Relationship Advice Thread - Page 208

ATLDirtyBirds · 08-10-2010, 10:24 AM

Keep her in your back pocket and move on. I wouldn't talk to her much, and I'd still **** around with other girls. But if she's ready to do something soon and you like her that much, you can always be ready for her.

Brent · 08-10-2010, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn98

So do I keep her in my back pocket so to say, or move on? Sorry about the long ass post.

I wouldn't waste time on her, but that's just me. Don't fall for a girl just because she's giving you attention and you had some good talks. If she is constantly telling you she doesnt want a relationship, take the hint.

This shouldnt read as me being harsh, I'm just stating that haha.

bsaza2358 · 08-10-2010, 10:51 AM

Means that you're on the right track in terms of being a good date and getting girls interested. However, is it possible that you're more relaxed with these girls because there's no chance of it ever really going anywhere because you know it's not? That's a nice little safety blanket...

I would just flat out move on. Tell her you don't want to be friends and when she's ready to date you, to call you. Walk away, don't look back. If she really likes you, she'll come to you. I doubt she will come to you because girls who make 1 year rules like that are usually so controlling that they will expect to be catered to on their terms. Alternatively, you could snap her into breaking her rule, then you can date her.

All in all, just keep having fun and try to get with girls who want to bang or date. Stay away from the crazy and damaged ones. Don't deal with drama. Try to find a girl who is just nice and makes you happy. Or a girl who is nice looking and doesn't load up the drama. Either way. Look harder and raise your standards.

BigJohn98 · 08-10-2010, 11:15 AM

She told me that she could see herself dating me. She said that ever since she's started dating, she's never taken time to get over her ex. She's jumped back into dating. So now she says she wants to stay single because she doesn't know what it's like. So I don't think I'm too relaxed. I just came into the picture at the wrong time. So no, I don't think I'm too relaxed. When I like someone, I'm determined to get that girl. I know I can get this girl.

I don't think she's about drama or being in control. Idk, call me a puss, but there's just something about her. :/

BamaFalcon59 · 08-10-2010, 11:19 AM

Yeah, screw saying 'there's something about her.' I hate when I think that about a girl, leads to ftl.

I'm hitting college next week. It's ON.

yourfavestoner · 08-10-2010, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn98

She told me that she could see herself dating me. She said that ever since she's started dating, she's never taken time to get over her ex. She's jumped back into dating. So now she says she wants to stay single because she doesn't know what it's like. So I don't think I'm too relaxed. I just came into the picture at the wrong time. So no, I don't think I'm too relaxed. When I like someone, I'm determined to get that girl. I know I can get this girl.

I don't think she's about drama or being in control. Idk, call me a puss, but there's just something about her. :/

That's exactly how I am. I never, ever want to be in a relationship. But there are times when I just know it's the right girl, and I've never failed once I really set my mind to it.

It's all in your mindset. Make yourself available, but not too available or desperate, because you'll just turn yourself into a fallback option.

Brent · 08-10-2010, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn98

She told me that she could see herself dating me. She said that ever since she's started dating, she's never taken time to get over her ex. She's jumped back into dating. So now she says she wants to stay single because she doesn't know what it's like. So I don't think I'm too relaxed. I just came into the picture at the wrong time. So no, I don't think I'm too relaxed. When I like someone, I'm determined to get that girl. I know I can get this girl.

Maybe I am cynical, but I read that as "I want to bang a bunch of guys, not date them."

yourfavestoner · 08-10-2010, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent

Maybe I am cynical, but I read that as "I want to bang a bunch of guys, not date them."

It's a girl, so it's likely more along the lines of "I want to bang a bunch of guys and hopefully this will lead to a relationship with one of them."

Girls want sex as much as guys, but what they want out of it is completely different.

She's young and hasn't gone through her **** phase yet (which every girl must get out of the way. It just has to happen). The question is how long will this phase be, and how slutty will she get?

BigJohn98 · 08-10-2010, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent

Maybe I am cynical, but I read that as "I want to bang a bunch of guys, not date them."

She's a really open girl. She told me she's done that random hookup stage. She's fixing to get into her major, so she's not going to be doing any partying.

Thanks for the advice guys.

bsaza2358 · 08-10-2010, 12:43 PM

I think you should let her go and let her come to you when she's ready. Fact is, if she was really into you, she would fight for you. That is my assessment.

yourfavestoner · 08-10-2010, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsaza2358

I think you should let her go and let her come to you when she's ready. Fact is, if she was really into you, she would fight for you. That is my assessment.

That's not always the case, though. Plenty of girls will say/do things like this as a test to guage if you're genuinely interested or just looking for a quick lay.

619 · 08-10-2010, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yourfavestoner

That's not always the case, though. Plenty of girls will say/do things like this as a test to guage if you're genuinely interested or just looking for a quick lay.

Badda boom, badda bing.

He's right.

bsaza2358 · 08-11-2010, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yourfavestoner

That's not always the case, though. Plenty of girls will say/do things like this as a test to guage if you're genuinely interested or just looking for a quick lay.

Hard to disagree with you. He could easily take 1 more shot at it and be okay, but I'm just saying that it's not always so cut and dry. The girl could easily break herself from this vow if she really wanted to, but she's using it to either keep him at bay or to keep herself from being hurt. The 1 year thing is pretty arbitrary.

I've done the whole "run into a wall so many times, you forget how much it hurts" thing. At age 19, is it really worth pushing this angle with someone when there are hundreds of other girls without the baggage? Who needs a relationship at age 19 when you can just bone others?

ATLDirtyBirds · 08-11-2010, 08:29 AM

Quick question, how do you guys generally get around forgetting a girl's name?

bsaza2358 · 08-11-2010, 08:43 AM

There is the honest approach: "I was too drunk, and I'm blanking and feel like a dope because I can't remember the name of the girl I'm taking to dinner on Friday"

There is also the whole have a friend introduce himself.

You can also FB stalk and look at mutual friends to try to identify her.

Equally effective: Ask friends you were with what her name is.

ATLDirtyBirds · 08-11-2010, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsaza2358

There is the honest approach: "I was too drunk, and I'm blanking and feel like a dope because I can't remember the name of the girl I'm taking to dinner on Friday"

There is also the whole have a friend introduce himself.

You can also FB stalk and look at mutual friends to try to identify her.

Equally effective: Ask friends you were with what her name is.

Yeah, I can't ask friends because they weren't around, that's what I normally do. I'll just have to get someone to introduce themselves, don't know why I didn't think of that.

bsaza2358 · 08-11-2010, 08:56 AM

Because you're panicking and aren't thinking rationally. Take a deep breath. The FB angle also works if you know a mutual friend...

Brent · 08-11-2010, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsaza2358

"I was too drunk, and I'm blanking and feel like a dope because I can't remember the name of the girl I'm taking to dinner on Friday"

goddamn that is smooth.

Fat_Actor · 08-13-2010, 10:30 AM

I watched General Hospital (thats right) and Vanessa Marcil dissereves recognition!

Job · 08-13-2010, 01:22 PM

I wonder which thread you were aiming for. TV or Hot Chick?

Mr.Regular · 08-17-2010, 02:47 AM

Girlfriend of nearly 2 years is starting to creep in more and more long term serious relationship hints at me (aka wanting assurance this is it for the longhaul).
Ummmmmm but hell no. I love my girlfriend, but Im going into my last year of university then going on a job hunt come May. Im not ready to handle this as well. Ive put off thinking about whether Im ready to commit long-long-term but now that I am I know Im not ready nor do I want to be. Ive now had thoughts of just ending the relationship outright creep up. I want to be with her but this combined with our relationship hitting a rough patch in the past couple months has me worried.
Whats my play here? Tell her Im not going to tell her or commit to anything long term, cause Im too young and my future is just starting? Or will that just lead to more trouble? Weve been fighting a lot lately, and a lot stems from my unwillingness to commit completely to more than what we are. I dont want to make a promise to someone that I cant keep. In May Ill be likely moving to Toronto to pursue a job and who knows whatll happen.

VUBlacknGold · 08-17-2010, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Regular

Girlfriend of nearly 2 years is starting to creep in more and more long term serious relationship hints at me (aka wanting assurance this is it for the longhaul).
Ummmmmm but hell no. I love my girlfriend, but Im going into my last year of university then going on a job hunt come May. Im not ready to handle this as well. Ive put off thinking about whether Im ready to commit long-long-term but now that I am I know Im not ready nor do I want to be. Ive now had thoughts of just ending the relationship outright creep up. I want to be with her but this combined with our relationship hitting a rough patch in the past couple months has me worried.
Whats my play here? Tell her Im not going to tell her or commit to anything long term, cause Im too young and my future is just starting? Or will that just lead to more trouble? Weve been fighting a lot lately, and a lot stems from my unwillingness to commit completely to more than what we are. I dont want to make a promise to someone that I cant keep. In May Ill be likely moving to Toronto to pursue a job and who knows whatll happen.

Sounds like you shouldnt even be in a relationship man, the whole point is to find out if your compatible to marriage, she thinks so but you dont, so honestly there is no reason to be with her, since its not going to go anywhere. Im not in your situation so i cant really tell you whats good and whats not and thats my opinion on the relationship so yea, you know what you should do probably

Mr.Regular · 08-17-2010, 11:39 AM

I get your point completely.
Problem is, Im just not ready to tell her Im going to be with her for the long haul. Im not ready to make a commitment that big. In the future? Ya, possibly. But my age and circumstances are making me think that commiting to her long term would be irresponsible.
I dont know if this makes sense?! Im just scared of long term commitment, and also scared of promising something I cant keep.

ATLDirtyBirds · 08-17-2010, 03:59 PM

If I was in your spot, I just wouldn't give into the hints and stuff. Just keep it as is. If she starts getting overly serious/psycho about it, move on.

derza222 · 08-17-2010, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Regular

I get your point completely.
Problem is, Im just not ready to tell her Im going to be with her for the long haul. Im not ready to make a commitment that big. In the future? Ya, possibly. But my age and circumstances are making me think that commiting to her long term would be irresponsible.
I dont know if this makes sense?! Im just scared of long term commitment, and also scared of promising something I cant keep.

Have you thought about telling her that/actually told her that? Communication is pretty key, this way she knows what you think about things and can figure out what she thinks from there. Also, does she know you plan on pursuing a job in Toronto? Probably worth bringing up too.

I'd just put your cards on the table and talk it out, no sense in dancing around stuff or just straight up breaking up without discussing your situation...but at the same time if she feels like she needs a commitment despite your take on the situation then it's probably time to move on. I also think your stance is more than reasonable if that helps any.