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KLAUS 09-07-2010 12:09 PM

2010 Unit Evaluations
 
2010 UNIT EVALUTIONS: DIXIE STARS VS. BROWN LIGHTNING

This is it gentlemen, the apotheosis – the annual evaluation of the two units before the beginning of Operation Barbarossa. The train smoke rises in ecstatic anticipation, like the moment before one approaches the street prostitutes in the tavern of failed dreams.




Selector
Steve Spagnuolo

Selector
Rex Ryan

This is a profound discrepancy, and it is our most profoundly heterogeneous difference. Fat Papa is the Lao Tzu, the partisan warfare of the premier league, reading Carl Schmitt and the state of exception 17 hours a day. His arrogance takes all the sins of the world on his team, allowing him to have multiple personalities, while the sick media focuses on his genius and leaves the proles be. Spagnuolo is a clown living off of Tom Coughlin's game plan in the Premier League championship all those years ago. Let the dreams begin.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Result: Dixie Stars 1, Brown Lightning 0


QB
Jay Cutler
Charlie Batch


QB
Donovan McNabb
Josh Johnson

Brown Lightning had the point at quarters since 2007. The sequence of Kitna-Gutierrez-Simms-Josh Johnson was one of the most horrific in Premier League history – 3 years of that profound terror. And to quote De Niro in Taxi Diver: and suddenly there is change. Uncle T enters the plantation, as athletically genetic as he was when we first met his acquaintance in the last century in the year 1999, whilst the american fantasy cancers forward, this time under the tutelage of the corrupt Martz. McNabb is a lesser Warren Moon. But, Moon, 6-3, 221, undrafted free agent scum is the greatest quarters in history. David Krieg at the age of 57 is a better quarters than Culter. Black Pegasus offers Scott Secules next 10 year back up quarters potential and an asymmetrical threat. Batch is a crypt-man.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Result: Dixie Stars 2, Brown Lightning 0

RB
Mike Bell
Tashard Choice
Tyrell Sutton
Jonathan Dwyer*

RB
Justin Forsett
Rashad Jennings
LeGarette Blount*

Brown Lightning have profound contempt for the run position, but too much hatred has destroyed them. Reduce the position to a ******* minimum of talent, yes – but this is too much. Yet suddenly - The pit and the pendulum swings back to the religious Godhead of Thomas J.J. Altizer, whose every text breathes his ancestor Stonewall Jackson and the Death of God: the acquisiton of Tashard Choice. Choice is a desparate attempt at respectability and it may have been theoretically acheived. The Dixie Stars fire back with three young pickpockets from a Dickens classic – are they sure things? No. But are do they bear the gifts like the three kings to the Godhead? Yes.

Decision: Draw
Current Result: Dixie Stars 3, Brown Lightning 1

FB
Mike Cox

FB
Jerome Felton

My limey scouts had cox as the worst fb in the entire ******* premier league in 2009. the brown lightning's attempts to steal john conner failed on draft day and in the aborted mega-trade they tried to fool the dixie stars with during the hot burning early days of august. Felton is now being discovered as an ample carrier- he is arguably a better runner than bell or the other clowns.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Result: Dixie Stars 4, Brown Lightning 1

TE
David Thomas
Joel Dreesen
Rob Gronkowski
Jeff Cumberland

TE
Ben Patrick
James Casey
Matthew Mulligan

The Brown Lightning have stated they like to employ on offensively static look with similar personnel, that enables them to line **** on the field and then split them off into multiply radical directions like Guhabranta Mana's strategies on network-centric warfare. Hence, the concentration on the TE position. The talent accumulated here must be acknowledged – even the undrafted Cumberland genetic monster must make this unit. And the commitment to pure Slavonic genetics in the form of the brothers Gronkowskega is to be commended. Ben Patrick is a solid block man with minimal receiving skills on the infamous dink route. Casey has potential but has not been utilized by that *** Kubiak, and we must wait. Mulligan is a Fat Papa favourite that we stole on the waive ride back in the year zero nine.

Decision: Brown Lightning
Current Result: Dixie Stars 4, Brown Lightning 2


OT
Eugene Monroe
Zach Strief
John St.Clair
Derek Hardman*

OT
Jared Gaither
Tony Pashos
Bruce Campbell*
Mike Otto

In the fake universe, the Ravens continue to undermine Gaither because they have a hollywood **** who has a film made on his life at the impotent position of the right tackle. In other words a conspiracy for popularity. Like those who would say Schpielberg is a better director than Tarkovsky. They are trying to destroy Gaither's dreams. It doesn't matter anyway – Gaither will continue to dominate and then depsart in free agenecy in the year 2011 and join his new unit in open arms as the phenomenological gift of Jean-Luc Marion. The comment from last year stands: Monroe dreams of being everything that Gaither is. Ex-Brown Lightning Pashos comes back to haunt the brown lightning like a ******* ghost man. Bruce Campbell is the gretatest genetic specimen at his position in the history of the Premier League. Otto continues to purely grind his dreams. John St. Clair should be a waiter at Red Lobster's. Derek Hardman is a destitute homeless man's Paul ******* Hutchins. **** Derek Hardman.

Decision: Dixie Stars


Decision:
Current Result: Dixie Stars 5, Brown Lightning 2

OG
Carl Nicks
Jason Brown
Max Jean-Gilles

OG
Wade Smith
Bobbie Williams
Rex Hadnot

The Brown Lightning's prized pig who saved the 2008 baptism: Carl Nicks. Must we endleslly hear about his greatness – he is the new Jason Dunn. Jason Brown has apparently shut down all effort since departing Baltimore. Bobbie Wliiams pure tactical grind technician with violent hands. Hadnot – pure ******* grind. Wade Smith starts for the Texans and does not even start for the Dixie Stars.

Decision: Brown Lightning
Current Result: Dixie Stars 5, Brown Lightning 3

C
Ryan Kalil


C
Maurkice Pouncey*
Fernando Velasco

We can hear the explosions from the Brown Lightning polyetherene plastic dome where they hold their practices – »But Kalil is a probe bowl!« Pouncey is the greatest at his position in 20 years. In two weeks teh following rating should be cemented to the dixie stars, but these are pre-seaons ratings so let them stand in testimony to our profound objectivity. Velasco is undrafted free agent scum that we uncovered back in 2008 and after 2 years suffering on the p-squad broke the curse of joe newton.

Decision: Draw
Current Results: Dixie Stars 6, Brown Lightning 4

WR
Derrick Mason
Ben Obomanu
Patrick Crayton
Greg Camarillo
Kyle Williams

WR
Percy Harvin
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
Davone Bess
Adrian Arrington
Dorin Dickerson*
Carlton Mitchell*

Crayton, Camarillo – those ***** couldn't save a train without its smoke. A grind unit, they can run the double hook train smoke routes, but nothing else. Look to the right side – it is time for the BL to acknowledge, as the j*w capitalists now ackonwledge the accuracy of Marx's division of labour that Sweet Pea is the most dynamic prole in the ******* premier league. Houshmandzadeh is the greatest split end the Brown Lightning ever had – the Persian assassin goes to the dixie stars for nothing. Bess is a destitute man's Gary Clark, but Gary Clark was a god man – consider that disproportion as the most profound of compliments. Dickerson and Mitchell cut the back ass off the secondary. Where aare Keenan Burton and Julio Iglesias, the reminders of dreams past? Corinthians 3:14: » we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.”

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Results: Dixie Stars 7, Brown Lightning 4

PK
Jay Feeley

PK
Swayze Waters


Swayze Waters, was found in 2009, and was lost for dead. Al Davis resurrected him, taught him hwo to both punt and kick, then was waive rided. Feeley is as old as Bo Orlando.

Decision: Insignificant Position, no points awarded
Current Results: Dixie Stars 7, Brown Lightning 4

DE
Brett Keisel
Vonnie Holliday
Jonathan Fanene
Jared Odrick
Brandon Deaderick

DE
Alan Branch
Charles Johnson
Carlos Dunlap*
Vernon Gholston
Ray McDonald

The stiff ******* grinders Fanene, Keisel, Holliday, in the hold the point style of Carl "Christ" reeves – they are done. If those ***** can hold the point to this day, so can Christ Reeves - sign him instead of evoking the death of kevin carter, president of the bang bang club. Fanene you found in round 7 how many years ago, the same as Keisel. Their dream house has collapsed on them. Odrick runs through the line of scrimmage sideways every play – that does not function in the Premier League. Deaderick cannot move. Branch is a big 10= big **** prole, but he can hold the poitn 10 plays a game, which is all that is asked of that total ******* degenerate. Charles Johnson is the X here, the transcendental subject. He will explode this year, throwing around ***** like Kalil in practice. Dunlap is a more violent Daryl Gardener. Black Hercules the Atomic Bust has taken to the DE position like the dixie stars take to the heroin.
Genetics, Dixie Stars, experience Brown Lightning.

Decision: Draw
Current Results: Dixie Stars 8, Brown Lightning 5

NT
Vince Wilfork
Athyba Rubin

NT
Brandon Mebane
Paul Soliai
Bryan Robinson
Al Woods*

The brown lighting are proud of their two fat ***** with the violent hands. If Mebane was a NT in the premier league he would be better than wilfork. But the fake universe is full of fools and a lack of apocalyptic vision. Bryan Robinson still has the violent hands. Soliai is fabricating his dreams like Thor Heyerdahl made the Kon-Tiki. Al Woods is currently horrible.

Decision: Brown Lightning
Current Results: Dixie Stars 8, Brown Lightning 6

OLB
Connor Barwin
Lawrence Sidbury
Everson Griffen*
Dexter Davis*
Edgar Jones

OLB
Jarrett Johnson
Cliff Avril
Antwan Applewhite
Aaron Morgan*

Years of draft selections at the olb position waiting for an explosion that will never arise – and the first selection in the 2007 free agent draft edgar jones, remains on the ******* roster more as a move of arrogance to remind us of the failure of Tavarous Bain as opposed to any testament to his ability. Antwan Applewhite, 6th round, 2007, could whip all of them like a train smoke. Avril hates life, and will get 10 sacks this year. Aaron Morgan is not an Eric Fontenot false dream.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Results: Dixie Stars 9, Brown Lightning 6

ILB
Stewart Bradley
Takeo Spikes
Brandon Siler
Dannell Ellerbe
Dane Fletcher*

ILB
Jon Beason
Lawrence Timmons
Geno Hayes
Jameel McClain

»Bizarre haircut needs looking into« Stewart Bradley of the artifical knees joins his equally invalid blood brother the terminally dead Takeo Spikes to stand behind what Dickerson would term »the double axe handle ass« of Vince Wilfork. Beason is better than that *** Patrick Willis, who can still not even wear the headset after 5 years in the premier league because of his profound ignorance. Timmons strangles the league like Althusser strangled his wife Helene. An outstanding unit for both units, but the Dixie Stars win because of the disproportion in genetics.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Results: Dixie Stars 10, Brown Lightning 6

CB
Richard Marshall
DeShea Townsend
Terrence Wheatley
Fred Bennett
Akwasi Owusu-Ansah
Dominique D.J. Johnson

CB
Tarrell Brown
Orlando Scandrick
Brandon Underwood
Justin King
Don Carey
Cletis Gordon

Leigh Bodden went down, and that opened a ******* lacuna in the brown lightning's back ass. Fred Bennett will not be saving any puppies from the fire. If Richard Marshall is the only hope, do not forget the proverb that hope is the mother of suffering. Dixie Stars counter with an array of former baptism selections and the crucified Cletis Gordon. This is not Deoin Figures in 1993. This is not selecting Kevin Minniefield over Blaine Bishop in the 1993 baptism.

Decision: Draw
Current Result: Dixie Stars 11, Brown Lightning 7


S
Thomas DeCoud
Patrick Chung
C.J Spillman

S
Eric Berry*
Brandon Meriweather
Sha'reff Rashad
Stevie Brown*

3 Bo orlandos. Against 4 representations of Bo Orlando if he was actually good. Sha'reff Rashad, the genius – absolutely no physical talent, a total ******* void, yet returns because of the electrical connections between his matter and the psychedelic expansion of consciousness consistent with the Godhead.

Decision: Dixie Stars
Current Results: Dixie Stars 12, Brown Lightning 7

P
Matt Turk

P
Chris Bryan


Ottoman empire died over a century ago, and the collapse of the deteriorating corpse of Matt Turk is imminent. Chris Bryan from the australian football league, where the ****** referees wear exquisite wide-brimmed hats and gesture their hands in a rudimentary gun motion when some ******* poitns are scored. To quote Isaac the Syrian: »death to the world«.

Decision: Dixie Stars

Final Results: Dixie Stars 13, Brown Lightning 7

K Train 09-07-2010 12:21 PM

I LOVE YOUR THREADS

you need to be high to appreciate them, but when you are they are ******* glorious

Don Vito 09-07-2010 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLAUS (Post 2282631)
In the fake universe, the Ravens continue to undermine Gaither because they have a hollywood **** who has a film made on his life at the impotent position of the right tackle. In other words a conspiracy for popularity.

You are a funny guy.

ChiFan24 09-07-2010 04:06 PM

Quote:

An outstanding unit for both units, but the Dixie Stars win because of the disproportion in genetics.
I love you.

cajuncorey 09-07-2010 09:40 PM

man i dont even understand... What are you talking about?

brat316 09-07-2010 10:16 PM

when do you have time to write this up?

iowatreat54 09-07-2010 10:31 PM


gpngc 09-07-2010 10:41 PM

"Al Woods is currently horrible."

619 09-07-2010 11:22 PM

I can't ******* understand this guy.

cajuncorey 09-09-2010 10:36 PM

what does ur history lesson have to do with football homie?

brat316 09-09-2010 10:43 PM

he writing about it from an alternate universe. But why is he not at the alternate universe?

BigBanger 09-10-2010 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLAUS (Post 2282631)
And to quote De Niro in Taxi Diver: and suddenly there is change.

LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLAUS (Post 2282631)
Like those who would say Schpielberg is a better director than Tarkovsky.

First, I thought you were funny, but then this made me realize that you are simply a propaganda preaching SOB. I understand you hate the jews and everything, but do not let the fact that Spielberg is the leader of the jewish world have anything to do with this. You know as well I that your despise of him comes from the incident where He, the Spielberg, persuaded your Godhead to the Galápagos for an indecent proposal. Spielberg taunted the Godhead with will millions and a copy of Schindler's List, a personal note the Godhead Himself where he basically sends this all important message: **** OFF YOU ****!!! When the Godhead became overwhelmed with the message and his own sins of attempting to take millions of dollars from a jew, he had a brief moment of res gestae where he confessed to being a latent homosexual. The Godhead then committed suicide. He is a false prophet and the great Spielberg destroyed your belief in your religion. Sylvester Mazzolini called the Spielberg, "The most heinous demon known to mankind. The destructor of the universe and everything we've ever known, or believed to have know."

619 09-10-2010 08:43 AM

You're an alien, straight up. What are you doing here?

Draft King 09-12-2010 10:56 PM

I don't understand this ****.

yourfavestoner 09-12-2010 11:57 PM

Great thread or greatest thread?

cajuncorey 03-05-2012 01:00 AM

can this guy please do more threads?

danoun 03-05-2012 01:39 AM

mate and private guard.
 
In their remarks with the mass media conference, Hardwick stressed the power of friendly relationship on the arena."It has become a great honor to relax and play close to Kris with regard to so many several years. His / her customer loyalty along with durability set it up as well as males whom tinkered with your ex feeling of safety, if you know cheap mlb hats we your baddest dude to the subject. And we knew nobody want to learn poor your dude he or she has been. He / she taught us concerning devotion, moral strength along with friendly relationship. I'm going to undoubtedly miss finding myself a huddle status next to my mate and private guard."

GaMeTiMe 03-05-2012 02:06 AM

I really wonder what this guy was all about, looking at all of his posts. He started out sounding almost eerily legit, and just suddenly went crazy, and crazier and crazier.

It almost sounds like he's actually an old ex-scout that signed up on a draft forum with onsetting dementia and we saw him post through the early development

JHL6719 03-05-2012 02:49 AM

http://www.draftinsider.net/forum/sh...Glaine-babbert

ChiFan24 03-05-2012 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GaMeTiMe (Post 2887019)
I really wonder what this guy was all about, looking at all of his posts. He started out sounding almost eerily legit, and just suddenly went crazy, and crazier and crazier.

It almost sounds like he's actually an old ex-scout that signed up on a draft forum with onsetting dementia and we saw him post through the early development

Agreed....whatever his act is, he knows what he's talking about. Some of the crazy **** he said still sticks in the back of my mind when I'm looking at a player. His vendetta against the Big Ten was awesome.

CashmoneyDrew 03-05-2012 04:15 PM

Evaluate my unit please.

Jakey 03-05-2012 04:50 PM

What the hell did i just read?

marshallb 03-05-2012 05:02 PM

If you want to read his scouting report of Andrew Luck, it's good for some laughs. I'm not going to link to it since it's on another draft site, but just google search "Klaus Andrew Luck".

Scott Wright 03-06-2012 01:59 AM

I don't know what's happening...

RaiderNation 03-06-2012 02:02 AM

This is almost as good as "That's Why We American Football" lol.


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