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Old 02-18-2008, 10:03 PM    (permalink
someone447
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someone447 you internet barbarian
Huh? What does that even mean?
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:04 PM    (permalink
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Here is my first one:

When you live in El Paso, TX you quickly realize how little there is to do. Thursday nights are the lone bright spot for those who are under 21. Thursday is the night of the 10$ Drink and Drown in Juarez, Mexico. This night was the last Thursday before I moved to Portland. I decided the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol was in order. It started off like any other night in Juarez. We pay our 35 cents and decide to go to Preppies. Now, Preppies is a dive bar just off the main strip, and my friends and I were regulars. We get there and pay our ten dollars. I walk up to the bar and say, “Hector, 6 shots of tequila and 6 Coronas.” The owner looks over at me and laughs, “It's going to be one of those nights.”

So I round up my two friends and make a toast, “Here's to you, and here's to me. Friends we shall ever be, but if we ever disagree, **** YOU, HERE'S TO ME!!!” We each down our two shots and chase it with a beer. About an hour later another group of my friends gets there. So I start talking to one of my buddies, and somehow the conversation shifts to bar fights(this should have been a sign to stop drinking, but true to my alcoholic nature, I soldiered on.) The rest of the night was uneventful, until the walk back across the bridge.

I have made it a personal policy to never give bums money, unless they do something for me. So, in exchange for the change in my pocket, I told the bums to do jumping jacks. They did a couple, and I gave them my change. This did not sit well with the group walking behind me. As my friends and I are walking, we hear, “Pinche Gringo” We assume there is about to be a fight behind us and just keep walking. If you are white, you don't want to be near any trouble when the Federales come around. This only angered the guy(hereafter known as douche) more.

I hear, “Pinche joto” as I feel a hand on my shoulder.
I turn around, “Fuck you, what the **** is your problem?”
I have no idea what he said after this, because I do not speak Spanish.
“Dude, do I look ******* Mexican? I am the whitest guy here, speak ******* English if you want a response.”
“Mang, you are ******* racist.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You made that Mexican do jumping jacks.”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, man, I don't give a damn if he is white, black, brown, or purple if a bum wants my money he has to make me laugh.”
“Fuck you asshole.”
I reply in my most sincere apologetic tone, “I am sorry you were offended, is it because your dad is homeless?”

Now, I am not a small guy. I am 5'10” 190 lbs with about 10% body fat(shameless self promotion ending.) These guys couldn't have been bigger than 5'8” 150 lbs.

This comment sealed the deal. We were going to fight. He pushes me, I get in his face and tell him I will beat his ass; but I am not getting arrested in Mexico. I tell him I will wait for him on the American side. This does not go over well and he keeps trying to fight me. I look over my shoulder and see a group of Federales on their way over. I turn and start walking to the border and apologize profusely when they stop me. They made us go ahead and held the other guys back until we were inside.

So, we are walking slowly towards the parking lot, waiting for the guys to cross. Douche runs up and pushes me. My buddy turns around and decks him in one punch. Douche's friend starts running up to help him, and my other buddy hits him before he gets to me. Then the third friend comes up and tackles me. He gets on top of me and starts wailing on me. I am able to get him off me, and get on top of him. I am just absolutely wailing on him. My friend pulls me off and asks for the keys. I hand them to him so he can get the car and we can get the hell out of their. My other friend and I start backing up to a wall so we can't be jumped from behind. All of a sudden, we are staring into a group of around 15 people. We are throwing punches at anyone who comes near. I connect with a couple shots to random people. My buddy honks and we start backing towards the car. Douche's girlfriend then runs out to us and sucker punches my buddy. I start cracking up and tell Douche to, “Get your ***** before something bad happens.”

We get out to near the car when my buddy gets sucker punched AGAIN. By now he is pissed. He throws the guy onto the roof of the car and beat him like he was a boxer leaning on the ropes. At the same time, a see a guy running up to jump in. I grab him and try to calm him down. He looks at me and says, “Motherfucker, you hit me.”

“Well, weren't you trying to fight me?”
“No, I was trying to break it up.”
“Dude, I am really sorry. I was just throwing punches at anything that got near me, I think I may have even hit my friend. I was just looking out for myself. Again, man, I am really sorry.”

Just as my friend lets the guy who sucker punched him up, my other friend pulls up, throws open the door and we hop in. Right as we turn out of the parking lot, a police car drives up and moves his spotlight over everyone still in the area. We head to Taco Cabana and relive one of the craziest nights of our young lives.
Holy ****, that is crazy. You are lucky man. That has got to be one of the wildest stories I have ever heard.

On that note, I want to tell another story. Im thinking ether the tobogonning one, or the bar fight one.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:06 PM    (permalink
someone447
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Holy ****, that is crazy. You are lucky man. That has got to be one of the wildest stories I have ever heard.

On that note, I want to tell another story. Im thinking ether the tobogonning one, or the bar fight one.
That is what happens when you get really drunk and say **** the consequences. I will write another one up tomorrow.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:06 PM    (permalink
Billingsley26
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That is what happens when you get really drunk and say **** the consequences. I will write another one up tomorrow.
Haha, trust me I know exactly what your saying. Im gonna tell you one tomorrow as well. Its either going to be the bar fight or toboggoning story.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:14 PM    (permalink
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Huh? What does that even mean?
haha, nothin dude just havin a dig at the guy gettin all worked up over the alcohol absorbing thing
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:18 PM    (permalink
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That is what happens when you get really drunk and say **** the consequences. I will write another one up tomorrow.
In about 3 weeks me and two of my friends are going to Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Holland and South East Asia over 189 days. Considering how stupid we are, these kind of stories make me fairly certain one of us is going to be stabbed.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:20 PM    (permalink
Billingsley26
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In about 3 weeks me and two of my friends are going to Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Holland and South East Asia over 189 days. Considering how stupid we are, these kind of stories make me fairly certain one of us is going to be stabbed.
WOW. You better take some notes, and remember all these stories. Man, your gonna have the time of your life.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:31 PM    (permalink
someone447
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In about 3 weeks me and two of my friends are going to Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Holland and South East Asia over 189 days. Considering how stupid we are, these kind of stories make me fairly certain one of us is going to be stabbed.
Man, I would kill to do that. I am planning on backpacking around Europe as soon as I graduate.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:34 PM    (permalink
Billingsley26
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Man, I would kill to do that. I am planning on backpacking around Europe as soon as I graduate.
Yeah I was hoping to do something a long the lines of that. Except within the States. I was thinking more of going on a mad road trip across the north then down the west coast, then back across the south to the east coast back up to the north. Hopefully one day.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:44 PM    (permalink
someone447
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Yeah I was hoping to do something a long the lines of that. Except within the States. I was thinking more of going on a mad road trip across the north then down the west coast, then back across the south to the east coast back up to the north. Hopefully one day.
I have lived in Wisconsin, South Carolina, Texas, and Oregon. I have already been to every state on the east coast south of NY(one place in the US I really need to get.) I've been all over the midwest, and over the next few years plan to have been all over the west coast. Plus, I plan to move around quite a bit as an adult, so getting to Europe would be better for me.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:50 PM    (permalink
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Man, I would kill to do that. I am planning on backpacking around Europe as soon as I graduate.
That was our original plan, than we looked into places like Chile and Peru, just could not resisit it. That and we can afford to go for about twice as long considering we only have 40 days in the pricey Europe. (88 in South America, 21 in Mexico and 40 in South East Asia)

Going to be amazing i hope, so much work and money going into this.
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Old 02-19-2008, 01:43 AM    (permalink
Billingsley26
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I have lived in Wisconsin, South Carolina, Texas, and Oregon. I have already been to every state on the east coast south of NY(one place in the US I really need to get.) I've been all over the midwest, and over the next few years plan to have been all over the west coast. Plus, I plan to move around quite a bit as an adult, so getting to Europe would be better for me.
Well, Ive been to Ontario, Quebec, PEI, NewFoundland, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. Ive been to Pennsylvania, both Virginia's, Florida, both Carolina's, California, Georgia and Michigan. Ive lived in Ontario and New York, and had kind of a winter house in Florida.

I still want to see more of the midwest and north west, but Im more interested in the south. So hopefully travelling to places like Mexico and the south Americas or Europe will happen sooner.
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Old 02-19-2008, 01:44 AM    (permalink
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Well, Ive been to Ontario, Quebec, PEI, NewFoundland, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. Ive been to Pennsylvania, both Virginia's, Florida, both Carolina's, California, Georgia and Michigan. Ive lived in Ontario and New York, and had kind of a winter house in Florida.

I still want to see more of the midwest and north west, but Im more interested in the south. So hopefully travelling to places like Mexico and the south Americas or Europe will happen sooner.
why does your rep suck so much
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Old 02-19-2008, 01:52 AM    (permalink
Billingsley26
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why does your rep suck so much
long story, but basically bf51 called bernard berrian a top 20 wr, and i got mad and called hima homer, which apparently really pissed ward off, that he neg repped me about 1000 points.
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Old 02-19-2008, 02:25 AM    (permalink
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why does your rep suck so much
he got anal rep raped, very sad i know
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Old 02-19-2008, 07:04 AM    (permalink
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