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Old 12-20-2013, 03:25 PM    (permalink
josh07039
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As a stupid kid I loved everything M Night did. Then I skipped work to see the Happening. Worst movie I have ever seen... I actually had to watch another movie to make the day worth it... Luckily the Hulk which released the same week and wasn't terrible.
I have never seen one of his movies and for years people would make fun of me for not, at least seeing the sixth sense. Now no one gives a **** because he really really sucks.
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Old 12-20-2013, 03:29 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
Signs was AWFUL. If you think even semi-critically about the plot for 10 seconds there is no way you can be ok with it.



For some reason I was just thinking about that the other day. I don't remember what you said that irritated me but it turned out funny I think.

Did you ever see The Happening? It was all hyped as being the first ever R-rated M. Night Schlongydong movie. I actually, embarrassingly saw it in theaters with friends.
I made a tongue in cheek comment about Peyton to like abaddon or something one day and you thought I was serious at first or something.

The acting in the happening is probably some of the worst I have ever seen. Ever.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:00 PM    (permalink
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Still no mention of The Village? MASTERPIECE of ****
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:05 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by bigbluedefense View Post
It was a weak winter for movies. Hopefully the summer brings in some better movies.

I still have to see the Hobbit movie though.
No it wasn't.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:13 PM    (permalink
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I'm pretty sure they show Guantanamo detainees The Happening.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:15 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by bigbluedefense View Post
Gravity was a solid movie. If you went into it expecting an action movie you'll obviously be disappointed but I thought it was pretty good.

Not amazing but I was entertained. That's all you ask for.
Not amazing? You uncultured swine, you're lucky I'm a completionist or I'd drop this video project immediately.
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:17 PM    (permalink
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Also, The Happening is the only wide-release movie of the 00s that can give Battlefield Earth a run for it's money as the worst of the decade. It is truly atrocious on every level of filmmaking.
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:18 PM    (permalink
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Also, The Happening is the only wide-release movie of the 00s that can give Battlefield Earth a run for it's money as the worst of the decade. It is truly atrocious on every level of filmmaking.



Last edited by Crickett : 12-20-2013 at 04:25 PM. Reason: Replaced the image with another. Surprised it's a dead image link, I took the pic from imdb.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:19 PM    (permalink
The Alex
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Dead image link. What's it supposed to be?
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 12-20-2013, 04:37 PM    (permalink
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Also, The Happening is the only wide-release movie of the 00s that can give Battlefield Earth a run for it's money as the worst of the decade. It is truly atrocious on every level of filmmaking.
I think Battlefield Earth is the worst, but...

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Old 12-20-2013, 05:17 PM    (permalink
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Oh yeah, all of the Friedberg and Seltzer abortions are terrible but I'm not really sure they count as movies. I'm talking stuff with an actual (despite how dumb it might be) plot, not spoofs.

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I think Battlefield Earth is the worst, but...

I think The Happening is worse. Giglie is a stupid romcom that happens to be worse than all the other stupid romcoms that come out all the time. At it's core, it's no different from a standard romcom, the only thing that fails are the jokes. It's still a piece of crap, but it's something that could have been fixed very easily in production, just get some comedians in for a punch-up on the jokes.

I don't know how the **** one would even begin to fix The Happening. This is a movie based on one of the dumbest premises ever for a horror film - killer calm breezes. How did anyone think it was gonna work? At no point in the production did anyone stop and suggest that perhaps audiences wouldn't find it terrifying, but actually find it utterly moronic beyond words.

And the acting is just... I can't even put it into words. There's no way these were the best takes. There's no ****ing way. I refuse to believe that this was the best take they had on set that day:



That is Manos Hands of Fate levels of acting. There is no way the actors were that bad in the best take or that M. Night, as astoundingly incompetent as he is, legitimately thought this was the best take of the scene. I'm convinced all the best takes were destroyed in a fire and they were forced to cut the movie together with takes from when the actors were goofing off. That is the only explanation that will ensure the safety of myself and those around me.
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 12-20-2013, 06:54 PM    (permalink
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Paul Rudd confirmed for Ant Man. Now all we need is Rashida Jones for Janet.
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Old 12-20-2013, 07:14 PM    (permalink
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The Happening is hilarious.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:07 PM    (permalink
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Agreed. Happening is hilarious. First time at the theatre though, I was pissed. Poor Shamaylan.

Open Water one of the worst movies you've seen? What an odd movie to hate on. It's an especially low budget survival film with an unconventional ending. What's to not like?
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:15 PM    (permalink
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American Hustle was amazing.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:19 PM    (permalink
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Survival movies are just boring as a genre.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:35 PM    (permalink
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BBD what the **** are you on? Very strong winter for movies and an incredibly strong year in general.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:43 PM    (permalink
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Also, The Happening is the only wide-release movie of the 00s that can give Battlefield Earth a run for it's money as the worst of the decade. It is truly atrocious on every level of filmmaking.
Have you seen Alexander? (don't do it)

It's the only movie I've ever turned off halfway through. Actually had purchased it from the video store (one of those 5 for $20 deals) and brought it back. Lied about why I was returning it so I could get something else.

It's absolutely the worst movie I've ever seen. On Rotten Tomatoes, the only tomatoes it gets is with critics admitting to being Stone fanboys and saying it's such a giant mess and so ******, it was fun to watch. And a lot of the reviews that have tomatoes are ******** on the movie if you read it, but the critic must have hit the wrong button. That movie SUCKS. It SUCKS. AND I HATE IT!
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:51 PM    (permalink
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I second Alexander being one of the worst films of all time. It's just so terrible in every way. I rarely stop watching movies now but watched this when I was 17 or so when I never turned off a movie. Got maybe half an hour in and just could not take anymore. It was torturous.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:54 PM    (permalink
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I second Alexander being one of the worst films of all time. It's just so terrible in every way. I rarely stop watching movies now but watched this when I was 17 or so when I never turned off a movie. Got maybe half an hour in and just could not take anymore. It was torturous.
I hated it so much, I finished watching it one day just so I could feel justified and so my opinion could be completely admissible. It only gets worse, man. The best part of the movie is Val Kilmer's awful, awful, awful, so awful I'm 100% certain he did it that way knowing it was awful on purpose speech toward the beginning.
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Old 12-21-2013, 03:00 AM    (permalink
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Have you seen Alexander? (don't do it)

It's the only movie I've ever turned off halfway through. Actually had purchased it from the video store (one of those 5 for $20 deals) and brought it back. Lied about why I was returning it so I could get something else.

It's absolutely the worst movie I've ever seen. On Rotten Tomatoes, the only tomatoes it gets is with critics admitting to being Stone fanboys and saying it's such a giant mess and so ******, it was fun to watch. And a lot of the reviews that have tomatoes are ******** on the movie if you read it, but the critic must have hit the wrong button. That movie SUCKS. It SUCKS. AND I HATE IT!
I have not seen Alexander but I know that Rosario Dawson gets topless so it can't be that bad.
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 12-21-2013, 03:17 AM    (permalink
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Yeah, Rosario Dawson tittays gets Alexander many thumbs up.
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:18 AM    (permalink
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Old 12-21-2013, 08:42 AM    (permalink
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So anchorman 2. Not that great.
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Old 12-21-2013, 10:48 AM    (permalink
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When I walked out of the theater after seeing Anchorman 1, I argued with my date on who's fault it was that we had just seen that stupid ass movie. Watched it again against my will when it came out on DVD and now it's one of my favorite comedies. Just sayin'... I wouldn't of assumed to come out of that theater blown away.
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