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Old 07-12-2010, 08:32 AM    (permalink
Caddy
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hey guys, assuming you want to be friends with an ex-girlfriend. how do you do it?
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Old 07-12-2010, 09:20 AM    (permalink
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why would you want to do that?
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:31 AM    (permalink
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If you want to be friends with your ex, it's for one (or more) of several reasons:

1. You want her back
2. You think you like having her around because she's a cool chick and all, but subconsciously, you want her back.
3. You want to keep her under your thumb because you have issues letting go and you probably want her back.
4. You want to keep her under your thumb to keep her from dating someone else. Not because you want her, but because you don't want her with someone else.
5. You're a wuss, she broke your heart and offered you friendship. You want to try to make it work as her friend because you want her back.
6. You're genuinely over her and want her in your life, but you don't see the inevitable problems that will come with this.

Save yourself the time and move on and let go.
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:37 AM    (permalink
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From experience. I'm friends with a lot of my ex girlfriends and I can't think of one that I dont want back lol
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Old 07-12-2010, 12:16 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
If you want to be friends with your ex, it's for one (or more) of several reasons:

1. You want her back
2. You think you like having her around because she's a cool chick and all, but subconsciously, you want her back.
3. You want to keep her under your thumb because you have issues letting go and you probably want her back.
4. You want to keep her under your thumb to keep her from dating someone else. Not because you want her, but because you don't want her with someone else.
5. You're a wuss, she broke your heart and offered you friendship. You want to try to make it work as her friend because you want her back.
6. You're genuinely over her and want her in your life, but you don't see the inevitable problems that will come with this.

Save yourself the time and move on and let go.
Just to add on:

I highly doubt she would try to be friends so she wouldn't meet you halfway. I'm going to assume you are under 25, and in that age group women are pussies and can't handle situations that need maturity.

You don't want to try and be friends and go 50% and get let down. It just gives her power over you. It shows you still care and that is all she needs to know.

I see one of the girls I used to be into in three years ago once in a while and I wouldn't even call us friends because that implies I respect her. It isn't really a grudge I just find her pretty annoying. Give it a month or two at least, let the spell wear off and see how much of her ******** you were turning into rainbows and see if she is still worth it.

The one thing you can rely on with break ups is that it doesn't matter what exactly happened so much as what you convince yourself of. This can have positive outcomes and negative outcomes.

You can either say "she wasn't that great/stupid/drama" and then move on quickly or you can spin it the opposite way and get oneitis and turn into a stalker (where she was the one and you glorify everything about her)
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Old 07-12-2010, 04:17 PM    (permalink
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hey guys, assuming you want to be friends with an ex-girlfriend. how do you do it?
What terms are you and your ex on?

If she cheated on you throw her to curb. Most times its not worth the time to try and have a friendship with a girl after you dated her and will likely cause problems in your future relationships.
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Old 07-12-2010, 04:32 PM    (permalink
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hey guys, assuming you want to be friends with an ex-girlfriend. how do you do it?
Booty Call?
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Old 07-12-2010, 06:30 PM    (permalink
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hey guys, assuming you want to be friends with an ex-girlfriend. how do you do it?
You just do it. If it's too hard to do it then stop, it's very likely not worth it.
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:07 AM    (permalink
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I'm telling you that you shouldn't do this, but no one ever listens to this kind of advice. It will likely end badly. Just saying.
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:37 AM    (permalink
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I'm telling you that you shouldn't do this, but no one ever listens to this kind of advice. It will likely end badly. Just saying.
Yeah, pretty much.
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Old 07-13-2010, 02:02 PM    (permalink
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I'm telling you that you shouldn't do this, but no one ever listens to this kind of advice. It will likely end badly. Just saying.
Let him play with acid, that **** will **** him up lol. Exs are exs for a reason an when that new douchebag loser of a ****** comes around with your ex, youre gunna start judging and then what? You'll start drama or she will or blah. Its not worth it, on to the next one.
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Old 07-13-2010, 02:05 PM    (permalink
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Yeah, when I was dumped a couple years back after a rather lengthy relationship, I took the "pretend she died" approach: removed all traces of her from my life and (luckily) we didnt have many common friends, so I just stopped talking to the ones we had. Looking back, it made moving on so ******* easy... well that and being in college doesnt hurt.
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Old 07-13-2010, 02:11 PM    (permalink
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The best way to get over a chick is to climb on another one.
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Old 07-13-2010, 03:07 PM    (permalink
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The best way to get over a chick is to climb on another one.
with a boner?
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Old 07-13-2010, 03:55 PM    (permalink
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with a boner?
no, literally climb her like a ******* mountain. you know the tubby bitches I am referring to.
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Old 07-13-2010, 03:59 PM    (permalink
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Yeah, when I was dumped a couple years back after a rather lengthy relationship, I took the "pretend she died" approach: removed all traces of her from my life and (luckily) we didnt have many common friends, so I just stopped talking to the ones we had. Looking back, it made moving on so ******* easy... well that and being in college doesnt hurt.
I took the opposite approach when my ex and I broke up after almost 6 years. She was overseas for work for 6 months, which made life easier. When she came back, I let her in a little bit, then we'd backslide and bang for a little, then not. Then she played on my "rescue girls" tendencies and lied about being sexually assaulted. I fell for it, and we started dating again, but kind of behind the scenes. Eventually, she pushed to get back together, and I told her I was just using her until something better came along. She ended up going out with a mutual acquaintance of ours, and they are still dating.

That incident really screwed me up, but it was my fault. I went into therapy, got over it, figured out what I was really looking for, and I ended up meeting my current gf in January. I am infinitely more happy with her than I ever was with my ex. I very much love this new girl and am thinking ring in the future.
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Old 07-13-2010, 04:11 PM    (permalink
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I took the opposite approach when my ex and I broke up after almost 6 years.
I think each person just needs to know their best way of dealing with things. At the time, my roommate had, months prior, been dumped by a girl he dated for a long time; he had a lot of trouble getting over it because, well, he couldn't accept it.

I understood, even without the example of my roommate, that if a girl dumps you, then it's over. Don't bother wasting more time. Cry, get pissed, or whatever it is one needs to do to get past the emotional toll, and ******* move on. And finding something cathartic to do is also a plus.
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Old 07-13-2010, 09:55 PM    (permalink
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What terms are you and your ex on?

If she cheated on you throw her to curb. Most times its not worth the time to try and have a friendship with a girl after you dated her and will likely cause problems in your future relationships.
We're on good terms. Broken up for necessity and there really is no chance of us getting back together due to reasons out of both of our control so it's kind of a weird situation.

She's a cool girl though so I'd like to keep her in my life in some capacity. We'll see how it works out I guess.
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Old 07-13-2010, 09:58 PM    (permalink
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If you want to be friends with your ex, it's for one (or more) of several reasons:

1. You want her back
2. You think you like having her around because she's a cool chick and all, but subconsciously, you want her back.
3. You want to keep her under your thumb because you have issues letting go and you probably want her back.
4. You want to keep her under your thumb to keep her from dating someone else. Not because you want her, but because you don't want her with someone else.
5. You're a wuss, she broke your heart and offered you friendship. You want to try to make it work as her friend because you want her back.
6. You're genuinely over her and want her in your life, but you don't see the inevitable problems that will come with this.

Save yourself the time and move on and let go.
what if you can turn her into a **** buddy?
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:10 PM    (permalink
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Not that anyone is in this position that is posting right now but its just something I wish someone had knocked into my head repeatedly a while back. See when you get dumped you gotta do something with all that energy you are using thinking about her and do something to better yourself.

I have for the most part been a person who worked out frequently, dropping it here and there to accomodate school. But when I got dumped I started working out harder than ever and really see what it takes to get results now. Sometimes if I hit that "wall" I would just get pissed and go harder. You will start to feel better, its impossible not to if you keep up with it and improve.

It doesn't have to be working out though you could also practice music, volunteer anything that gives you personal accomplishment and meeting new people is a huge plus.

It sounds so obvious, but when you are in that post-dump state of mind you overlook those things.
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:14 PM    (permalink
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MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.MetSox17 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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We're on good terms. Broken up for necessity and there really is no chance of us getting back together due to reasons out of both of our control so it's kind of a weird situation.

She's a cool girl though so I'd like to keep her in my life in some capacity. We'll see how it works out I guess.
If you know that things between you all will never work out, i'd say keep it at a distance. Me and my ex had a mutual breakup and it dragged on for years because we stayed friends and would still see/sleep with each other. It wasn't good. We knew by year two that it wasn't gonna work out and we didn't start dating other people again until two more years after that. It's bad business. Talk to her, and stay in touch, but don't hang out or spend time with each other, it's not gonna do any good.
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Old 07-13-2010, 10:33 PM    (permalink
Caddy
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Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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If you know that things between you all will never work out, i'd say keep it at a distance. Me and my ex had a mutual breakup and it dragged on for years because we stayed friends and would still see/sleep with each other. It wasn't good. We knew by year two that it wasn't gonna work out and we didn't start dating other people again until two more years after that. It's bad business. Talk to her, and stay in touch, but don't hang out or spend time with each other, it's not gonna do any good.
Well we live in different cities so it's not a huge problem. We only talk like once a week any way.

I just wanted too see how other people have treated the whole situation.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:00 AM    (permalink
KobeBryant833
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KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.KobeBryant833 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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We're on good terms. Broken up for necessity and there really is no chance of us getting back together due to reasons out of both of our control so it's kind of a weird situation.

She's a cool girl though so I'd like to keep her in my life in some capacity. We'll see how it works out I guess.
You got to do whatever works for you.

I was just in a relationship for a year and she cheated on me. I tried to make it work then, i told her to **** off and haven't talked to her since, and don't plan on it. I've had the best summer since i threw her out of my life.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:09 AM    (permalink
Caddy
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Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Caddy is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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You got to do whatever works for you.

I was just in a relationship for a year and she cheated on me. I tried to make it work then, i told her to **** off and haven't talked to her since, and don't plan on it. I've had the best summer since i threw her out of my life.
Props to you for that. Exactly what she deserves.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:11 AM    (permalink
KobeBryant833
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Props to you for that. Exactly what she deserves.
She tried to guilt me to stay with her by telling me i did nothing wrong and it had nothing to do with me. I wish i could've punched her.... Plus she was mormon wtf...
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