Relationship Advice Thread - Page 254

Damix · 12-28-2010, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bsaza2358

This totally made my morning. You guys are awesome.

Heavy, man up, go to her house, and ask her out. Or don't. Facebook is really lame in general. Stop being a puss in boots.

This. Back to work after the first time I've had 5 days off in a row in like a year, and I get to read this right away.

Please keep it coming.

Bills2083 · 12-29-2010, 09:05 PM

If I am going out to dinner with a girl I'm interested in on friday, I know I have to pay for her dinner. But she is bringing a good friend of hers along with her (I'm sort of friends with the friend).

How do I go about paying for dinner?
It seems weird to me to cover both their dinners, but it seems worse to not pay for them at all.

Chucky · 12-29-2010, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bills2083

If I am going out to dinner with a girl I'm interested in on friday, I know I have to pay for her dinner. But she is bringing a good friend of hers along with her (I'm sort of friends with the friend).

How do I go about paying for dinner?
It seems weird to me to cover both their dinners, but it seems worse to not pay for them at all.

1.Eat Dinner
2.Pay for dinner
3.??????
4. Manage a Trois

Sportsfan486 · 12-29-2010, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bills2083

If I am going out to dinner with a girl I'm interested in on friday, I know I have to pay for her dinner. But she is bringing a good friend of hers along with her (I'm sort of friends with the friend).

How do I go about paying for dinner?
It seems weird to me to cover both their dinners, but it seems worse to not pay for them at all.

Tricky. I take it you're not actually dating girl A? In which case, you probably need to pay for both.

In a dating situation, only paying for your girl is the standard but in this situation you probably need to go both.

Bills2083 · 12-29-2010, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chucky

1.Eat Dinner
2.Pay for dinner
3.??????
4. Manage a Trois

What if the friend is not very attractive?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

Tricky. I take it you're not actually dating girl A? In which case, you probably need to pay for both.

In a dating situation, only paying for your girl is the standard but in this situation you probably need to go both.

This would be my predicament. I was looking to get potentially date girl A, and she told me that the friend is tagging along... on New Years Eve, none the less.

VoteLynnSwan · 12-29-2010, 09:51 PM

well that's not a good sign for you chances with girl A

Bills2083 · 12-29-2010, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VoteLynnSwan

well that's not a good sign for you chances with girl A

Thats what I was thinking, but it was her idea to go to dinner in the first place. Then later she said that the friend was tagging along. I'm hoping that there wasn't any reasoning behind the friend coming, other than that the friend just wanted to go.

Girl A also wants to go to the movies and ice skating tomorrow - just me and her. Hopefully thats a good sign:/

GB12 · 12-29-2010, 10:07 PM

I would not pay for the friend. If it means not paying for her either, fine. Pay for the movie and ice skating tomorrow and let them pay for dinner themselves.

Bills2083 · 12-29-2010, 10:26 PM

well, the friend just texted me saying that girl A wanted it to be a double date.. this means I cover girl A, friend gets covered by her boyfriend. everything works out!

Sportsfan486 · 12-29-2010, 10:28 PM

EDIT.

Well, nevermind.

NICE. The friend is your wingman, dude. ******* sweet.

And it's a date now. Way to go! UPGRADE!

Sportsfan486 · 12-29-2010, 10:33 PM

Also, update on my lady situation.

She went to Colorado to be with her fam for Christmas, coming back tomorrow. Apparently she's blowing off her friends to spend New Year's Eve with me.. and cook me pizza.

I swear to god.

Imma marry this girl.

kalbears13 · 12-29-2010, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

Also, update on my lady situation.

She went to Colorado to be with her fam for Christmas, coming back tomorrow. Apparently she's blowing off her friends to spend New Year's Eve with me.. and cook me pizza.

I swear to god.

Imma marry this girl.

There was a lot of suspense while I was reading that paragraph since the line ended with "Apparently she's blowing". I was waiting for something else...

NotRickJames · 12-30-2010, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeavyLeggedWaistBender

So I really liked this girl in high school but could never tell her/ask her out because I'd get too nervous but I'm 60/40 she wouldn't exactly shoot me down (I gave her a shoulder massage and she stopped what she was doing and thoroughly enjoyed it then thanked me as I left! I was 20mins late for my actual class doing that.) So I finally work up the courage to add her on facebook after seeing her out the night before Christmas Eve. And she accepted!

So now I'm thinking of clever ways to ask her out and I'm thinking I'll post a song on her wall. "My hands are shaking" by Sondre Lerche if you have the time. It feels like it could be a cool way of telling her I've always liked her without rambling on in some message or beating around the bush and possibly falling back in that friend zone by just small talking with her.

Good idea?

Actually, it's an excellent idea. Take a video of it and post it on youtube. Share it with us.

Sportsfan486 · 12-30-2010, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalbears13

There was a lot of suspense while I was reading that paragraph since the line ended with "Apparently she's blowing". I was waiting for something else...

That's dessert.

vikes_28 · 12-30-2010, 07:22 PM

Ugh.........females are so confusing. :(

As most of you know I'm engaged to be married next year.

Let me just give you the run-down of the situation. A girl that i had a thing for in high school that i've been friends with for 6+ years. When I told her a few years back that I had a thing for her, she put me in the friend zone, fine, whatever, i was fine with it. I understood at the time why she put me there. I dealt with it for a while, then i started dating my fiancee, and this girl (her name is hannah, my fiancee's name is brittney), acted like she was happy for me. I started dating brittney 4 years ago, asked her to marry me a year and a half ago.

So in the last year, we haven't really talked to eachother much, she would text me from time to time, we'd go out to breakfast when she's home for christmas/ summer and what not. We do what friends do. Now today she texted me out of the blue and asked if i had anything to do tonight. My obvious answer was no.

Now is where the confusing **** comes in. Today she expressed her feelings towards me, told me she loves me, and told me that she was upset when i started dating brittney 4 years ago. It's like...you couldn't have told me this before i started dating brittney? I'm not a cheater or anything, i didn't do anything with her, and i don't plan to do anything with her. I'm in love with my fiancee now and I want to leave it that way.

I guess what I'm asking, is if girls sometimes do this to try and get a guy to marry another girl. I just don't get it. The timing is totally weird. I get married in 8 months, and the wedding planning is in full force.

Like i said, I'm not a cheater, and i will not pursue hannah, but just the idea over her NOW having feelings for me doesn't make sense to me.

kalbears13 · 12-30-2010, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikes_28

Ugh.........females are so confusing. :(

As most of you know I'm engaged to be married next year.

Let me just give you the run-down of the situation. A girl that i had a thing for in high school that i've been friends with for 6+ years. When I told her a few years back that I had a thing for her, she put me in the friend zone, fine, whatever, i was fine with it. I understood at the time why she put me there. I dealt with it for a while, then i started dating my fiancee, and this girl (her name is hannah, my fiancee's name is brittney), acted like she was happy for me. I started dating brittney 4 years ago, asked her to marry me a year and a half ago.

So in the last year, we haven't really talked to eachother much, she would text me from time to time, we'd go out to breakfast when she's home for christmas/ summer and what not. We do what friends do. Now today she texted me out of the blue and asked if i had anything to do tonight. My obvious answer was no.

Now is where the confusing **** comes in. Today she expressed her feelings towards me, told me she loves me, and told me that she was upset when i started dating brittney 4 years ago. It's like...you couldn't have told me this before i started dating brittney? I'm not a cheater or anything, i didn't do anything with her, and i don't plan to do anything with her. I'm in love with my fiancee now and I want to leave it that way.

I guess what I'm asking, is if girls sometimes do this to try and get a guy to marry another girl. I just don't get it. The timing is totally weird. I get married in 8 months, and the wedding planning is in full force.

Like i said, I'm not a cheater, and i will not pursue hannah, but just the idea over her NOW having feelings for me doesn't make sense to me.

She wants what she can't have.

Sportsfan486 · 12-30-2010, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalbears13

She wants what she can't have.

This. As soon as you stopped pursuing her you became really attractive. I've had this happen before. They lose interest again when you give them attention again.

It's just about being able to get whatever they want.

Vikes99ej · 12-30-2010, 07:47 PM

I said I wasn't going to post in here until I did whatever, but I trust the opinions of people here more than any other website. This might be kind of a deeper issue than just women and relationships, I don't know. The reason I left this thread probably has to do with what I'm going to bring up here, as I had a reputation of a baby whiner. I don't mean to be all serious, but here goes.

How do I quit being less of a *****? I mean, how I take stuff less personally? I was bullied in my childhood into around early high school, and being towards the end of my college career I feel I have never gotten over this mentality. Someone will say a snide remark to me, and it will stick in the back of my mind for a while. I truly just want to be able to not give a ****, but I always find myself afraid of someone saying something negative to me. Needless to say, this hasn't helped with any kind of women situation. I've been devastated when I've discovered girls I've had a thing for are with friends of mine. I really want to quit being such a ***** and just stay focused on what I want to do and get done.

Thanks for any input, I really appreciate it.

CJSchneider · 12-30-2010, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalbears13

She wants what she can't have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sportsfan486

This. As soon as you stopped pursuing her you became really attractive. I've had this happen before. They lose interest again when you give them attention again.

It's just about being able to get whatever they want.

Exactly. When I got married, while I was in college, and started wearing a ring, ***** came out of the wood-work overnight. I had females I was in multiple classes with tell me they had no idea I was engaged and that they had hoped that we could have dated.

vikes_28 · 12-30-2010, 09:06 PM

ATLDirtyBirds · 12-30-2010, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikes99ej

How do I quit being less of a *****? I mean, how I take stuff less personally? I was bullied in my childhood into around early high school, and being towards the end of my college career I feel I have never gotten over this mentality. Someone will say a snide remark to me, and it will stick in the back of my mind for a while. I truly just want to be able to not give a ****, but I always find myself afraid of someone saying something negative to me. Needless to say, this hasn't helped with any kind of women situation. I've been devastated when I've discovered girls I've had a thing for are with friends of mine. I really want to quit being such a ***** and just stay focused on what I want to do and get done.

I love being tremendously apathetic. On you situation, it's a giant who gives a ****. That's how you have to look at it. If someone makes a remark, make one right back or just smile, sarcastic laugh, and shrug it off. Sure you'll still think about it, just don't put any actual stock in it. Play it off with ease.

On the woman situation, it's harsh, but just look at it as your situation can't get any bleaker. If you go make an attempt and get shot down, at least you went down firing, which is certainly better than beating around the bush/friend zone/etc. or coming on here to "cry" about it.

MetSox17 · 12-30-2010, 09:09 PM

I suggest you kill a small animal with your bare hands.

Bills2083 · 12-30-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalbears13

She wants what she can't have.

My English teacher's advice to the class on my first day in college:

"When you go out to a club, always wear a ring on your finger. Women want what they can't have and they'll be all over you all night long. I did this throughout college."

Sportsfan486 · 12-30-2010, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bills2083

My English teacher's advice to the class on my first day in college:

"When you go out to a club, always wear a ring on your finger. Women want what they can't have and they'll be all over you all night long. I did this throughout college."

If things fail with this lady, I'm going to do a two-week test on whether wearing a wedding band increases my ability to score with random chicks. If I do this test, I shall report back with results.

Vikes99ej · 12-30-2010, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ATLDirtyBirds

I love being tremendously apathetic. On you situation, it's a giant who gives a ****. That's how you have to look at it. If someone makes a remark, make one right back or just smile, sarcastic laugh, and shrug it off. Sure you'll still think about it, just don't put any actual stock in it. Play it off with ease.

On the woman situation, it's harsh, but just look at it as your situation can't get any bleaker. If you go make an attempt and get shot down, at least you went down firing, which is certainly better than beating around the bush/friend zone/etc. or coming on here to "cry" about it.

I wish I could be in the bars or in the class and just ask out any girl I can talk to, but something stops me and makes me hesitate. I must fear women for some reason. I know I can talk to people, I have hobbies and I have reasons to to be confident. I'm sick of using my past or mental illness **** as an excuse, and I just want to say **** it and go for it this last semester, no matter how raw or inexperienced I may be.