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Old 02-08-2010, 08:03 PM    (permalink
Brent
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she seems more concerned with what her friends think than how you feel. I would press the issue, but I'm more of the open/honest type.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:08 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by SwagU View Post
Bad sign to come. If this girl just lets her friends make up her mind about the relationship, you can see that she can be easily influenced by others. You have to tell her that your relationship can't be based on lies and that you care about her too much to be her little secret. You will se how much she really cares about you from this. The friends are also a big factor you have to overcome, it's hard to say what there issue with you is, any more info you can give us about them, any history with you and them?, they jealous type?.
Well the friends of hers are liars and like to have control over things. She doesn't tell me anything about what they said, her reponse is always "idk." Her two best friends don't trust me and believer im with her for one thing six. Also, when ever I am with them and her, they always text me, or tell me behind her back to stop being close to her since we are not dating, which makes me believe they are the ones that are runing this relationship.

I don't mind them, but when her and I were dating and did hold hands around them, they always talked about me to her. I think they thought i was taking her away from them, which makes no sense since her and i never had any alone time.

There were things discussed with the three of them that i was not told about, and she won't tell me.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:10 PM    (permalink
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she seems more concerned with what her friends think than how you feel. I would press the issue, but I'm more of the open/honest type.
see, when i do, her response is "i dont know" and she gets all quite.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:16 PM    (permalink
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Well the friends of hers are liars and like to have control over things. She doesn't tell me anything about what they said, her reponse is always "idk." Her two best friends don't trust me and believer im with her for one thing six. Also, when ever I am with them and her, they always text me, or tell me behind her back to stop being close to her since we are not dating, which makes me believe they are the ones that are runing this relationship.

I don't mind them, but when her and I were dating and did hold hands around them, they always talked about me to her. I think they thought i was taking her away from them, which makes no sense since her and i never had any alone time.

There were things discussed with the three of them that i was not told about, and she won't tell me.
Wow they seem really controlling over her. Tough situation you are in becuase we all know your relationship can't be kept in the dark, and it looks to me like these girls have there oppinion pretty set in stone about you. They seem like total bitches as well, best thing you can do is try to show them that you care for her on more of a emotional level then just physical. These girls just seem to be jealous of what you and her had or felt like you said that they were losing a friend.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:20 PM    (permalink
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If she is holding stuff back in the relationship this early...it's a sign of what is to come. Do yourself a favor and cut her out of your life...if she makes it an issue to be apart of yours 2-3 months from now maybe that'll cause her to grow up. She clearly is not mature if she lets other people influence her decisions....I think you might have blinders on...everyone wants to see the good in the ones they love. You have to try to be objective. 500 days of summer had a great line. It's easy to remember the good times...but honestly take a step back and remember the bad times.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:48 PM    (permalink
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Have a reason to call. Setup a date or talk about something that you both watched. Never just call up to say hey...or find out what shes doing....I mean you could if you want...but if she's not a talker in the first place it'd probably lead to some awkward situations. What is your point for the calls or what are you sick of texting?
That's true, she's not very talkative so it might not be the best idea. Worth a try I thought.

And yea I'm tierd of texting and I don't think she's big on it either.
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:18 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
Another thing that I will note here is that you seem to be getting over this pretty quickly. That is a clear indication that you are either not as into her as you thought or you aren't dealing with the actual emotions yet. Be sure to give yourself the proper time to fully understand your situation.
OH believe me, I've been through the emotions lol. I've been in this situation before and I know how to handle it better this time. The first time I begged and pleaded and I realized that I needed to just step back and focus on myself and not her (as hard as that is). She just came into my room tonight and said she almost cried at dinner because she missed me so much. Staying away from your ex and focusing on yourself does nothing but make you better. As tough as it is, it makes you a better person, no doubt about it. I feel great right now because I am in control of this now, not her. She wants me back, but I don't have to take her back.
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:14 AM    (permalink
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Ok, so my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, about two weeks ago her two really close friends told her to break up with me, because they dislike me. Around her friends and on facebook we are single, yet when no one is looking we act as if we are still in a relationship. She told me during the time she wanted a break, and her friends tell me that she is the one who wanted to break up, but she says its her friends who are the ones that want her to break up with me.

We still talk on the phone, msn, facebook, and talk to each other as if we are still together, my question is, wtf am i suppose to do? all of this happened out of no where and was random at the time, of course it happened two weeks ago, but i still think about it. When ever her and I are around the two friends, we act like friends, and when they are not looking, we hold hands and etc...
This is fairly simple. She has to decide what she wants. She can't keep saying you're not together, then acting like you are. She is deluding herself here. What I would say is that her actions state that you guys are in a relationship. However, her telling everyone else that you know that you guys aren't together is a lie, and that it hurts you deeply. I read it that she wants to be with you, but she doesn't want to deal with the drama that her friends are throwing. Either that or she doesn't want to be with you, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Either way, her actions and her words need to be in sync. You are enabling the current situation by taking her back whenever she comes to you. Stop that. Tell her to decide what she wants that you're here, and you want all of her or to move on. Let her decide. If she wants to do any sort of conditions, walk away. You deserve better than half way.
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:18 AM    (permalink
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Bsaza, you need to stop posting in here and start posting about some damn football dammit.

We need you back.
come back bsaza!

we need you back in the NFC East discussions!

</3
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:20 AM    (permalink
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OH believe me, I've been through the emotions lol. I've been in this situation before and I know how to handle it better this time. The first time I begged and pleaded and I realized that I needed to just step back and focus on myself and not her (as hard as that is). She just came into my room tonight and said she almost cried at dinner because she missed me so much. Staying away from your ex and focusing on yourself does nothing but make you better. As tough as it is, it makes you a better person, no doubt about it. I feel great right now because I am in control of this now, not her. She wants me back, but I don't have to take her back.
If you want her back, you can now have her. If not, let her go and move on. I get the sense that you haven't decided what you want yet. Good luck!
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:20 AM    (permalink
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come back bsaza!

we need you back in the NFC East discussions!

</3
With everything at work, it's hard for me to keep up with you guys. This is easier and lower impact...
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:33 AM    (permalink
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With everything at work, it's hard for me to keep up with you guys. This is easier and lower impact...
im busy too bro. i used to do write ups all the time etc, and i dont do em anymore bc of my workload.

but you don't need to do all that to get your opinion in. it takes 30 seconds to write a post.

making a post here and there never hurt anybody. think about it this way, all the time you spent making posts on here, you couldve made posts about the eagles instead.

and quite frankly, im much more interested in hearing your thoughts on the eagles.
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Old 02-09-2010, 11:27 AM    (permalink
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OH believe me, I've been through the emotions lol. I've been in this situation before and I know how to handle it better this time. The first time I begged and pleaded and I realized that I needed to just step back and focus on myself and not her (as hard as that is). She just came into my room tonight and said she almost cried at dinner because she missed me so much. Staying away from your ex and focusing on yourself does nothing but make you better. As tough as it is, it makes you a better person, no doubt about it. I feel great right now because I am in control of this now, not her. She wants me back, but I don't have to take her back.
I didn't mention it before but I kind of expected this to happen if you went cold turkey on her. Like you said, the begging and pleading does absolutely nothing but make it worse.

As men, or young men I suppose, it sometimes feels like the hardest thing in the world to accept but many times the best course of action is to not act at all and let things happen.
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Old 02-09-2010, 12:19 PM    (permalink
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If you want her back, you can now have her. If not, let her go and move on. I get the sense that you haven't decided what you want yet. Good luck!
Yeah I honestly can't say that I have made up my mind as to whether or not I want her back. If she breaks down and comes crying to me sometime soon, I might consider it :)
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Old 02-09-2010, 12:28 PM    (permalink
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Don't make your decision based on her emotional response. That just teaches her that she can cry to manipulate you. Make your decision based on whether or not you think that she can meet your needs. If you don't think she can, drop her for good. If you think she needs to change to meet them, then you should communicate those.
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Old 02-09-2010, 05:16 PM    (permalink
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Don't make your decision based on her emotional response. That just teaches her that she can cry to manipulate you. Make your decision based on whether or not you think that she can meet your needs. If you don't think she can, drop her for good. If you think she needs to change to meet them, then you should communicate those.
Yeah I know haha I was joking. Honestly I think I do want her back but I'm unsure how to go about it. Should I continue to keep my space and let her come back to me? She obviously misses me a ton already because of what happened last night alone. I know she is beginning to regret this at least. Or should I be proactive. I think I need to keep my distance from her and make her miss me so much that she comes back.
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Old 02-09-2010, 09:12 PM    (permalink
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Yeah I know haha I was joking. Honestly I think I do want her back but I'm unsure how to go about it. Should I continue to keep my space and let her come back to me? She obviously misses me a ton already because of what happened last night alone. I know she is beginning to regret this at least. Or should I be proactive. I think I need to keep my distance from her and make her miss me so much that she comes back.
You have the right idea. Keep your distance and keep making her come to you. the time will come when she breaks and confesses that she made a mistake. If you rush to her side you just make it seem as if you needed her more then she needed you and therefore she feels she has the upper hand in the relationship.
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Old 02-10-2010, 12:21 AM    (permalink
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girl (who im crazy about):

when together with her bf from home: all over me
when single: ignores me, yet talks about how happy she is to be single

what the ****
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Old 02-10-2010, 12:25 AM    (permalink
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girl (who im crazy about):

when together with her bf from home: all over me
when single: ignores me, yet talks about how happy she is to be single

what the ****
What do you want. Obviously she is a classic play games type of girl. Are you trying to have a relationship with her or just hook up with her?

My initial guess as to why she would be acting like that is because she knows you want her. So when she has a bf she knows you two can't do ****. So she tempts you...however when she is single she avoids you because she's free and you could have her then.
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[00:37] <toonster> i mean, i can talk dirty
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Old 02-10-2010, 06:27 AM    (permalink
TimD
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What do you want. Obviously she is a classic play games type of girl. Are you trying to have a relationship with her or just hook up with her?

My initial guess as to why she would be acting like that is because she knows you want her. So when she has a bf she knows you two can't do ****. So she tempts you...however when she is single she avoids you because she's free and you could have her then.
nah she basically just told me yesterday she doesnt have enough feelings for me. which basically means thanks but i want to get with random dudes now. i feel like i got shot haha damn
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:19 AM    (permalink
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Just don't talk to her dude. The best way to get a girl to come back is to forget about her and focus on yourself. You control your life, she doesn't.
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:20 AM    (permalink
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Just don't talk to her dude. The best way to get a girl to come back is to forger about her and focus on yourself. You control your life, she doesn't.
yup thats what has to happen. it sucks cause we were like best friends and would occasionally get with eachother, but i thought we were both waiting until she was single. the last time she was single i was with another girl and had to shut her down each day, now this time i feel like an idiot. damn well snow day, time to get hammered all day!
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:00 PM    (permalink
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I just realized that all of my conflicts (arguments/fights whatever you want to call it) with women come from them not being sober (drunk or high). Like ALL of them.
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:36 PM    (permalink
Brent
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I just realized that all of my conflicts (arguments/fights whatever you want to call it) with women come from them not being sober (drunk or high). Like ALL of them.
no ****. there is a difference between dealing with them while buzzed (usually when you are loose or whatever) and drunk. I can say this from experience: being drunk usually makes it worse. you think you sound great but you likely look like an asshole.
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:45 PM    (permalink
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no ****. there is a difference between dealing with them while buzzed (usually when you are loose or whatever) and drunk. I can say this from experience: being drunk usually makes it worse. you think you sound great but you likely look like an asshole.
True. Just get her tipsy as well. Not drunk, just tipsy.

I'm leaving to Mexico for a week in less than 48 hours. Any little advice you guys have for hooking up with chicks in similar situations? I think my game is pretty good, but any insight would be nice. I know it's sorta easy, and I'll be protected, just looking for some expertise here.
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