't mind cats. They are cool to play with when other people have them, but I could never own one. I just love dogs so much more.

One thing though, dogs are always soooo happy to see you whenever you come home and so sad when you leave them. Most cats could care less, or just never show it.

Yup, you've never had a good cat either.

I have a few that will greet you at the door, follow you around the house, and do all the things that most people love in their dog.

iowatreat54 04-17-2009 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlyingElvis (Post 1605405)
Yup, you've never had a good cat either.

I have a few that will greet you at the door, follow you around the house, and do all the things that most people love in their dog.

I understand, I've never had a cat. That's why I said most cats. The majority of cats aren't what you are describing as "good cats" from my experience and from what I've heard. Almost all dogs are always greeting you at the door, either because they are happy to see you.

It doesn't mean cats suck, it's just something that I like a lot about dogs. They show way much more affection and emotion than cats in general.

Vikes99ej 04-17-2009 11:45 AM


iowatreat54 04-17-2009 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikes99ej (Post 1605436)

Best. Dogs. Ever.

Dogs are also cuter and better chick magnets. They win.

awfullyquiet 04-17-2009 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlyingElvis (Post 1605405)
Yup, you've never had a good cat either.

I have a few that will greet you at the door, follow you around the house, and do all the things that most people love in their dog.

serious truth in this.

the way a cat snuggles with you when you sleep or the way they rub your ankles while you're peeing, and purring... it's too good. a good cat is as good as a good dog...

and i've had both. i have lots of them. well, my brother does while i'm away on business.


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