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Old 04-25-2010, 05:16 PM    (permalink
PACKmanN
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Originally Posted by YAYareaRB View Post
Be the steak.. shes fallin' for hot dogs and hamburgers. Be the steak
lmfao, all you did was make me hungry. What are you talking about?


Also, she was wearing the necklace i got her for christmas yesterday. I don't know what the hell to do.
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Old 04-25-2010, 05:22 PM    (permalink
BigDawg819
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lmfao, all you did was make me hungry. What are you talking about?


Also, she was wearing the necklace i got her for christmas yesterday. I don't know what the hell to do.
Relax and chill out. Stop worrying and tearing yourself up. Go about your day and put this out of mind. She needs time so give her time. Pressing the issue will only make things worse.
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Originally Posted by Job View Post
On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
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Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
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Old 04-25-2010, 05:30 PM    (permalink
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lmfao, all you did was make me hungry. What are you talking about?


Also, she was wearing the necklace i got her for christmas yesterday. I don't know what the hell to do.


Ask her to see the necklace because you think something is wrong with it. Then just run/drive away, sell the necklace and refrain from any contact.
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:06 AM    (permalink
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lmfao, all you did was make me hungry. What are you talking about?


Also, she was wearing the necklace i got her for christmas yesterday. I don't know what the hell to do.
Unfortunately, the necklace is her's unless she offers to give it back.

And Packman the way you put it and how she doesn't seem to want to hang out with you, I would press the issue now rather than let it drag on. Sure it might seem like she is having a tough time with her family stuff, but you can only give so much to her without getting anything back.

If you've told her you are there for her to talk to, and have tried to get her to open up about her problems only to be shutdown every time then I can't imagine anything changing in the future.

If you want try for a week or two to get her to open up to you it might save the relationship but if she hasn't said much after then it's time to cut ties and move on - as hard as it may be
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:38 AM    (permalink
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Unfortunately, the necklace is her's unless she offers to give it back.

And Packman the way you put it and how she doesn't seem to want to hang out with you, I would press the issue now rather than let it drag on. Sure it might seem like she is having a tough time with her family stuff, but you can only give so much to her without getting anything back.

If you've told her you are there for her to talk to, and have tried to get her to open up about her problems only to be shutdown every time then I can't imagine anything changing in the future.

If you want try for a week or two to get her to open up to you it might save the relationship but if she hasn't said much after then it's time to cut ties and move on - as hard as it may be
The thing is i already did ask her about that. If you guys dont remember, she hangs out with her friends on friday, saturday until 6-8 in the morning. She tells me how she would hang out with me on sundays but she wakes up at 2pm and the buses end at 10. It doesnt give us any time to do anything.

I asked her if she still wants to watch a movie this weekend, we had planned 3 weeks ago, and her response was prob, when she says idk or prob i have learned it to mean no i told her nvm and she said she is still trying to sort out her life. I don't understand this girl; she is confusing the hell out of me.
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:45 AM    (permalink
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The thing is i already did ask her about that. If you guys dont remember, she hangs out with her friends on friday, saturday until 6-8 in the morning. She tells me how she would hang out with me on sundays but she wakes up at 2pm and the buses end at 10. It doesnt give us any time to do anything.

I asked her if she still wants to watch a movie this weekend, we had planned 3 weeks ago, and her response was prob, when she says idk or prob i have learned it to mean no i told her nvm and she said she is still trying to sort out her life. I don't understand this girl; she is confusing the hell out of me.
Simple solution, end it. NOW!

Obviously the only thing you get out of this relationship, and I struggle at using that term, is stress. You apparently care about this girl a good amount, and from what I read in your posts I don't see any benefits that you get in return. You seem to be her fallback option or last resort to spend time with. Now I am just making these observations from what you are posting so I realize my thoughts could be incorrect.
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On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
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Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:47 AM    (permalink
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Simple solution, end it. NOW!

Obviously the only thing you get out of this relationship, and I struggle at using that term, is stress. You apparently care about this girl a good amount, and from what I read in your posts I don't see any benefits that you get in return. You seem to be her fallback option or last resort to spend time with. Now I am just making these observations from what you are posting so I realize my thoughts could be incorrect.
(I'm haven't been able to read all the details of the relationship but from what I have read I think I can see some similarities with something I've done)

I agree with ending it now. You can never accept being the person she can rely on only when nobody else is available, I've been in this position I know it sucks.

Letting her tread water like this isn't fair to you, she needs to make a decision and if she can't you need to step up and prove that you aren't just going to hold on to it until she ends it. I know "being there for her" seems like the right thing to do but remember women don't make any sense.

Preemptive action can have a few outcomes

First you end it on your own accord, I really believe that having at least some power over a relationship ending is helpful (leaving is better than being left).

Secondly, this is the only way I believe that anything could be salvaged. Either she believes that is over already and is being a typical teenager (I'm assuming) and can't end it properly, OR she is far too comfortable with you and doesn't have any sense of urgency with losing you so she doesn't really put much effort into it like you are.

I know it sounds awful to leave a girl while she is trying to figure out her life, but she isn't letting you help her and you need to look out for yourself. Relationships can turn into sinking ships but you don't have to sink with it.

I've gone down with the ship when I knew I should have bailed a long time ago. I didn't think I could do that to her after what happened to her before and so I was basically just waiting for it to happen and it was torturous. It isn't honorable or heroic and most likely there is not going to be a hollywood esque resurgence of what you had.

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Old 04-26-2010, 11:09 AM    (permalink
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I've gone down with the ship when I knew I should have bailed a long time ago. I didn't think I could do that to her after what happened to her before and so I was basically just waiting for it to happen and it was torturous. It isn't honorable or heroic and most likely there is not going to be a hollywood esque resurgence of what you had.
Quoted for the truth.


We as men are conditioned to be tough and none emotional, but we too are humans and want those things as well just not always in the same contexts depending on the person. The reason movies sell is because the endings are usually what we wish would happen in our own lives but usually do not. That can also lead to unrealistic expectations of relationships as well on the flip side, but at the end of the day 2 people are involved and they can make it what they want. Communication is the key, and if you are in a spot where there is little to no communication then you truly in a sinking ship. Its not heroic to go down with the ship when you can easily jump into a life boat before its too late. Common sense can do wonders....
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On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
Quote:
Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
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Old 04-26-2010, 12:13 PM    (permalink
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Thanks guys, if our plans are cancelled this weekend, then I have no other choice but to end it. It would be 2 weeks since her an I haven't seen eachother. The one day I did see her, lets just say, it wasn't fun at all.
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:02 AM    (permalink
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All right, real situation time. Stick with me here.

I'm going to prom with my friend Ally. Sweet girl, I've known her for years, and coincidentally we're both going to USC. Now right now, Ally and I are really just friends. However, I can't help but feel she might want something more. I get the impression she's been a little more flirty with me since I had my jaw surgery a couple months ago (not to sound narcissistic, but I look a lot better since I've had it).

Today, my good friend Dylan (he's known Ally as long as I've had, we all run in the same group) texted me asking if there was anything going on between me and Ally. I told him no, we're just going to prom together. Dylan says okay, because he's been considering asking Ally out for a while now, but would naturally wait until after prom to do so. And he wants me to scout the waters, as it were.

Now, just so we're clear, I would truly take a bullet for this kid Dylan. I love him like a brother. And even though I have seen myself dating Ally, I'm starting to think I much rather enjoy playing the field. Plus, if I tell Ally I'm interested in her in that way, and I totally read it wrong and she is not, that could certainly lead to some awkwardness in Los Angeles. Dylan liking her is a very good thing.

My question is, how do I scout the waters for Dylan without it seeming to Ally like I'm interested in her. For example, how can I ask questions like, "So, are you interested in anyone right now?" and not make it seem as though I am asking her for my own benefit. I have little experience wingmanning like this, so any help would be appreciated.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:50 AM    (permalink
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lmfao, all you did was make me hungry. What are you talking about?
Steaks are a higher quality meal than a hamburger. Once she gets a taste of these lower quality meals, and you keep being the steak, she'll find out just what she's missing

It's a saying they tell the elders in the mission field (I'm Mormon) when they get Dear John'd (Girlfriend sends a break up letter). A lot of missionaries go home after they get those kinda letters.
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Old 04-27-2010, 06:30 AM    (permalink
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My question is, how do I scout the waters for Dylan without it seeming to Ally like I'm interested in her. For example, how can I ask questions like, "So, are you interested in anyone right now?" and not make it seem as though I am asking her for my own benefit. I have little experience wingmanning like this, so any help would be appreciated.
He may be your "brother" but he can grow a pair and risk his own humiliation by asking her out. You're not his dating researcher.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:16 PM    (permalink
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Listen if you guys have known this girl ally for a long time now then theres nothing left to scout. Usually if im helping my friend out its just getting to know their personality to see if there right for him/her. As Bret said he needs to man up and do the rest by himself.

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Old 04-27-2010, 03:19 PM    (permalink
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Thanks guys, if our plans are cancelled this weekend, then I have no other choice but to end it. It would be 2 weeks since her an I haven't seen eachother. The one day I did see her, lets just say, it wasn't fun at all.
Yea man dont be affraid to let go of what was once good you cant hold on to something that doesnt wanna be held on to. Good luck
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:23 PM    (permalink
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Nah im in college now, and I finally asked my teacher the girls name. And ill work on it soon, im trying to devise a way that my ex and her don't talk during the layover.
Since your in college I'd say go for it. In highschool that had drama written all over it but your in a better situation and you really dont have anything to lose here since you dont have to see your ex
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:33 PM    (permalink
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Just an update for ya'll:

We went up to PSU, partied, she didn't drink, I did (she mixed one of my drinks). She said that when she comes up to visit me this summer that she'll drink, and that I can mix her drink. I already know what I'll mix her. Anyways my friend accidentally let me read one of their convos between them (she forgot that they were talking about the weekend and just told me to read something) and the girl I'm after said, "Matt was tipsy, and still really nice." I have no clue what that means.

We cuddled again throughout the night. Tonight she texted me saying, "I normally don't like air mattresses (we were on my sisters floor on an air mattress), but last weekend it basically felt like heaven. You helped make it warm too."

She didn't take off her pants in the middle of the night (instead just wore spandex shorts off the bat), but did take off her bra. She also mentioned how our friend Chris mentioned that he felt like he was the 3rd wheel at some points.

Anyways, I had a nice time hanging out with her. You guys can dissect it how you want.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:37 PM    (permalink
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He may be your "brother" but he can grow a pair and risk his own humiliation by asking her out. You're not his dating researcher.
Brent's got it.
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Old 04-28-2010, 06:37 AM    (permalink
Brent
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Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Originally Posted by StickSkills View Post
Just an update for ya'll:

We went up to PSU, partied, she didn't drink, I did (she mixed one of my drinks). She said that when she comes up to visit me this summer that she'll drink, and that I can mix her drink. I already know what I'll mix her. Anyways my friend accidentally let me read one of their convos between them (she forgot that they were talking about the weekend and just told me to read something) and the girl I'm after said, "Matt was tipsy, and still really nice." I have no clue what that means.

We cuddled again throughout the night. Tonight she texted me saying, "I normally don't like air mattresses (we were on my sisters floor on an air mattress), but last weekend it basically felt like heaven. You helped make it warm too."

She didn't take off her pants in the middle of the night (instead just wore spandex shorts off the bat), but did take off her bra. She also mentioned how our friend Chris mentioned that he felt like he was the 3rd wheel at some points.

Anyways, I had a nice time hanging out with her. You guys can dissect it how you want.
you are officially in the friend zone as far as I am concerned.
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Old 04-28-2010, 06:43 AM    (permalink
tjsunstein
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Originally Posted by Brent View Post
you are officially in the friend zone as far as I am concerned.
No way that's friend zone. It's definitely more just by reading that one post. It will be friend zone in due time if they don't act quickly. Then again, I'm missing the back story in all likeliness.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:35 AM    (permalink
georgiafan
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georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StickSkills View Post
Just an update for ya'll:

We went up to PSU, partied, she didn't drink, I did (she mixed one of my drinks). She said that when she comes up to visit me this summer that she'll drink, and that I can mix her drink. I already know what I'll mix her. Anyways my friend accidentally let me read one of their convos between them (she forgot that they were talking about the weekend and just told me to read something) and the girl I'm after said, "Matt was tipsy, and still really nice." I have no clue what that means.

We cuddled again throughout the night. Tonight she texted me saying, "I normally don't like air mattresses (we were on my sisters floor on an air mattress), but last weekend it basically felt like heaven. You helped make it warm too."

She didn't take off her pants in the middle of the night (instead just wore spandex shorts off the bat), but did take off her bra. She also mentioned how our friend Chris mentioned that he felt like he was the 3rd wheel at some points.

Anyways, I had a nice time hanging out with her. You guys can dissect it how you want.
I say make a move now because if you wait a few months it will be to late.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:42 AM    (permalink
OSUGiants17
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OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Tere is this girl, she is a year older than me and a grade above. We talk, and I'm friends with her brother, and I really want to take it to the next level with her. Any advice? Also, there is a slight chemistry and it's not like I would be the creepy brothers friend who comes onto the hot older sister out of no where. I actually talk to her more than her brother. It's not a big deal that she is his sister, the problem is that she is older. Please help.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:47 AM    (permalink
georgiafan
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georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.georgiafan is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Originally Posted by OSUGiants17 View Post
Tere is this girl, she is a year older than me and a grade above. We talk, and I'm friends with her brother, and I really want to take it to the next level with her. Any advice? Also, there is a slight chemistry and it's not like I would be the creepy brothers friend who comes onto the hot older sister out of no where. I actually talk to her more than her brother. It's not a big deal that she is his sister, the problem is that she is older. Please help.
how close are you and her brother? how long have you and him been friends?
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:54 AM    (permalink
OSUGiants17
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OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.OSUGiants17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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not good friends, we talk on occation and have 2 classes together, we have only been friends for a year and a half cause he and his sister(along with their parents) just moved here from Cali 3 years ago.
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:59 AM    (permalink
YAYareaRB
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i just can't ******* win.. at anything
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Old 04-28-2010, 10:33 AM    (permalink
ShutDwn
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Originally Posted by tjsunstein View Post
No way that's friend zone. It's definitely more just by reading that one post. It will be friend zone in due time if they don't act quickly. Then again, I'm missing the back story in all likeliness.
Yeah, friend zone doesn't include cuddling and all that stuff. But, don't act like it was a big deal to you. I hope you didn't agree to her text about heaven, honestly the best thing you could have done is not replied because you show no cards and that type of stuff instigates further action from her. At the early stages a keeping them interested is knowing when to pay attention and when to ignore them.
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