Relationship Advice Thread - Page 382

holt_bruce81 · 02-25-2013, 10:45 PM

I'm asking because that's all the chick who was in the relationship (talked about above) would ask me when she got drunk. And a few nights ago she texted me "show me junior" Idk what this is.

I'm trying to be a good friend. But eventually im gonna wanna show her junior. Unless she's just kidding around

scottyboy · 02-25-2013, 10:52 PM

yeah, she wants it.

also, met this girl a week or 2 ago. hooked up drunk, got her number. we've started talking really this week. she's got a **** load of science classes so it's been library hangouts. she's really nice and really ******* cute but like...it just doesn't seem to click. i pulled the moves, walked her home, made out on her front porch (too early for the invite in, I guess) it's just...usually I get all giddy when i've got a new prospective girl, especially one as cute as her but it's not there.

am I just over-thinking things with her?

Raiderz4Life · 02-25-2013, 10:56 PM

I'd say just relax and let it flow. Give it a little more time. Maybe see if you can do something were scotty can be scotty and if still no click then...oh well you tried.

CashmoneyDrew · 02-25-2013, 11:04 PM

You not being all giddy means you have all the power.

Use it wisely.

TitanHope · 02-26-2013, 12:34 AM

I've got a friend who has been dating his girlfriend for two years, albeit in two different chunks separated by a few weeks. The other day, he used her iPad which is connected to her phone or something or other. Anyway, he got to get a free peek at her text messages and i believe her facebook was logged in as well. He found some recent messages from her to a guy saying how she loved him and saying how she enjoyed being with him the other day (ie. Screwing each other). He also found some messages from her to a guy friend of hers where she said that her and the other guy have had sex 6 times, and how she only came once because she was on top. Total unabashed sluttery.

The guy she admitted to sleeping with in the message is an ex of hers, and they dated in that weeks long gap I mentioned. She had been dating my friend for about a year and a half, dumped him, and was in a relationship with the bastard two days later. I've never seen the dude look so gloomy. Anyway, the girl eventually broke it off with the guy because he wasn't moral enough for her. My friend and her started romantically talking again, and inevitably got back together. I wasn't glad he took her back, but I understood it because this girl is his first love. He doesn't know any better than to exert horrendous judgement.

They got back together about 4-5 months ago. In that time, my friend has broken off all contact with his family. His girlfriend doesn't like them, claims they don't like her, and she talks **** about them without provocation right in front of him. He doesn't like it, but for whatever reason, allows her to do it. He went to talk with his mom in person once, and when the girl found out, she drove from Minnesota (where she was undergoing medical treatment, as she has A LOT of chronic medical problems and has had them most of her life) back to Tennessee in a massive tantrum. She made him choose between her and them, and he chose her.

She approaches being the focus of his attention in the same fascist manner. He just graduated college, and thanks in part to his dad, got a teaching job at a middle school here. He also volunteered to asst. coach the soccer team too. He's busy all the time, but when he has time, he spends it with her. He usually goes over to her parents' house where she still lives because she's apparently always feeling bad. Her family is very well off, but they're actually quite nice and adore my friend. But he's always over there or with her, which doesn't lend time for him to hang with me and our shared, close friend. I haven't even talked to the dude since November up until Saturday when I got an urgent invite to come hangout, which is when he told us everything. Talking to another girl is so out of the question because of how she'll react, he tries to just ignore the existance of any girl he comes in contact with.

Also, I need to point out he's religious and is saving sex for marriage, and kudos to him, he's pulling it off. Both he and his girlfriend agreed that they'd wait, so you can understand how learning she was cheating on him with another guy, let alone an ex, was all the more hurtful. I don't understand how he clung to sanity. He's told us there have been times he gave in and wanted to have sex with her, but she was able to stop them (and vice versa). He had to find out he's been making that difficult of commitment while she's been lying to him. Yeah.

So me and our shared friend are talking to him about everything on Saturday. Consoling him, giving him advice, and ultimately telling him to dump the ***** in epic fashion (he never said anything to her after reading them, so she didn't know he knew). Then he gets a message from her to come over, leave us who he hasn't hung out with in ages, and it was such an emergency that if he didn't, he would never be allowed over again. I exclaimed that she just solved the problem for us, but no, he left us to go to her. To appease us, he said he was going to confront her and end it. Oh, and the emergency? Her parents knew she was texting her ex and were threatening to cut her phone off...

So he goes, and me and our friend follow in my car (we were worried about him driving in the state he was in, and we just chilled at McDonalds down the road). So he gets there and tells her he knows about her ex and the messages. She denies it, and says she didn't send any messages like that. So he tells her to go get her phone. She says she forgot the password to unlock it (despite texting and calling him from it not half an hour earlier). Ok, so he tells her to get the iPad. She has forgotten how to unlock it too. So finally, he tells her to log onto facebook using his phone, and she has suddenly forgotten her login info. He gave her one last chance to come clean or he was gone, and she still denied saying anyone could have gotten on her phone or accounts to send those messages. It had to be someone else using her stuff. So he gave her back some gifts, got some back from her, and he walked through the house to the door. Her mom was there and asked if they were ok, and he said they broke up. She asked if there was anything she needed to know that he could tell her, and he said no. Then she asked if it was about the ex, and he just said yes. Then he walked out. Oddly enough, our buddy who was with me got a facebook message from her pleading for him to believe her. She said she was now saving the messages, and if we could convince our friend to come back to talk to her, then she could explain how none of what he saw makes sense. Funny how she remembered her facebook login info after he left, and how she could explain the messages after having time to delete certain ones.

But he was done it seemed. He came back to hangout with us a little longer, and then we called it a night. The next day I text him. No answer. So I text our friend that night, and learn he had gone back to her house the next day...twice. So me and him are planning and talking about what we should do from last night til tonight. I got off work a few hours ago, and texted the shared friend to get an update. He said he asked how things were with them, and the guy finally replied back. It went along the lines of, "Everything is much better. We've been talking, and her explanation is actually starting to make a lot of sense..."

So what I'm asking is, what's the nicest way of telling someone they're a pathetic, spineless coward who needs to be a ******* man and stop dating a sociopath who obviously doesn't give two shits about you aside from the male attention you provide when she's not batting one-for-six with some prick? How do I tell him he has no self-respect for himself, and if he had any character at all, he'd block this psycho and instead pick up the phone to call the ******* people who raised him from childhood. You should be begging them for forgiveness, and instead, you're willingly entertaining the poison words of a toxic woman who has left your balls blue while she was screwing the same dude she dumped your ass for not less than 6 months ago. You're not even getting laid by this ***** and you allow her to dictate your relationships as if they're her own personal property. We have a name for that you little ****. ITS CALLED A GOD DAMNED PET. You're a fool of the highest order, and the fact that you were the fastest sperm confounds me to the degree that I'm fighting the aneurysms just thinking about it.

So yeah. A nice way to say all that would be nice, or else I'm ruining a friendship.

TitanHope · 02-26-2013, 12:35 AM

Sweet sassy molassy that felt good to write down.

Bengals78 · 02-26-2013, 12:48 AM

Say it exactly as you said it.
Anything else won't hit home I'm afraid.

I could always skin him and wear him around and it'd be like he never left.

pierce2walker · 02-26-2013, 12:59 AM

edit: I've thought about this again and I'm sure you and your friends have tried to have plenty of civil discussions with him about this dumb slunt before, so its pretty tough to know what will actually get through to him (thus your problem). I guess say what you said and try to put it into perspective for him.

holt_bruce81 · 02-26-2013, 01:02 AM

Yeah man what you wrote is perfect

brat316 · 02-26-2013, 01:03 AM

tell him what he saw with his own eyes is more the truth, than a story she can spin.

CashmoneyDrew · 02-26-2013, 01:09 AM

TH, you sit your friend down and you tell him there are two easy steps for him to solve this situation in its entirety:

TitanHope · 02-26-2013, 01:30 AM

Its a "One word...and I'll hit you again," situation for me.

Its not like he'd ask me for advice. He knows what I'll say, and I'm pretty sure he knows I don't like her to begin with. She insults his sister whenever she gets the chance, and I've got a bit of a soft spot for his sister. Nothing I'd ever act on for obvious reasons, but he knows I'm sweet on her. So he knows how me listening to his brat of a girlfriend trash the girl makes **** get old real quick on my end. I'll actually be the one who'll say something, and its a shame I have to when her brother is sitting right there. If a girl started being disrespectful to njx or vidae's future wives, I'd walk out the door and out that *****'s life. He'll just sit there and pretend he's not listening.

I also wonder if over time, the abstinence thing has caused a stress tumor that's suppressing the judgement center of his brain. Two years is a long time. Two years with the girl in arms reach is an eternity. Oral is nice, but at some point your psyche has to crack and misconstrue that effort that you put in as something you can't waste. Like a downpayment on sex. Repression is a helluva danger, if you ask me.

I have no idea what story she weaved him, but I can't wait to hear it.

RaiderNation · 02-26-2013, 02:10 AM

Got this feeling this girl I was talking with a year ago has some interest in me again, thing is she's with a guy right now :\. She's works at a bank and I went in there to get some cash and we talked for like 10 mins and the other day I caught her following me while I was at work delivering pizza(best job ever). I'm not going to try and interfere with their relationship since I know how that feels (last relationship ended horribly with my ex cheating on me) but if she ends up single I'll be all over that.

Also there's this half Asian chick on FB that's been seemingly took a like to me, I went to high school with her and I'm just praying we run into each other at a party or something soon.

JoeJoeBrown · 02-26-2013, 07:42 AM

Titanhope, your friend is the worst kind of *****. You need to have an intervention. Sit down with he and your mutual close friends. Tell him what a sociopath is with references. Explain that she is indeed a sociopath. And that he is indeed a pet of hers that will ruin his life. Demand that the relationship ends. Give him all of examples of her being a sociopath and not having his interests remotely in her heart.

Then you walk away from him when he doesn't listen. If he isn't strong enough to stand up for himself, then he isn't worth having as someone close to you, IMO.

eaglesalltheway · 02-26-2013, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeJoeBrown

Titanhope, your friend is the worst kind of *****. You need to have an intervention. Sit down with he and your mutual close friends. Tell him what a sociopath is with references. Explain that she is indeed a sociopath. And that he is indeed a pet of hers that will ruin his life. Demand that the relationship ends. Give him all of examples of her being a sociopath and not having his interests remotely in her heart.

Then you walk away from him when he doesn't listen. If he isn't strong enough to stand up for himself, then he isn't worth having as someone close to you, IMO.

If you can incorporate this, you're last paragraph from the first post, and explain to him how his parents have STILL supported him through all of this (getting a job through his father is a big deal, that's the type of thing that sets you up for life, and he left that behind for a crazy ***** who doesn't value his life in the slightest) you might get the point across. If not, then you might have to consider moving on from that friendship. If he is perfectly ok being stranded on a desert island with a sociopathic whorecunt, abandoning his family and friends, in essence stranding himself, then so be it. Maybe after a little while he'll come around when he realizes all he has is this "woman" who doesn't treat him well, that seems like its the only thing you would be able to hope for, or hope to get him to understand he needs to avoid.

Rosebud · 02-26-2013, 09:39 AM

You could always bone her and send him the pictures so he understands what slunt he's dealing with.

killxswitch · 02-26-2013, 09:44 AM

TH, I don't think there is a nice way to say what you need to say. And if you are blunt and he still clings to this ***** then I'd say he's not worth wasting your time and effort on.

Raiderz4Life · 02-26-2013, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

You could always bone her and send him the pictures so he understands what slunt he's dealing with.

Out of all the advice...someone tell me...why I immediately thought "Oooooh this one! Use this one!!"

zachsaints52 · 02-26-2013, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raiderz4Life

Out of all the advice...someone tell me...why I immediately thought "Oooooh this one! Use this one!!"

Because its totally plausible?

Forenci · 02-26-2013, 11:26 AM

Yeah, TH, in that situation you just need to lay all the cards on the table and if he doesn't listen or care what you have to say you can walk away with a clean consciousness. I know that's not ideal and these situations are never fun because you always want to stick by your friends but it seems like your friend has some clear issues.

I hate relationships like that. I understand it being it being a first love, and so on, but there comes a point where you have to be seriously messed up not to see the situation in front of you. It becomes less about the girl (for all the absolutely horrible things she's done) and more about your friends own issues. He clearly has self-esteem issues and needs to work on himself before he can date.

It's an old adage, but you have to like yourself and be comfortable by yourself into order to love somebody else and be with somebody else.

thefalconer · 02-26-2013, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raiderz4Life

Out of all the advice...someone tell me...why I immediately thought "Oooooh this one! Use this one!!"

and our boy TH gets his junior nice and wet.

eaglesalltheway · 02-26-2013, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thefalconer

and our boy TH gets his junior nice and wet.

This ***** sounds like she's got a rusty ****, I think junior might get tetanus.

georgiafan · 02-26-2013, 12:42 PM

I dont think there is anything you can say that will make sense with him as you will need proof. Also you better hope they dont have sex bc if he is that hooked now it will be 5 times worse if he has sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TitanHope

Its a "One word...and I'll hit you again," situation for me.

Its not like he'd ask me for advice. He knows what I'll say, and I'm pretty sure he knows I don't like her to begin with. She insults his sister whenever she gets the chance, and I've got a bit of a soft spot for his sister. Nothing I'd ever act on for obvious reasons, but he knows I'm sweet on her. So he knows how me listening to his brat of a girlfriend trash the girl makes **** get old real quick on my end. I'll actually be the one who'll say something, and its a shame I have to when her brother is sitting right there. If a girl started being disrespectful to njx or vidae's future wives, I'd walk out the door and out that *****'s life. He'll just sit there and pretend he's not listening.

I also wonder if over time, the abstinence thing has caused a stress tumor that's suppressing the judgement center of his brain. Two years is a long time. Two years with the girl in arms reach is an eternity. Oral is nice, but at some point your psyche has to crack and misconstrue that effort that you put in as something you can't waste. Like a downpayment on sex. Repression is a helluva danger, if you ask me.

I have no idea what story she weaved him, but I can't wait to hear it.

MetSox17 · 02-26-2013, 02:38 PM

georgiafan is correct. She absolutely cannot take his v-card or else he'll never leave the *****. Like the rest of the guys, i agree you need to come on strong and hard. Take JoeJoe's advice, and show the guy that you care about him so much that you'd go through all of that just to try and get him to understand.

JoeJoeBrown · 02-26-2013, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetSox17

georgiafan is correct. She absolutely cannot take his v-card or else he'll never leave the *****. Like the rest of the guys, i agree you need to come on strong and hard. Take JoeJoe's advice, and show the guy that you care about him so much that you'd go through all of that just to try and get him to understand.

Exactly. And if he doesn't respond to all of that, you should also tell him that no one respects him for getting abused like he does and that until he stands up for himself and gets rid of this abusive domineering gf, he will always be viewed as a loser.