Hi my name is ____ and... - Page 3

Chucky · 10-05-2010, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat_Actor

Hi, I am Josh Freeman and I am garbage.

Do you even watch Tampa games?

Fat_Actor · 10-05-2010, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chucky

Do you even watch Tampa games?

With your mom

LonghornsLegend · 10-05-2010, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chucky

Do you even watch Tampa games?

No, he obviously doesn't.

Fat_Actor · 10-05-2010, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonghornsLegend

No, he obviously doesn't.

Dude, quit acting like a diva.

V.I.P · 10-05-2010, 06:16 PM

Hi, my name is Mike Williams, and you're gonna regret not picking me.

YAYareaRB · 10-05-2010, 06:33 PM

Hi my name is 49ers Fans and we want Andrew Luck

Sniper · 10-05-2010, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RufusMcDaniel

Hi, my name is Kevin Kolb and hold on, Lesean looks open.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonghornsLegend

Hi, my name is Kevin Kolb and **** it I'm checking it down.

Bravo to both of you fine gentlemen.

Hi, my name's Asante Samuel, and no, I don't plan on covering or tackling anyone today.

AkiliSmith · 10-05-2010, 06:42 PM

Hi my name is Andre Smith and I like cake

LizardState · 10-05-2010, 06:45 PM

Hi, my name is Wade Phillips & I have absolutely no sense of humor whatever.

Hi, my name is Jason Garrett & I'm a goddamned playcalling genius who's just waiting for that man with no sense of humor to leave so I can take his job that's been rightfully mine all along b/c Jerry promised :--).

Hi, I'm Jay Cutler & why is there no one on the line when I keep picking up this ringing phone?

Hi, I'm Brad Childress & I have an absolute ironclad control over my team.... if that's OK with you, Brett.

Hi, my name is Albert Haynesworth & I've earned every one of those millions I've stolen from Mr. Snyder, & If you keep saying I don't I will rake my cleats over your ************* face!

Hi, I'm Bruce Gradkowski & now that I've shaved my unibrow I no longer look like a sex criminal.

Hi, I'm Roger Goddell & I'm the best shakedown artist premium cable has ever seen.

Hi, I'm Matt Schaub & I'm gonna laugh at all you fools who said we're mediocre when I hoist the Lombardi Trophy.

Hi, I'm Marvin Austin & Coach Blake said I didn't have to wait to graduate for my $ now!

Hi, I'm Bill Bellichick & I'm so goddamned smart, sneaky & ruthless my team doesn't need an OC or a DC so Mr. Kraft can pay me all 3 salaries & put the $ saved toward new video equipment.

Hi, I'm Josh McDaniels & any opponent who beats up my precious cutesy-poo Broncos is cheating!

Hi, my name is Mike Singletary & I haven't got clue one as to what I'm do.......... Rat! That's a rat! Didn't you see that rat?

Hi, my name is Kyle Boller & I can throw it a ******* mile but have no control whatever over where it goes.

Hi, I'm Tim Tebow & I'm not a spoiled brat! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!!

Hi, I'm Pete Carroll & I had no knowledge of that condo where Mr. & Mrs. Bush lived.

Hi, I'm Alex Smith & I can throw it to open receivers that only my super power ultravision can see.

Hi, Mr. Peppers, I'm (name of whatever OT is blocking on Peppers that day) & I would like to apologize in advance for getting in your way while you're en route to concuss my QB.

Hi, my name is Mike Vick, AKA Ron Mexico, don't my prison tats look snazzy?

Hi, my name is Jerry Jones & I'm gonna charge a special $500 a head toll on every paid admission to the next Super Bowl in my own personal Jerryworld stadium if my team isn't in the game b/c the Commissioner said I could.

T-RICH49 · 10-05-2010, 06:45 PM

Hi my name is Shaun Smith and I like to grab some junk

Addict · 10-05-2010, 07:07 PM

Quote:

[Chorus (2x):]
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

[Eminem:]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get ****** up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat ***** who sat down too fast
C'mere ****! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a ****, God sent me to piss the world off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be 35
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, running over pedestrians
In a space ship while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doing drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (**** that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!)
Am I coming or going? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!)
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll **** anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

[Chorus]

that is all.

Saints-Tigers · 10-05-2010, 07:56 PM

Lol seriously, you guys suck. I can make a 3 page post on the ins and outs of a teams offense, but I only get repped if I take a shot at NJX or argue with him.

You all suck, NJX is right.

PackerLegend · 10-05-2010, 08:38 PM

Hi my name is Ted "tightwad" Thompson and im a tightwad.

mother****ing TTT ***** SURPRISE!

ps saints-tigers njx does not know capital letters exist.

Addict · 10-05-2010, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saints-Tigers

Lol seriously, you guys suck. I can make a 3 page post on the ins and outs of a teams offense, but I only get repped if I take a shot at NJX or argue with him.

You all suck, NJX is right.

being the funny guy helps too. Trust me.

PickedOffTwice · 10-09-2010, 10:26 AM

Hi my name is Peyton Hillis and I hit defenders back into the locker room.

McGahee · 10-09-2010, 11:05 AM

Hi my name is Tr...

fenikz · 10-09-2010, 12:17 PM

Hi my name is fenikz and I like to party

Rosebud · 10-09-2010, 12:59 PM

Hi, my name is Kareem McKenzie and I wear this back brace to make a fashion statement.

Hi, my name is Eli Manning, I've played through a seriously dislocated shoulder, a cracked foot, a crack in the other foot caused by playing through the first cracked foot, get beaten on every game and have spent my career playing in one of the most crazy winded stadiums ever, have 4 out of my 5 picks come off of WRs who decided to volleyball-style set the ball instead of using their hands to actually catch it...do you want to be my fwiend? Cause I'm starting to get too old for this ****.