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Old 11-05-2007, 05:03 PM    (permalink
duckseason
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I'm definitely with Moses and 447 on this one. I go to great lengths to avoid violence of any kind, but when somebody crosses the line and lays hands on you, you have no choice but to defend yourself. It's a weak person that just curls up into a ball and cries for help. You do what you can to avoid any altercation in the first place, but you can't control other people. There's nothing wrong with defending yourself.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:04 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by awfullyquiet View Post
i've worked 109 hours in the last two weeks, i've worked saturday, sunday, i missed my flight home on friday, so i kept working. and working. because god damnit, i have nothing else to do.

when you get old, you get stupid, i've determined, five years ago, i woulda taken the opportunity to get drunk all weekend, now, i just work.
you work so you dont have to come back to an abusive boyfriend, i get it, you dont need to lie to me.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:05 PM    (permalink
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what's the point?
really. does it really matter if you hit him back or not? little chance he's going to sit there and pummel you if there's other people around watching it happen, because those people would probably pull him off you. so you walk around with a shiner, a bruised jaw, maybe a few cuts... big deal.
Yeah, big deal. Let's all just let people do what they will and we can just float through life like a lost butterfly and hope we land on a cloud of cotton candy.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:06 PM    (permalink
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This is not meant at a jab at you, but you are a girl aren't you? How many fights have you been in? If you let people stomp all over you it will happen over and over again. Eventually you need to stand up for yourself.
I am. The answer is two. One was with an ex. He kinda whooped my ass.

if you don't surround yourself with dumb ******* thugs, i don't think it'll happen over and over and over again... i think people get to a certain age where fighting just becomes stupid and inane. i think that age should constantly keep dropping, because it's stupid and pointless.

what does one gain by punching someone in the face?

not much. really. sure you may say it's self defense. but in situations where it's NOT life threatening, where you're not fighting for your life, i.e. a robbery, rape, whathaveyou, does it really matter?

would it be different if sweetness fought back with a can of pepper spray? (i mean, that's what i'd do, or swing my u-lock at his jaw) or does it have to be a manly 'brawl'?

y'all have really ****** up notions of honor.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:06 PM    (permalink
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Yeah, big deal. Let's all just let people do what they will and we can just float through life like a lost butterfly and hope we land on a cloud of cotton candy.
LOL. Probably one of my favourite posts on this forum.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:07 PM    (permalink
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I am. The answer is two. One was with an ex. He kinda whooped my ass.

if you don't surround yourself with dumb ******* thugs, i don't think it'll happen over and over and over again... i think people get to a certain age where fighting just becomes stupid and inane. i think that age should constantly keep dropping, because it's stupid and pointless.

what does one gain by punching someone in the face?

not much. really. sure you may say it's self defense. but in situations where it's NOT life threatening, where you're not fighting for your life, i.e. a robbery, rape, whathaveyou, does it really matter?

would it be different if sweetness fought back with a can of pepper spray? (i mean, that's what i'd do, or swing my u-lock at his jaw) or does it have to be a manly 'brawl'?

y'all have really ****** up notions of honor.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:09 PM    (permalink
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Where the **** do you people get in fights at? Honestly.

When I think of adults fighting I think of Jerry Springer and Nascar races. I don't know a single adult with even an iota of intelligence that has been in an actual fight post 21-22 years old.

Where is god's name is there an adult bully? I stoped caring about this **** about 15 years ago.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:12 PM    (permalink
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Where the **** do you people get in fights at? Honestly.

When I think of adults fighting I think of Jerry Springer and Nascar races. I don't know a single adult with even an iota of intelligence that has been in an actual fight post 21-22 years old.

Where is god's name is there an adult bully? I stoped caring about this **** about 15 years ago.
I haven't had to fight in years. But if I were to walk down to the store right now and some dude came out of nowhere and hit me in the face, I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself. Not to be a badass or prove my manliness, but just because I care about myself and will never let anybody damage me in any way so long as I can do something to prevent it.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:12 PM    (permalink
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I am. The answer is two. One was with an ex. He kinda whooped my ass.

if you don't surround yourself with dumb ******* thugs, i don't think it'll happen over and over and over again... i think people get to a certain age where fighting just becomes stupid and inane. i think that age should constantly keep dropping, because it's stupid and pointless.

what does one gain by punching someone in the face?

not much. really. sure you may say it's self defense. but in situations where it's NOT life threatening, where you're not fighting for your life, i.e. a robbery, rape, whathaveyou, does it really matter?

would it be different if sweetness fought back with a can of pepper spray? (i mean, that's what i'd do, or swing my u-lock at his jaw) or does it have to be a manly 'brawl'?

y'all have really ****** up notions of honor.
See, as a women you are somewhat protected by society. If somebody attacks me, the only people protecting me are myself and MAYBE my friends (but what if it's another friend that is attacking, like in this case).

Let me know when you take a beating in front of a group of people and do nothing but turtle. You will be picked on FOREVER. I used to do this when I was younger. I wouldn't want to cause problems so I would take whatever was thrown at me. Guess what? It gets worse and worse, until eventually you can't take it anymore.

Fight back with pepper spray? Just pop the guy in the jaw and bring him to the ground. Hold him down and tell him never to touch you again. Simple as that. If he swings at you again you stand your ground and do your best to disable him. I promise you he will think twice about messing with you again.

It has nothing to do with honour, toughness, or anything like that. It's about standing up for yourself and not being pushed around. If you have ANY self-respect, you don't accept people physically assaulting you, period.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:14 PM    (permalink
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Where the **** do you people get in fights at? Honestly.

When I think of adults fighting I think of Jerry Springer and Nascar races. I don't know a single adult with even an iota of intelligence that has been in an actual fight post 21-22 years old.

Where is god's name is there an adult bully? I stoped caring about this **** about 15 years ago.
sweetness is in college. Lots of fights happen there.

Sure, most adults don't get into altercations. But most adults also don't hit each other. I'm not saying he should start fights. I'm saying that if somebody attacks you, defend yourself. As an adult, obviously this is a rare situation.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:16 PM    (permalink
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But if I were to walk down to the store right now and some dude came out of nowhere and hit me in the face, I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself.
Hahaha....when the **** would this EVER happen? Do some of you live in an episode of Walker Texas Ranger??
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:17 PM    (permalink
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Hahaha....when the **** would this EVER happen? Do some of you live in an episode of Walker Texas Ranger??
It DID happen to sweetness. That's what we're talking about...
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:19 PM    (permalink
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Where the **** do you people get in fights at? Honestly.

When I think of adults fighting I think of Jerry Springer and Nascar races. I don't know a single adult with even an iota of intelligence that has been in an actual fight post 21-22 years old.

Where is god's name is there an adult bully? I stoped caring about this **** about 15 years ago.
agreed.

holy ****. i'm agreeing with BF on something.

noted.

i mean, after you turn 23, get out of college, stop hitting the bars every night, it all disappears, i know BF is in grad school. he knows. i'm 27. i know. it's all pointless **** that coulda been gotten rid of years ago, it's good for the movies, not really that effective in society. (see fight club...) but i'm sure some of you lackies will continue to hit the same bar every night, try to pick up the same girls every week till your 30, get in fights every few months, and lead rather mundane pathetic lives.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:20 PM    (permalink
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agreed.

holy ****. i'm agreeing with BF on something.

noted.

i mean, after you turn 23, get out of college, stop hitting the bars every night, it all disappears, i know BF is in grad school. he knows. i'm 27. i know. it's all pointless **** that coulda been gotten rid of years ago, it's good for the movies, not really that effective in society. (see fight club...) but i'm sure some of you lackies will continue to hit the same bar every night, try to pick up the same girls every week till your 30, get in fights every few months, and lead rather mundane pathetic lives.
Yup, because that's what we've been saying...
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:24 PM    (permalink
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Hahaha....when the **** would this EVER happen? Do some of you live in an episode of Walker Texas Ranger??
I wish I did.

But you're right, that has never happened to me and probably never will. But I have been in a position where I've had to defend myself before. Had I just backed down and took it, I would have effectively invited others to exploit that weakness as well. Fighting back decreases the likelihood of future altercations and protects you both physically and emotionally. It will always be necessary for me to look out for myself and the people I care about. Those who don't seem lifeless to me.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:25 PM    (permalink
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See, as a women you are somewhat protected by society. If somebody attacks me, the only people protecting me are myself and MAYBE my friends (but what if it's another friend that is attacking, like in this case).

Let me know when you take a beating in front of a group of people and do nothing but turtle. You will be picked on FOREVER. I used to do this when I was younger. I wouldn't want to cause problems so I would take whatever was thrown at me. Guess what? It gets worse and worse, until eventually you can't take it anymore.

Fight back with pepper spray? Just pop the guy in the jaw and bring him to the ground. Hold him down and tell him never to touch you again. Simple as that. If he swings at you again you stand your ground and do your best to disable him. I promise you he will think twice about messing with you again.

It has nothing to do with honour, toughness, or anything like that. It's about standing up for yourself and not being pushed around. If you have ANY self-respect, you don't accept people physically assaulting you, period.
Picked on? I was this little asian girl in a 94% white school (6% hispanic). I was actually the only asian in grade school, got picked on because i was different and had slanty eyes... even back then, i was like, god, this is stupid and just hung out on top of the jungle gym. later, years later, this dumb ***** in catholic high school pinned me down for some ******** reason (it was maybe 11 years ago?), and was punching my face in (good thing i have a really soft nose haha), as all the dumb broads around me sat and watched i grabbed a shoe and broke her nose with it. that ended that. suspended for 5 days. awesome. my eyes were swollen shut, and my mouth all bloody, it hurt, but when reason fails, when the common sense of those around you fails, then you should kick some ass.

and no, i carry pepper spray for shits and giggles, if i was really going to have to hurt someone, i would use my u-lock.



a little u-lock justice. you should see what i have done to cars with those.

how does one know that if you don't fight back others will take advantage of you though? i think that's a pretty ridiculous assumption that people will go around saying, 'oooh, to get your way with him, all you have to do is beat him up'.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:28 PM    (permalink
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Well I assure you that I'm full of life.

I really think both sides are missing some key points.

1) I don't believe in the notion that fighting solves nothing. Sometimes fighting solves everything.

2) It's all situational. To assume that "standing up for yourself" decreases the likelyhood of future physical altercations is just as flawed as assuming that walking away does. There's no emperical data for this, and it takes an understanding of the situation and people involved to determine the right course of action. I HIGHLY doubt that there are people beyond high school that actually look for people to physically bully based on their likelyhood of fighting back. This is pre-pubescent behavior.

3) Sweetness did EXACTLY the right thing in this situation. If any of you would have actually read the follow-up, the guy was drunk, they talked it out, no further physical involvement. Now, I would probably recomend not being this guys friend anymore, but it's not as if he's going to seek sweetness out and hit him again, so what exactly would have been the point of hitting him back other than to assert some antiquated notion of "manliness"?
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:31 PM    (permalink
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Where the **** do you people get in fights at? Honestly.

When I think of adults fighting I think of Jerry Springer and Nascar races. I don't know a single adult with even an iota of intelligence that has been in an actual fight post 21-22 years old.

Where is god's name is there an adult bully? I stoped caring about this **** about 15 years ago.
First, I am 21, in college, so the fights I am involved in are at bars or parties. I have only been in one fight in recent memory(not counting altercations with friends, because those aren't really fights.) The only real fight I have been in that I can remember was coming home from Mexico. He started calling me a racist and cussing me out on the bridge. I tried to calm him down, hell I even apologized even though I had no idea what he was talking about. Then after we got back to America, he ran up to me and pushed me. My buddy popped him in the jaw, then all hell broke loose.

I stop a hell of a lot more fights then I get in. Hell, I stopped two of them on Saturday. But if someone hits me, or a friend I am defending myself/my friend(unless he was a dumbass and deserved it, and only if it isn't one on one.) I have NEVER thrown the first punch, or even pushed first. It takes a lot for me to lose my cool, even when I have been drinking. But I will NOT tolerate someone laying there hands on me. As soon as that happens, he is going to pay. It isn't to prove how manly I am. I respect myself enough to not let someone hit me. That is all it is. Nothing more, nothing less.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:34 PM    (permalink
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I start fights all the time just to stay in shape. People are dumb and need to be put in their place.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:36 PM    (permalink
someone447
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Originally Posted by bearsfan_51 View Post
Well I assure you that I'm full of life.

I really think both sides are missing some key points.

1) I don't believe in the notion that fighting solves nothing. Sometimes fighting solves everything.

2) It's all situational. To assume that "standing up for yourself" decreases the likelyhood of future physical altercations is just as flawed as assuming that walking away does. There's no emperical data for this, and it takes an understanding of the situation and people involved to determine the right course of action. I HIGHLY doubt that there are people beyond high school that actually look for people to physically bully based on their likelyhood of fighting back. This is pre-pubescent behavior.

3) Sweetness did EXACTLY the right thing in this situation. If any of you would have actually read the follow-up, the guy was drunk, they talked it out, no further physical involvement. Now, I would probably recomend not being this guys friend anymore, but it's not as if he's going to seek sweetness out and hit him again, so what exactly would have been the point of hitting him back other than to assert some antiquated notion of "manliness"?
It isn't even about only physical bullying. When someone attacks you, whether it is verbal or physical, you defend yourself. If you don't, or if you react too strongly, people will continue to push you around. If someone attacks you verbally, you react verbally. If someone attacks you physically, you react physically.

Of course the guy was drunk, but one swing by sweetness stops this guy from pulling this **** again. If it got that pissed off because sweetness accidentally saw his girlfriend naked, he will get pissed off at him again for some stupid ****. A single punch ends that cycle.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:37 PM    (permalink
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Ahhh... okay, okay, okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. ****, I lost it.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:42 PM    (permalink
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agreed.

holy ****. i'm agreeing with BF on something.

noted.

i mean, after you turn 23, get out of college, stop hitting the bars every night, it all disappears, i know BF is in grad school. he knows. i'm 27. i know. it's all pointless **** that coulda been gotten rid of years ago, it's good for the movies, not really that effective in society. (see fight club...) but i'm sure some of you lackies will continue to hit the same bar every night, try to pick up the same girls every week till your 30, get in fights every few months, and lead rather mundane pathetic lives.
Coming from the person who talks about how she goes to the bar all the time. It's been a very rare occurrence for me to find myself in a bar. Never been the type to waste money or drink stale beer that arrived in my (maybe clean, maybe not) glass by way of what are most likely gunk-filled tap lines. The beer in question was also likely served at an improper temperature and whoever poured it probably didn't take much care to pour it correctly, or even in the correct glassware in the first place. But this discussion isn't about all that.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:43 PM    (permalink
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Coming from the person who talks about how she goes to the bar all the time. It's been a very rare occurrence for me to find myself in a bar. Never been the type to waste money or drink stale beer that arrived in my (maybe clean, maybe not) glass by way of what are most likely gunk-filled tap lines. The beer in question was also likely served at an improper temperature and whoever poured it probably didn't take much care to pour it correctly, or even in the correct glassware in the first place. But this discussion isn't about all that.
Nomination for emo post of the day.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:47 PM    (permalink
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Nomination for emo post of the day.
Excuse you? Maybe I'm missing something here, but what exactly made you think "emo" as you read that post?
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:48 PM    (permalink
bearsfan_51
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Yeah honestly some of you live in a world I've never even heard of. I'd love to hear some actual quantifiable data for this, other than to buying into the antiquated notion of "being a man".

I went to college, hell I was in a ******* fraternity. I went to bars and got drunk all the time. I've never had anyone try to fight me. Ever. I don't think it's purely coincidental that you are repeatedly getting in fights.
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