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Old 09-29-2010, 02:40 PM    (permalink
terribletowel39
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Thanks. Yeah, I remember. When SG5 was around. haha
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Old 09-29-2010, 03:13 PM    (permalink
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I got engaged this past weekend. Been together for nearly 2 years. We have a kid together. I love her. I'm not a big fan of marriage (don't see the point) but she wanted it and I didn't see any point in not doing it because we are going to stay together. So yeah.
I heard about this on the phone last night. The first thing that came to mind was how happy I hope you and Wendy will be together.

The second thing that came to mind was how I hope your bachelor party will come close to being as cool as "The Hangover".
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Old 09-29-2010, 03:17 PM    (permalink
terribletowel39
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#1: It is Wendee, how many times??!! Haha

#2: Would you even be able to come?? You know you are on that tight leash. (yes, I just called you out infront of all the internet homies)
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Old 09-29-2010, 03:31 PM    (permalink
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Wedding gift: downgraded to a blender instead of something cool.
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Old 09-29-2010, 03:40 PM    (permalink
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I actually want the juicer. ;)
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Old 09-29-2010, 03:58 PM    (permalink
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You can't have my juicer, *****!
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Old 09-29-2010, 05:51 PM    (permalink
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so here's a question for you elder statesmen... since your opinions are really the only ones I think are worth anything in this thread.

Where exactly should I go about looking for intelligent, unique, more alternative type women?

I'm in grad school currently at UW, so obviously there's tons of women around. The thing is though, I'm looking for substance... a rare commodity in people in general.

I've been thinking the best place to hangout would be coffee shops, or the library, but the library is hardly conducive to social situations. Just looking for anything I may have missed.
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Old 09-29-2010, 06:04 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by VoteLynnSwan View Post
Where exactly should I go about looking for intelligent, unique, more alternative type women?

I've been thinking the best place to hangout would be coffee shops, or the library, but the library is hardly conducive to social situations. Just looking for anything I may have missed.
where would the girls that you like hang out? is there a certain event they would attend which you could also attend? are they any on-campus organizations which girls of your liking might participate in?

these are the things I would consider
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Old 09-29-2010, 06:21 PM    (permalink
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This may sound cliche, but I don't think you find substance when you are looking for it. That's what makes it real.
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Old 09-29-2010, 06:32 PM    (permalink
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This may sound cliche, but I don't think you find substance when you are looking for it. That's what makes it real.
I, too, believe that when you go seeking a girl, you will not succeed, but he asked for advice and, if I were in that situation, I would do what I said.
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Old 09-29-2010, 07:03 PM    (permalink
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This may sound cliche, but I don't think you find substance when you are looking for it. That's what makes it real.
I would certainly agree with this sentiment... however the universe has not provided. There is a song by the Smiths that highlights the way I feel about this situation How Soon is Now. Great song by the way.

As to Brent's comment... you are of course right. It's not as if I haven't thought about those types of things. I am however horrendous at meeting people of either sex, which is clearly the central problem I need to overcome.
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Old 09-29-2010, 07:23 PM    (permalink
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Using that song as a reference gives me an idea of how you are feeling (it is a great song by the way).
It may help if you invent some ways to approach people that opens the door to just regular conversation.
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Old 09-29-2010, 08:02 PM    (permalink
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As to Brent's comment... you are of course right. It's not as if I haven't thought about those types of things. I am however horrendous at meeting people of either sex, which is clearly the central problem I need to overcome.
Sometimes you just have to nut up and introduce yourself to strangers. Even if you are anxious about meeting new people, most people are rather nice and, if you are looking for they type of people I think you are, will be pretty cool about stuff.
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Old 09-29-2010, 09:45 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes you just have to nut up and introduce yourself to strangers. Even if you are anxious about meeting new people, most people are rather nice and, if you are looking for they type of people I think you are, will be pretty cool about stuff.
The worst thing is that I'm great in conversation once I can get past that first hurdle. Obviously though that is the hardest to overcome. I know what I need to do, it's just a matter of actually doing it.
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Old 09-30-2010, 12:03 AM    (permalink
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This may sound cliche, but I don't think you find substance when you are looking for it. That's what makes it real.
I'd disagree in the sense that I don't really know if you can just look for substance in the first place. At a glance, you'll never be able to gauge things like common sense, values, and personality.
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Old 09-30-2010, 12:37 AM    (permalink
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I'd disagree in the sense that I don't really know if you can just look for substance in the first place. At a glance, you'll never be able to gauge things like common sense, values, and personality.
This is the game we play isn't it...

There are plenty of things to be learned about a person simply by observation. Everything a person says or does says something about them as a person. From dress, to actions, to mannerisms, to location. All these things are important.

The trick obviously is to become attuned to all these factors.

I'm constantly scanning people's conversations when I'm in public places, looking for something, anything of interest to me.

The question is why do all this? Because you may only get one shot, that's why.
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Old 09-30-2010, 08:05 AM    (permalink
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VLS you are in grad school so that is a start. However your ideas seem kind of passive since you would be going to a place where people aren't there specifically to interact. At a bookstore or library women will be looking for books or studying, at a coffee shop they'll be reading, talking/texting/surfing on their phones, talking to friends, etc.

Try for more interactive situations. Volunteer at an animal shelter or beautification project, ask some people in your classes (including good-looking females, but not just them since that would be too obvious) to form a study group, join some sort of weekend fitness class or frisbee golf team, something where you can meet new women in settings where personal interaction is expected, but is different than going to a bar where everyone is hitting on each other and looking for a one night stand. If you are religious then church would be another idea.

I never did online dating but you could always try that as well if you have a hard time meeting new people cold.
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Old 09-30-2010, 10:33 AM    (permalink
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I agree wholeheartedly with what killxswitch wrote here. Shared interests and repeated interactions are a good way to build rapport with someone. If you're doing something you're passionate about, it will show, and it will make you very attractive to the people who understand and appreciate how you use your time.

In terms of online dating, it can work, but it's an absolute numbers game. I used the internet to supplement my going out. Prior to meeting my current gf (who I met online), I went out with close to 50 women. I probably asked out or contacted 200. Of my 50 first dates/hookups, I got second dates maybe 20% of the time. It cost me many hours, thousands of dollars, and a lot of frustration. I learned a lot about what I'm looking for and not looking for, and I eventually met a great girl. It is just an absolute grind.

One thing that I really enjoyed was Speed Dating. You are forced to interact with 10-15 women in one night. You get 4-6 minutes to make an impression. After the event, you mark down who you want to see again and don't, then you get a list electronically. It is a good way to meet a lot of girls all at once and to practice cold convos.
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Old 09-30-2010, 01:24 PM    (permalink
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That sounds like a ******** of ******* work.

Thank god for college.
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Old 09-30-2010, 01:25 PM    (permalink
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When you're not in college, you need to put yourself out there and put yourself in situations to meet people who aren't POS's. Some people are lucky enough to meet their spouse in school. Others are not. Once you're out of school, it's hard to find a quality person just out at bars.
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Old 09-30-2010, 01:52 PM    (permalink
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The online dating deal isn't too bad, but it can get frustrating. I've found that I'm either getting a ton of decent possibilities at once (which is good and bad) or none at all.
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Old 09-30-2010, 01:55 PM    (permalink
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Online dating is an easy way to meet a lot of girls at once without really trying too hard. The problem is that girls are a minority, so they get tons of attention from guys. They can sit back and pick and choose. It is sometimes difficult to get the kind of girl you think is worth your time. However, you can definitely work some one night stands and hookups with minimal effort. It has its uses, and I can attest that there are a few really cool girls out there.
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Old 09-30-2010, 01:59 PM    (permalink
thefalconer
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i want one night stands :(
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Old 09-30-2010, 02:01 PM    (permalink
bsaza2358
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Don't worry. Halloween is on 31 days away!
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Old 09-30-2010, 02:19 PM    (permalink
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Yea, i met my girl online and before her, i met some duds and it was kinda bad, but im so happy i went back on it and found her, albeit its only be like 2 and a half months lol, but they have been great. Online dating is great for communications, for me, as its not my specialty to start convos out in the "real world" but it was easy getting comfortable to open up to her so when we webcammed/met all that stuff, we were right at ease. I went to OkCupid, which is free, and it worked for what i needed but idk what you guys want, if you wanna just screw someone, it'd be hard to find but it never hurt anyone to keep all your options.

VLS, just dont throw all your eggs in one basket, you got time man, just be you, get yourself out there on all levels i.e. internet, volunteer, school, anyway possible and someones bound to take the bait man. Good Luck
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