Relationship Advice Thread - Page 361

Rosebud · 11-19-2012, 02:43 PM

I just don't get kids these days.

killxswitch · 11-19-2012, 03:04 PM

How about some backstory, Phins? It sounds like you weren't the one that broke up with her. If she broke up with you, AND is annoyed at having to pick you up at the airport (and thus not excited to see you), what real hope do you have here? There has to be a reason. Backstory. Go.

Da-Phins · 11-19-2012, 05:56 PM

Ok so she dumped me a few months ago.

The story was that she has alot on her plate right now. Alot of family issues and other stuff going on. So she doesnt have time for relationship, doesnt want one and wants to be on her own for a while. She knew it wasnt fair for me and she thought I deserved better then that so she told me straight up its not working right now. She did tell me that in the future, if she wants a relationship again that she hopes I would give her another chance. So she never put the nail in the coffin about us. The way she made it sound was we are taking a break due to her problems and the whole 9.

We did leave on good terms and she does miss me but she knew she had to make a choice. Some of my friends say its stupid and Im just hurting myself. Saying its not healthy to hang on. Saying I shouldnt be texting her almost daily. But I wouldnt be if she told me this is it, its over. Since she told me we have a good chance of getting back, Im holding on patiently waiting.

I dunno. Guess I just want to see the good and try to be in her shoes to understand. Guess Im giving her the benefit of the doubt.

MetSox17 · 11-19-2012, 06:06 PM

If you're gonna wait around, at least go **** some other bitches in the mean time. You can't be waiting for her by the door like a ******* pet dog. And spend Thanksgiving with your own family, seriously.

pierce2walker · 11-19-2012, 06:13 PM

Not saying it is, but it could be that she just wanted to get with other people, gave you the "it's not you, it's me", and wants to string you along in case she needs a fallback. As MetSox said, you might as well get with other chicks in the meantime and for sure spend Thanksgiving with the family.

Raiderz4Life · 11-19-2012, 06:15 PM

Metsox is a wise man.

Brent · 11-19-2012, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da-Phins

Some of my friends say its stupid and Im just hurting myself. Saying its not healthy to hang on. Saying I shouldnt be texting her almost daily. But I wouldnt be if she told me this is it, its over. Since she told me we have a good chance of getting back, Im holding on patiently waiting.

Dude. Seriously. What the hell?

CashmoneyDrew · 11-19-2012, 06:52 PM

Da-Phins, please learn from the mistakes of others. She is stringing you along and unfortunately it sounds like you're falling for it hook, line, and sinker.

Don't be a total MOTH here. Spend time with your family and go have some fun with your life. Don't penalize yourself because of her actions.

BaLLiN · 11-19-2012, 07:15 PM

I dont want to go as far as saying she is stringing you along, but i would resist giving in to acting as a boyfriend when she is not reciprocating it. I would wait till it is an actual relationship before doing something like going to her thanksgiving. You don't owe her anything

Forenci · 11-19-2012, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da-Phins

Ok so she dumped me a few months ago.

The story was that she has alot on her plate right now. Alot of family issues and other stuff going on. So she doesnt have time for relationship, doesnt want one and wants to be on her own for a while. She knew it wasnt fair for me and she thought I deserved better then that so she told me straight up its not working right now. She did tell me that in the future, if she wants a relationship again that she hopes I would give her another chance. So she never put the nail in the coffin about us. The way she made it sound was we are taking a break due to her problems and the whole 9.

We did leave on good terms and she does miss me but she knew she had to make a choice. Some of my friends say its stupid and Im just hurting myself. Saying its not healthy to hang on. Saying I shouldnt be texting her almost daily. But I wouldnt be if she told me this is it, its over. Since she told me we have a good chance of getting back, Im holding on patiently waiting.

I dunno. Guess I just want to see the good and try to be in her shoes to understand. Guess Im giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah that's awful. I don't always agree with Metsox (I don't know if I'd suggest banging random chicks and still being interested in her) but I agree she's stringing you along.

BigDawg819 · 11-19-2012, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da-Phins

Ok so she dumped me a few months ago.

The story was that she has alot on her plate right now. Alot of family issues and other stuff going on. So she doesnt have time for relationship, doesnt want one and wants to be on her own for a while. She knew it wasnt fair for me and she thought I deserved better then that so she told me straight up its not working right now. She did tell me that in the future, if she wants a relationship again that she hopes I would give her another chance. So she never put the nail in the coffin about us. The way she made it sound was we are taking a break due to her problems and the whole 9.

We did leave on good terms and she does miss me but she knew she had to make a choice. Some of my friends say its stupid and Im just hurting myself. Saying its not healthy to hang on. Saying I shouldnt be texting her almost daily. But I wouldnt be if she told me this is it, its over. Since she told me we have a good chance of getting back, Im holding on patiently waiting.

I dunno. Guess I just want to see the good and try to be in her shoes to understand. Guess Im giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I feel your pain and in basically the same exact situation. I don't fault you for holding on so to speak. Was with my girl 3 years and she went away for a weekend and came back with the whole "she needs to be on her own" bit. It hurts, no other way to say it, but I love her. And as long as there is hope I'm going to hold on to it.

SickwithIt1010 · 11-19-2012, 08:51 PM

Shes definitely stringing him along. Chicks pull this **** all the time, I cant be with you right now but in the future we can. That is such ******* bull ****...you're either all in or not at all. There is no half assing it if you are in a full on relationship. She obviously doesn't care enough to continue the relationship because thats what a boyfriend/girlfriend help with...getting through the tough times, so she should WANT you to be around her right now. You gotta tell this broad to **** herself, and start finding some puss to pound.

nobodyinparticular · 11-20-2012, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da-Phins

Ok so she dumped me a few months ago.

The story was that she has alot on her plate right now. Alot of family issues and other stuff going on. So she doesnt have time for relationship, doesnt want one and wants to be on her own for a while. She knew it wasnt fair for me and she thought I deserved better then that so she told me straight up its not working right now. She did tell me that in the future, if she wants a relationship again that she hopes I would give her another chance. So she never put the nail in the coffin about us. The way she made it sound was we are taking a break due to her problems and the whole 9.

We did leave on good terms and she does miss me but she knew she had to make a choice. Some of my friends say its stupid and Im just hurting myself. Saying its not healthy to hang on. Saying I shouldnt be texting her almost daily. But I wouldnt be if she told me this is it, its over. Since she told me we have a good chance of getting back, Im holding on patiently waiting.

I dunno. Guess I just want to see the good and try to be in her shoes to understand. Guess Im giving her the benefit of the doubt.

This is an absolute disaster waiting to happen. You have to make a clean break from this chick. If it comes back around later, that's fine, but you have to move on from this.

Brent · 11-20-2012, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDawg819

I feel your pain and in basically the same exact situation. I don't fault you for holding on so to speak. Was with my girl 3 years and she went away for a weekend and came back with the whole "she needs to be on her own" bit. It hurts, no other way to say it, but I love her. And as long as there is hope I'm going to hold on to it.

What the hell, you guys?

Caddy · 11-20-2012, 07:29 AM

Why don't people realise these girls are just using that tired spiel as an excuse to break-up...

njx9 · 11-20-2012, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caddy

Why don't people realise these girls are just using that tired spiel as an excuse to break-up...

because puppy-love and first-real-relationship and etc.

it's that thing most people do in high school and learn from before college.

killxswitch · 11-20-2012, 01:04 PM

Not much to add. You guys hanging on are in bad situations. Even if you did get back with your ex (which is what she is, don't try to kid yourself that she's anything else, there is no mystical middle ground that only you and her understand), you will be on unequal footing and you will eventually get resentful. Phins you should listen to your friends, they're right.

Rosebud · 11-20-2012, 01:29 PM

Phins are trying to bone her friend/sister or something? That I could at least wrap my head around.

BigBlueNorwegian · 11-21-2012, 02:51 AM

Yeah, I agree completely with the other guys here, do not get strung along by that "maybe in the future"-****.

I dated this girl a couple of years back, and we had been seeing each other for three months or something without putting a label on it. I was really falling for her, but knew that she was going back to her hometown for summer vacation. So I told her I would like for her to be my girlfriend, something she at first seemed very happy to hear.

Then, two days later, I got the same ******* speech you guys got, about "it not feeling right, but maybe after the summer", blah blah blah. I told her she would have no chance after the summer, and that it was now or never. If she genuinely believed we had a shot at a relationship, she should want to commit to that without even thinking twice about it.

Now the funny thing about this is that this girl actually came back after the summer and tried to get back together with me, but I told her to **** off. The smartest thing I have ever done. I don't need to be dealing with flaky girls like that, who can't make up their minds if they want me or not. It will more than likely only lead to heartbreak, and I don't need that in my life.

There are plenty of girls out there, don't waste your time on the flaky girls who likes/tries to string you along. Now I get that your situations are a bit different, because you've been in relationships with the girls, but the same rule still applies. Girls do this **** to get an ego-boost, and/or have a fallback plan. I'm sorry, but it's the truth, and I have confirmation on this from girl friends of mine.

Sorry guys, but the only wise thing to do is to cut the cord, and never look back. And be very wary if they come back begging for a relationship again, because the reason for it could just as well be that they want to get you hooked again, without really having any intentions of being with you again.

pierce2walker · 11-21-2012, 04:20 AM

Yup, I know guys and girls are very different, but think about it if you were in her shoes. Imagine you had been hooking up with a girl for a while and after a certain point she said she wanted to make it official. If you were really into her you would be ecstatic and say you felt the same way. Now, if you made an excuse as to why you didn't want to get into a real relationship why would they be? Because you aren't really that into her and you likely want to keep your options open, but at the same time you might try to keep her around just in case the other options fall apart.

BigDawg819 · 11-21-2012, 01:46 PM

Its funny to hear all these comments. Especially seeing the ones where guys liken a few months to 3 years or that it's first love. I know where my heart lies, I have no clue where hers lies. My love is genuine and I won't apologize for that. Nor will I sacrifice myself for her. I'm taking a step back, rebuilding my life. If she wants to come back then we see if we can work it out. If not then one day I'll move on.

BigBlueNorwegian · 11-21-2012, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDawg819

Its funny to hear all these comments. Especially seeing the ones where guys liken a few months to 3 years or that it's first love. I know where my heart lies, I have no clue where hers lies. My love is genuine and I won't apologize for that. Nor will I sacrifice myself for her. I'm taking a step back, rebuilding my life. If she wants to come back then we see if we can work it out. If not then one day I'll move on.

Well, I did point out the difference, before telling you that it really doesn't matter if you were together with the girl for three weeks, three months or three years. The point is, it's over, and she's trying to keep stringing you along, to have a backup plan.

Of course, this is your life, and you probably shouldn't live it in a certain way because some guys on a football forum told you to. And every situation is different, so we can't guarantee that we are correct here. But don't say we didn't warn you if what we said would happen indeed happens.

Because that scenario is the most likely, objectively speaking.

Rosebud · 11-21-2012, 04:02 PM

Good for you man. I really hope that it does work out for you, but don't forget that we tried to warn you when it doesn't.

njx9 · 11-21-2012, 04:04 PM

*shakes head*

whatever. everyone eventually learns that waiting around for someone is idiotic.

pierce2walker · 11-21-2012, 04:19 PM

Yea to be fair I feel like most of us here have learned lessons by making bad relationship decisions often against the advice of others. But that's how you learn.