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Old 10-23-2010, 02:31 PM    (permalink
HeavyLeggedWaistBender
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Tease. $10 says she wont text til halftime about how shes gonna stay in tonight.
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Old 10-23-2010, 02:32 PM    (permalink
Brent
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Originally Posted by HeavyLeggedWaistBender View Post
Tease. $10 says she wont text til halftime about how shes gonna stay in tonight.
I'm assuming the same. I don't care.

I am moving to the other side of the metroplex soon, so **** it.
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Old 10-24-2010, 09:01 PM    (permalink
Brent
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I find the forced interaction bit is either going to make it easy or fail entirely. Which is nice because it saves me time/effort, and if it's the latter, at least I am out boozing.
this happened back on Friday. and I just had this text message conversation with the girl who we are mutual friends with:

Her: "she said you're '******* hot, I'd rip him to pieces. you tell him that"
Me: "well, I guess we're hanging out friday?"
Her: "she thinks you are cute; come over friday."

winrar
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Old 10-24-2010, 11:22 PM    (permalink
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Rip her into pieces back, good man
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:21 AM    (permalink
Chucky
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Originally Posted by Brent View Post
this happened back on Friday. and I just had this text message conversation with the girl who we are mutual friends with:

Her: "she said you're '******* hot, I'd rip him to pieces. you tell him that"
Me: "well, I guess we're hanging out friday?"
Her: "she thinks you are cute; come over friday."

winrar
I think that means she is bringing a strap-on.
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:32 AM    (permalink
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Don't knock it til you try it? haha
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:07 PM    (permalink
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Old 10-25-2010, 01:58 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by Brent View Post
well, I have known this girls since HS, and she's liked me off and on forever. I've made attempts before but it's always that she keeps shying away from hanging out every now and then. I dont know. If I ever ask her to hang out with me, even if it's a rather interesting thing, she'll be down and then flake out. Or, she'll contact me to hang out with out being prompted and then she'll do this kind of stuff where she acts interested in hanging out and then doesnt.

Frankly, I don't know what to think. I am more venting than anything. I haven't said a word to her in like a month, so this is rather out of the blue from her.
Time to move on. Or at least file her away while looking for other options.
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:03 PM    (permalink
BufFan71
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long story short
me and GF have been official for 3 months now (she asked me to be her BF)
we were fwb for 2 months before that


during those two months, i was hooking up with other girls, and she was hookin up with another dude (lets call him, justin)


so tonight i was at her house watching a movie with her and her family... and i noticed she was texting someone quite a bit, so i looked over at her phone when she got a text, and it was from "Justin"
Now, shes told me that she is still friends with him, but i know he also has a girlfriend.
And at times she would kinda tilt the phone away from me, so that maybe i wouldnt be able to read it. This seems pretty shady to me...

now, im not overbearing in the relationship, i realize she has her own life, and i have my own life to live. But the fact shes texting this dude kinda makes me mad. but at the same time i dont wanna sound jelous and make it seem like i watch who and what she texts(b/c i dont, it was a one time thing). I thought i established some solid rules early in the relationship, so should i bring this up to her, and how so should i bring it up?
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:17 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by BufFan71 View Post
long story short
me and GF have been official for 3 months now (she asked me to be her BF)
we were fwb for 2 months before that


during those two months, i was hooking up with other girls, and she was hookin up with another dude (lets call him, justin)


so tonight i was at her house watching a movie with her and her family... and i noticed she was texting someone quite a bit, so i looked over at her phone when she got a text, and it was from "Justin"
Now, shes told me that she is still friends with him, but i know he also has a girlfriend.
And at times she would kinda tilt the phone away from me, so that maybe i wouldnt be able to read it. This seems pretty shady to me...

now, im not overbearing in the relationship, i realize she has her own life, and i have my own life to live. But the fact shes texting this dude kinda makes me mad. but at the same time i dont wanna sound jelous and make it seem like i watch who and what she texts(b/c i dont, it was a one time thing). I thought i established some solid rules early in the relationship, so should i bring this up to her, and how so should i bring it up?
just put her on blast if she was in your shoes. If you were texting someone who you slept with before you dated them, would that bother you(your gf) if she doesnt get it, then shes.....yea, but if she gets defensive, why get defensive over something so small, its weird. Just make sure she understands your point of view. Me and my girl do it all the time, it makes sense and we move on from it, so yea.
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:23 PM    (permalink
georgiafan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BufFan71 View Post
long story short
me and GF have been official for 3 months now (she asked me to be her BF)
we were fwb for 2 months before that


during those two months, i was hooking up with other girls, and she was hookin up with another dude (lets call him, justin)


so tonight i was at her house watching a movie with her and her family... and i noticed she was texting someone quite a bit, so i looked over at her phone when she got a text, and it was from "Justin"
Now, shes told me that she is still friends with him, but i know he also has a girlfriend.
And at times she would kinda tilt the phone away from me, so that maybe i wouldnt be able to read it. This seems pretty shady to me...

now, im not overbearing in the relationship, i realize she has her own life, and i have my own life to live. But the fact shes texting this dude kinda makes me mad. but at the same time i dont wanna sound jelous and make it seem like i watch who and what she texts(b/c i dont, it was a one time thing). I thought i established some solid rules early in the relationship, so should i bring this up to her, and how so should i bring it up?
I think you should bring it up, but do it in a nice non confrontial way. She is gonna have friends that are guys, but its very rude on her part to be texing other guys when she is with her boyfriend. If your relationship is gonna go anywhere you have to be honest and upfront with each other. This is a issue that bothers you (as it should) so u cant just pretend it isnt there.

Do you trust her not to cheat? Have u ever talked/texted another girl in front of her?
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:29 PM    (permalink
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I think you have spent a great deal of time thinking about this issue, and you have concluded that she was in the wrong. A couple of questions:

1. Did she tell you she was still friends with him before you looked at the text or after?
2. Have you mentioned anything about this to her yet? If so, how did she react?
3. Do you have a history of cheating or being cheated on? Does she?

This is an interesting test of your relationship at this early stage. At the very least, you need to mention that her behavior upset you. How you proceed going forward is very relationship specific. At the very least, I don't like to hear that she's texting a dude she was sleeping with as recently as 3 months ago. You have every right to be upset. However, you need to approach it properly in order to get the resolution you are looking for.
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:46 PM    (permalink
BufFan71
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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
I think you have spent a great deal of time thinking about this issue, and you have concluded that she was in the wrong. A couple of questions:

1. Did she tell you she was still friends with him before you looked at the text or after?
2. Have you mentioned anything about this to her yet? If so, how did she react?
3. Do you have a history of cheating or being cheated on? Does she?

This is an interesting test of your relationship at this early stage. At the very least, you need to mention that her behavior upset you. How you proceed going forward is very relationship specific. At the very least, I don't like to hear that she's texting a dude she was sleeping with as recently as 3 months ago. You have every right to be upset. However, you need to approach it properly in order to get the resolution you are looking for.

1. she told me about a month ago that they are friends, but she also told me he was someone she had sex with before
2. no i havent mentioned it, i shouldve last night, but it slipped my mind. im gonna go over her house tonight and bring it up
3. i was cheated on by my last ex, and she cheated on her first bf (kissed another guy) when she was a freshmen in high school (shes a sr in HS now)
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Old 10-25-2010, 03:54 PM    (permalink
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I think your feelings are absolutely normal, regardless of the situation. However, you have to make sure that you are behaving rationally. It seems like you are in control, but the betrayal of the last relationship is still signfiicant. Just because she is texting her friend, it doesn't mean she is cheating. However, her behavior while doing it seems to indicate that she's not completely on the level.

Women are emotional thinkers, so you have to attack this on an emotional level. I think you should mention your history and that you are a little concerned about her relationship with this Justin dude. That you are really trying to keep this from affecting your relationship, but when she is texting a guy she recently slept with, it makes you very uncomfortable. Make it clear to her that you're not looking to control her behavior in any way, but you're a little anxious about it, and you want to make sure everyone is on the same page. See how she reacts from there.

Ideally, she will say and do the proper things to make sure that your relationship continues on a healthy level. You need to continue to communicate your concerns to her and to listen and respond rationally when she communicates with you. If she isn't giving you the support and communication that you need, you probably have to break up with her. I don't see any huge red flags, but she needs to be more aware that as a partner in a committed relationship, she shouldn't be partaking in inappropriate activities. That would include sexting with an ex.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:02 PM    (permalink
BufFan71
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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
I think your feelings are absolutely normal, regardless of the situation. However, you have to make sure that you are behaving rationally. It seems like you are in control, but the betrayal of the last relationship is still signfiicant. Just because she is texting her friend, it doesn't mean she is cheating. However, her behavior while doing it seems to indicate that she's not completely on the level.
Women are emotional thinkers, so you have to attack this on an emotional level. I think you should mention your history and that you are a little concerned about her relationship with this Justin dude. That you are really trying to keep this from affecting your relationship, but when she is texting a guy she recently slept with, it makes you very uncomfortable. Make it clear to her that you're not looking to control her behavior in any way, but you're a little anxious about it, and you want to make sure everyone is on the same page. See how she reacts from there.
Ideally, she will say and do the proper things to make sure that your relationship continues on a healthy level. You need to continue to communicate your concerns to her and to listen and respond rationally when she communicates with you. If she isn't giving you the support and communication that you need, you probably have to break up with her. I don't see any huge red flags, but she needs to be more aware that as a partner in a committed relationship, she shouldn't be partaking in inappropriate activities. That would include sexting with an ex.
wow...
do u have any kind of AIM i could talk to u on?

Im a very laid back person, i dont usually mind her texting guys, because i know she has a lot of guy friends (shes pretty tomboyish) but the fact shes texting a recent sex partner in front of me does upset me
a good buddy of mine (who is like 9 years older than me) told me i should talk to her about it, but stay calm, laid back, and dont make it into an arguement. and that i shouldnt be angry, but let her know it upsets me, because we are in a "committed" relationship. And that I DONT text or talk to the girls i was messing around anymore.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:12 PM    (permalink
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I prefer to keep things more anonymous on the forum. That gives me control of when and to whom I respond to. If you'd rather discuss this item outside of the forum, I'm happy to exchange PM's with you via SWDC.
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:31 PM    (permalink
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Ended a friendship of 3 years because I developed a crush on the girl and she didn't feel that way about me. The trigger was that she started to try to date another guy and I just didn't handle it well, so I felt it was best to sever it before I hurt us both. This has to be among the worst feelings ever. I hope this is a "cut your foot off so your leg doesn't get gangrene" kind of solution because I feel awful.

I really can't believe I'm almost 26, have lived like I have, and feel this bad over one girl... but I do.

edit: Post 1600 :( What a way to make that milestone.

edit2: It's been especially harsh because of the timing. It seems everyone is busy right now.
Day 4: It feels worse than day 1 + day 2 + day 3 combined. I had to go to classes today and she's in them. I figured I could survive our big class together, but for whatever reason, my mind kept drifting to the middle of the room, where she sat.

The small class however, was worse. It's like 10 people that show up and everyone is easily audible. So I showed up right at class time, and still couldn't avoid thinking about how much I missed hanging out before class. Needless to say, I left in a hurry (without looking like that).

I seriously doubt I make it a week at this rate.

edit: I'll just have to suck it up and be 'just friends' if we can even get back to that. Maybe I should try to talk to her about it friday (a week or so afterwards, so I don't seem like a total spaz). I really don't know what to do. I'm miserable in classes now (despite smiling and chatting to random people around the room).

*Shakes fist* Damn women.
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Last edited by descendency : 10-25-2010 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:34 PM    (permalink
Brent
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I seriously doubt I make it a week at this rate.
if you want to ignore people easily and not think about any one in this situation (because I was in a very similar situation in college) I would suggest either:

1. get a really good book to read
2. constant mp3 player use

also, never accept just friends, you will never lose that attraction. see one of my prior posts as to why.

yes, I have trouble taking my own advice.
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:39 PM    (permalink
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The best way to get over one woman is to get on top of another one.



I think you know what to do.
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Old 10-25-2010, 07:42 PM    (permalink
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The best way to get over one woman is to get on top of another one.
exactly, hence my other recent comment in this thread :D
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:20 PM    (permalink
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I think you know what to do.
Gag her if she screams?
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:37 PM    (permalink
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Piggy back ride?
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Old 10-25-2010, 09:45 PM    (permalink
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Day 4: It feels worse than day 1 + day 2 + day 3 combined. I had to go to classes today and she's in them. I figured I could survive our big class together, but for whatever reason, my mind kept drifting to the middle of the room, where she sat.

The small class however, was worse. It's like 10 people that show up and everyone is easily audible. So I showed up right at class time, and still couldn't avoid thinking about how much I missed hanging out before class. Needless to say, I left in a hurry (without looking like that).

I seriously doubt I make it a week at this rate.

edit: I'll just have to suck it up and be 'just friends' if we can even get back to that. Maybe I should try to talk to her about it friday (a week or so afterwards, so I don't seem like a total spaz). I really don't know what to do. I'm miserable in classes now (despite smiling and chatting to random people around the room).

*Shakes fist* Damn women.
Hard to keep your sanity in such situations. That you weren't actually romantically involved with this girl will help you recover pretty well. You're just dealing with embarrassment at this point.
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:20 PM    (permalink
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Hard to keep your sanity in such situations. That you weren't actually romantically involved with this girl will help you recover pretty well. You're just dealing with embarrassment at this point.
Yea, I know how life changing a bad breakup can be.

Though, I really don't think embarrassed is the right word. I did it to protect her from the dick I was likely to become when jealousy set in. I just feel like I made a mistake by not talking to her about it more. I guess I am embarrassed about that.

---

How long should I wait to talk to her about it if I told her that we needed to see each other less because of all that was going on?
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Old 10-25-2010, 11:52 PM    (permalink
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Anybody have experience as a best man?
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