Draft Countdown Forums

Go Back   Draft Countdown Forums > The Locker Room > Off Topic

Off Topic Almost Anything Goes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-26-2010, 05:04 PM    (permalink
BigDawg819
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: River of Deceit
Posts: 10,591
Reputation: 210630
BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by yourfavestoner View Post
Yup, you've got storm clouds on the horizon. Truth be told, the only reason I think you're even with her is because you've developed a dependency on her through your tough time. She sounds boring, stupid (having no thoughts on anything? Come on...), lacks any sort of common sense or motivation, and there seems to be little to no communication between you two. Stop putting the ***** on a pedastal, and flip the tables and break up with her before she does it to you. Because I guarantee that's what you're in for after her being friends who don't approve of your relationship for four days with no contact from you.
She's not boring, I should clarify that those things have been commonplace for about the last month. There are outside factors causing her immense stress, such as her parents revealing to her that she now bears the financial burden entirely for her remaining two years of college which was a complete reversal thrown her way at the last minute aka June. Not to mention her disease causes her a lot of stress, especially with the symptoms that occur at random times.

By no means am I excusing her actions and behavior, but at the same time I can't exactly ignore the fact she has legitimate reasons and I, myself, add to the burden with my own issues. Plus you can add to the mix that she has vehemently argued with her friends about staying out of the relationship. This trip was a end of summer blow out coupled with her bestfriend's birthday so I knew quite well that it was coming.


And again I am a manic depressive. I don't hide from that fact. I make issues out of nothing, focus on the negative in almost every situation including sports which has lead to numerous hostilities on this board, am cynical to the core, and am very critical towards her without filter. The not talking was due to her being in the mountains without reception, but then again its 5pm here and I still have no clue whats going on.
__________________

Magical sig by OSUGiants

SSAEL....... its a new revolution!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Job View Post
On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
Quote:
Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
BigDawg819 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 06:47 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
Icon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Uptown
Posts: 16,667
Reputation: 320894
Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwagU View Post
Text her with some casual stuff, and feel her out. You don't wanna be to forward with a call, just makes you look like you have been thinking about her all week.
this is probably what i am going to do. Damn that is good logic
Vikes99ej is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 07:12 PM    (permalink
Brent
TomTom Out
Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 26,019
Reputation: 4829675
Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

I still believe you should not text her. Maybe next week, but this week, you should go out and meet some new tail.
__________________

Pick the Winners Champion 2008 | 2011
Brent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 07:49 PM    (permalink
ATLDirtyBirds
Legend
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 20,916
Reputation: 1423028
ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent View Post
I still believe you should not text her. Maybe next week, but this week, you should go out and meet some new tail.

I concur. Next party, meet some new girls. If you want to invite her to the party after that, go for it.
__________________
ATLDirtyBirds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 08:01 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
Icon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Uptown
Posts: 16,667
Reputation: 320894
Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

What if I text her and still go after girls at parties/bars whatever? That's kind of what I did last Friday.

I guess I am just impatient. Haven't been in this situation too often, and waiting like two weeks to talk to a girl you are interested in just seems like waiting for another dude to jump in.

Regardless, I'm gonna talk to some females this weekend.
Vikes99ej is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 08:08 PM    (permalink
ATLDirtyBirds
Legend
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 20,916
Reputation: 1423028
ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ATLDirtyBirds is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

What are you really going to gain from texting her and not asking her to go out anywhere or anything like that? I don't know about two weeks, but maybe after this weekend.
__________________
ATLDirtyBirds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 08:14 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
Icon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Uptown
Posts: 16,667
Reputation: 320894
Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ATLDirtyBirds View Post
What are you really going to gain from texting her and not asking her to go out anywhere or anything like that? I don't know about two weeks, but maybe after this weekend.
Well, I was planning on starting to text her, and then maybe asking her if she wanted to hang out this weekend or do something. I wasn't gonna just BS with her.

I might just end up waiting until after this weekend, and just see what happens.
Vikes99ej is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 11:12 PM    (permalink
fischbowl
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: If It's Too Loud, Turn It Down
Posts: 11,398
Reputation: 1471369
fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.fischbowl is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDawg819 View Post
fisch, truly you are a brotha from a different motha. We are very similar in so many ways its troubling, and the fact that we don't communicate more is tragedy that I hope soon to rectify.

Regardless, I feel your pain in the "relationship" because I, myself, am in a similar boat in my current relationship. We've been together for 8 months and at casual glance things are going well. That being said my own anxieties and insecurities have cast the luminous doubt and clouds over the relationship. We see each other at minimum once a week, so that differs from your situation but even then that is not enough. She has no energy it seems around me, no interest in anything except lounging around and yet will complain that we don't do anything. She never is engaged in any conversation we have, with the exception of arguing, and then its not exactly the type of communication that is productive. I can be in the same room as her and yet feel 500 miles away.

I gave up my heavy drinking, it was my downfall and only made my situation in life worse. I'm a diagnosed manic depressive, my anxiety is through the roof more times then not, I haven't worked in months, a combination of the anxiety coupled with the recession, and the only vice that was effective in taking the edge off was smoking cigarettes which I gave up because of lack of funds, health benefits, and yes for her due to her Crohn's disease.

She went away on a camping trip 4 days ago and is returning at some point today, yet we haven't talked in any of that time due to no reception in the mountains and I am at my wits end. We had an argument prior to her departure, and while time allows her to move on past that and not hold a grudge, I can't help but think there is trouble amidst.

She is not exactly an open person, she holds everything within, she says its a combination of not being able to collect her thoughts proper and/or having no thoughts on basically any topic. She stresses about many of life situations, yet does nothing productive to get a handle on things in her control. Her friends are not supportive of the relationship at all, and coincidentally she has spent the last four days with the exact friends who harp on her about us being together.

Sorry that I turned this reply into my own current issues, that was not my intent. For you brotha, all I can say is that if you feel in your heart its worth it then make it happen. Love, in its purest form, is in fact blind. You are witty, charming, and funny and those items are what is indeed all that matter in matters of the heart.

I don't know what else to say, do, ask, or vent about. Anything in response will and would be appreciated.


Sincerely,


A lost soul in a sea of misery and despair
Our situations are most definitely eerily similar. Those god damn Orioles did this to us!

The drinking for me as well needs to be controlled. It's gotten out of hand for me. As if living in New York isn't expensive enough already, I can't afford the habit as its probably doubled my expenses, as the prices for alcohol here is exorbitant as well as cigarettes being $14.00 a pack. I know myself that I'm never going to stop unless I'm forced to. I like it too much.

I think in terms of your relationship, it seems obvious that her other issues have superseded the partnership as a whole. She's got a lot going on and most certainly the influence of her friends is just another distraction. How did her return from camping go?

If there is anything I can do, just let me know. Really, don't hesitate.
__________________



<+fenikz> "**** the Police, ride my fischstache bitches"
fischbowl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 11:14 PM    (permalink
JeffSamardzijaIRISH
Pro Bowler
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,587
Reputation: 115700
JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vikes99ej View Post
Well, I was planning on starting to text her, and then maybe asking her if she wanted to hang out this weekend or do something. I wasn't gonna just BS with her.

I might just end up waiting until after this weekend, and just see what happens.
Why not text her? What if a week later she just loses her interest? A week is way too long and you need to have some basic convo with her via phone or text before really asking her out.
__________________
JeffSamardzijaIRISH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 11:25 PM    (permalink
BigDawg819
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: River of Deceit
Posts: 10,591
Reputation: 210630
BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fischbowl View Post
Our situations are most definitely eerily similar. Those god damn Orioles did this to us!

The drinking for me as well needs to be controlled. It's gotten out of hand for me. As if living in New York isn't expensive enough already, I can't afford the habit as its probably doubled my expenses, as the prices for alcohol here is exorbitant as well as cigarettes being $14.00 a pack. I know myself that I'm never going to stop unless I'm forced to. I like it too much.

I think in terms of your relationship, it seems obvious that her other issues have superseded the partnership as a whole. She's got a lot going on and most certainly the influence of her friends is just another distraction. How did her return from camping go?

If there is anything I can do, just let me know. Really, don't hesitate.
We'll definitely talk, whenever's clever as they say.

Actually she got back from camping and after unpacking, we spent the last 2 and a half hours talking about the relationship. She agreed that there are issues, but more importantly agreed that she hasn't been thinking nor acting appropiately. We going to hang out tomorrow all day and have agreed to further talk about the relationship but more importantly to both work harder to make things better.








EDIT: And I agree that the O's are to blame, but we have to figure that its in MacPhail's plan so we gotta keep the faith once again brotha!
__________________

Magical sig by OSUGiants

SSAEL....... its a new revolution!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Job View Post
On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
Quote:
Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
BigDawg819 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 07:43 AM    (permalink
Brent
TomTom Out
Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 26,019
Reputation: 4829675
Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Brent is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vikes99ej View Post
Well, I was planning on starting to text her, and then maybe asking her if she wanted to hang out this weekend or do something. I wasn't gonna just BS with her.

I might just end up waiting until after this weekend, and just see what happens.
if you are going to bother texting her to see if she wants to hang out, dont ask her, just say something like, "come over and hang out" dont phrase it as a question. speak with conviction.
__________________

Pick the Winners Champion 2008 | 2011
Brent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 09:00 AM    (permalink
killxswitch
Mage Bros
All-Pro
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 8,754
Reputation: 2532141
killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

And don't invite her to watch 2.5 Men because that show sucks.
__________________

i done stole dis sig
killxswitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 09:21 AM    (permalink
B-Dawk
Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: UCONN
Posts: 1,919
Reputation: 33913
B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.B-Dawk is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

i hate females, that is all
__________________


The way it is

GamerTag : GrubbyPaws (Halo 3, NCAA 09, Madden 09)
B-Dawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 09:58 AM    (permalink
bsaza2358
Arch-Bishop
Icon
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,212
Reputation: 234557
bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fischbowl View Post
OK, just for starters, I'd like to make everyone who reads this post privy to the fact that **** will get real in the following paragraphs. The anonymity of the boards is a true sanctuary for discussion like this and for those of you who know me outside SWDC, please promise to respect the fact that I don't want these feelings that I will express to be made public knowledge amongst my peers. Now, I know that this first paragraph makes it seem as if trouble is afoot, however, what will be expressed is strictly personal feelings.

Now, you know me. I'm Fischbowl. For those of you who don't, you should. I've been here five years. My giant reputation says people know me. To say the least I'm an individual, and the sense of myself is among the most important things to me. I am a young adult who lives in New York and am from Buffalo. I have a cat. I have a lot of good friends, some of who I trust in divulging this information to. I have a great job in my very specific chosen field. I also do stand-up and sketch comedy. I am a academic who attends a very prestigious university. I'm not one to enjoy a sober lifestyle. I smoke weed often and am considered a textbook alcoholic. I have a history of high anxiety. I have what I am afraid to call a "girlfriend", a girl who happens to be 500 miles away from me at most times and is in a different country. She works as a stripper, a profession which I've looked past. I like her a lot.

Firstly, I'm having trouble with giving her the title of a girlfriend. Due to our respective locations, we rarely see each other. We talk at length about every other day. I'm never sure whether or not she has the same feelings for me as I do for her, although her words ring sincere. We haven't consummated the relationship, mostly because I feel it would objectify her. It's difficult to say we're dating or even seeing each other, since we're not doing either. I went home this past weekend for three days and spent a full day with her. I wish I could have spent more time with her. It was really pleasant, a break from the rampant drinking I did the rest of the weekend. We went to the lake and the race track. It was probably one of the best days in recent memory. I really enjoy the time we spend together, there's just not enough of it.

Secondly, is her profession. I've grown to look the other way myself. It's her job, she's hot, she needs the money. She took advantage of a good situation, not necessarily an admirable situation, but a smart move on her part nonetheless. She works at an upscale club and the pay is pretty phenomenal. I don't blame her for that choice in her life. The problem with her profession lies with my family and friends. Those who have met her, love her, and those who haven't stereotype her. Among those is my mom, who I'm very close to. Quoting the first thing she said to me when I told her about the relationship was, "Don't get venereal disease". Those words were not sarcastic or in jest. I hate to say it, but I'm afraid my mom feels I made a bad decision by seeing her and is disappointed in me. My friends, because of her work, don’t think she’s real enough or good for me. I don’t like her because she works as a stripper. I derive no fascination from the fact that her job is erotic. However, all my friends believe that this is the only true reason that I'm with her. Since we're almost never together and I can't introduce her personally, how can I convince them that she really is a good person and that I truly care for the person, not the stripper?

Thirdly, is that I naturally feel inadequate. She's hot, too hot of a girl to be with me. I'm normal looking. I'm essentially a nerd. Girls are not interested in things I like. I have an extensive knowledge of baseball and I make my living off the sport. I am too old of a personality to be my age. I do things old people do like drink like classy liquor and smoke a pipe. I'm not an ideal mate for hot girls I'm trying to have sex with. She's opposite what I am. She's typical, gorgeous. What does she see in me? What separates her from the pack?

I'll leave it at this for now, there was more, this is a start though.
Fisch, sorry to hear that you’re having these troubles. Let me try to review your big items in 3 separate paragraphs…

If you’re not hitting it, she’s not your girlfriend. I’m not sure what kind of relationship you’re in, but it doesn’t feel like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. When you’re in a relationship, you have sex or at least imply that you want to have sex. Has she offered you, and you’ve rejected her? Do you both have an agreement to not have sex for a given period of time? I’m just confused as to why you’re objectifying this woman when you aren’t getting the sex. I disagree with your assessment that you won’t bang her because you don’t want to objectify her. There is something related to your guilt over your family and friends, plus your feelings of inadequacy. You are objectifying her by not having sex with her. You have created some sort of illusion of what she is, and you are afraid to ruin that because it is safer to just keep it more platonic and not take the relationship to that next level. You are torturing yourself because you are scared of getting hurt. You are stuck in a situation that isn’t healthy for either of you because you are afraid to let go and give yourself the potential to get crushed by this girl.

In terms of your family and friends, I think they’re equally concerned about the situation you’re putting yourself in as they are with her profession. If you read what you wrote about this girl, you can see it sounds like she’s either not real, is playing you, or you have convinced yourself that she is your gf or partner or whatever to avoid a real relationship. Based on what you are saying, it sounds like there is mutual affection and caring, but even you would admit that there is some dysfunction here. To your family and friends, it looks like you’re unhappy with a situation, yet you’re not doing anything to fix it. It sounds like you’re in an unhealthy “relationship” with a woman who many of them haven’t met. In a way, you’re using that disapproval to keep yourself in the status quo: No sex, no real commitment, no movement from the status quo. The whole family/friends thing is just an excuse to not act. “My family and friends might not approve, so I’m going to continue to not have sex with her or introduce her to everyone or see her more, etc.” Drop that act. If she was really important to you, you would see her more, and you definitely would have introduced her to your mom and the rest of your family. I think you are using that as a crutch to prevent yourself from changing

That being said, I’m not sure why she’s with you either. What is she getting out of this relationship? Why is she attracted to someone who admits he has some rather serious problems, perhaps including addiction and depression? What does she want from you? What do you do for her that others can’t do? Forget the physical attractiveness thing. People have a “type”. My type used to be crazy, codependent, and needy. I have since moved on. I know girls who love shorter, balding guys for some reason (daddy issues?). Don’t worry so much about whether or not she’s out of your league. In fact, you should be bragging about this! It is natural to be intimidated by a situation, but you need to get over it. You are not having sex with her because you have it built up in your mind so much that no reality could possibly fulfill it. You are not having sex with her because that would make everything “real”. You are not having sex with her because you don’t want to get hurt. You are not having sex with her because you are deathly afraid of underperforming, then she’ll leave you over that. Trust me… if she is still there now, and she still wants what you want, she’s probably not going anywhere.


I think you have to sit down and really think about some things. First, what is it about her that you like? Is it that she enables things about you? Is this relationship real? Is it going anywhere? Really get to the bottom of why you won’t consummate the relationship. Those issues are certainly pressing.

Again, sorry that you’re not doing well. If you invest and believe in yourself, I think things can improve. However, you need to stop complaining and start soul searching to help get yourself back on track. We can commiserate and give advice, but things won’t change and get better until you decide you’re ready to change and get better.
__________________



I am "America's Poster"... http://www.nfldraftcountdown.com/for...9&postcount=25

bsaza2358 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 10:03 AM    (permalink
bsaza2358
Arch-Bishop
Icon
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,212
Reputation: 234557
bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.bsaza2358 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDawg819 View Post
Actually she got back from camping and after unpacking, we spent the last 2 and a half hours talking about the relationship. She agreed that there are issues, but more importantly agreed that she hasn't been thinking nor acting appropiately. We going to hang out tomorrow all day and have agreed to further talk about the relationship but more importantly to both work harder to make things better.
BigDawg, if you can afford it, I think you guys should invest in some couples therapy if you think it is worth saving the relationship. Both of you are at fault for creating this status quo, and both of you need to invest your energies in change. Please be aware that you are complicit in this situation, and you need to adjust yourself. It is not all about her. A professional mediator can help you both with this.
__________________



I am "America's Poster"... http://www.nfldraftcountdown.com/for...9&postcount=25

bsaza2358 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 10:23 AM    (permalink
BigDawg819
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: River of Deceit
Posts: 10,591
Reputation: 210630
BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.BigDawg819 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
BigDawg, if you can afford it, I think you guys should invest in some couples therapy if you think it is worth saving the relationship. Both of you are at fault for creating this status quo, and both of you need to invest your energies in change. Please be aware that you are complicit in this situation, and you need to adjust yourself. It is not all about her. A professional mediator can help you both with this.
Appreciate the advice and will definitely take the counseling into advisement. I have openly accepted that I am as much to blame for things as she is and we seem to be on the same page. Hopefully thinks continue to progress and we just chalk this up to a rough patch.
__________________

Magical sig by OSUGiants

SSAEL....... its a new revolution!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Job View Post
On another note, Nicklas Backstrom is amazingly good.
Quote:
Meanwhile, in hockey the other night, the Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger gets hit with a stick, loses EIGHT teeth, has an instant root canal in the locker room, comes back out and PLAYS and never says boo.

So new rule, NBA: Unless you have a root canal at halftime, SHUT UP AND PLAY!
BigDawg819 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 10:36 AM    (permalink
killxswitch
Mage Bros
All-Pro
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 8,754
Reputation: 2532141
killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

BD, this is coming from a married guy, 5 years this past July. Things like this don't get easier when you get married. I've never thought that counseling is appropriate if you're just dating. If it comes to that, break up. There are billions of women on this planet. Chances are you can find one similar to this girl that won't require a mediator. Just my opinion. But until you make it official I don't think it's worth it to work that hard at it. Good luck.
__________________

i done stole dis sig
killxswitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 12:51 PM    (permalink
Bengalsrz
Pro Bowler
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 2,100
Reputation: 16647
Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Bengalsrz is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

So I got a bit of a problem here.

Back in decemberish, I met this girl. Really cute, awesome personality, etc. We danced for a while and overall had a pretty good connection. Nothing big though. The next time I saw her was about a month ago, but before I go on about this, theres a pretty large complication.

I also met her best friend a few months ago. She seemed really into me really quickly. Like I've never seen a girl chase a dude so aggressively before. Anyways, I was never really attracted to her, and stupidly, I might have accidentally lead her on a bit. She got really annoying and was texting me every minute of the day, visiting me at work (retail, nothing serious), etc. So I kinda starting being a dick, ignoring texts, responding rudely, basically giving every hint I could without just straight up telling her I wasn't into her. So that tailed off and she was probably a little upset.

I ran into the girl I was talking about in the beginning a few times in the moths. Once at a party and I saw her again just a few days ago at the mall. We hugged and talked for a little while, and I'm starting to think I wanna pursue it.

Now the obvious problem is what went on with me and her best friend.

Should this be an issue? Is it worth going for? Opinions please.
__________________

^Thanks BK!
Bengalsrz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 03:13 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
Icon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Uptown
Posts: 16,667
Reputation: 320894
Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by killxswitch View Post
And don't invite her to watch 2.5 Men because that show sucks.
Y u GOT 2 BE HATIN' ON MY SHOW I LUV IT SO MUCH Y NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME
Vikes99ej is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 03:32 PM    (permalink
killxswitch
Mage Bros
All-Pro
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 8,754
Reputation: 2532141
killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.killxswitch is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bengalsrz View Post
So I got a bit of a problem here.

Back in decemberish, I met this girl. Really cute, awesome personality, etc. We danced for a while and overall had a pretty good connection. Nothing big though. The next time I saw her was about a month ago, but before I go on about this, theres a pretty large complication.

I also met her best friend a few months ago. She seemed really into me really quickly. Like I've never seen a girl chase a dude so aggressively before. Anyways, I was never really attracted to her, and stupidly, I might have accidentally lead her on a bit. She got really annoying and was texting me every minute of the day, visiting me at work (retail, nothing serious), etc. So I kinda starting being a dick, ignoring texts, responding rudely, basically giving every hint I could without just straight up telling her I wasn't into her. So that tailed off and she was probably a little upset.

I ran into the girl I was talking about in the beginning a few times in the moths. Once at a party and I saw her again just a few days ago at the mall. We hugged and talked for a little while, and I'm starting to think I wanna pursue it.

Now the obvious problem is what went on with me and her best friend.

Should this be an issue? Is it worth going for? Opinions please.
I wouldn't bring it up but if she does just tell her you knew she liked you but weren't interested so you were as nice as you could be. I don't think it needs to be a problem if you are clear about it. Though you might leave out the part about leading her on and just make it clear you were being nice but were never interested.
__________________

i done stole dis sig
killxswitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 06:31 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
Icon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Uptown
Posts: 16,667
Reputation: 320894
Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Vikes99ej is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Yeah, that whole "text her a little bit, don't talk to her at all, and then text her a week later" thing hasn't work for me. Texted her earlier today and response. I'm sure all you are alpha as **** bros are used to girls texting you up the ass and wanting your ****, but it looks like I ****** up this situation somewhere along the road. This whole cat and mouse mind game girl **** is ******* stupid. There is no PUA game, and I don't feel like doing this "make her want you" bull ****. If I meet a girl and I sense interest, I'm going to ask her out two days later. I'm just going to be myself and go with my instincts from now on.
Vikes99ej is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 06:37 PM    (permalink
ccB
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: I got 99 cookies because a ***** ate one
Posts: 11,967
Reputation: 571908
ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

My rule for texting is....I'll text first to initiate a convo/interaction, but if I do that, I wait for them to text first and initiate the next convo/interaction, until I fully understand what kind of relationship there is between the two of us, whether it's just friends, or mutual interest.

It's times like these being a stoner and going after stoner chicks comes in handy because, "Hey let's smoke" is the ultimate opening line.
__________________

Last edited by ccB : 08-27-2010 at 06:39 PM.
ccB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 06:53 PM    (permalink
molenguinurtle
Rookie
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 236
Reputation: 52365
molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.molenguinurtle is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charm City Byrdgang View Post
My rule for texting is....I'll text first to initiate a convo/interaction, but if I do that, I wait for them to text first and initiate the next convo/interaction, until I fully understand what kind of relationship there is between the two of us, whether it's just friends, or mutual interest.
This. So much this.
__________________
I don't really have anything to say for my sig.
molenguinurtle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 06:58 PM    (permalink
ccB
All-NFLDC
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: I got 99 cookies because a ***** ate one
Posts: 11,967
Reputation: 571908
ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.ccB is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by molenguinurtle View Post
This. So much this.
also...don't send two unanswered texts in a row.
__________________
ccB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 07:04 PM    (permalink
kalbears13
Pro Bowler
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy
Posts: 4,135
Reputation: 1639594
kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.kalbears13 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charm City Byrdgang View Post
also...don't send two unanswered texts in a row.
and every once in a while take 20 minutes to an hour to respond. and smileys and winks.
__________________
kalbears13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.