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Old 05-24-2013, 05:02 PM    (permalink
brat316
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I can see what the foreigner rosebud is talking about. This country has a high divorce rate, why do knows.
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Old 05-24-2013, 05:03 PM    (permalink
Rob S
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Originally Posted by brat316 View Post
I can see what the foreigner rosebud is talking about. This country has a high divorce rate, why do knows.
Well, he is German and their divorce rate is nearly identical to ours, so he was talking out of his ass. Low divorce rates are generally prevalent in uber-religious/ arranged marriage countries where I generally wouldn't want to live anyway.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:11 PM    (permalink
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Divorce is stupid. divorce is a cop out for people who don't know how to communicate.

When I said we had been talking about marriage it wasn't anything super serious.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:12 PM    (permalink
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Divorce is stupid. divorce is a cop out for people who don't know how to communicate.
This is ridiculous.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:20 PM    (permalink
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Sorry, obviously I understand that divorce absolutely is necessary in emotionally or physically abusive situations.

But other than that I don't see a reason to divorce. That's what marriage counselors and what not are for.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:21 PM    (permalink
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Divorce isn't cop out. Sometimes people rush into marriage and don't know the person they are marrying, or sometimes even if you know that person, people just change. It's just life unfortunately.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:26 PM    (permalink
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People change and sometimes you just don't want to be friends with somebody anymore.
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Old 05-24-2013, 06:33 PM    (permalink
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People change and sometimes you just don't want to be friends with somebody anymore.
I feel like we both got really deep in our 2 posts. Deep thoughts.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:01 PM    (permalink
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Ex gf which I haven't talked to in a year just sent a text asking me to call her. She has texted a couple times over the past year asking to catch up/apologizing for our awful ending. I didn't respond to either of those, and I haven't responded to this.

Assuming she didn't accidentally send me this text, I have no ******* idea what she could have to discuss with me at this point. I'm curious about it but I don't want to actually communicate with her (promised myself I wouldn't).

I realize this is a pointless post and I apologize for that but I just wanted to mention it to someone, somewhere. I do welcome any type of advice/wisdom anyone may have.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:03 PM    (permalink
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why would anyone ever discuss marriage under any circumstances? **** that noise. as far as i'm aware, the tax benefits aren't even remotely meaningful.
Based on a very rough estimate, if my wife didn't work, I save about $4,500 a year in federal taxes. Adding her income, I still pay about $1,000 less while adding $30-35 K in income.

So for me, being married benefits me to the tune of $29 K a year. I wouldn't call that meaningless.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:05 PM    (permalink
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Ex gf which I haven't talked to in a year just sent a text asking me to call her. She has texted a couple times over the past year asking to catch up/apologizing for our awful ending. I didn't respond to either of those, and I haven't responded to this.

Assuming she didn't accidentally send me this text, I have no ******* idea what she could have to discuss with me at this point. I'm curious about it but I don't want to actually communicate with her (promised myself I wouldn't).

I realize this is a pointless post and I apologize for that but I just wanted to mention it to someone, somewhere. I do welcome any type of advice/wisdom anyone may have.
If you are fully confident that you can say no to her, and still respect her as a person (idk how/why it ended), it may be a good thing to do to give her a call. Maybe she can get some closure out of it.

Again, only do this if you are 100% sure you can say no and have fully moved on and still have respect for her.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:06 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by BuckeyeDan17 View Post
Ex gf which I haven't talked to in a year just sent a text asking me to call her. She has texted a couple times over the past year asking to catch up/apologizing for our awful ending. I didn't respond to either of those, and I haven't responded to this.

Assuming she didn't accidentally send me this text, I have no ******* idea what she could have to discuss with me at this point. I'm curious about it but I don't want to actually communicate with her (promised myself I wouldn't).

I realize this is a pointless post and I apologize for that but I just wanted to mention it to someone, somewhere. I do welcome any type of advice/wisdom anyone may have.
The text wasn't an accident. Is she someone you would like to be friends/on stable ground with? If not, then don't bother with her. If so, it can't hurt to talk to her.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:17 PM    (permalink
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Ex gf which I haven't talked to in a year just sent a text asking me to call her. She has texted a couple times over the past year asking to catch up/apologizing for our awful ending. I didn't respond to either of those, and I haven't responded to this.

Assuming she didn't accidentally send me this text, I have no ******* idea what she could have to discuss with me at this point. I'm curious about it but I don't want to actually communicate with her (promised myself I wouldn't).

I realize this is a pointless post and I apologize for that but I just wanted to mention it to someone, somewhere. I do welcome any type of advice/wisdom anyone may have.
Granted, I know nothing about your situation and breakup with your ex, but if things ended really badly and you don't have any reason to really speak to her, then I don't really see the point. I had a similar situation with an ex trying to contact me and it really was just easier for me to ignore her and for us to live separate lives (which is what it seems like you've been doing).

If you are really curious or think there could be a legit reason she needs to speak to you, you could simply text her "what about?". If her answer doesn't seem like something you need then you can either just ignore her there or respond "I don't think that's really necessary".

edit - Rob is right, it also depends on where you stand with her. If you aren't 100% over her, speaking probably isn't the best idea. If you don't give a **** about her anymore, it doesn't really matter and worst case you just laugh at how pathetic she is.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:24 PM    (permalink
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if you were dating but not married, you'd still have two incomes, but less tax liability. this wasn't an anti-relationship rant, just an anti-marriage one.

though i wouldn't take me too seriously. i'm being really antagonistic for some reason.
Well, if you want to count it as two incomes here are the rough numbers, assuming 100K in combined income. $21,460.50 single. $15,494 married. The are deductions, exemptions, and whatnot that will alter these numbers but you are saving $6,000 minimum in federal taxes. Then you can add in some state tax savings too.

For some it makes sense. For others it doesn't. The entire time I was dating (3.5 years), our money was always separate. Even when we were engaged it stayed mostly separate. Never lived together either. But if you are going to live together and basically share the finances, it might makes sense to not get married.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:33 PM    (permalink
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I'm on a little tablet so typing on it is annoying.

Thanks a lot guys I really appreciate it. Rob, I don't think I'm over her even though it's been quite a while since we split; frankly, I'm not sure I ever will be. So you and pierce are right, it's probably not a good idea to talk.

And no prince, I don't think a genuine friendship or common ground is possible.

Further, njx's point is undeniable. If she really needs to talk to me, she'd call and leave a voicemail or something or shoot another text.

I'm just not going to answer, and delete. I will say I'm surprised my number's still in her phone.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:37 PM    (permalink
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Check the rep comment Dan.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:54 PM    (permalink
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Sorry, obviously I understand that divorce absolutely is necessary in emotionally or physically abusive situations.

But other than that I don't see a reason to divorce. That's what marriage counselors and what not are for.
This may be the single dumbest thing I've yet read in this thread. I've seen a lot of marriages that where just dumb from the get go because the two people should never have married each other. Neither was really abusive, but it was a terrible situation keeping either one from being happy. Staying together and raising a child in that toxic environment would've literally been the worst way that situation could've gone.
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Old 05-25-2013, 10:03 AM    (permalink
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Last night had a female friend basically set me up with her friend from Boston that was visiting. First time that's happened for me, and I know we talked about it a few pages back.

Worked out pretty well. I even got a "good job" text from the friend that set us up
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Old 05-26-2013, 01:17 PM    (permalink
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The worst: Being with someone and knowing they are the right one and they feel it too, but breaking up because it's the best thing for us to do.

That just happened with me and my gf. We both don't want it, but we both need to mature and get our stuff situated before we get back together, which I'm certain will happen.
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Old 05-28-2013, 01:25 PM    (permalink
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That level of trust takes a lot of time and the right people to build. I happen to be the only serious relationship my wife has ever had. Previously, she would subconsciously seek out men who weren't what she wanted. The net result would be a run of guys she would date for a few months, then who would either drop her or she would drop them.

I happened to come along when her dad got really sick, and I made things really easy when she needed them to be. We just happened to click really well, and I was there when her life fell apart. I don't know how it was so easy. It just was. We clicked. I hung back and let her dictate things based on her availability. Pretty quickly, we fell in love. She is an awesome chick and has a great sense of humor.

Point here is that we happened to click, and she allowed herself to be with me, despite her commitment and vulnerability issues. She had the courage to put herself out there in the midst of a personal crisis and an uncomfortable situation (liking someone and committing). The key to our relationship is very honest and open communication. We don't do passive aggressive. We are direct and don't let things simmer.

That is how we do it. Things are not perfect, but we work on our relationship every day
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Old 05-28-2013, 01:32 PM    (permalink
Rosebud
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I really wish that sometimes I could just read my friend's minds. Cause I was visiting my friend who almost cheated with me the last time she visited, and she introduced me to a friend of hers that I clicked with pretty well, but whom I felt like she was trying to push on me. While I liked said friend I couldn't help feeling like it was a trap, cause we met this friend the night after I wingmanned her room-mate so successful that the friend of the girl he was hitting on, who hates him, was too busy playing footsies and hands-in-pants with me under the table to remember about him hitting on her friend. So I really wish I could know if this was some sort of test that flirting with your friend caused me to fail, or whether we ended up talking about threesomes the previous night because her plan was to get with me and this friend.
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Old 05-28-2013, 01:35 PM    (permalink
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Yes, women seem to believe that men are mind readers and that we should know things. Men are also less intuitive and perceptive to certain signals. End of the day, I'm a big believer in "don't s**t where you eat".
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Old 05-28-2013, 01:40 PM    (permalink
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Those tests/games and having to figure out if you are in one suck.

That's one of my favorite things about my girlfriend. No ********, and the couple times I've wondered if she was testing me she called me out for being an idiot. It's nice.
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Old 05-28-2013, 01:43 PM    (permalink
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My wife calls me on BS, and I call her, as well. In general, we come in open and honest. We talk. This has actually happened naturally, but we have worked to keep ourselves in this state.
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Old 05-28-2013, 02:06 PM    (permalink
Rosebud
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That's what makes this so annoying, this girl is one of my closest friends, we've always been remarkably open and talk about things that I have a hard time talking about with even my best friend, and I've known that girl for years, but I got the feeling she was shooting me dirty looks at the bar while I was wingmanning, and I've never really felt that type of BS from her before.
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JPP is a better and more productive player than Brandon Graham
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Quote:
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Most misleading 10+ sack season EVER.
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