Relationship Advice Thread - Page 326

Prowler · 05-11-2012, 04:00 PM

I do have a few red flags. Like joining the Army next year and going through OCS. She's supportive and proud but the prospect of me not being around has to scare the **** out of her. She'd never admit that in a million years though, but I don't know how it wouldn't.

Ness · 05-11-2012, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prowler

I do have a few red flags. Like joining the Army next year and going through OCS. She's supportive and proud but the prospect of me not being around has to scare the **** out of her. She'd never admit that in a million years though, but I don't know how it wouldn't.

You are joining the military next year? Are you sure you want to commit to a relationship then? I mean even if you guys get along great initially and are together for a year...being away is being away. Make sure you think long and hard about what you really want to pursue. Girls, all kinds, come and go.

Prowler · 05-11-2012, 04:29 PM

I spent a lot of nights thinking about that, but I'm taking this one. It would haunt me forever if I didn't find out for sure. If she turns me down then I can focus on my career, and if she joins me then she can enjoy spending my money and benefits. I'll do my best to surround her with our family and friends for when I'd be gone.

Who knows anyway? I could blow my knee out in basic and be done before I even start. I figured I can just take it one day at a time.

Ness · 05-11-2012, 04:36 PM

Well good luck whatever you decide to do. I hope it works out for you.

njx9 · 05-11-2012, 04:43 PM

it's the advice thread, so advice you get:

no part of this sounds like a remotely good idea. there is absolutely nothing in this 'relationship' that i could even begin to validate as being an actual relationship, beyond your feelings for her. further, if she's this willing to mess around on a 5 year relationship, i don't see any reason not to believe she'd do the same the minute you end up away. you're setting yourself up for failure and heartbreak.

*shrug*

StickSkills · 05-11-2012, 04:48 PM

Bad sign or she just nervous? This girl told me about some new place in town so I met her there for lunch after I left filling out paperwork for work. I called her to tell her I was leaving and she asked me if it is alright if "Girl B" joins us. I said sure, but "girl b" was having lunch with her mother.

So anyways, again, bad sign or she just nervous?

CashmoneyDrew · 05-11-2012, 05:19 PM

Bad sign, IMO.

Hurricanes25 · 05-11-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickSkills

Bad sign or she just nervous? This girl told me about some new place in town so I met her there for lunch after I left filling out paperwork for work. I called her to tell her I was leaving and she asked me if it is alright if "Girl B" joins us. I said sure, but "girl b" was having lunch with her mother.

So anyways, again, bad sign or she just nervous?

If she made the plans, she probably got nervous.

If you asked to meet her for lunch and she wanted to bring a friend, that would be a bad sign.

StickSkills · 05-14-2012, 09:26 PM

Hmm, well we'll find out soon. As they say, never chase girls, chase dreams first.

ATLDirtyBirds · 05-14-2012, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickSkills

Hmm, well we'll find out soon. As they say, never chase girls, chase dreams first.

I've never had a dream in my life, because a dream is something you want, but still haven't pursued.

StickSkills · 05-14-2012, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ATLDirtyBirds

I've never had a dream in my life, because a dream is something you want, but still haven't pursued.

I've never succeeded because I'm never done. With that said, I won't budge on this one.

djp · 05-15-2012, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djp

Just got this text:

"Ok, so I'm an honest person, and no matter what your answer, we're cool, but obviously I have a crush on you, so you have to fill me in on if I should continue to or not!"

Sent back: "I think you're an awesome person and I like hanging out with you, but I don't know if there's anything more than that right now. I don't want to lead you on, I'm sorry"

Yay or nay? Too cold? She's a great chick, but I'm just not feeling it. I feel bad. Better now than later, I suppose.

Also, her friends are friends with my friends, so I'll be seeing her again no matter what. Any tips to make it less awkward next time? Like I said, I'd love to just be friends with her, but ****, this kinda ruins it now

I'm almost ashamed of this post because I've actually been in a relationship with this girl for about 18 months and am completely in love. Just a reminded to everyone to never judge a book by its cover. Pretty crazy to read this post now.

StickSkills · 05-15-2012, 10:14 PM

So I take it you didn't send that to her and you two smanged?

djp · 05-15-2012, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickSkills

So I take it you didn't send that to her and you two smanged?

No, I did send that to her. She was just very persistent. Something that I am very thankful for.

StickSkills · 05-17-2012, 09:43 PM

For what it's worth, was over at that girls place and said, "Would you want to go to dinner sometime, like on a date." (made sure to specify that it would be a date) and she said yes immediately.

CJSchneider · 05-17-2012, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ness

You are joining the military next year? Are you sure you want to commit to a relationship then? I mean even if you guys get along great initially and are together for a year...being away is being away. Make sure you think long and hard about what you really want to pursue. Girls, all kinds, come and go.

Quoted for truth.

holt_bruce81 · 05-18-2012, 06:13 AM

I'm going on a date Saturday with this one waitress I met. Everytime I go to her restaraunt we always seem to catch the other one starring so Finally I asked for her number and hey success.

The only thing is I'm 26 and she's 19. So I don't know if we're going to be looking for the same things. Plus it'll be tough with her not being 21 yet, all my friends love chillin at bars and grabbin a few drinks.

I talk to my friends about it and I don't know, my work friends are weird, this one guy is 24 years old and he says he absolutely will not date anyone younger than 21. But then I got my high school friends who give me...As long as she's 18 man and you guys like eachother, go for it.

Caddy · 05-18-2012, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by holt_bruce81

I'm going on a date Saturday with this one waitress I met. Everytime I go to her restaraunt we always seem to catch the other one starring so Finally I asked for her number and hey success.

The only thing is I'm 26 and she's 19. So I don't know if we're going to be looking for the same things. Plus it'll be tough with her not being 21 yet, all my friends love chillin at bars and grabbin a few drinks.

I talk to my friends about it and I don't know, my work friends are weird, this one guy is 24 years old and he says he absolutely will not date anyone younger than 21. But then I got my high school friends who give me...As long as she's 18 man and you guys like eachother, go for it.

I personally think that is too young for you - dating wise of course ;) . Girls that age are ******* stupid.

holt_bruce81 · 05-18-2012, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caddy

I personally think that is too young for you - dating wise of course ;) . Girls that age are ******* stupid.

Yeah.....but **** she's hott.

Caddy · 05-18-2012, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by holt_bruce81

Yeah.....but **** she's hott.

Fantastic, if you just want to bang. If you are expecting a serious relationship, I'd be extremely hesitant.

georgiafan · 05-18-2012, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caddy

Fantastic, if you just want to bang. If you are expecting a serious relationship, I'd be extremely hesitant.

This dont go in excpecting anything serious and you should be fine

thefalconer · 05-18-2012, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgiafan

This dont go in excpecting anything serious and you should be fine

some real life advice here.

RCAChainGang · 05-26-2012, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RCAChainGang

Hey I wrote up a post about a girl a while ago, but I'll just jump into it rather than try to sum things up from the previous post.

I'm in more of a reflective state because the whole thing is over. This girl "wasn't ready for a relationship" so I told her we could be friends and I was going to do my best to move on. Well, she saw that she didn't get nearly as much attention as she used to from me so she flirted with me a lot. It was really hard, but I was able to keep myself from getting roped in. Finally, she tells me that she can see me moving on and if I'm still open she wants to date me because she really likes me.

I told her to think, sleep, and pray about it and we would talk about it. She got back to me and said she wanted to pursue dating. So we went out to eat after a play I was in. Things went well and conversation was good. We held hands and that's as far as it went for the night because we met up with some friends afterwards.

I am a theatre major so I have a lot of [EDIT: homosexual] friends and she was cuddling and talking to them a lot. She just didn't act at all how she did before we were dating. I was really pissed off, but I was able to keep my emotions in check.

Finally I had enough. I told her we needed to talk and it would take merely 15 minutes cause she was really good at flaking. In that 15 minute conversation she said "I'm not ready for a relationship" and "I liked the idea of you rather than you." I asked her if she ever could see herself being ready for a relationship with me and she said no.

I guess I just wonder what I could have possibly done wrong in one date. All of her friends said that I did everything right and they were kinda mad at her for doing this to me. I know it is hard for you guys to critique something I didn't summarize very well, but I guess I'm just wondering about better dating methods. I don't want to make a girl uncomfortable, but I want to be a leader in a relationship. It is just all really hard because she was so immature about everything. I'm merely finishing my freshman year in college so I have plenty of time. I'm just kinda left in this wake feeling like absolute crap. It was really a shot to my confidence. Thanks guys and I appreciate any advice for getting over her and having successful relationships in the future.

Posted this earlier on. I just got hit with something that hurt really bad to be honest. So while we were dating there was this guy who was a complete tool and flirts with everyone. He flirted with this girl and I didn't think much of it, although it bothered me. This summer I went back home, but this guy stayed and took summer classes while the girl I was pursuing lives close to campus. He messages me and says the playful meaningless flirting has turned into something. They are together now. I also mentioned earlier that I was going to see a lot of my friends from school at a six flags trip. Well, the girl and the guy will be there.

I guess I just wanted to vent. It seems like girls want the shallow jerk rather than someone who really cares for them. I just never wanted to treat her poorly and it bit me in the ass. I just don't understand why this happened. I was doing great until I got this message and now I feel as bad as ever. Damn I wish I had not dated this girl. I still want to go on the six flags trip to see all my other friends. Should I just avoid her? Am I just a ***** or would you guys be pissed and feel rejected too?

badgerbacker · 06-08-2012, 10:07 PM

So, a little backstory...I'm getting married in a few weeks and one of the groomsmen is my future brother-in-law. He just graduated from high school and is in that phase where he gets kind of embarrassed by his family and therefore doesn't have a great time at weddings. Because of this, we were pretty pumped that he started dating this girl a few months back because then he would have somebody to bring to the wedding and hopefully have a good time with. Well, she just broke up with him. Bitches.

Is there anything that can be done? His dad talked to me about a month back to make sure I watch out for him (drinking wise) at the bachelor party and reception since he's still pretty young, so I can't just get him trashed. I'm hoping we can maybe hook him up with someone at the wedding, but any other ideas?

Brothgar · 06-08-2012, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgerbacker

So, a little backstory...I'm getting married in a few weeks and one of the groomsmen is my future brother-in-law. He just graduated from high school and is in that phase where he gets kind of embarrassed by his family and therefore doesn't have a great time at weddings. Because of this, we were pretty pumped that he started dating this girl a few months back because then he would have somebody to bring to the wedding and hopefully have a good time with. Well, she just broke up with him. Bitches.

Is there anything that can be done? His dad talked to me about a month back to make sure I watch out for him (drinking wise) at the bachelor party and reception since he's still pretty young, so I can't just get him trashed. I'm hoping we can maybe hook him up with someone at the wedding, but any other ideas?