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Old 07-21-2013, 05:45 PM    (permalink
SunTzu_22
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Originally Posted by 49erNation85 View Post
Yea the Yosemite seems almost perfect though. It is gonna be hard to turn it down. I just don't know how telling the gf I wanna do that instead of the Navy life because that is all she talks about.

I wouldn't know how to go about telling i want a different life style and that this is where I wanna besides from just putting it out there.
Its easy for her to talk about it, its not her decision to make. I can only speak from my own experience, but when you make big sacrifices in a relationsship (like giving up a great opportunity like this), it will eventually come back and become a big issue. If it was me, I would take that job and not think twice about it. Seems like its "more than a job", and you will get the chance to do something that makes you happy every single day. Most people can only dream of getting a chance like that.
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:20 PM    (permalink
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It will just be hard to actually break up I guess. Guess I would just go the truth route. How would u guys go about it?
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:27 PM    (permalink
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Tell her that you're taking the job you love and have a passion for, and you would love nothing more than to have her support during that time. But the relationship isn't gonna dictate where you go and where you work, so she can be either in or out, the ball is in her court.
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:40 PM    (permalink
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MetSox ,
that sounds reasonable and that would be the truth about working in a National park at least for me. Yea the pay might suck at first or for a few years but I think in the end I wanna do it full time / year around. It really is a nice deal if I think about it etc.
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:09 AM    (permalink
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Ok so I got a questions for you guys with more experince in break ups / moving on from current girl friends.

I got offered a fun job / change of pace life on Friday about working down in Yosemite National Park for a while and possible long term commitment. It is different then city life jobs your work is customer service and providing it people who visit the parks in a gift , food service or hotel etc.

My issue do I take this job and break up with a gal who I've been dating almost 2 years now since 2010 ish. We've had our ups and down threw the months. If i was to go foward I just don't know what I would do.

My other option is from her standpoint is enlisting into the US Navy which I'm almost there ( 14 pounds or 3% body fat and I'm in) I'm just not sure that life is for me even though I have thought about doing but in my late 20's I'm not to sure. I wanna be out enjoying life and in the great out doors. This job offer can let me do that year around, stable income , my own place sort of and benefits after a year. The lady wants me to join for all descent reason of the Military, good pay, full benefits and college fun after service.

I've tried to tell her that I wasn't sure if that life is for me and she flipped basically the last time I told so it would be a bad break up.

It is just a tough choice to make going forward with this job opportunity to live in a great National park... Any offer up advice for me?
You are still pretty young, but it comes down to a choice. To me, the Navy and the National Park opportunities are the same thing, and you appear passionate about both. Your girlfriend appears passionate about building a life with you in your current location. One question: are you trying to take these new jobs to run away from something in your current life? Is this just a convenient excuse to break up with your girl?

The way I see it, you have a right to do what you want with your life. However, you clearly have consequences to the decisions you make. Those consequences can be positive or negative. My instinct here is that your gf is interested in a life with you, but I am very concerned with her reaction to your prospective decisions.

It seems to me that you are interested in leaving your current area. That likely means you are ending things with your current lady because she doesn't want to wait for you in the Navy or move with you to a Park. That is her right. The way you tell the story, it seems like she is being a bit controlling AND that you don't want her to be. We don't know a lot about your situation, so I could be wrong.

End of the day, if you want to go away on one of these paths, it doesn't include her. If you are going to go in this direction, stand firm and see how she reacts. Understand that you have to make this decision and deal with what shakes out. That might involve a breakup.
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:15 AM    (permalink
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my girl and I ended it today and towards the end she just got straight up nasty. Says she wished she friend zoned me when we first met and that our relationship was "terrible". Uhm. She never showed any signs of unhappiness the last few months and I'm just kinda surprised. I mean, bummed, but I guess not super upset, which could be a telling sign. It was just cool having a gf, now back to that single life
Women are very subtle in their communication, while men are very direct. Often times, she might have expressed dissatisfaction, but you didn't recognize it because she didn't state it in terms that you could understand. That is not anyone's fault per se, but that is my theory.

Now, that is no excuse for her to be mean and horrible to you when things ended. That is not fair or right. That says to me that her breaking up with you is a blessing for you. You will come to see that in time.

Take the next few weeks to re-learn how to be alone. Reflect on the things that you could have done better and the things that you learned from this relationship. Go into the next opportunity armed with what you want and need from a partner and communicate these items to your next lady.
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:16 AM    (permalink
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MetSox ,
that sounds reasonable and that would be the truth about working in a National park at least for me. Yea the pay might suck at first or for a few years but I think in the end I wanna do it full time / year around. It really is a nice deal if I think about it etc.
Sounds like you are passionate about doing the Park gig. Go with it and make the decision. Don't go half way. She will either come on board and support, or she won't. You can't control that. All you can do is throw things out there and control your reaction. That is the key.
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Old 07-26-2013, 07:53 AM    (permalink
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I'll have an interesting update later on my weekend.
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:47 AM    (permalink
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Not later. Now...

Unless you are already dead and posting from beyond the grave
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:52 AM    (permalink
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Not later. Now...

Unless you are already dead and posting from beyond the grave
What I'm going to update you on hasn't happened yet. Even more interesting stuff could still happen!
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:56 AM    (permalink
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Excellent. That is more like it!
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:41 AM    (permalink
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I'm so excited for this weekend. I need it and deserve it!
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:48 AM    (permalink
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Care to tease us with the possibilities?
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:57 AM    (permalink
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Met a chick. Hotel room. Hot tub.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:11 AM    (permalink
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Met a chick. Hotel room. Hot tub.
TIME MACHINE?!
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:21 AM    (permalink
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Met a chick. Hotel room. Hot tub.
Are you 21? This sounds like the dream of a college kid.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:22 AM    (permalink
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TIME MACHINE?!
Some people just can't wait for the official update goddamnit
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:25 AM    (permalink
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Bert for some reason I thought you were married.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:29 AM    (permalink
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Bert for some reason I thought you were married.
Divorce bro. I am getting one.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:37 AM    (permalink
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Divorce bro. I am getting one.
Bummer. Sorry.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:45 AM    (permalink
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Bummer. Sorry.
We have no kids so it'll be easy. And be happy I'm getting one I am!
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:51 AM    (permalink
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Well, enjoy the strange.
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Old 07-27-2013, 03:29 PM    (permalink
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Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bert Macklin is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Plans were to go to the hotel, get food and go see a movie. Never left the hotel.
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:37 AM    (permalink
bsaza2358
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bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Strong, but what advice could we possibly give you on that... other than do it again???
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:48 AM    (permalink
georgiafan
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georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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A girl I use to date (not officially but we went out like 10 times) and then to make a long story short is just your basic story of she did be wrong and now she wants a second chance. I've been able to hold up pretty strong and not give in so far because I don't trust her.
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