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Old 05-01-2010, 11:14 PM    (permalink
BigDawg819
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Originally Posted by rockio42 View Post
I'm not trying to be a tool though, I'm just confused as to what I really want cause its confusing me now that a girl who has been my best friend is now starting to like me but I also care for a like this girl I have been dating for a month or two now...
Hence why I said be a good boyfriend. You're with her some why do you care who else likes you?
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Old 05-01-2010, 11:41 PM    (permalink
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Yah, that's basically how I've been looking at it this entire time. I figure I made a choice a few months ago and I do really like this girl, its just sometimes this kinda stuff weighs at you in your head and helps to kinda write out like this and vent a little and its just been confusing and such, like I said i'm not trying to be a douschbag or anything like that
It just sounds like you don't like your girlfriend enough to make a definite decision on being with her. Sure there can be temptations, but you aren't supposed to act on them...nor do you let them manifest (letting other girls cuddle with you, letting them be "touchy-feely".) You aren't the victim dude, so don't act like it. From everything you mentioned you're basically relaying the message that you like your girlfriend, but you don't like her enough to committed. Like I said, this really isn't complicated.
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:23 AM    (permalink
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what the junk. this doesn't even make sense...

so I'm talking to that girl, and one of our friends had her boyfriend break up with her and now they're back together... anyways, she is like giving me a hypothetical situation about if a girl broke up with me would I try to move on and be independent or try and get back together with her again. It then got weird cause she was like, "yeah, I believe that once you break up, you're done, final. I decided that about a year ago."

Alright cool, that makes sense, one of her ex-boyfriends and her were off and on every week, and we all now know that the guy is a complete tool. However, the guy she is with broke up with her because he wasn't really feeling any emotions with her. That was about 10 months ago. So why did they get back together 7 months ago? I wanted to ask her this, but I bit my tongue. It just doesn't make sense to me...
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:32 AM    (permalink
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Listen to Tom Leykis.
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Old 05-02-2010, 02:32 AM    (permalink
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Listen to Tom Leykis.
**** YES. /thread
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Old 05-03-2010, 05:12 AM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by rockio42 View Post
I'm not trying to be a tool though, I'm just confused as to what I really want cause its confusing me now that a girl who has been my best friend is now starting to like me but I also care for a like this girl I have been dating for a month or two now...
Not much more needs to be said. YOU have to figure out what YOU want we cant really help you on this one
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:24 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by rockio42 View Post
I'm not trying to be a tool though, I'm just confused as to what I really want cause its confusing me now that a girl who has been my best friend is now starting to like me but I also care for a like this girl I have been dating for a month or two now...
Sounds like you need to be single for awhile dude. You're in your freshman year of college. Exclusive dating is a no-no at this point in your life for so many reasons that I can't begin to list them.

Trust me, there will be time for a girlfriend later when you havea better understanding of what you want in a person. Right now is the time for you to figure all that stuff out, and you won't be able to just dating one person.

When you want to be with someone exclusively you'll know it. Trust me.
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:55 PM    (permalink
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Listen to Tom Leykis.
Take me out with a bong rip!

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Old 05-03-2010, 05:38 PM    (permalink
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would you call me a narcissist if I told you that I'm essentially looking for the female version of myself?
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:32 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by VoteLynnSwan View Post
would you call me a narcissist if I told you that I'm essentially looking for the female version of myself?
Not at all. I think that's totally acceptable.
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Old 05-03-2010, 09:04 PM    (permalink
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Not at all. I think that's totally acceptable.
yea, I know there's nothing wrong with it, but it's definitely narcissistic of me. Not that I have a problem with that.
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Old 05-03-2010, 10:07 PM    (permalink
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Take me out with a bong rip!

"His fourth wife, Susan Drew Leykis, who first met Leykis at a Los Angeles Kings game,[3] filed a police report against him while they were married and living in Boston in 1993. On December 22 of that year, she alleged that Leykis assaulted and threatened to kill her during a fight after they returned home from a radio station Christmas party. He was subsequently charged with "felony assault and battery and threatening to commit a crime"; a police officer found bruises and scratches on the woman.[8] In March 1994, Leykis was sentenced to a year of probation and ordered to attend a domestic violence class. He completed both, and the charges were dropped, although Leykis did not admit guilt as part of the agreement. The couple has since divorced."

nice guy
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:12 PM    (permalink
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"His fourth wife, Susan Drew Leykis, who first met Leykis at a Los Angeles Kings game,[3] filed a police report against him while they were married and living in Boston in 1993. On December 22 of that year, she alleged that Leykis assaulted and threatened to kill her during a fight after they returned home from a radio station Christmas party. He was subsequently charged with "felony assault and battery and threatening to commit a crime"; a police officer found bruises and scratches on the woman.[8] In March 1994, Leykis was sentenced to a year of probation and ordered to attend a domestic violence class. He completed both, and the charges were dropped, although Leykis did not admit guilt as part of the agreement. The couple has since divorced."

nice guy
He's definitely not nice, but he does give some great advice. I don't necessarily agree with everything he says, and he's a bit over the top and over-generalizes too much but what talk show host doesn't?
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Old 05-04-2010, 04:18 PM    (permalink
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Yeah the thing with Leykis is that his advice will 100% get you laid... with crazy/stupid chicks There are definitely merits to tons of random, anonymous sex with hot (stupid) chicks but if you're looking for a real relationship for some reason you should look elsewhere. Tom's thing is that he wants to save men from getting married before they're 25, so he tells them how to manipulate the kind of women that will make for easy targets at that age. It's brilliant, if twisted.
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Old 05-04-2010, 07:38 PM    (permalink
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Just out of curiosity, and not to throw off the current conversation, but does anyone here cheat on their gf? Also, do you guys heavily frown on infidelity? I'm not sure if this is my first post or not, lol. I will find out once I click "post click reply" I can't wait to find out. Sorry, I digress.
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Old 05-04-2010, 07:40 PM    (permalink
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Just out of curiosity, and not to throw off the current conversation, but does anyone here cheat on their gf? Also, do you guys heavily frown on infidelity? I'm not sure if this is my first post or not, lol. I will find out once I click "post click reply" I can't wait to find out. Sorry, I digress.
not something I'd ever do or condone.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:04 PM    (permalink
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Interesting. I would like to share some of my relationship woes but am reluctant to due to fear of ridicule for my actions. Depends how judgmental you guys are. However, I doubt that many people give a **** anyway lol. I like hearing perspectives from strangers, not only my friends.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:04 PM    (permalink
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Just out of curiosity, and not to throw off the current conversation, but does anyone here cheat on their gf? Also, do you guys heavily frown on infidelity? I'm not sure if this is my first post or not, lol. I will find out once I click "post click reply" I can't wait to find out. Sorry, I digress.
It's your 12th post, and you even had one a couple months ago. Lol, bad memory?

And to your post, no I would never cheat on a gf. Mr. Daniels on the other hand, wants me to think otherwise.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:10 PM    (permalink
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Interesting. I would like to share some of my relationship woes but am reluctant to due to fear of ridicule for my actions. Depends how judgmental you guys are. However, I doubt that many people give a **** anyway lol. I like hearing perspectives from strangers, not only my friends.
I don't frown upon because I have friends that do it and they brag about it but I definitely don't condone it. I would never cheat.. might look once or twice but won't cheat.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:13 PM    (permalink
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Trust me, I don't brag about it at all. But by saying that, I just gave myself away.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:22 PM    (permalink
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Trust me, I don't brag about it at all. But by saying that, I just gave myself away.
What draws you to cheat?
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:34 PM    (permalink
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It has to be my personal insecurity. Trust me, I feel bad because she loves me to death. But it makes me feel better knowing she isn't the only way I can get laid. Then there's days where she makes me irate and I'm glad I do it..

I feel like a scumbag.
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:58 PM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckeyeDan17 View Post
It has to be my personal insecurity. Trust me, I feel bad because she loves me to death. But it makes me feel better knowing she isn't the only way I can get laid. Then there's days where she makes me irate and I'm glad I do it..

I feel like a scumbag.
Hey we all have our flaws. The real question is are you cheating on this girl with better looking girls? or dawgs that you for sure can get IT from?
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:01 PM    (permalink
BuckeyeDan17
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They have all been more attractive than her, I would never take a step down. They might be a *****, but more attractive nonetheless. Which would probably destroy her self-esteem even worse if she found out.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:03 PM    (permalink
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My take on it is that why be with somebody if you're going to cheat? Never been a cheater, and I don't condone it. However, I'm not one to judge either, as there's extenuating circumstances to almost every situation.

In regards to your situation however, it sounds like your reasons are entirely selfish. I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like you're too young to be in a relationship. So why are you with this girl? Since you admit that you cheat due to your own insecurities, I'd be willing to bet that you're in a relationship because of insecurities as well. It's probably comforting knowing that you have that sense of security and availability in somebody, and it scares you to think of not having the support.

Ultimately, though, it's not fair to her. If you really care about her you'll either tell her or break things off with her in an attempt to protect her from yourself (which will likely make you happier in the long run too - trust me dude, the bachelor lifestyle is a good one). Staying with her and continuing cheating on her or not telling her would just reinforce that you care more about your needs than hers, plus you'd be setting yourself up for a long, dramatic breakup. Easiest (and probably best for both involved) thing to do would be to just break it off and explain that you're just not at a point in your life where you can be in a committed, long term relationship and that you're breaking up with her before you do something stupid.
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