BOE's School of Love Thread

[bored of education]

Need advice your boy BOE is here to help

[Brent]

dear BOE,

how do I get rid of AIDS?

[Shane P. Hallam]

Dear BOE,

Crickett's tusks provide a large obstacle in bed. What should I do?

[Shane P. Hallam]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

Dear BOE,

Crickett's tusks provide a large obstacle in bed. What should I do?

And to clarify, I mean the robot, not the poster.

[CaneBang]

Dear BOE,

Long time reader, I have a colorful discharge emerging from my "Thunder Down Under", what do I do?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Brent

dear BOE,

how do I get rid of AIDS?

bleach and sandpaper.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

And to clarify, I mean the robot, not the poster.

they only make it more fun, not an obstacle

[Giantsfan1080]

Long time listener, first time poster,

How do you fake getting so much vag?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by CaneBang

Dear BOE,

Long time reader, I have a colorful discharge emerging from my "Thunder Down Under", what do I do?

Well, depending on color.

Red - qtip inside the tip of your ***** for a week you will be fine
green - chop it off
pinkish/blue - kill yourself

[DeepThreat]

Dear BOE,

I'm having a hard time picking up chicks. Would you recommend roofies or another drug of a similar nature?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Giantsfan1080

Long time listener, first time poster,

How do you fake getting so much vag?

for every 7 chicks i say I have banged, i have banged one

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by DeepThreat

Dear BOE,

I'm having a hard time picking up chicks. Would you recommend roofies or another drug of a similar nature?

35 gallon garbage bag, bag of lime, duct tape and shovel

[Shane P. Hallam]

Dear BOE,

I am dating a woman who is a mortician. She wants to have sex in a graveyard in an open grave. I am very uncomfortable with this. How should I confront her?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

Dear BOE,

I am dating a woman who is a mortician. She wants to have sex in a graveyard in an open grave. I am very uncomfortable with this. How should I confront her?

Make her play dead in the grave, kill her then you will be more comfortable.

Also, black lipstick and paint your nails black before hand make it a much more enjoyable experience.

[Brent]

dear BOE,

There are not many women where I live. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it "Federated States Of Micronesia." Is having sex with livestock a viable option? I was considering sheep, what are your thoughts? Also, I enjoy rubbing Poi on my *****, is that a poor choice?

[CJSchneider]

Dear BOE,

I recently caught my younger sister watching porn. What course of action do you recommend?

[ElectricEye]

Dear BOE,

I am alone in Bangkok with several thousand dollars on my person. What do I to get the best value for my dollar?

[Hurricanes25]

Dear BOE,
My girlfriend has a *****. How should I approach this?
Sincerely,
the dong

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Brent

dear BOE,

There are not many women where I live. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call it "Federated States Of Micronesia." Is having sex with livestock a viable option? I was considering sheep, what are your thoughts? Also, I enjoy rubbing Poi on my *****, is that a poor choice?

Well sir, you have addresed me with a complex issue. When there are a lack of females you always have to resort to livestock. I personally would take the route of smothering sheep with coconut oil and drinking large amounts of Malibu rum. Then you throw on Colt Brennan jersey on the sheep and proceed to an epic night of love making. Two things, the oil prevents the razor burn because midfornicating i enjoy shaving the sheep's coats off, second, once the wool is saturated i go to market and trade for other lovely items. like aborted fetuses.

[Shane P. Hallam]

Dear BOE,

Everyone on this Draft Forum I post on makes fun of me. What lies can I tell to make them respect me?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by CJSchneider

Dear BOE,

I recently caught my younger sister watching porn. What course of action do you recommend?

If you want to beat it join her!

[DeepThreat]

Dear BOE,

My girlfriend recently moved to Australia, moving me into a deep state of depression. My already considerable drinking problem only grew worse upon her move. I am now having problems getting it up, and have simply been pissing off people on the internet. What should I do?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by ElectricEye

Dear BOE,

I am alone in Bangkok with several thousand dollars on my person. What do I to get the best value for my dollar?

You should pay me for the epic advice that I have given you, then buy every hooker and start an LLC using legalzoom.com and market that **** and make money back 10000 fold!

[Paul]

Hey Boe,

My girlfriend is getting a bit rounded around the edges, and I don't like it. She's around 55lbs right now. What is the best way to tell her that I'll find her grotesquely if she pushes over that 55, and everyman will ridicule her mercilessly for being a fat *****, without further contributing to her serious anorexia problem?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Hurricanes25

Dear BOE,
My girlfriend has a *****. How should I approach this?
Sincerely,
the dong

Ummm, in the butt no rubber