Relationship Advice Thread

[bearsfan_51]

Nobody should ever listen to prowler. I'd be shocked if he didn't have a supply of roofies he keeps with him constantly.

[bearsfan_51]

Originally Posted by RCAChainGang

Can't believe I'm doing this again, but I'll give DC a shot again.

Context: We go to a Christian University, really a pretty boring city, worthwhile city 30 minutes away.

Story: She is a girl I initialy didn't think much of, but lately I have decided to pursue something. I have her number and we talk over text about every 3 days. (Trying not to come across desperate) 50% of our conversations is about Harry Potter because I just finished the books and she loves them. I'm planning to watch the movies with her and a group of her friends (guys & girls). We really aren't even that much of friends yet. More like borderline aquaintance that hopefully become friends this semester. I guess I would appreciate some good date ideas/lines I could use to get dating started. I don't know if I like her enough to be in a relationship I just want to get in the arena of dating.

Please just remember context ^ I'm looking for different things than most guys (Christian Morals).

Thanks guys. I hope you all enjoy the wildcard games this sunday.

Spend some time with her in person before you decide if you want to date her, or more importantly, if she even finds you attractive. Unless you're leaving something out here, you have a text buddy you discuss wizard books with. Unless you're both socially awkward, it will probably seem weird to her for you to ask her out on a date randomly.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by bearsfan_51

Nobody should ever listen to prowler. I'd be shocked if he didn't have a supply of roofies he keeps with him constantly.

I was trying to keep it Christian, but I could hook him up with some roofies. In general, alcohol and them remotely being interested is usually enough.

I promise to tailor my recommended methods to each individual case. I can be good or bad.

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by RCAChainGang

Can't believe I'm doing this again, but I'll give DC a shot again.

Context: We go to a Christian University, really a pretty boring city, worthwhile city 30 minutes away.

Story: She is a girl I initialy didn't think much of, but lately I have decided to pursue something. I have her number and we talk over text about every 3 days. (Trying not to come across desperate) 50% of our conversations is about Harry Potter because I just finished the books and she loves them. I'm planning to watch the movies with her and a group of her friends (guys & girls). We really aren't even that much of friends yet. More like borderline aquaintance that hopefully become friends this semester. I guess I would appreciate some good date ideas/lines I could use to get dating started. I don't know if I like her enough to be in a relationship I just want to get in the arena of dating.

Please just remember context ^ I'm looking for different things than most guys (Christian Morals).

Thanks guys. I hope you all enjoy the wildcard games this sunday.

Watch the movies and talk about Emma Watson incessantly.

At least that's what I would do.

[StickSkills]

Does this thread only pertain to relationships in terms over girlfriends and such?

[MetSox17]

It can be about boyfriends too, if that's your kinda thing..

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by MetSox17

It can be about boyfriends too, if that's your kinda thing..

Or girls with wieners.

[njx9]

Originally Posted by MetSox17

Short of your name being Romeo and hers Juliet, no female is worth you risking your career.

i dunno that there's a career risk. just a discomfort/still working together risk.

But, let's make a little outline here. Worst case scenario and you are shot down, what is the likelihood of it having career threatening repercussions? If it's a big enough risk that you find yourself wondering, it's probably best that you let it play out a little further before you take any leaps of faith.

agreed. i don't think there's a high likelihood unless i'm suddenly an absolutely terrible judge of character, but it's still a possibility.

What kind of acts of faith do you have that would lead you to believe she likes you back?

hard to describe, but comparable to every other girl i've ever dated.

Would your life be miserable and unhappy if you no longer had her as JUST a friend in your life? If the answer is no (which it damn well should be), then **** it, just come off a little stronger and see how she takes it. Ultimately your goal is to have her like you back, so if she doesn't, you can quit without stressing yourself any further.

yup, not at all. i guess the idea is just making it clear that if nothing's reciprocated, that it's not a big deal. and while i care, i 'don't care'. but you're dead on with the goal. i just want to know one way or the other so i can move on accordingly. i should add that my friends are assholes and have spent ~2 years telling me to ask her out and going on endlessly about it. so if there's nothing there, it would be nice to be able to definitively say that and stop hearing about it.

My recommendation as of now, without hearing any other details about it, is to put yourselves in a more intimate atmosphere where you could really gauge whether she has a romantic interest in you or not. i.e dinner and a movie at your place/her place

only difficult because of the already romantic implications of the suggestion. which, i guess, may ultimately be the easiest way to go anyways.

If you see she's feeling it, show more physicality. Play with her hair, hold her or touch her as you laugh, direct eye contact, just things that normal "friends" don't do.

further difficult because i usually have a pretty extreme aversion to people touching me/vice versa.

Hope that made some sense and it helped. More details would be great.

perfect, thanks man. and everyone else who replied (i just figured this was the best place to reply to cover everything). sometimes it's useful to just hear some other opinions, instead of going back and forth in your own head.

[Brent]

Originally Posted by njx9

going back and forth in your own head.

that is ultimately our flaw.

[killxswitch]

Yeah it is too easy to convince yourself to do/not to do something. Outside opinions are important.

[M.O.T.H.]

Oh god...I cant tell you how happy I was to hear back from that girl I like today. Didnt text me for two days and I was feeling pretty low. I dont want to be that guy who has to text too much to get your attention. I'm not normally the one doing the chasing. And that would make me appear creepy or desperate, in my eyes. But yeah, talked to her for two hours today...I probably shouldnt stress over it. She likes to play her games, but they def. get to me. This girl drives me crazy...in a good way.

[yo123]

Getting too drunk to pick up on hints is the worst. And waking up and realizing it is even worse. I met her around a week ago and got her number. Talked a couple times since but nothing real serious just bullshitting but I really actually like her. What's the next step from here NFLDC?

Seems like she likes to play games and ****. Not really into that but it does seem like the feeling is mutual.

[MetSox17]

You send a text asking her what she's doing __(today, tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, whatever)__ and ******** something like, i've been wanting to go do this random activity __(see a movie, go to this restaurant, go play pool, anything)__ and i was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me. Or just ask her to meet up for drinks or something. If you want to know whether she's interested, you need to go out with her.

[yo123]

Thing is she lives 3 hours away. I just moved away and we talked about meeting up one of these weekends but nothing set in stone. My first instinct is always to not sound desperate, but that's ****** me over plenty of times.

[MetSox17]

Why are you doing this to yourself yo?! It's an uphill battle from the start with her being so far away, and if she's flakey/unsure, it's gonna be damn near impossible for ya'll to do something since you absolutely need to be sure if you plan on seeing someone that you have to travel three hours to.

Honestly, if you really wanna see her, make it seem urgent, but not because of her. Say you have to do something back home and you're gonna be there that weekend so you should hang out, or that you're gonna be in town such and such day. Of course this puts you at risk of her canceling and having the whole trip be a waste... but.. this is why we don't do long distance!

[yo123]

Agreed. I've just really never taken much of an initiating role in a relationship before, for various reasons. Probably more an issue of me putting myself out there than an actual issue, but it's just never natural for me. My thought at the moment is **** it just give it a shot though, which is probably the right one.

[M.O.T.H.]

Going on a first date tonight with this girl. This should be interesting.

[georgiafan]

Originally Posted by M.O.T.H.

Going on a first date tonight with this girl. This should be interesting.

good luck keep us updated

[MetSox17]

Originally Posted by M.O.T.H.

Going on a first date tonight with this girl. This should be interesting.

Remember to whip it out and lay some pipe.

[eaglesalltheway]

Originally Posted by MetSox17

Remember to whip it out and lay some pipe.

She gets her games, you should get to play around a little bit too..

[M.O.T.H.]

She's a little hesitant/nervous, because she says she's not used to nice guys, or the "gentleman attention/treatment". I was going to arrive with a rose, but I dont know if that's just really cheesy. haha. I think I'm gonna do it anyway. I havent been on a date in a long time. I'd like to treat this girl like she's never been treated. lol. That's just my nature.

[eaglesalltheway]

Originally Posted by M.O.T.H.

She's a little hesitant/nervous, because she says she's not used to nice guys, or the "gentleman attention/treatment". I was going to arrive with a rose, but I dont know if that's just really cheesy. haha. I think I'm gonna do it anyway. I havent been on a date in a long time. I'd like to treat this girl like she's never been treated. lol. That's just my nature.

Not on a first date, it entered my mind (more than once) but I thought better of it.

[CashmoneyDrew]

Originally Posted by M.O.T.H.

Going on a first date tonight with this girl. This should be interesting.

I'll pray for your ****.

[M.O.T.H.]

Originally Posted by eaglesalltheway

Not on a first date, it entered my mind (more than once) but I thought better of it.

Oh it's happening. lol

[SuperPacker]

Im 15 so i probably know nothing but from past experience trying to to seem desperate or eager never works! Depends on their personality though.

EDIT: I'll probably get banned from the thread so i actually lied before, im 18! ;)