Relationship Advice Thread - Page 153

vikes_28 · 02-13-2010, 10:49 AM

Hallmark really blew up the idea of Valentine's day. I really could care less about this holiday. Just because of what hallmark has done.

thule · 02-13-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikes_28

What happened to your other Girlfriend? I thought she was a hottie.

Unfortunately it takes more than looks to make a relationship work, otherwise I woulda be set. This gf isn't bad on the eyes either tho. Not in that class but still a looker.

I'm curious for some of the older guys in here who have dealt with some of this before.

Do you actually put up with your wife/significant other, partying with other males. I know this isn't something that likely happens very often in a mature relationship. But i'm at a very weird crossroads. I got out of a very untrustworthy relationship after 3.5 years. Moved onto this on about a year later. Already have doubts which can't be good.

EX). Last night I go to the casino and she is going to celebrate her bday. No big deal I tell her I'll hit her up when i'm back in town. Get into town at 1230 and text her...no reply so I send another text about 1 when I figure out where I'm going. She replies and acts moderately interested. Says she'll call me soon. 2 hours go by and I'm DJ'ing my face off at a get together and she hasn't called...I decide to call her. She is notorious for blacking out when she drinks...lets just say she knows how to drink a beer. Anyways a dude answers and hangs up...i'm like well it was loud I'll go upstairs. I text her and no reply...then I call her and shes like where are you at....we talk for a little while and shes like well I gotta figure it out....click. I'm like wtf she's clearly hammered and shes out with her girls at this party. She then texts me that shes too drunk to meet up.

Now we've both made it clear that once we wanna move onto other people we will since we've both been hurt before....so I don't think she cheated or anything like that. But am I crazy for not wanting to deal with that. I never thought I'd hear myself say this...but is she in fact to independent?

vikes_28 · 02-13-2010, 03:14 PM

I know you wanted someone older, but I can relate to what you are going through. I am engaged at the age of 19, you know that. And just recently I went out of town to do a couple of gigs with the band. She thought it would be ok with me if she went out and stayed overnight at a guys house. When she told me I couldn't be more furious, and I said that if were dating anything shy of 3 years (we've been dating for 4), that I would have ended it. And I told her that I will not have that in a mature relationship where we are ready to take it to the next level. And I said that I can end it as fast as it started.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't put up with it, especially if it's a relationship that's been as long as mine, but this early in your relationship (a month right?), don't worry about it. When things get more serious, that's when you gotta put the hammer down.

I hope this helps some.

Brent · 02-13-2010, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikes_28

She thought it would be ok with me if she went out and stayed overnight at a guys house. When she told me I couldn't be more furious

You make it sound like she sucked his dick or something. You're engaged at 19, at no point in either of your lives did you two likely hook up with other people. If she were going to **** around with another guy (and I dont mean to imply she did), would that not be something you could at least accept as a possibility? I am not saying such actions should be seen as acceptable if she agreed to join in an monogamous relationship, but you have to accept that as a possible result of your situation.

That said, remember: once a cheater, always a cheater.

vikes_28 · 02-13-2010, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent

You make it sound like she sucked his dick or something. You're engaged at 19, at no point in either of your lives did you two likely hook up with other people. If she were going to **** around with another guy (and I dont mean to imply she did), would that not be something you could at least accept as a possibility? I am not saying such actions should be seen as acceptable if she agreed to join in an monogamous relationship, but you have to accept that as a possible result of your situation.

That said, remember: once a cheater, always a cheater.

I don't mean to make it sound bad or anything, it just made it worse with the fact that she did this while I was out of town. I could go and cheat on her in 5 minutes if I wanted to. It would take one phone call to hook with a girl(s) that I know. She's not a cheater, and I know she didn't, because if she does something wrong or something that she shouldn't have she would have started getting all clingy and not stop telling me how much she loves me and what not. And by wrong I don't mean cheating, I just mean stuff like bad grades or stuff like that.

That being said, I'm still not over the fact that she spent the night at a guys house, even though they stayed awake the entire time and she was with two other people.

She has some sort of problem standing up to her friends when it comes to stupid **** like this, cause she never meant to do it, it was one of those peer pressure sort of situations. And she couldn't say no to her friend (who is a girl) when she said she wants to go over to his house.

Am I overreacting?

ccB · 02-13-2010, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent

I remember when I drank underage.

I am sure I know what your rant was over and what points you covered but how did that work with her? Was she persuaded or just let you have this?

I touched most the common points (corporate holliday = badz etc) then I capped it off by telling her I'd rather show my love independently, and that I do not need a specific day to tell her I love her.

Guys get a raw deal on the conventional V-day anyway, we are the ones left to do all the woo-ing, while the women sit back and collect.

trademaster · 02-14-2010, 02:27 AM

I have an urgent question

I've been flirting with extremely gorgeous neigbhour for months now, and it's it cool to give her something for valentines day?

Just something simple, like a box of chocolate with a small teddy bear.

with the following note:

''Hey Karen, I think you're really gorgeous. From Anonymous''

Is it too creepy or what?

Thanks

ATLDirtyBirds · 02-14-2010, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trademaster

''Hey Karen, I think you're really gorgeous. From Anonymous''

Is it too creepy or what?

Thanks

I'm considering calling the police right now.

KCJ58 · 02-14-2010, 01:25 PM

so is this the Valentines Day thread too?

bearsfan_51 · 02-14-2010, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thule

I'm curious for some of the older guys in here who have dealt with some of this before.

Do you actually put up with your wife/significant other, partying with other males. I know this isn't something that likely happens very often in a mature relationship. But i'm at a very weird crossroads. I got out of a very untrustworthy relationship after 3.5 years. Moved onto this on about a year later. Already have doubts which can't be good.

EX). Last night I go to the casino and she is going to celebrate her bday. No big deal I tell her I'll hit her up when i'm back in town. Get into town at 1230 and text her...no reply so I send another text about 1 when I figure out where I'm going. She replies and acts moderately interested. Says she'll call me soon. 2 hours go by and I'm DJ'ing my face off at a get together and she hasn't called...I decide to call her. She is notorious for blacking out when she drinks...lets just say she knows how to drink a beer. Anyways a dude answers and hangs up...i'm like well it was loud I'll go upstairs. I text her and no reply...then I call her and shes like where are you at....we talk for a little while and shes like well I gotta figure it out....click. I'm like wtf she's clearly hammered and shes out with her girls at this party. She then texts me that shes too drunk to meet up.

Now we've both made it clear that once we wanna move onto other people we will since we've both been hurt before....so I don't think she cheated or anything like that. But am I crazy for not wanting to deal with that. I never thought I'd hear myself say this...but is she in fact to independent?

I don't think the problem is that she hangs out with guys, it's that she drinks to the point of blacking out, and you'd rather be somewhere else than being with her on her birthday. I think you should not be in this relationship, but not for the reasons you mentioned.

thule · 02-14-2010, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bearsfan_51

I don't think the problem is that she hangs out with guys, it's that she drinks to the point of blacking out, and you'd rather be somewhere else than being with her on her birthday. I think you should not be in this relationship, but not for the reasons you mentioned.

No I wanted to be with her. She wanted to hangout with her girlfriends early on in the night. So I went with a friend to the casino. We were planning to hangout later on in the night...she just couldn't drive.

For the record the last two times shes gotten drunk with her sluu friend they have hardcore makeout sessions...we are pretty sure she is bi....and I'm guaranteeing that after we end this she'll have a girlfriend. This can't be good.

VoteLynnSwan · 02-14-2010, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thule

No I wanted to be with her. She wanted to hangout with her girlfriends early on in the night. So I went with a friend to the casino. We were planning to hangout later on in the night...she just couldn't drive.

For the record the last two times shes gotten drunk with her sluu friend they have hardcore makeout sessions...we are pretty sure she is bi....and I'm guaranteeing that after we end this she'll have a girlfriend. This can't be good.

what you need to do is parlay that into a threesome. NOW!

thule · 02-14-2010, 07:29 PM

I actually ended up breaking it off tonight. Probably the biggest dick move is breaking up with someone on vday...but i just had been thinking about it way to much to the point where I wouldn't have been really in it had I went over to her house tonight anyways.

VoteLynnSwan · 02-14-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thule

I actually ended up breaking it off tonight. Probably the biggest dick move is breaking up with someone on vday...but i just had been thinking about it way to much to the point where I wouldn't have been really in it had I went over to her house tonight anyways.

shoulda parlayed the threesome, then broken up with her...

Though that would have been an even bigger dick move...

thule · 02-14-2010, 07:42 PM

I got scared I'd get into a threesome and that she'd breakup with me after it and turn into a dyke...I couldn't move on after that. Obviously that isn't the reason for the breakup...but that is the reason i didn't parlay the threesome.

BufFan71 · 02-14-2010, 09:31 PM

pretty annoyed.

took a chick out to eat... Its the 3rd time we've went out...
she hasnt put out yet. tired of wasting my time on her

on to the next chick

VoteLynnSwan · 02-14-2010, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BufFan71

pretty annoyed.

took a chick out to eat... Its the 3rd time we've went out...
she hasnt put out yet. tired of wasting my time on her

on to the next chick

how old are you?

BufFan71 · 02-15-2010, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VoteLynnSwan

how old are you?

19...

is there a problem?

PACKmanN · 02-15-2010, 01:07 PM

So, some of you may know what i wrote about my girlfriend, her two best friends, and myself. Yesterday, on V-day, her and I were suppose to go out for dinner and a movie, around 2 pm i get text messages from one of those friends saying she wants him to come along, i texted her and told her what he wrote and she didn't know what he was talking about, i knew he lied. He ends up comming because she didn't want him to be alone and all i got was a sorry from her, and I had an below-average experience because of it.

The end.