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Old 04-09-2014, 03:31 PM    (permalink
NotRickJames
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Originally Posted by Jensen View Post
there are plenty of those girls without the baggage.
I suspect Bama has a problem a lot of us have faced.


Look Bama I could be totally wrong on this - but I'm guessing underlying this is a fear you won't be able to find a girl as good as she is. She has issues, but she has positive qualities too...... Well, dump that fear immediately. Be confident in yourself to pull a better woman. And there are certainly better women. She sounds quite clingy and the whole waving thing is just totally absurd. Godspeed sir.
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Old 04-09-2014, 05:56 PM    (permalink
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I will break it off soon enough. It is tough for me but I know it has to happen.

Getting another girl isn't a problem. I doubt I would get into another relationship anytime soon though.
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Old 04-09-2014, 11:01 PM    (permalink
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Anybody ever been afraid to end a relationship because they think the other person would have a mental breakdown?

This girl is crazy af... every other second she is crying about something. Right now it is that one of my best friends might move down for the summer to work.

Literally the main thing keeping us together is that i care about her and think she would have a breakdown if i ended it
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Old 04-09-2014, 11:08 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by BamaFalcon59 View Post
Anybody ever been afraid to end a relationship because they think the other person would have a mental breakdown?

This girl is crazy af... every other second she is crying about something. Right now it is that one of my best friends might move down for the summer to work.

Literally the main thing keeping us together is that i care about her and think she would have a breakdown if i ended it
It's not your problem, dude. If you're not fully into the relationship it'll be better for her in the end if you just break it off, even if she has a breakdown at first. Maybe she'll get the help she needs.

But like I said, either way it's not your problem if she theoretically were to have that issue.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:15 AM    (permalink
NotRickJames
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Sounds like she could use some mental health assistance. Is she already in therapy?
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:59 AM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by BamaFalcon59 View Post
Anybody ever been afraid to end a relationship because they think the other person would have a mental breakdown?

This girl is crazy af... every other second she is crying about something. Right now it is that one of my best friends might move down for the summer to work.

Literally the main thing keeping us together is that i care about her and think she would have a breakdown if i ended it
I had a pretty crazy girlfriend in high school. Break up and whatever she does after that is not your problem. I ended up just cutting off all contact and it made things a lot easier.
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:04 AM    (permalink
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Idk, it certainly isn't as easy as just saying cut it off. I've been in that situation before and no matter how much you talk yourself into just ending it, it doesn't work out like that. At least not when you really care about the person. Unfortunately I don't have the answer you're looking for Bama, but I can definitely relate. In my situation, it just dragged on and on until slowly she realized it was done as much as I knew it was. I cared too much for her to just bail on her, even if it was unnecessary. I sacrificed some time out of my life to know that she wasn't gonna be completely miserable and that peace of mind is worth more than the extra time I would have had from breaking it off immediately.
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:03 AM    (permalink
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Sounds like she could use some mental health assistance. Is she already in therapy?
No but she says she feels like she needs a psychiatrist because she cant talk to her parents or anybody about our relationship. That and paying for school and other stress i guess. Like she hates birth control because she had never been on it before me and that stresses her too.

Pretty much on the same page as metsox. I think she will realize it soon as well because she has thought there was no hope before but we decided to try and work things out. My buddy is definitely moving down for the summer and she has implied a ton that we wont work out if that happens. She is just trying to guilt me into telling him to not come but still.


Thanks for the advice everybody. Definitely something new for me as i haven't been the dating type in the past, no official relationships, and this is all new to me.
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:27 PM    (permalink
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So I think we are over after telling her that I am going to have a roommate this summer. I told her that hew being okay with it would show me she could change and be less controlling, etc. A lot of crying, she accused me of having used her for the past five months, insinuated that she would do something bad to herself, said she was going to transfer. Etc. I didn't even break up with her. Just said I was going to have a roomie. She said she would be worried every night and that he would be bringing girls over and that we would be drinking and doing drugs.

Crazy %%%%.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:50 PM    (permalink
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After five months that's definitely a little much. I would slowly but surely make my escape right around now.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:58 PM    (permalink
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Yeah, that is the move. Still sucks in a lot of ways but I can't get in any deeper than I already am.
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:00 PM    (permalink
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Just had sex :-((( now she is crying saying she has been used. I am an idiot.
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:03 PM    (permalink
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Rookie mistake Bama
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:09 PM    (permalink
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Yeah i dont ever date... this is the reason
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:32 PM    (permalink
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Just had sex :-((( now she is crying saying she has been used. I am an idiot.
Its tough but you gotta cut your ties and move on and you need to stop having sex with her as she will prob use that to keep you around. Its amazing how clearer things become when you take sex off the table.
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Old 04-11-2014, 04:12 PM    (permalink
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Yeah we did it again... Definitely has a hold over me in that regard. Not worried though, im in control as far as the relationship right now as she is basically begging for us to try and work it out
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Old 04-11-2014, 04:28 PM    (permalink
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You gon get stabbed.
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Old 04-11-2014, 04:30 PM    (permalink
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Haha yeah i know...
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:15 PM    (permalink
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Imma pray for you Bama.
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Old 04-11-2014, 10:06 PM    (permalink
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Its tough but you gotta cut your ties and move on and you need to stop having sex with her as she will prob use that to keep you around. Its amazing how clearer things become when you take sex off the table.
thats easier said than done.
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Old 04-12-2014, 02:35 AM    (permalink
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I don't know her, but this is just screaming "borderline personality disorder!!!!"

She definitely needs to undergo a thorough psychiatric evaluation and work from there. Girl has some serious issues she needs to address. If you're not gonna just dump her, try to convince her to make an appointment with a reputable psychiatrist. It won't be an easy talk..... actually I guarantee **** will hit the fan but it's a necessary talk nonetheless.
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Old 04-14-2014, 09:31 PM    (permalink
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So, update from the last page...I asked that girl out for coffee. Her response- "I work in this area, are you ever here"? My response- "I'm not, but I can be after work" (i work near a subway station so its a relatively quick hop)

That was 6 hours ago...no response. She normally sends a response about 30-40 mins after an email.

I'm pretty sure i was just rejected. Which isn't the end of the world (although it stings tonight). I just wish she would say no, instead of just ignoring me....sigh.
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Old 04-14-2014, 09:39 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by 49ersfan_87 View Post
So, update from the last page...I asked that girl out for coffee. Her response- "I work in this area, are you ever here"? My response- "I'm not, but I can be after work" (i work near a subway station so its a relatively quick hop)

That was 6 hours ago...no response. She normally sends a response about 30-40 mins after an email.

I'm pretty sure i was just rejected. Which isn't the end of the world (although it stings tonight). I just wish she would say no, instead of just ignoring me....sigh.
In my experience most girls won't say "no" flat out. They prefer to let guys "down easy." Sorry man, but it's pretty clear it's a no go with this chick.

Especially in this day and age of texting it's easy for a girl to just totally ignore you. Ask her to her face and she's forced to respond (and actually say no or say they're busy that day).
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Old 04-14-2014, 09:46 PM    (permalink
BamaFalcon59
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thats easier said than done.
Love how you made an account for this post
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Old 04-15-2014, 09:39 AM    (permalink
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Idk, it certainly isn't as easy as just saying cut it off. I've been in that situation before and no matter how much you talk yourself into just ending it, it doesn't work out like that. At least not when you really care about the person. Unfortunately I don't have the answer you're looking for Bama, but I can definitely relate. In my situation, it just dragged on and on until slowly she realized it was done as much as I knew it was. I cared too much for her to just bail on her, even if it was unnecessary. I sacrificed some time out of my life to know that she wasn't gonna be completely miserable and that peace of mind is worth more than the extra time I would have had from breaking it off immediately.
This isn't standard dating advice, and I don't know if it's particularly good advice, but it's what I would do in that situation.
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