Relationship Advice Thread - Page 255

Caddy · 12-30-2010, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikes_28

Ugh.........females are so confusing. :(

As most of you know I'm engaged to be married next year.

Let me just give you the run-down of the situation. A girl that i had a thing for in high school that i've been friends with for 6+ years. When I told her a few years back that I had a thing for her, she put me in the friend zone, fine, whatever, i was fine with it. I understood at the time why she put me there. I dealt with it for a while, then i started dating my fiancee, and this girl (her name is hannah, my fiancee's name is brittney), acted like she was happy for me. I started dating brittney 4 years ago, asked her to marry me a year and a half ago.

So in the last year, we haven't really talked to eachother much, she would text me from time to time, we'd go out to breakfast when she's home for christmas/ summer and what not. We do what friends do. Now today she texted me out of the blue and asked if i had anything to do tonight. My obvious answer was no.

Now is where the confusing **** comes in. Today she expressed her feelings towards me, told me she loves me, and told me that she was upset when i started dating brittney 4 years ago. It's like...you couldn't have told me this before i started dating brittney? I'm not a cheater or anything, i didn't do anything with her, and i don't plan to do anything with her. I'm in love with my fiancee now and I want to leave it that way.

I guess what I'm asking, is if girls sometimes do this to try and get a guy to marry another girl. I just don't get it. The timing is totally weird. I get married in 8 months, and the wedding planning is in full force.

Like i said, I'm not a cheater, and i will not pursue hannah, but just the idea over her NOW having feelings for me doesn't make sense to me.

There is no way two girls are interested in you vikes! I'm still unsure your fiance exists.

The Unseen · 12-30-2010, 09:48 PM

Your problem can easily be solved by a threesome

vikes_28 · 12-30-2010, 09:57 PM

my fiancee is totally not into that. Sad day for vikes.

The Unseen · 12-30-2010, 10:32 PM

Okay, I'm going to use this thread for the first time.

There was a chick in my class this past semester. As time went on in class she began to sit beside me and we had some conversations, but nothing much beyond talk about class and the like - she would ask me questions about class or message me about assignments. Nothing special, but she made it a point to sit by me and ask and stuff, so it wasn't like I was pursuing her. The last week of class, I was going to ask her if she wanted to hang out later, probably waiting until the beginning of next semester. But she didn't show up the last two days of class. I wasn't sure what to do, but a couple days later she fb chats me out of the blue and we have a conversation, nothing to do about class initially. Then I ask her if she wants to hang out next semester, she says yes, and I tell her that I'll text her in January.

Wellllllll according to her facebook she is with a guy. I'm not sure if she was during all this, but my question is: what to do? I don't want to waste my time on a dead end, but I think if I didn't text her that I could be missing on something. I'm leaning towards going ahead and texting her, but I'm unsure even if I do that, what I should actually try to do.

vikes_28 · 12-30-2010, 10:39 PM

i would say pursue it until you can't anymore. If she tells you she's dating someone than just leave it alone.

SickwithIt1010 · 12-31-2010, 12:46 AM

Yeah for sure, i would text her and go from there...

Chucky · 12-31-2010, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikes99ej

I wish I could be in the bars or in the class and just ask out any girl I can talk to, but something stops me and makes me hesitate. I must fear women for some reason. I know I can talk to people, I have hobbies and I have reasons to to be confident. I'm sick of using my past or mental illness **** as an excuse, and I just want to say **** it and go for it this last semester, no matter how raw or inexperienced I may be.

Just get drunk and harpoon a few whales to get the confidence up. That should do'er

Nick Castle · 12-31-2010, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chucky

Just get drunk and harpoon a few whales to get the confidence up. That should do'er

This is sound advice and even if that fails, you still have fatty. 8)

ATLDirtyBirds · 12-31-2010, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikes99ej

I wish I could be in the bars or in the class and just ask out any girl I can talk to, but something stops me and makes me hesitate. I must fear women for some reason. I know I can talk to people, I have hobbies and I have reasons to to be confident. I'm sick of using my past or mental illness **** as an excuse, and I just want to say **** it and go for it this last semester, no matter how raw or inexperienced I may be.

1. Then be confident.
2. Don't use it as an excuse, because it's a pretty ******* lame one.
3. Go for it. Don't worry about the games you have to play with girls at this point. Go out, hang out with a girl for a bit, ask her if she wants to do something in a couple of days, and roll from there.

Sniper · 12-31-2010, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

If things fail with this lady, I'm going to do a two-week test on whether wearing a wedding band increases my ability to score with random chicks. If I do this test, I shall report back with results.

And pictures, of course.

Sportsfan486 · 12-31-2010, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sniper

And pictures, of course.

I swear to everything I believe in that if I do this experiment, there will be pictures.

4th date in 2 hours. Very excited. She's bringing and making pizza, I'm making martinis. Should be great!

BeerBaron · 12-31-2010, 08:54 PM

Breaking my Relationship Advice Thread Virginity here....so be gentle.

There's this new part time girl at work. She's a year younger than me, short, pretty cute, Italian, gorgeous eyes (a big deal for me,) and seems pretty nice from limited interaction.

She's one of the people "replacing" me in my previous department since I went full time with the same company but in a different department. (Feels pretty good that I've left 2 jobs in my life, and both times, they needed to hire more than one person to replace me.) So she's been here a few weeks, I've only talked to her in person a couple times in work related matters, but yesterday we got talking over PSI (it's like an intra-building chat program like AIM so departments can talk to other departments without going all over the building.)

And it started off kinda work related, but then she seemed to be getting kinda flirty with me....I'm a terrible flirter, but I did my best and we had a nice little conversation.

And then earlier today, she friended me on Facebook. There, I managed to confirm that she is indeed single.....very interesting.

But there's one thing that just absolutely bugs the hell out of me....she has the faintest hint of a girl mustache. Like, it's just a little darker peach fuzz that you can barely see, but it's there and it bugs me. She's cute otherwise, but this one aspect just kind of bugs me a bit.

Now I'm no one to be judgemental, I have plenty of my own flaws that can pointed out with ease. But this is just driving me nuts. After two down years relationship-wise, I get a little flicker of hope here, so I'm not going to dismiss this over just that.

But would that bother anyone else? Like I said, she's cute and nice otherwise...and perhaps most importantly of all, single.

Any advice?

MetSox17 · 12-31-2010, 08:58 PM

As long as you can keep from staring at it while with her, it shouldn't be a problem. Besides, once you get more comfortable around her, i'm sure you'll learn to overlook it. If she's cute and nice, and she's pursuing you, don't be a dumbass and let something like a little peach fuzz ruin it for you.

ATLDirtyBirds · 12-31-2010, 10:18 PM

Stay away. Or ask her out and when she accepts, tell her the mustache goes ASAP.

Sportsfan486 · 12-31-2010, 10:22 PM

So, my date went well. We both kinda screwed up, her pizza was awful (her words not mine, obviously) so we got pho instead. And she managed to choke on it. LOL.

But it was nice, I enjoy spending time with her. And I got some nice making out after the movie, but her roommate started calling her again and again (she didn't answer) and she had plans to be with her (the roomie just broke up with her boyfriend so is all weepy and alllone.)

The sucky part is she starts school again on Monday and it takes up about 70 hours of her week. But hopefully I'll get to see her again. The kissing was fantastic, so I'm definitely way far away from the friend zone.

Sportsfan486 · 12-31-2010, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ATLDirtyBirds

Stay away. Or ask her out and when she accepts, tell her the mustache goes ASAP.

Shave it while she sleeps?

And I don't get women with this. It's not like weird boobs or even a bad ass, spend $2 on a cheap razor and problem is solved. It's like a dude having a caveman beard. In my opinion, totally kosher to X a girl because of it. You know women would X you because of a caveman beard.

CJSchneider · 12-31-2010, 10:27 PM

As Metsox said, you will learn to overlook it, but just know that 99% of Italian women get hairier as they age. Just giving you something to look forward to.

BeerBaron · 12-31-2010, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

Shave it while she sleeps?

And I don't get women with this. It's not like weird boobs or even a bad ass, spend $2 on a cheap razor and problem is solved. It's like a dude having a caveman beard. In my opinion, totally kosher to X a girl because of it. You know women would X you because of a caveman beard.

That really is why i think I have such an issue with it. A scar, a birthmark, an oddly shaped body part....whatever. There isn't anything (cheap or reasonable) that can be done with those things. In fact, I think they give some character to your image and make you seem human. Someone being too flawless is a little intimidating....

But this....it could easily be solved. Like, there's not way she can't know about it. I noticed it right away. It was like....eyes, gorgeous....chest, moderate, not bad....not fat, that's a plus.....mustache?

If it weren't for that there wouldn't even be a question, I wouldn't hesitate. She's average to above-average in every other way physically, and seems to be reasonably intelligent and a nice person based off of limited interactions.

But the stache bothers me a bit. It's why I hesitate.

Caddy · 12-31-2010, 11:23 PM

You can get that crap waxed off.

Sportsfan486 · 12-31-2010, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caddy

You can get that crap waxed off.

Good luck bringing that up.

I wouldn't date a girl with a stache. If she's too lazy to spend literally 5 seconds shaving that **** every other day, what's she gunna be like in every other respect of her life? No way she doesn't notice it every time she looks in the mirror.

Caddy · 12-31-2010, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

Good luck bringing that up.

I wouldn't date a girl with a stache. If she's too lazy to spend literally 5 seconds shaving that **** every other day, what's she gunna be like in every other respect of her life? No way she doesn't notice it every time she looks in the mirror.

It would annoy me till no end I think. Sounds like one of those things that after you notice it the first time, you just can't stop noticing.

killxswitch · 12-31-2010, 11:39 PM

No excuse for facial hair on a woman. Ever. It isn't like you can date her and eventually bring it up. She'll be all "has this been bothering you the whole time?" She has to know it's there so she must think it's ok. Which means if you bring it up it will be a problem.

BeerBaron · 01-01-2011, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by killxswitch

No excuse for facial hair on a woman. Ever. It isn't like you can date her and eventually bring it up. She'll be all "has this been bothering you the whole time?" She has to know it's there so she must think it's ok. Which means if you bring it up it will be a problem.

Yeah...and even if it ever came up by some other means, like someone else mentioning it, you know she would ask what I think. And then you're in trap city....no good way to handle it.

CJSchneider · 01-01-2011, 10:19 AM

It boils down to this - it is something you can live with and you want a relationship, or it is something you can't live with and you will hit and quit.

jballa838 · 01-01-2011, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJSchneider

It boils down to this - it is something you can live with and you want a relationship, or it is something you can't live with and you will Toot it and boot it?

modernized it for you. and isn't that what every relationship boils down to?