BOE's School of Love Thread

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

Dear BOE,

Everyone on this Draft Forum I post on makes fun of me. What lies can I tell to make them respect me?

Well you must make up stories about fornicating numerous women, then talk about how your uncle knows a regional scout for the Seahawks and he is getting you a job, then talk about killing yourself, then kill yourself.

[ElectricEye]

Dear BOE,

My girlfriends father passed away this week and she is very upset. I feel like I have been incredibly understanding about the situation and helping her move on from the emotional trauma she has been dealing with. How do I parlay this into introducing anal?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by DeepThreat

Dear BOE,

My girlfriend recently moved to Australia, moving me into a deep state of depression. My already considerable drinking problem only grew worse upon her move. I am now having problems getting it up, and have simply been pissing off people on the internet. What should I do?

Now this is a tough case of 'my life sucks', drink yourself until you wake up in a puddle of your piss. Then purchase some ****** and go to a local Prom and pick up some freshies.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Paul

Hey Boe,

My girlfriend is getting a bit rounded around the edges, and I don't like it. She's around 55lbs right now. What is the best way to tell her that I'll find her grotesquely if she pushes over that 55, and everyman will ridicule her mercilessly for being a fat *****, without further contributing to her serious anorexia problem?

Make her swallow your kid and in a bulemic fashion have her give you oral satisfaction until she vomits, that is bound to keep her under 55lbs. See I like it the opposite I want them over 255 so its a tough one here sir. Thanks hope I was a help.

[Shane P. Hallam]

Dear BOE,

Sometimes I hear my girlfriend using a vibrator. When I catch her, she claims it is just some massaging device from Brookstone. How do I get her to tell the truth?

[Crickett]

Dear BOE,

I recently cheated on....... the SWDC skype community with a skype community from a different forum. Now, this is a forum I chatted with on skype pretty regularly for a few months early last ago, but a lot of drama I didn't really fully understand built up and I left them around May of last year in what was a fairly bitter parting. I occasionally check up on this forum, but fairly infrequently, just to see how the forum is doing, but my interest in participating dissipates fairly quickly.

What should I do?

[Brent]

dear BOE,

I am currently dating a girl who has lots of money and takes me to Colts games, however, I don't like her that much. How do I get anal from this before she departs for Spain?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by ElectricEye

Dear BOE,

My girlfriends father passed away this week and she is very upset. I feel like I have been incredibly understanding about the situation and helping her move on from the emotional trauma she has been dealing with. How do I parlay this into introducing anal?

If you are good, you can parlay any situation good or bad into a situation that induces anal. Just say the pain you feel in your hear from the loss of your father will be much less than the pain you will feel. It will make her really forget about her loss.

[Shane P. Hallam]

Dear BOE,

I am one of the few successful black coaches in the NFL, but people think I am extremely stupid. How do I use my sex life to prove them wrong?

TomTom Out.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

Dear BOE,

Sometimes I hear my girlfriend using a vibrator. When I catch her, she claims it is just some massaging device from Brookstone. How do I get her to tell the truth?

Catch her in the act. That always helps.

[Don Vito]

Dear BOE,

I met this girl and we quickly hit it off. I brought her home and I proceeded to lay my game down, but she said that she "was not ready". Despite her attempts to squirm away, we did the deed. It was amazing and I need to see her again. I have had no contact with her since I drove her back to Chuck-E-Cheese's. What do you suggest my next move be?

[Brent]

dear BOE,

I used to be overweight, but recently I switched to an all-corndog diet. How do I get girls to like me when my body odor and breathe all smell like corndogs?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Crickett

Dear BOE,

I recently cheated on....... the SWDC skype community with a skype community from a different forum. Now, this is a forum I chatted with on skype pretty regularly for a few months early last ago, but a lot of drama I didn't really fully understand built up and I left them around May of last year in what was a fairly bitter parting. I occasionally check up on this forum, but fairly infrequently, just to see how the forum is doing, but my interest in participating dissipates fairly quickly.

What should I do?

Well sir, I may not respond to you in an educational manner. I feel hurted. But I will tell you this, cheating leads to infinite sadness and once you reach that point and come crawling back you will not be accepted. Thanks

[scottyboy]

Dear BOE,
I love you.
What should I do?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Brent

dear BOE,

I am currently dating a girl who has lots of money and takes me to Colts games, however, I don't like her that much. How do I get anal from this before she departs for Spain?

Paint the number 18 in blue on your white ***** she will accept it in any orifice.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Shane P. Hallam

Dear BOE,

I am one of the few successful black coaches in the NFL, but people think I am extremely stupid. How do I use my sex life to prove them wrong?

TomTom Out.

Whip it out 24-7. Works for men of a color.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by scottyboy

Dear BOE,
I love you.
What should I do?

Do what makes you feel good. It makes me feel good.

[ElectricEye]

Dear BOE,

I just tried what you said with my girlfriend and she swallowed a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt that has yet to succeed. Do I still proceed with the plan?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Don Vito

Dear BOE,

I met this girl and we quickly hit it off. I brought her home and I proceeded to lay my game down, but she said that she "was not ready". Despite her attempts to squirm away, we did the deed. It was amazing and I need to see her again. I have had no contact with her since I drove her back to Chuck-E-Cheese's. What do you suggest my next move be?

Get a job at that said Chuck-E-Cheese and you will find her. Once they go the Chucks they go at least 19 more times before the age of 18.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by Brent

dear BOE,

I used to be overweight, but recently I switched to an all-corndog diet. How do I get girls to like me when my body odor and breathe all smell like corndogs?

Sounds like you may also be the type of cheat @ video games as well. Altoids. Altoids. Altoids. Works for masking every awful smell. Dye your hair brown too.

[WMD]

BOE I want to rape everyone that's trying too hard to be funny in this thread. That includes you. What color condom should I wear when performing a mass rape?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by ElectricEye

Dear BOE,

I just tried what you said with my girlfriend and she swallowed a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt that has yet to succeed. Do I still proceed with the plan?

punch her in the throat over and over and over and over and over until I tell you to stop, ok.

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by WMD

BOE I want to rape everyone that's trying too hard to be funny in this thread. That includes you. What color condom should I wear when performing a mass rape?

the invisible BOEZO condoms. best ones.

[ElectricEye]

Dear BOE,

I recently tried to order root beer from a girl at burger king that was a different ethnicity than me. I couldn't understand her accent and much to my surprise when I pulled up to the window it was a coworker. I drove off post haste and played it off like it wasn't me. How do approach our next encounter?

[bored of education]

Originally Posted by ElectricEye

Dear BOE,

I recently tried to order root beer from a girl at burger king that was a different ethnicity than me. I couldn't understand her accent and much to my surprise when I pulled up to the window it was a coworker. I drove off post haste and played it off like it wasn't me. How do approach our next encounter?

Learn her language via Rosetta stone and order root beer in her language. That is a way straight to her heart.