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Old 05-04-2010, 09:06 PM    (permalink
yourfavestoner
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They have all been more attractive than her, I would never take a step down. They might be a *****, but more attractive nonetheless. Which would probably destroy her self-esteem even worse if she found out.
See, there's one of those extenuating circumstances I'm talking about, and why I don't judge people.

I'm not saying that what you're doing is right, but insecurities will absolutely destroy a relationship. If she's got low self-esteem, she probably projects those insecurities onto you as well. It just doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, you've both got too much growing to do as people and don't know what you really want yet.

Ever seen the movie The Love Guru? It's a dumb Mike Myers movie, yeah, but the premise is ultimately correct: you can't make somebody else happy until you learn to make yourself happy. It doesn't sound like either one of you is happy with yourself, so you've got essentially no chance of making the other person happy. You may care about each other, even love each other. But you don't love yourselves enough to make it work.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:09 PM    (permalink
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I turn 21 in a few months, so it's not like it's a high schoo relationship if you thought I was some 17 year old. I think it also stems from if she cheated on me, at least I did it too. By the way, don't take my first sentence as hostility, that's not the case at all if you took it that way.

It's not the comfort, she is an amazing girl. If I were to be in a relationship, it's with her. But there comes the question: How in the hell do I know she's the only one I would like to be with? I feel like I'm highjacking the thread putting the attention on myself so if I'm being annoying or anything I'm sorry. Like I said, I love hearing every perspective I have out of respect for rationality and logic.

Anyway, you're right stoner about my selfishness.

I can't believe I'm saying this ****, lol. At least you guys are being cool about it, always enjoyed reading here and am glad I started actually posting.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:12 PM    (permalink
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I enjoy the relationship itself a lot though. I also enjoy being promiscuous at the same time which obviously entails I don't belong in a relationship. But dude, I go to IU Bloomington, one of the sluttiest campuses on the planet it's hard to turn it down sometimes lol
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:20 PM    (permalink
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I enjoy the relationship itself a lot though. I also enjoy being promiscuous at the same time which obviously entails I don't belong in a relationship. But dude, I go to IU Bloomington, one of the sluttiest campuses on the planet it's hard to turn it down sometimes lol
Just get out of the relationship. If you seriously care for the girl you have to, there is not a question. There is nothing wrong with being a bachelor and it is a lot easier to sleep at night if you can do it guilt free. I am sure its more adventuresome/dangerous to do it while in a relationship, but for me its not worth the hassle.

So does she ever accuse you of cheating and/or do you accuse her? How angry would you be if she was cheating on you?
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:22 PM    (permalink
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I turn 21 in a few months, so it's not like it's a high schoo relationship if you thought I was some 17 year old. I think it also stems from if she cheated on me, at least I did it too. By the way, don't take my first sentence as hostility, that's not the case at all if you took it that way.

It's not the comfort, she is an amazing girl. If I were to be in a relationship, it's with her. But there comes the question: How in the hell do I know she's the only one I would like to be with? I feel like I'm highjacking the thread putting the attention on myself so if I'm being annoying or anything I'm sorry. Like I said, I love hearing every perspective I have out of respect for rationality and logic.

Anyway, you're right stoner about my selfishness.

I can't believe I'm saying this ****, lol. At least you guys are being cool about it, always enjoyed reading here and am glad I started actually posting.
Here's the thing: how different are you now compared to a year ago? Or the year before that? Or even going all the way to when you were 16 or 17? That in itself is a reason why I'm generally against relationships before 25. You're still discovering who you are as a person. Part of that discovery process is figuring out what you like and don't like in the opposite sex, and, like everything else, this is bound to change. Sure, you may be attracted to certain type of look or personality, but men and women are so fundamentally different that it makes many, many levels of compatibility to make a relationship work.

Now I broke my own rule of the "no serious relations before 25 - just casual dating and sex" rule when I started dating my girlfriend about a year ago. It works though because we're both extremely independent and got to know each other VERY well before we started dating. It also helps that I lived an outrageously crazy lifestyle before meeting her and had done my share of sleeping around. She made me want to act different, and that's when I knew that I wanted to be with her.

Ultimately, everybody's different. But I really believe that when you know you want to be with somebody, you just know. Because she'll make you act different.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:23 PM    (permalink
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I can honestly say, it would probably piss me off a little, but nothing traumatic. I'm not a sensative person at all. As far as accusations go: She will casually ask me, "Have you ever cheated on me?" Yet she says she's confident I don't and never would.

Furthermore, I don't think she has cheated on me, nor do I think she would. That's just rhe way she is, but hell, I hide it, why couldn't she?
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:23 PM    (permalink
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I guess I can't relate because I'm 21 as well but I have a child already and pretty much am gonna marry the girl I'm with, so I'll leave you with this.

If your relationship is good but not good enough for you to feel that it's a sure thing, why not just end it? It would save a lot of drama and heartbreak for everyone involved.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:25 PM    (permalink
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Stoner, you're being incredibly insightful, thanks. I do want to stop cheating on her but I feel like I've tarnished the relationship too much already with the points you guys have emphasized. I don't know, looks like I have much to consider.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:48 PM    (permalink
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Now I'm no one to judge cause I myself have never been in a relationship. I just don't feel ready or mature enough for one yet. But I dont belive in cheating and I know I would never do it. If I dont feel fully satisfied with what I have then I'll let go instead of being unfaithful. In your case I guess my question is what is it about her that causes you to look towards others? And how long have you been with her?

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Old 05-04-2010, 10:22 PM    (permalink
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Ya know what.. I was thinking about this when I was at the gym. Would I ever cheat? I answered no earlier, I don't think it's fair to your partner. Well I was stretching, and there was this ace stretching right across from me. Of course I was eyeing her. I thought to myself, if this girl came up to me and asked to **** in the bathroom..Would I? My answer was hell yeah.

So I guess I can say I wouldn't go out of my way to cheat, but I would in some certain situations.
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:28 PM    (permalink
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Loose, we're going on two years soon. And what causes it? A lot of it is a particular insecurity that I mentioned. Also, my infidelity is a byproduct of impulsive moments, where I just can't say no to some pieces of ass that come across my way at parties every weekend. Like I said, it's IU, there are enough promiscuous women here to supply china and india.
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:45 PM    (permalink
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Loose, we're going on two years soon. And what causes it? A lot of it is a particular insecurity that I mentioned. Also, my infidelity is a byproduct of impulsive moments, where I just can't say no to some pieces of ass that come across my way at parties every weekend. Like I said, it's IU, there are enough promiscuous women here to supply china and india.
Is this relationship you're in long distance?
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:59 PM    (permalink
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Ya know what.. I was thinking about this when I was at the gym. Would I ever cheat? I answered no earlier, I don't think it's fair to your partner. Well I was stretching, and there was this ace stretching right across from me. Of course I was eyeing her. I thought to myself, if this girl came up to me and asked to **** in the bathroom..Would I? My answer was hell yeah.

So I guess I can say I wouldn't go out of my way to cheat, but I would in some certain situations.
Chris Rock put it best when he said that a guy is only as faithful as his options are. If a 10 came up to you and just hit on you non stop, 99% of males would bang her without hesitation. Thing is, that'll likely never happen to you or me, lol.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:15 PM    (permalink
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no stoner, we go to IU together. We met in the dorms last year, she lived 7 floors below me.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:16 PM    (permalink
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Loose, we're going on two years soon. And what causes it? A lot of it is a particular insecurity that I mentioned. Also, my infidelity is a byproduct of impulsive moments, where I just can't say no to some pieces of ass that come across my way at parties every weekend. Like I said, it's IU, there are enough promiscuous women here to supply china and india.
Well, I can confirm that IU has depositories everywhere, as I go there too.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:21 PM    (permalink
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Did you make it through little 5 without a ticket?
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:47 PM    (permalink
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Did you make it through little 5 without a ticket?
Yeah, I went out on Thursday to smallwood which was weird as hell and then I dislocated my knee playing basketball on Friday so my little five went down the drain in a second.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:54 PM    (permalink
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**** that sucks, at least you didn't get raped by your econ final liike I did. Thursday I'm done then on with ******* re-taking econ this summer.
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Old 05-05-2010, 12:20 AM    (permalink
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**** that sucks, at least you didn't get raped by your econ final liike I did. Thursday I'm done then on with ******* re-taking econ this summer.
yea it capped off a crap semester nicely, I'm done thursday too but it can't come fast enough.
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Old 05-05-2010, 03:19 AM    (permalink
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So what do you say to a girl when she says "I love you."...

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Old 05-05-2010, 03:23 AM    (permalink
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So what do you say to a girl when she says "I love you."...

"I know"

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Old 05-05-2010, 03:51 AM    (permalink
descendency
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So what do you say to a girl when she says "I love you."...

"Did you know 42% of panda's suffer from chronic indigestion?"
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Old 05-05-2010, 07:17 AM    (permalink
Brent
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So what do you say to a girl when she says "I love you."...

Slowly cut off all communication with her.
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Old 05-05-2010, 10:42 AM    (permalink
BuckeyeDan17
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Pull an Eric from that 70s show and say "I love...cake"
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Old 05-05-2010, 11:08 AM    (permalink
YAYareaRB
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Originally Posted by kalbears13 View Post
So what do you say to a girl when she says "I love you."...

I need some details here.

1 Do you like her?
2 Does she like you?
3 Friends say I love you all the time (even my guy friends lol) What does she mean?
4 Is she hot?
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