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Old 07-29-2013, 09:55 AM    (permalink
JoeJoeBrown
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Originally Posted by georgiafan View Post
A girl I use to date (not officially but we went out like 10 times) and then to make a long story short is just your basic story of she did be wrong and now she wants a second chance. I've been able to hold up pretty strong and not give in so far because I don't trust her.
Continue to not trust her. Don't give her a second chance. 10 dates isn't a huge investment. Move on.
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:29 AM    (permalink
bsaza2358
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Agreed. Go with your gut. Why would you give her a second chance? What has she done to deserve it?
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:53 AM    (permalink
JoeJoeBrown
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So Bert, you really jumped into the deep end of the swimming pool fast.

Really tells me that you have done the right thing and got out of a terrible relationship.
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:56 AM    (permalink
Bert Macklin
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Originally Posted by JoeJoeBrown View Post
So Bert, you really jumped into the deep end of the swimming pool fast.

Really tells me that you have done the right thing and got out of a terrible relationship.
she almost got to me last night making me feel guilty but I just can't do it. she can't see right now how much better BOTH our lives will be. she just thinks I'm doing this to make myself happy. she's miserable around me. yet she wants to stay?
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:14 AM    (permalink
JoeJoeBrown
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she almost got to me last night making me feel guilty but I just can't do it. she can't see right now how much better BOTH our lives will be. she just thinks I'm doing this to make myself happy. she's miserable around me. yet she wants to stay?
She wants to make you miserable. Don't let it happen. Just move on, be professional about it and don't let her get to you.
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:15 AM    (permalink
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Sounds like an "out of sight, out of mind" situation. Unfortunate that it isn't working out, but best that you go that route if you are 150% sure your needs cannot be met by the current marriage.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:12 PM    (permalink
georgiafan
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Originally Posted by JoeJoeBrown View Post
Continue to not trust her. Don't give her a second chance. 10 dates isn't a huge investment. Move on.
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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
Agreed. Go with your gut. Why would you give her a second chance? What has she done to deserve it?
My gut says not to trust her as it looked like she was using me for $ and also had a boyfriend of 2 years. Like I said so far I've stayed strong and not gave in which is hard for me to do at times. Since I'm not dating anyone and she is sending texts like this.

"I want you to know you are the most wonderful person I have ever met in my entire life."

"I wish I could do alot of things over espically the chance I had with you".

"You have no ideal how heavy this has been on my heart I have asked God for forgiveness and I just want you to know how bad I feel about all of it and I want to make it better."
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:16 PM    (permalink
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Then block her #, remove her from social media, delete her #. These are good steps to distance yourself. Make it clear you aren't interested.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:20 PM    (permalink
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Ha. Change your behavior and control your relationships by not engaging with folks prone to not meet your needs. This is a no brainer
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Old 07-29-2013, 01:35 PM    (permalink
georgiafan
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you should call her up. she sounds like she'll be fun to read about in a month or two.
My friends advice was to go out with her have sex with and then dump her for payback lol. I don't think I need to go to the extreme to block her are anything as I dont hate her are anything but I know what you mean.
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Old 07-29-2013, 01:40 PM    (permalink
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She is trying to manipulate you again. Walk away and don't look back.
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Old 07-29-2013, 01:47 PM    (permalink
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Exactly. Easiest way to prevent her from getting at you and to keep yourself in check is to block her on everything.
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Old 08-10-2013, 03:01 PM    (permalink
The Alex
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I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.
The end. Cut to black. Audience goes ****ing ape****.
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Old 08-14-2013, 11:10 PM    (permalink
BaLLiN
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So my girl and I have been up and down all summer, but mostly good and very good recently. I live an hour away from her and her ex boyfriend of 2 years (they broke up last september, ignited by me i guess despite me not really talking to her bc i respect relationships) lives 5 min away and obviously shes gunna run into him because she coaches at their high school, and his sister is one of her athletes.

Essentially it has been a problem this whole time for me and her, literally the only problem to take note of. We didnt officially date until this past April, but we have really been in a relationship since october. She slept in my room at college (is a commuter), would go on dates, bring me to see her family, hang out with mutual friends and do fun stuff. We had sex a lot. And the one thing I never did was tell her to stop talking to her ex, because I thought the best route would be to ignore it, to feel confident in myself, and just care about my relationship with her and not theirs although I did listen when she would talk about it.

Things got worse near winter break, she saw him and had sex with him and then called me apologizing but I wasnt having any of it. I believe that if you care about someone you wouldnt do that. I ignored her, and then I realized I liked her a lot and wanted to look past it bc we werent officially dating (i know ********) and because i could tell she was trying to get over him and give us a chance.

We came back from break and things progressively got better, I didnt let her back in my life easy but didnt fend her off. We eventually started doing what we were doing before but things seemed better because she wasnt talking to him as much and cared about me. It still was up and down because she did talk to him and I could tell. But eventually there was a span of a month where we were really good and went to a concert and her family really showed they liked me a lot. So I thought, why not, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she didnt answer me after I left her house and went to the college and said yes that night.

That got me a little confused but, things were amazing for a month, and then he became a problem again. And she made excuses about how she needed to talk to him to keep his friendship, she gave him a haircut, and then felt bad but i could tell it bothered her seeing him again and she did it to herself.

We ended the semester on a good note, we had made it tradition to go to breakfast on sunday and dinner at her house and hung out a lot. I told her she was my best friend and she really liked that I could tell and our sex life was really good, she texted me about a time we did like two days after at random.

We visited each other every week, sometimes twice a week, I mostly went to her bc I didnt have a bad work schedule and I could tell her family loved me and saw that I made her happy, but the distance I was away from her and her continually talking to him led to a point where she said she didnt know what she wanted anymore. I told her a lot of stuff, and tried to make it all positive, show I wasnt giving up or being spiteful, but she left and then realized her mistake and wouldnt stop calling me or texting me saying that she was stupid, I make her happy and she told her friends and family that I was perfect for her and that her family got mad at her for ******* up. And then I caved in too easily and answered her after two days and then saw her and was affectionate too soon bc then she didnt have to work for it. Then it happened again, and this time I broke up with her because she couldnt do it, and then I asked to see her to officially break up and then went to a party and she kept asking our mutual friend what i was doing and to make sure I didnt do anything stupid and then she was a mess the next day. Her mom reamed her out for it, telling her that her ex wasnt going to keep caring like he just was just now and he was manipulating her because he knew he could and had bad reasoning for wanting her back just because of jealousy.

She texted me nonstop again, left voicemails and I answered and listened, but I told her I didnt know what I wanted. I wasnt gunna be played a fool. So for like two weeks I didnt really give her any affection, just texted her and kept talking to her and never talked about our relationship. She kept saying that she was dumb and she ruined it, and that she told her ex she needed to move on and that he answered saying "go **** yourself, you were a waste of time".

I then got on better terms and went and visited a friend and saw her, and then the next time asked her to be my girlfriend again and we had a great night ata bar and good sex the next morning. We were good and have been good and even this past weekend I made her family dinner. But I felt like she was different so I checked her phone she texts him now again/still but changed his name to a song, and it got me upset but I knew and can tell when she talks to him bc she is distant from me and seems upset. I had told her all week she could talk to me about it, because like 2 weeks ago she hid it from me that she saw him at a party and said hi and I got mad bc i could tell she wasnt okay and hid it from me and bc she shouldnt have normal conversation with that kid. I told her I knew she texted him still when she woke up, she denied it, I said i saw the texts, she denied it, I told her the name they were under and that I was leaving because I was tired of it. She said she loved me and that she doesnt have feelings for him anymore, and that shes trying to ween herself off talking to him. I stayed but wasnt ok, and then we played tennis and football with her sister and her boyfriend and had an enjoyable time but that still lingered in my mind and we talked about it again and she said that she just couldnt cut people off like that, and that we are different people, but I said that I wanted her to because it hurts me and it has been a problem our whole relationship, its disrespectful, and unacceptable if she wants to be with me. She agreed but didnt say anything much. I told her I was sorry for checking her phone, and she accepted it but said she changed her password. I went on vacation for a few days and I got upset because it kept staying in my head and she got worried, and asked me to talk to her and I did and told her I wasnt okay with it still, and that I really dont need to be in a relationship with her anymore if its going to be like this still, its been too long and im emotionally wiped from it. We made plans to see each other tomorrow and camp this weekend with friends and her brother, and I know Ill have fun but I just want to make sure she stops and that she gets that I am literally at my wits end.

She just told our mutual friend everything and she said she really wants to stop talking to him so we can work and he said he believes her.

I dont know what to do, but I dont want to break up with her, I just want her to ******* stop
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Old 08-14-2013, 11:52 PM    (permalink
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I've been in a similar situation Ballin, I dated a girl after she broke up with her boyfriend and she ended up cheating on me after about 4 months and went back to him. Then they proceed to break up a few months later and she's been running back and forth between us for the last like 6 months. My best advice is just like you said, tell her that your done playing these games and she needs to choose you or the other guy. One needs to be completely cut off because her indecisions **** with your head and it just isn't worth having to deal with the stress that comes with it.

My ex is on good terms with me now for about 3 months and she hasn't talked to him for what I know. I know to not trust her 100% by what she's already done but trust is something that can gradually be regained through time.
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Old 08-15-2013, 07:42 AM    (permalink
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Well the problem is we are dating now officially (i also really hate officially/not officially dating) and she should respect that I dont want her to text him. I just dont understand why, and it really seems to me she will never let go bc all of the **** he put her through and the things hes said. I am fed up with his involvement, to the point where I just want to see him, let him know in an adult manner that I want him to stop talking to her and I respected his relationship and didnt talk to her.
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Old 08-15-2013, 11:08 AM    (permalink
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You should tell her all this then, plain and simply that if she won't let him go and stop talking to him then you should end the relationship. If she's still torn between you 2 then she should be in a relationship until she knows what she wants.
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Old 08-15-2013, 01:05 PM    (permalink
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Wow. I know the answer, and I think you do too, but after all that I doubt you are going to listen. You are being a sucker bro. It is not just magically more difficult for her than anyone else on the planet to stop communicating with someone. People do it every day. It's not hard. Come on dude, you know what you should do. You should've gotten out of this a long time ago.
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Old 08-16-2013, 09:24 AM    (permalink
bsaza2358
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This isn't a walk away moment. This is a run away screaming and don't look back, lest you be turned into a rock of salt (clever biblical reference). This girl is a needy crazy type, which probably means crazy sex. You've gotten the sex from her, but now it's time to find a crazy, needy girl in your current area. You will never get the sense of security you need from this girl, as she has no ability to provide it. She lacks self control and seems to border on sociopathic tendencies. If she really felt bad about what she was doing, she would have stopped the first or second time. She doesn't learn.

Run away now and block her from your life. You have distance between you, which makes it easier to get the separation you need. You are too young to have to deal with this nonsense. There's good ***** to be had in your current town. Go find it and bury yourself in it.
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Old 08-16-2013, 10:15 AM    (permalink
eaglesalltheway
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
This isn't a walk away moment. This is a run away screaming and don't look back, lest you be turned into a rock of salt (clever biblical reference). This girl is a needy crazy type, which probably means crazy sex. You've gotten the sex from her, but now it's time to find a crazy, needy girl in your current area. You will never get the sense of security you need from this girl, as she has no ability to provide it. She lacks self control and seems to border on sociopathic tendencies. If she really felt bad about what she was doing, she would have stopped the first or second time. She doesn't learn.

Run away now and block her from your life. You have distance between you, which makes it easier to get the separation you need. You are too young to have to deal with this nonsense. There's good ***** to be had in your current town. Go find it and bury yourself in it.
This. If you can't cancel the camping plans, or think you'll have enough of a good time with everyone else, tread lightly with that woman. Though it seems like the more time spent away from her, the better it'd be for you.
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Old 08-16-2013, 11:27 AM    (permalink
vikes_28
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I hate it when girls can't get over their ex. I mean, i am one that truly believes that you can't just "un-love" someone. But you can do things to distance yourself from him/ her. I dated a girl for almost 4 years, was engaged to be married, and then she decided it would be a good idea to talk to guys that told me to my face that they wanted to get in her pants. I asked her several times to stop talking to this guy and hanging out with this guy because I knew what his intentions were.

Finally one night she said she was going somewhere with him and I said I was done. I made it official the next night and told her to sell the ******* ring.

It took me almost 2 years to get over that relationship. I had some flings in between her and my current girlfriend, but I just could not get her out of my head and was so angry towards her. I was her friend on Facebook for a few more months and as soon as she started dating the clown that was messing things up for us, I deleted her, and changed my number so she couldn't talk to me anymore.

She still lives in the same town as me, and i haven't ran into her once (although my family and friends have).

I know how one can feel when they are dealing with an ex that they dated for two years. It can be hard, but there are obvious solutions to distancing yourself from that person.

As far as your problem, Ballin, I would suggest just dumping her ass for good. Move on, find someone who appreciates you like she did, and let her go back to her ex if she wants to. Distance yourself from her and just let it go from there. She obviously doesn't deserve you, and your requests of her aren't unreasonable by any means. If it makes you uncomfortable like you say it does, and she respects you and cares about you, then she would stop. She obviously has not stopped...which is telling you something.

I hope you can figure it out man. bitches be crazy.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:15 AM    (permalink
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wondering if this girl is into me. she's my friends cousin and i've known her on/off for a few months, pretty much an acquaintance. at a party a few days ago, she did the following

-asked me what i'm interested in (never done that before)
-we were in a backyard and i was asking her to get some mosquito spray for me. she was teasing me and asking me what i would do for her to make her get it (i think she ended up taking my half-full beer)
-caught her staring at me when a few of us were sitting down in the backyard patio and just talking (i wasn't the one talking then)
-laughing at a few of my jokes, some i thought were good, but some i personally thought were duds.

there might be a few more but i can't remember them all. she just generally seemed very happy to be around me, but maybe thats my imagination.

thoughts?
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Old 08-21-2013, 07:31 AM    (permalink
georgiafan
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Those are some good signs but its hard to say for sure bc some girls have the flirty personality. They was beer in the party to so that could have mad her act diffrent. But I would just find out from your friends cousin

Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan_87 View Post
wondering if this girl is into me. she's my friends cousin and i've known her on/off for a few months, pretty much an acquaintance. at a party a few days ago, she did the following

-asked me what i'm interested in (never done that before)
-we were in a backyard and i was asking her to get some mosquito spray for me. she was teasing me and asking me what i would do for her to make her get it (i think she ended up taking my half-full beer)
-caught her staring at me when a few of us were sitting down in the backyard patio and just talking (i wasn't the one talking then)
-laughing at a few of my jokes, some i thought were good, but some i personally thought were duds.

there might be a few more but i can't remember them all. she just generally seemed very happy to be around me, but maybe thats my imagination.

thoughts?
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Old 08-21-2013, 07:41 AM    (permalink
draftguru151
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Probably, go ask her out.
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:28 AM    (permalink
Raiderz4Life
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It's been almost 9 months for me since I got my girlfriend and I am a happy happy man. This is already the second longest relationship I've had and it's been great. Even when we have a disagreement we have yet, I never have, to raise our voices at each other and she's usually pretty straight up when something pissed her off.

The sex has gotten a lot better and hopefully will just keep on getting better. Just thought I would update my situation haha
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